a spoonful of sugar [open SC healing]

While her paws still felt heavy with the new burden of being ShadowClan's singular medicine cat, there was finally hope on the horizon that her efforts would soon begin to slow. With help from both Stagpaw and Hedgepaw ragweed and extra wild garlic had been obtained. In neat little rows lay every herb: Burdock Root, Ragweed, Wild Garlic, Lavender, Lamb's Ear, Coneflower, and Tormentil. Every. Single. One. Finally. Now all that was left was to hand them out. "Burdock I--" Her mouth froze mid-sentence, voice locking in her throat after echoing back at her in the den that she now stood in alone. Alone. She had never been alone before... Always had someone next to her when her heart needed to be held and vice versa. No one to reminisce about her father or her lost siblings. It was just her, herbs, and the cobwebs that had formed in her long absence.

A hearty shake of the head got her paws moving, shoulders shoving past the ragged curtains of ShadowClan's medicine cat den - a mental note being made that they would need replacing. Deep breaths, Heatherberry. ShadowClan cant afford your tears right now. A single green eye scanned the clearing, sick cats spread out everywhere as their healthiest were beginning to be worn thin with repairing camp. They absolutely couldn't afford it. Three by three she grabbed her neat little herb bundles with contents already broken into smaller bits so it was easier to chew. Three by three she distributed them to all the clanmates she could find.

All energy lost to yell out to those she hadn't been able to locate, she decided to grab the nearest able body she could find: Orchidkit. She was grown enough to be able to at least handle distributing herbs, right? They weren't all that heavy. "Orchidkit? Would you like to help me out for a little? It won't be too long, I promise! She gave her signature warm smile, crouching to be at the kits height so she wouldn't have to strain her little neck. "We have some very sick cats in need of healing; everything is already prepared. I just need a special little messenger to help deliver them for me... Do you think you could do that?"

Orchidkit had been playing with a small moss ball in the clearing of the camp, and she looked up at Heatherberry as she left the medicine den - the movement catching her eye. Her mom always told such amazing stories about medicine cats. They actually speak to StarClan, wow! I wonder what they talk about! Her eyes sparkled. I wish I could ask, but she looks busy... Wait!

Orchidkit bright green eyes widened with excitement as the medicine cat started approached her. Me! She's going to talk to me! Heatherberry! She rose to her little paws with her ears perked - the moss ball was as good as dirt now. She gets to talk to Heatherberry! Her fluffy black and white pelt was puffed out with anticipation and her little tail was held high. She closed the distance between her and the she-cat - basically bouncing across the clearing eagerly.  

The medicine den was fascinating - a mysterious cave of wonders! I wonder if I'll be able to see it? Mom doesn't want me going near it and bothering anyone.

She nodded vigorously as Heatherberry spoke, "Please!" She loudly squeaked, almost interrupting her. Oops! Remembering her manners, she dipped her head at the medicine cat before she continued her spiel with wide eyes. "I would love to! Please let me help! I can do it - I'll be the best messenger!"

She was oblivious to how loud she was being, but she couldn't help it. She's going to be Heatherberry's special messenger! Mom would be so proud, and she might actually get to see the medicine den - and, and, and... she'll help all of her sick clanmates!

Recent moons had been some of the hardest of Swiftheart's entire life. She had sunk to levels of misery she previously did not know existed and had been submerged in a state of depression beyond any recognizing of her past self. The usually so happy and socialble warrior had been confined to her nest and barely went out of it for any reason other than her bare minimum essentials and to complete whatever day to day tasks she was assigned.

The days-weeks-moons?? had blurred together into one long blur.  Most times she just lay there exhausted and in the spiraling state felt worse and worse about things. In the back of her mind she knew she had to pull out of this somehow.  That somehow she needed to change what she did or this would claim her entirely. But knowing that and acting to fix it were two very seperate things and the later much harder to actually do.


On top of all her grief and loss, she still had the sickness that had never left.  With such limited herbs earlier she had let the very severe cats go first.

She slumped back down into her nest back from a patrol and put her head down on her front paws.  Her white pelt was clumped and matted and stained with mud specks from the swamp that they called home.  She was too tired to care, or maybe... it was not tired but instead beyond any state of being able to care about? The feeling was one of those, what exactly she could not tell.

Her eyes closed momentarily as the recurring nightmare of everyone she lost played over and over.
The death of her daughter, apprentice, brother and medicine cat all swirled around like a pit of doom in her mind.

Each and everyone of them lost in ways she wasnt able to save. Each one showing how little control of anything she had. Her daughter? Cruelly blinded and then killed. Her last seconds would have been screaming in pain that some loner had taken her eyes before killing her. Tears ran down the warriors face as she thought of Crowspirit as a kit. Her brother? Killed by some wild wolf creature - when swiftheart had ran to try and save frostpaw he had died to give them all more time.  However despite all her efforts to run from the wolves with frostpaw on her back - her apprentice died the following morning from the same sickness that was still hunting herself. And finally, her beloved medicine cat-Burdockroot taken as well by something far beyond her control. A bird of prey that had flown off with her while she had saved Heatherberry.

She let out a cough as her sides shook she sighed a bit.  Part of her wondered if she was even savable now. She had told herself she was holding off on taking the herbs from Heatherberry so that more sick cats could have them.  But was it instead that she felt her own position was so helpless that she deserved to stay sick??


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[redacted]

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Swiftheart jolted upright her claws already extended out as she lashed at the empty air around her.  She panted heavily as if she had just run a mile as she blinked slowly awake. Chills ran all down her body and she wasn't sure if that was from the nightmare or the sickness.

She looked down at her paws- "I ended you fawnpatch. With these paws I sentenced you to die, you cannot hurt anyone ever again" she pushed herself up as she heard the call that herbs were ready for everyone to recover.

"including me" she whispered to herself as she walked out of the warriors den.  She now felt a determination that she had almost long forgotten.  A will that was damaged but still unbroken.  She was going to dig herself out of this rut one pawful of dirt at a time.  Maybe some of it was just to spite Fawnpatch but most of it was because... she was tired of not being herself again.  The road to recovery seemed to stretch out miles before her, but for now the beginnings was the pawsteps over to the herbs to finally heal.

"please? may I have some herbs as well?

It took some insisting from Rookfire to get Poppycloud to follow Orchidkit into the medicine den. He didn't feel bad - yeah, he was sniffing every now and then, but he was doing alright. Sighing, the black tuxedo smiled at Heatherberry, before sitting down with the other cats waiting to be healed. With fly's Heatherberry's prompting, the young tom quickly moved to grab some of the herbs himself, chewing the bundle thoroughly before swallowing.

Badgermask sat in the shadows, a good distance away from her Clanmates as had become common since their return to the camp. She had no words to say to her Clanmates, so caught up in the boiling anger towards herself - at her inability to keep her family safe. Hatred for her weakness, for broken promises that wore her down until all she could feel was the shimmering rage that had no release. Despite her orange spots, she almost disappeared completely into the darkness but her location was given away by the coughing that she hadn't managed to escape yet...

Coughing which easily led gave her away to those who were passing around herbs - thought her burning anger dimmed at the sight of the young kit at Heatherberry's side. Even in her sea of self-loathing, she could not escape her fondness for kits and couldn't help but watch Orchidkit with a gentle tinge of a smile.

Badgermask is given herbs, likely by the adorable Orchidkit because she actually has a huge weakness/soft spot for kits and wouldn't be able to turn her down.

"I believe in you! If anyone gives you any grief, you come run to me. Got it?" There was some renewed pep in her step at the cute interaction she'd just had with Orchidkit. She smiled again, but this time with a sparkle in her eye. The innocense of a kit who knows little to nothing about the world was refreshing.

Voices of different clanmates began to stir the clearing, her head turning to face Larkpaw, her sisters apprentice. "Absolutely! All in need of ridding the sickness can take what's been prepared and get some well needed rest. There is enough for everyone, so don't worry too much." A second voice pipped up as she finished with the apprentice, her ears turning before her head did. "Of course, Swiftheart! There are plenty to go around." The sounds of cats chewing herbs was growing louder, satisfaction that ShadowClan would be well again by at least the next moonrise showing on her face. It was nice to see Rookfire helping escort Poppycloud to get herbs as well.

Coughing was a given, but Heatherberry knew the sounds of her own sister. "Orchidkit, it seems we have a bit of a straggler. Hand off what you have and take one to Badgermask - the molly with the orange spots over there, please." Her black mottle with graying fur flicked in the direction of her sister, sadness showing in her eye. She hoped it would not go back to how it was when Moondancer and Batswarm had died.

Swiftheart nodded a little and munched on the herbs given to her.  They tasted bitter and strange but she knew that this was for the best.  She could not handle any longer being sick and knew that Heatherberry would have her feleling better in no time even if the cure did taste a bit odd.

Swiftheart is now cured

Orchidkit nodded desperately at Heatherberry's instructions. Wow, she believes in me! No grief or run to Heatherberry! Got it! She took her new role as the medicine cat's special messenger very seriously - strutting around and guiding Poppycloud with Rookfire into the medicine den with her tail held high. Wow! The medicine den was amazing. It smelled amazing. Her eyes quickly darted around, but they settled on the sickly cats. She had a mission to follow still. She can explore later!

They all sounded so rough and looked so terrible, and she stared at every sick cat with wide green orbs. But Heatherberry was going to fix them, right? Feeding them these herbs. She pondered - settling on 'they'll be okay'. Of course! Heatherberry is magical - my mommy said so!

She listened to Heatherberry's instructions with perked ears. A straggler! "I got her, Heatherberry!" She mewed, placing down what she had at her paws - except for just enough for Badgermask. Her gaze lifted to Heatherberry, but she looked so sad. Did I do something wrong? No - she believes in me! Is it the sick cats? "Please don't be sad! Badgermask is going to be okay! Everyone is going to be okay soon!" She quickly squeaked in reassurance, muffled due to the herbs in her mouth, hoping to make her feel better somehow. She had to be sad about the sick cats, right? "I'll be right back!"

I have to make Heatherberry and Badgermask feel better! Orchidkit decided, turning and bouncing towards the molly with orange spots as fast as her stubby little legs could let her. "Badgermask! Badgermask!" She chimed the best she could around the herbs. She approached the molly on her wobbly paws, her wide eyes sparkled and her tail held high. She placed the herbs gently in front of Badgermask. "Heatherberry said these herbs are good for your cough! They'll make you feel better! You have to take them, okay? Pretty please! It'll make you feel better and then we can play together. I saw other kits playing mossball - and I bet we can too! As soon as you're better!" She mewed, beaming at the she-cat. She was blissfully unaware of the storm of emotions within her. She just wanted to make Heatherberry and Badgermask feel better!

Orchidkit is trying to give herbs to Badgermask.

Warmth blossomed in Snaildance’s chest – this time due to adoration and not as the herald of a bloody coughing fit. Orchidkit’s desire to help was the cutest thing she’d seen in a while. The treks hadn’t lent themselves to the softer moments in life. It felt a luxury to see it now.

Snaildance liked to think she kept her symptoms under wraps for long enough. Before, she’d endeavored to hide them as a way to avoid her mother’s wrath; if she was allowed to patrol, she could get away from the venomous she-cat for a while. Since she’d become a warrior though she felt it easier to ignore the poisoned words and microaggressions sent her way. She wobbled her tail in greeting to Quillsplash as they passed each other, although he seemed to have a strange look on his face in that brief glance. Probably from the herbs’ taste. She mentally prepared herself for them as she greeted Heatherberry, glad to see that Orchidkit had brightened her mood as well. After glancing back, she looked into the medicine cat’s eye before purring, “She’s so cute!”

The young she-cat spotted one of the herb parcels she’d seen the other ill cats eating. Remembering Quillsplash’s expression, she quickly downed it while trying to avoid the taste as much as possible, but still the dry, bitter taste took over her mouth and throat for a bit. Having gulped it down and sitting to ensure it didn’t come back up, Snaildance mulled over thoughts she’d been having for a while now. She took a deep breath before saying, “Heatherberry, if… when you need help, you can call on me. Even if it’s just an extra pair of paws to bring herbs home, I’ll do it. I want to help.” Maybe, she hoped, it would be better if there were another able-bodied cat in the medicine den every once in a while. With Burdockroot gone she… she couldn’t imagine how lonely it must be in here now.