Cricketkit's Apprentice Ceremony

Cricketkit settled herself on the edge of the gathering crowd, glancing at anyone who sat too close with unveiled suspicion. Nowhere felt safe with Paledove gone. She wrapped her fluffy tail around her paws, trying to ward off the chill. The clan was always moving, pushing forward towards some new unknown, and the world felt entirely too big for the tabby and white she-cat. Everyday she wished desperately that Mother was still around to nudge her in the right direction. But Mother was gone, and her world was a cold and sinister place. She might as well pay attention, be prepared for whatever happened next, and try to survive. Information was useful, so she tried to direct her attention to Wolfblossom, but things kept moving in her periphery. It made her uneasy. The close press of so many cats, even her clanmates, put her on edge. Ears slicking back, she slunk a tail-length farther from the crowd to a more defensive position. She had more escape routes here.

Wolfblossom who was fairly trustworthy in Cricketkit’s mind, called her forward. The fluffy she-cat slowly rose from her seated position. The eyes of all her clanmates made her pelt prickle. She couldn’t show weakness, they’d just pick it apart, use it against her later. She stepped towards the front. Wolfblossom wouldn’t let anything happen to her, right? Surely if anyone tried to take a strike at her here, the massive deputy would defend her.

Unless they were sneaky about it, and tried to humiliate her in front of most of SkyClan. What if someone tried to trip her, or stepped on her tail? They would expose her for what she was, weak. And then the whole clan might turn against her. She couldn’t let their first real opinions of her be spoiled. She lifted her ears off her skull and lifted her chin. There. She was strong, and confident, and brave, and there were so many eyes focused on her. Cricketkit wanted to turn around and run. But there was nowhere to go. Her mother was dead and the nursery was no longer her home. She wanted to find Ospreykit and collapse into a trembling pile of nerves in her sister’s shadow. But she had to make Mother proud. She had to be useful in the eyes of her littermates. She had to survive. No SkyClanner cried.

The white and tabby molly wrapped her tail around her back legs so no one would trip her, and looked up to face the tom that appeared from the crowd. Her strange mis-matched eyes were a mirror of Paledove’s as they narrowed slightly in suspicion. She had to be smart. She had to win the favor of her mentor so maybe he would feel too guilty to try and hurt her when they trained. She had to make a good first impression. Stoatclaw. Rember the name, remember the face. Remember the way he moves and the way his paws sound agasint the snow. Paledove wasn't here to protect her anymore. So she had to remember, be ready for betrayal, and survive.

Cricketpaw dipped her head to her mentor, trying to ease the rapid beating of her heart. She would need her strength. Why? What did that mean? Did her mentor already have plans to test her? She would survive. She would melt into the shape her mentor wanted, she would be useful to him, make him proud. She wouldn’t let him hurt her. He could hurt her so easily. Honeypaw’s smothering presence was a balm. She wasn’t Paledove, but she was better than nothing. The tabby and white molly lifted her chin under Honeypaw’s praise. It warmed all the icy anxieties in her belly. Honeypaw was proud of her. She was getting it right.

Cricketpaw pressed their pelts together as Honeypaw led her away to go make her new nest in the apprentice den. Honeypaw was helping her, was focused on her, wanted her to succeed. Maybe the ginger apprentice wouldn’t leave her to face everything on her own. She just had to keep being useful. Twist Honeypaw’s easy affection into something lasting. “Thank you for everything.” She said softly, her mismatched gaze finding Honeypaw’s and softening with gratitude. Make her feel important. Make her feel special. Make it seem like it was all worth it. She had to keep Honeypaw around, she would never be Paledove, but she could be safe.