Lost [closed]

Lichenpaw was a long way from home.

Immediately following the frightening dream that had befallen him during the previous night, he had fled the suffocating confines of camp in search of fresh air. Find your sparrows, Lichenpaw. The faint hiss seemed to drift after him endlessly, pursuing him to whatever ends of the forest that he had managed to flee to. After blindly stumbling away from RiverClan's territory and past Fourtrees, he had found himself in incredibly foreign and unwelcoming territory. A strange river of grey stone, that he managed to recognize from the countless stories he had heard, wove in and out of the grass like a massive snake- it was the Thunderpath. Sullenly gazing down at the cracked, stained, and foul-smelling mass before him, the young tom could only scrounge up despairing feelings of agitation. The terrifying events that had unfolded within the ethereal realm of his dreaming mind had truly rattled every last fiber within his tumultuous body. The Clans were doomed to die a miserable death and somehow it was his destiny to save them from such a despairing fate?

Find your sparrows, Lichenpaw.

Find your sparrows, Lichenpaw.

Sparrowleaf's heated order relayed over and over within his frazzled mind, rising to a thunderous roar that drown out any other sounds. Nothing seemed to make much sense to his exhausted and rattled mind- not even his surroundings. Shoulders hunching forward in defeat, the young tom found himself bowing forward into a position of subdued reluctance. Lichenpaw was tired, he was afraid, and he felt utterly alone. If Jaystar and Goldeneye were his enemy, who was he supposed to trust in times such as these? And more importantly, who were these sparrows and how was he supposed to find them?

Life was boring.

Brushpaw had been excited to become an apprentice, but now her life had seemed to fall into a rote and routine pattern that she could hardly stand. Wake up at dawn. Go hunting. Feed the elders. Change their bedding. Eat. Train. Sleep. Repeat. Her mentor was nice, but he seemed more like the Clans' ideal of a perfect mentor than an actual cat. Her family was never there, always busy patrolling or talking with other cats. Her fellow apprentices had no interest in her... and why should they? She was only the most intelligent of them, the one who saw through Clan life for everything it was- a lie. Brushpaw loved ShadowClan, loved it with all her heart. So why was serving it so hard? Why was every action she performed so impossible to find joy in? Her life was missing something- she just didn't know what it was. And here she was wandering in the middle of the night, aimlessly padding across the territory, moved by some compulsion she couldn't name.

An unfamiliar sound made the apprentice jump. Pawsteps that weren't her own echoed through the forest, then stopped. Where did that noise come from? Angling her ears towards the direction it originated, the black and brown mottled she-cat hesitantly began walking towards it. This was the way to the Thunderpath... what cat would be out at this time of night? No cat who had any intelligence at all would be out here, in the dark, alone.... Except you, you mouse-brain. Every step she took was louder, every tiny sound magnified a hundred times by her irrational fear. A bird fluttered, a twig cracked, a moth landed on a flower. Her fluffy shoulders hunched up, as if she could protect herself from whatever was out there. When Brushpaw finally reached the hard, black pathway, she blinked in surprise to see that there was a tom sitting by it. A tom she'd seen once before. "Lichenpaw?" Her confused, curious voice echoed in the empty silence. Pale green eyes found the RiverClan apprentice's face. "What are you doing here?"

Gaze remaining sullenly fixated upon the creek of dull stone, Lichenpaw's reeling mind began to pound sharply at the utterly foul stench that arose from the ominous path before him. It felt as though a thick cloud had descended upon him, stubbornly clinging to everything within its path- effectively suffocating all of the living creatures that resided near the treacherous road. Not even the sharp pinch of nausea that constricted his veins could detract from the merciless pounding of apprehensive recollection that repeated endlessly through his mind. Listlessly focusing upon the shallow spray of pebbles that trembled slightly as a car passed by in the distance, the young tom was practically blind to his surroundings.

Desperately searching for an inhale of clean air, Lichenpaw's mind couldn't help but drift back to the fearful expression upon Sparrowleaf's face as she recounted the apparent destruction that was inevitably coming. Ruefully burying his face into his forepaws, the young tom's features creased in distress. How am I supposed to do this, He wanted to wail into the oncoming darkness of the late evening, I'm just an Apprentice! I don't even know how to fight yet. Engrossed with the fearful mixture of self-pity and overwhelming confusion, the young tom refused to lift his head until a familiar voice rang out across the darkness.

Warily peering up from the safety of his paws, it took Lichenpaw several moments to recognize the features of Brushpaw. Grating his teeth once more, he was unsure of the proper answer to the young she-cat's bewildered question. "Trying to hide," He mewed ruefully, unwilling to properly lift his head, "But apparently I didn't do a good enough job if you were able to find me." He didn't want to sit around other cats all day and pretend like everything was fine- the weight hanging over him was too much for something like that.

Brushpaw blinked. Whatever burden was laying on the young tom seemed to be physical as well as mental- it looked like he could hardly stand. Though no one had ever accused her of being overly kind-hearted, the she-cat's immediate impulse was to run over and try to help him, see if he needed assistance. But she had enough restraint to not fling herself at this tom she barely knew. Why was that what she wanted to do? The way the RiverClanner made her feel was... confusing. Like big fluffy white clouds muddling her thoughts, making her someone she wasn't. The thought was disturbing. Shaking herself out of whatever reverie was attacking her common sense, the mottled apprentice approached Lichenpaw more slowly than her muscles seemed to want, then- after a moment of indecision, torn between her head and her heart- sat down on her haunches next to him by the rough black surface of the Thunderpath, not quite giving in to either side.

"I suppose I ought to drive you off the territory," the ShadowClan she-cat noted quietly, her voice still not above a hushed tone that didn't fit her usually witty and sarcastic self. "It's what the code says for me to do. But, I can tell you're having trouble. So... I guess what I'm saying is, stay as long as you like, Lichenpaw."  The night was quiet and deep, not even filled with the usual sounds of wind and leaves and small animals- at least, the noises were less prevalent than she remembered. Her Clan was known for their love of the night, and Brushpaw could see why. It was peaceful, here under the stars, knowing that StarClan was watching over them. But the other apprentice didn't seem to feel the same. His head lay dejectedly on his paws, as if he was trying to hide from some enormous problem that lay upon his shoulders alone. That was a ridiculous thought- what issue could only some small apprentice solve that would affect the world?- but she'd always prided herself on reading other cats. Lichenpaw was having trouble with something... and she wanted to help.

Every fiber of her wanted to make this tom feel better, to help with whatever was making his eyes so dark and distant and ruffling his tabby pelt. She felt closer to him than to any cat in her Clan, and though that should have worried her... it didn't. He needed help, and she was here. This meeting, whatever it was, wasn't just a coincidence- she could tell. The twinkling lights in the dark sky above seemed to be pushing her on, towards the words that were already on their way out of her mouth. "What's wrong, Lichenpaw? You can tell me."

Twisting so that the pristine fur of his stark white cheek was grazed uncomfortably against the unnaturally rough earth alongside the Thunderpath, Lichenpaw resolved to steal a singular glance up at the sky. He had fled in search of solitude, engaging in a desperate search of ending up in a place where no cat would dream of finding him. Yet StarClan, in their infinite wisdom, had delivered him right to another apprentice. Toes tearing slight, shallow furrows in the brittle soil, the young tom's partially obscured glare held a flint-hard glimmer of resentment. There was never a reprieve, was there? At least it was Brushpaw, A small voice whispered within the back of his rattled mind, Better a friend than a foe. The soft sound of pawsteps atop the alien surface of the Thunderpath withdrew him the agitated, forlorn recesses of his mind. Glossy gaze dragging away from the clouded sky, the young tom couldn't help but blink in surprise as he realized that the mottled she-cat had actually crossed over to him.

The expression of surprise still twisted his features as he blinked up at Brushpaw, unsure of how to respond to her words. They had only ever met one time, for the briefest interval, and yet here she was, willing to offer a kindness to him that his own Clanmates refused to do. Reluctantly drawing himself up from the awkward, fetal position that he had fallen into, hesitance flushed through his veins as he struggled over what to say. What could he say? He had desperately yearned for a chance to fall into a conversation such as this, yet never imagined it to be possible. He was supposed to bear this alone, right? The delicate build of his face was shadowed with blatant uncertainty as he finally spoke. "I... have to do something, something that is messy and ugly and cruel. But they say it's the right thing to do, that it's the best for everyone. But I don't know if it's truly the right thing to do."

The explanation was undoubtedly a weak one at best, but unveiling the truth so soon frightened Lichenpaw. The only cat who knew was Darkpaw, but not even he knew the extent of what Lichenpaw had managed to get himself into.

As her fluffy tail moved slowly back and forth across the hard surface of the Thunderpath, Brushpaw listened intently to the RiverClanner's words. Though they were definitely vague- probably intentionally- her art of reading other cats meant Lichenpaw had already given away more than he thought. His prolonged glances towards the dark, cloudy sky made her surmise that the "they" he had referred to was StarClan themselves; the makers of the warrior code and creators of the Clans. He... how, though? How had this young tom gotten tangled up in a life-changing matter with their warrior ancestors? Though it was implausible, the strange nature of Lichenpaw made the black and brown she-cat trust her first impulse immediately. But how on earth was she to respond, when she had no idea what she was getting into- let alone what he already had? It was a conundrum.

All this passed through Brushpaw's mind in the blink of an eye, as she sat by the thin tabby tom and swished her tail thoughtfully. Ought she to let on that she understood his cryptic words' meanings, at least somewhat? Giving away information was usually not something she did freely, but her curiosity drove her forwards. If she implied that she knew more than she did, maybe he would trust her with more. But what should she say? How would she know what to do? After a silence that felt longer than it was, the ShadowClan apprentice spoke. "I'm sure StarClan knows what's best, Lichenpaw," she finally responded. "But if something truly seems that horrible, how do you know that it's what you have to do? Is there no other way?"

Lichenpaw still felt like burying his head beneath his paws and crying or curling up into such an insignificant speck that the ground would open up and swallow him whole. Gaze wandering over the bleak territory that unfolded around the Thunderpath haphazardly, the young tom's shoulders lurched forward in an unattractive slouch. It all just felt like too much. Why did this have to be his duty? However, the momentary inkling of surprise that pulsated through him at Brushpaw's words held ward off the unpleasant droning of his mind for a brief moment. Cats rarely ever saw through him with such ease- normally they just brushed away whatever he was saying or condemned him for some meaningless vision they relieved. It felt strange to be seen through in such a manner, especially when it was usually him doing such a thing. Blinking over at Brushpaw with a strange, forlorn expression simmering painfully within his gaze, the young tom let out a slight sigh before casting his gaze elsewhere once more.

"StarClan said if I don't obey their words, the Clans won't survive for much longer. Everything we know and love will just... cease to exist." Lichenpaw admitted softly, his once fully displaying the true fear he felt within, with the note of honesty making him appear much younger. "They say that sometimes terrible things must be done in pursuit of the greater good. I just don't know if I can do it, never mind do it by myself."

It seemed that she was on the right track, and that Lichenpaw truly was involved with StarClan's plans, somehow. Brushpaw listened thoughtfully to the words that he spoke, seeing him in a somewhat different light even as a strange, fearful shine glowed in his impossible eyes. His words, however, sent a thrill of fear through her as well, which showed briefly in her tensed muscles. The Clans, in danger? And Lichenpaw, somehow tasked with saving them all... through some terrible method that frightened even their very savior. Yet, even as the chills of fear for her life and her family's ran down her spine, something seemed to calm her. She didn't know what, but some other part of her took hold of the scared young apprentice's mind and caused it to look at things more analytically. StarClan had to know what they were doing... right? The fact that they were aware of this great danger spoke volumes to the possibility of deliverance. Did Lichenpaw truly have the power to save them all?

Silhouetted by the stars' light, the mottled she-cat looked up at the sky, gazing with an unnamed calmness at the representations of her ancestors. They knew what they were doing. Filled with this wordless reassurance, the previously terrified apprentice seemed to glow with a wisdom that she knew she did not hold. Her luminous, pale green eyes fixed on Lichenpaw's, and the words she spoke were careful, slow, and deliberate. "What if... what if you didn't have to do it alone? StarClan is with you, but... what if other cats could help you as well? Ease your burden?"