Now That We're Dead [Dovefrost]

Beechfang hadn't realized how... Strange Starclan truly was compared to the living world. With how many cats had died, it should have been crowded. It... Wasn't, though. The time that passed was quiet... Peaceful almost. Unsettling, to her wary mind. Still, she was here. Actually here. She hadn't expected to be, but becoming a Starclan cat suddenly opened up possibilities that she'd thought would be denied.

Possibilities like finding her mate. Her family. Possibilities that Beechfang would not waste time in pursuing.

It was as if no time had passed at all before she found the familiar white pelt. "Dovefrost!" Star speckled paws bounded forward, nearly skidding to a stop in front of him, a wave of regret washing over her for so many things... She had wanted to do better, and yet still she'd managed to find herself in exile... Then find herself back in the clan and starting a war with her presence. Both times her family had paid the price for her actions.

"I've missed you, so much. And I'm sorry. For everything."

The large white tom perked up at the call of his name. Green eyes going wide as he turned coming face to face with his mate. He knew how the battle had turned out, but he wasn't expecting her so soon. He figured she would linger a little longer, but here she was. Here with him, after so many moons. He didn't bother with her words for a moment instead, butting his head against her affectionately. "I have missed you too.. and there is no need to apologize for anything."

For a moment her eyes closed, a purr rumbling in her chest as Dovefrost's head bumped hers. "Part of me had hoped to stay longer. Selfish as it was." She still went back on forth on whether putting her kits in such danger had been worth the extra time... But Beechfang wasn't sure she would have made a different choice, either. She was simply grateful for the time she had found with them.

"I wasn't expecting to wind up here." She admitted, "Not after everything." It still didn't feel real, like she would close her eyes and find herself elsewhere, the serene landscape and her mate gone.

"I think if given the chance all of us would want to stay longer." He knew he would have, especially if he had gotten to spend more time with all of his kits, and watched them grow up. "And you deserve to be here.. maybe when I met you things weren't.. great, but you grew, you changed, you lived a better life than what you had."

"Some cats deserve a second chance, whether they find it in life or death is to be determined, but you my dear found yours in life." The large white tom stated, taking the chance to lick down some fur that had stuck up on the she-cat's head from his affections.

"Oh, for sure." She nodded in agreement. Most cats would, that much was a certainty in her eyes. Few cats didn't, mostly those too broken down by life with nothing to keep them going.

When they had met, she had been a very different cats, that was true. "Mhmm. I was so blinded by vengeance I could focus on nothing else." For Featherkit, for the clan, for the wasted moons of her own life spent languishing in the medicine den, eventually. "Knowing what I do now, I think I could have done things differently." Too late now, and she wouldn't wish to be put back into the world of the living, either. Beechfang had lived a life. Not a pretty one, perhaps, but it was hers. There were things she might have changed if she could go back, but the past was immutable. They could change going forward, and that was what she had eventually focused on.

The silver tabby leaned into Dovefrost's embrace, tail curling against his. "Our kits didn't need to ask, but I'm glad I got that chance from them anyways, even with how it ended." She mewed, "Three of them leading the clan when I returned... I shouldn't have been so surprised. You were a good influence on them when I couldn't be."

"What have you been doing all this time, just... watching everything?" Screaming in horror, maybe. It still felt strange to reconcile the power that she knew Starclan had with the cats she loved being up there, much less with how the stars chose to use or not use that power... And she was one of them now. It was a strange thought.

Dovefrost let out a small chuckle at her comment. "I tried to be while I was still around." He tried to lead them on the best path he could, but there was only so much he could do in death.

"Besides taking the occasional moment to hunt among the stars and spend time with old clanmates, I have mostly been watching. Following. If it wasn't you, it was one of our children. Occasionally I would find myself back at Thunderclan. I may have left them, but they are still partly my home." That was pretty much it. While others didn't bother to follow the living too much, he did. There were still many cats left down there that were important to him.

"You spent most of your life there, who could think they weren't?" Beechfang shrugged, "They're a different clan than the one led by Nettlestar or Minkstar, but they're still Thunderclan." She had not known the two Thunderclan leaders well, but she had known those who shared in their responsibilities and had known enough cats who had thought highly of them. And Mossbloom, of course, who she would have to track down at some point. She had watched all of the clans change while still walking the forest, getting to do that from the stars though... That would probably take some getting used to. As for the more recent rift between Thunderclan and Skyclan... Beechfang felt reasonably sure that for now she would stick to the cats she knew. "Watching should be... Something. So too will catching up," And stars were there a lot of cats she was realizing she would get the chance to catch up with that she hadn't had - or taken - in life.