An Apprentice's Walk of Shame [Closed]

OOC: Follow up of this topic

Amberpaw tore open his eyes as he ripped himself back to consciousness. Panic tingling his nerves, the tom whipped his head around, hungrily scanning the surrounding trampled underbrush for his opponent. There was nobody in sight. Amberpaw tasted the air. The trespasser's stench was stale, and it lead toward the border, away from Thunderclan. The apprentice breathed a sigh of relief - his clan was safe. It didn't cross Amberpaw's naïve mind that the oblivious loner wasn't much of a threat against a herd of warriors, anyway.

Amberpaw laboriously rose to his paws, big body bruised and scratched. Blood clotted into his long locks, turning a few patches of his fur from ginger to scarlet. I lost, he thought, the weight of his failure slowly settling onto his chest. He began to understand what the significance of his loss was - he had wandered from the patrol, and, instead of regrouping or heading back to camp, he had attacked another cat without provocation. He - a barely trained, weak, stupid apprentice - had actually thought he could take on an older, stronger, perhaps deadly opponent. Flatting his ears in shame, Amberpaw turned toward camp and began his journey home. 


How long have I been passed out? Where is the patrol? Is anyone looking for me? They probably thought Amberpaw had gone back to camp to regroup. After what felt like an eternity, Amberpaw stumbled through Thunderclan's camp entrance, head hung in shame, refusing to lift his gaze as a cat approached him.

The sight of a beaten, bloodied and bruised apprentice was not the sight Firefly had wanted nor expected to see. "Amberpaw! What happened to you?" The sudden realization that he had left with a patrol earlier that day made her ears flicked back. "Where's the rest of your patrol? Do I need to grab backup? Are they alright?" Green eyes flicked to the forest behind Amberpaw, expecting to see some great beast coming up behind him.

The tom pawed at the sandy ground nervously. It was one thing to actually experience the shame of losing his fight, now he had to tell everyone what had happened. "Firefly..." Amberpaw was at a loss for words. At least it was Firefly who had noticed him first, though. He couldn't explain why her presence was comforting, since the only thing in common they shared was the discovery of Peonykit. He finally lifted his amber gaze to see her face. "I was chasing some prey and got separated from the patrol. I was about to go back to camp and wait for them to return, but...then I smelled a trespasser from Twolegplace. I...I thought I could chase him off all on my own. I thought I could...you know...be like a warrior, and protect the clan. But I...I couldn't. I wasn't good enough. He beat me." As he spoke, the apprentice's voice grew quiet with defeat. "The rest of the patrol is fine, as far as I know. The trespasser knocked me out, but when I woke up I smelled his scent returning to Twolegplace."

It took everything to hold her tongue after hearing that Amberpaw had tracked down a trespasser by himself, and instead let him finish what he had to say. Once he'd finished, it was vary clear that Firefly was not happy. Scarred face was scrunched and green eyes narrowed and she debated on whether or not to yell at him.

But the flame-pelted apprentice was still young, and Firefly had done her fair share of dumb things: her scarred face a reminder of that. "...I can't say that I'm not disappointed in you for fighting on your own. However, I understand why you thought you could: I was the same way." Well, she was still like that even as a seasoned warrior. "I won't tell Mottlestar if you promise me that this will not happen again." Her voice was stern and her gaze intense. Amberpaw would not get off so easy if Mottlestar were to catch him a second time... And in turn Firefly may get in trouble for not telling her.

"I can't say that I'm not disappointed in you for fighting on your own." That word - dissapointed - struck Amberpaw like a blow to the chest. That was, perhaps, his greatest fear: to disappoint others, especially those he looked up to. Ducking his head in shame, the ginger tabby listened to the rest of Firefly's words. "I won't tell Mottlestar if you promise me that this will not happen again." Fear. Amberpaw hadn't even thought about what punishment Mottlestar would give him. Keep him an apprentice forever? Perhaps that was too extreme, but in Amberpaw's mind, that was the sentence he faced. In Amberpaw's defense, he had only been following the Warrior Code by challenging a trespasser and trying to protect his clan at the potential cost of his life. But, Firefly was right - as an apprentice, he shouldn't have fought the cat on his own. He should've found the patrol and brought them to deal with the trespasser. Or, Amberpaw should've just asked the wanderer to leave, not straight-out attack the loner.

"This won't happen again, Firefly. But, I'd never ask you to withhold this from Mottlestar. What you do or don't tell her is your decision, but no matter what I accept whatever punishment I face." This was perhaps the most embarrassing thing Amberpaw had ever experienced. He lifted his eyes, observing Firefly's scar carefully. "Have...have you ever lost a fight, Firefly? Not a spar...a real fight."

"You've repented enough, and Im putting my full trust in you to never willingly do this again. I will have to tell Fawnshine and Echopaw about this, however. What they do with that information... That is up to them. But you need your wounds taken care of first and foremost."

The next thing out of Amberpaw's mouth made her whiskers twitch in a scowl she had to fight to control. Had she lost a real battle? Jayfrost - a WindClan warrior - forced their way into her thoughts, her blood beginning to boil. Her green eyes closed as she breathed in and then out, as Comfreyheart had told her to do when her anger wanted to seize control: Amberpaw was not at fault. It was an innocent question. "Yes. Once. I, too, actively searched out a cat not too long ago. He had caused StarClan to act when he struck me at a gathering when we were both apprentices. I... I lost against someone I hate with every fiber of my being. A cat that vecame an apprentice after me. A cat who has a permanent limp. It's frustrating. And I train more than ever so that I may never lose again." She had never told anyone else this besides her bestfriend. It was a weird feeling.