In Morning [c]

ooc; takes place in the middle of the night post-sitewide victory

They had won, but it felt like a loss.

A deep, empty, hollow numbness was all that she felt following their victory. It should have been a time for rejoice. It should have been a time of celebration. The stars had returned, with their ancestors once more twinkling overhead. No more did the shadows constantly drain the vibrancy that Thunderclan had been known for, no longer did she move about their territory with caution to every step and word. But for every victory, a price had to be paid. Battles never came away with a pure victor. In the end, both sides always lost something. Thunderclan was no different, and unknowingly to the molly, the rest of the Clans had all lost someone as well.

She felt alone, in every sense. Even Stoatstar, the tom she had made it her mission to take care of, had been pushed away in hurt. Appledapple had spent time with her, but they weren't close. Softfall had led himself down a troubled time, but had found his place among the stars after hoping for forgiveness. Minnowfin had a duty to his Clan as the deputy. It was something the tortoiseshell molly would never fault him for, if anything, she worked her hardest to support him. When it came to the vigil for the fallen, she couldn't bring herself to stay. Broken, numbed steps carried her away from camp, away from everyone as she found herself beneath the Owl Tree. The place where she and her mate had truly bonded as a pair, a place of loving, fond memories.

It would be a lie to say that life hadn't taken its toll on the tortoiseshell as her kits all seemed to fade away in one way or another. Grief had hit her hard each time, but it was the smiling faces of the rest of them that kept her going.

Mothkit... Mosskit... Tigerpaw... Mistlepaw...

Morningsun.

A wail pierced the otherwise victorious silence of the night as she sat beneath that tree. Its sound echoed the brokenness of a soul, of a heart that had been shattered to pieces. No longer did she have the smiling face of her children to keep her going on. No longer did she have any kin, aside from her mate, who held her heart so preciously. Sobs poured forth from the small tortoiseshell frame that sat, absolutely dwarfed by the great oak tree's presence.

Violent wishes ran through her head between each broken sob. Oh, how the mother wanted to spend another hunting trip with her son. The vibrant life who was simply a fluffier version of his father, who carried the same spirit of compassion that she had. His tenacity for life, the drive to do his best... She wanted to congratulate him one more time, to tell him just how proud she was of everything that he accomplished. Memories of when she would keep him still between her paws to groom his bramble-tangled pelt flooded her mind, of her comforting purrs as he protested because he simply wished to keep playing with his siblings.

She thought to his apprentice ceremony, of just how happy and proud he was to be apprenticed. To learn to hone his skills and be the warrior that he truly was meant to be. She thought of the heartwarming feeling of him making friends, and just how much pride she felt when she had heard about how he approached Stoatstar to take care of the tom, much like she had during her own apprenticeship. Most of all, she thought to his warrior ceremony.

Morningsun.

A name that was fitting of the tom in every way. Each morning brought with it new life, a new chance. He held so much hope and care for each of his clanmates that no matter what they had just endured, he would talk to them with a smile on his maw. Even during the celebration they had held, Morningsun had offered Softfall to come over, despite his own struggles. The tortoiseshell truly believed he had held the vibrance of the sun in his paws. A true gift from Starclan, the best son she ever could have asked for. All of her children were so dear to her. She had so much love for all of them.

Her world now felt dark. It was empty. The paws that had been supporting her through her sobs of each memory now faltered, forcing the grieving mother to the ground. All she wanted to know was why. Why did the world have to take away every one of her children? Why did it have to take them? Why did the Dark Forest steal her son's life for the stars to return? Her amber gaze couldn't even lift towards the sky to look for his star. Her head fell against the forest earth as she continued to wail, the emotions she couldn't even truly feel spilling out from her small body. All she wanted was her family again.

But her sun had been taken away.

The weary, yet victorious clan gathered to conduct a vigil for those lost in the battle. There were faces of joy, relief, and pride, but there were also expressions of sadness, and utter loss. His own was included in the latter. Now that disbelief was wearing off, the realization was settling in. The tom had convinced himself that attending the vigil was necessary; he needed to be strong for the clan. Sitting under the star-strung sky, Minnowfin felt lost. All the suppressed unpleasant emotions he had been keeping in check threatened to unravel, so he edged away from the group. At last, he could no longer hold them in, coming out in a physical form of a soured mess, hurled into a nearby bush.

Just as he was about to turn back to the others, a tortoiseshell pelt brushed past, racing into the woods. Mottlerose? Knowing he had not talked with his mate about... what had happened, he knew now was the time. A heartbroken wail pierced into the silence, and the tom echoed it inside. Limbs trembling, he trailed after his mate up to the very tree where the two had bonded. Silently, the tom sat facing the molly who had sunken onto the ground, pressing his head against hers. He tried to give her as much comfort he could offer, wrapping his tail around the both of them, but grief was wracking his mind as well. Sorrowful tears spilled from his eyes, and in his blurry vision, he covered the mother in a distressed embrace.

Our kit is gone... our sun.. our star..

It was as if everything had gone numb, as if all she could feel were the tears streaming down her cheeks. The deep pit of despair coming out of her chest. It was a black hole, sucking up her tortoiseshell pelt alongside it. That pit of doom seemed endless, and for a moment, her mind wondered to whether or not that was how it had felt for the cats who passed during the time of the Dark Forest. It was such a heavy weight upon her soul, she wanted nothing more than to let it take her.

It was disrupted by the feeling of a head pushing against her own, and in an instant, it was as if her heart knew who it was. Minnowfin. A shocked, tearful gaze lifted instantly, meeting his own distressed gaze. She had fully expected him to be back at camp, attempting to shoulder everything... But even then, Mottlerose knew in her heart. They both carried a lot on their shoulders. Minnowfin especially, as he was the deputy. She could tend to her grief simply as a mentor, but he had the weight of being a deputy on his shoulders as well. Stifled hiccups of sobs came from the small molly as she brushed herself close to the tom, her head burying into the crook between his shoulder and leg.

It was there that the pair would be for some time, simply letting all of the grief that enveloped the two of them out. All she wanted was to stay with him, to see the happy family that they had raised yet again. It hurt even looking at her mate, knowing that their son was a fluffy spitting image of him. A shaky, heavy breath finally broke the dark silence with the pair. Her own paws had been kneading at the ground, and it was a habit that she'd picked up from her mate. "I-I... I miss him..." She whimpered pitifully, trying her hardest to regain some semblance of composure. She was a warrior of Thunderclan, for the sake of the stars. But... she couldn't bring herself to do so. Instead, all she could do was bury her face into her mate's silvery pelt, finding whatever comfort there was in the world in him. "I miss him so much, Minnowfin..."