Song of Tragedy [Open]

The birth of kits had always in the past been cause to celebrate in the Clans. It had meant more future warriors, and more able bodies. Today should have been no different, as a cry rang out through the camp, signaling the arrival of another litter.

Mistysky had finally given birth to her kits, four beautiful she-cats, and one tom. But she did not smile. There was no joy to be had for kits who never got to live their lives. The still bodies laid beside her, and Mistysky weeped, the loss a mother felt apparent in her eyes, even if she had never known what could have been her bundles of joy.

Still, they needed names, and so she rested her head on each, a sob as she felt their cold bodies under her nose rippling through her body.

First the tom, a ginger, just like his father. "Sunkit. May you burn as brightly as ever, wherever your journies take you."

Then came a pale tortoiseshell cat. So soft, so gentle. So delicate. "Petalkit, my delicate little flower. May you find yourself blooming into a beautiful flower, even if I am not there.

Next, a white she cat. "Featherkit. May you always be able to fly, just as carefree, without the weight of this world holding you down."

Then, there was a rosetted she cat, such a beautiful sight. "Emberkit. May your inner flame always be lit, even in the darkest nights."

She was about to move onto the last kit, a whiter version of her sister, when she gasped in shock. This kit had just moved. She was giving little squeaks, and Mistysky broke into tears once more. "Specklekit. My little Speck of hope. Welcome home."

The small tabby pulled her only surviving kit close, wrapping herself around her, protecting her. In that moment, Mistysky knew she would do anything for this kit.

Fawnsong knew of Mistysky's pregnancy but... the she-cat didn't ask for his help. And neither he was too enthusiastic about helping the cat who, as an apprentice, tried to imply that he and his siblings didn't belong to Windclan because of his non-clan origins. However, if she had asked for help... Fawnsong would have given it to her. It was his duty, whether he liked it or not. But Mistysky never came to him... until the very last moment.

When he was sorting herbs and preparing for his next herb hunting trip, another queen came running into his den, telling him Mistysky was giving birth. The tom panicked and tried to collect everything in the rush of the moment. Why in Starclan didn't she tell me she was ready?! I could have prepared her for this, make sure the kits would be safe! He thought, grabbing as fast as he could raspberry leaves, chervil and burnet.

The ginger tabby tom left his den as soon he was ready and ran towards the nursery. But when he entered, a strong scent of blood made him stop at the entrance. He couldn't hear Mistysky yowling from pain nor the mewing of newborn kittens. This isn't right... Slowly, the medicine cat apprentice approached the origin of the smell and though his eyesight was still recovering, he recognized the young warrior inside the nursery. Fawnsong didn't say a word, realizing that the grieving mother was giving her kits names despite... not having received the gift of life. Once she was over, the tom approached her. His expression was a serious one, only distorted by a frown on his face. "You should have told me you started labour. I could have helped..." He mewed with a strict voice. However, his factions softened a bit when his eyes finally caught the bodies of the dead kittens. It wasn't fair to scold her in a situation like this and though she had to learn to ask for help, even from a cat she despises, it was not the time. Fawnsong sighed and laid down at a reasonable distance. "I know we aren't exactly... friends and, to be quite frank, I don't like you. But as a medicine cat in training... you should chew these. They will make you feel better." With one paw, the tom pushed the herbs towards the new mother, hoping she would take them. If not for her... for Specklekit. The little kitten needed his mother.

Fawnsong had entered the den, and immediately Mistysky pulled Specklekit closer, eyeing the supposed medicine cat warily. "I didn't need help. I still don't. Not from you. Train all you want, you will never be my medicine cat. You're not him. You never will be."

With her paw, she hid her only kit from Fawnsong's sight, still glaring at the tom. He didn't like her? Then why was he here? It was some other queen that called for him, not her. She insisted that Mistysky needed help. But all he was doing was being a burden, making her feel even worse. She bent her head to lick her kit's fur, grooming her to comfort herself as much as her kit at this point. Fawnsong mentioned something about herbs, and Mistysky merely flicked an ear.

"Leave them. I will eat them when I am ready."

The tom remembered why he didn't like talking to Mistysky. He flinched and his back fur bristled at her snappy words. He was just trying to help! And he treated him like he was going to hurt her kit or something. The ginger tabby frowned and his tail flicked from side to side, annoyed. "You needed it. You suffered alone all because of your pride and ego. And where did it get you?" He mewed back with a mostly serious voice, but with a hint of annoyance and anger. " I don't care if I'm not YOUR medicine cat. I'm the medicine cat of this clan, our clan. And my job is to take care of all those belonging to Windclan... including you and your kit."

Fawnsong paused for a moment, trying to calm himself before saying anything stupid. He too was short-tempered, grumpy and prone to emotions. But he wasn't the prideful tom he used to be as a warrior. The scars on his face had made him more humble and more eager to change his ways. It wasn't an easy path. He sighed and looked directly into the grieving she-cat's eyes. "And no. I'm not your brother, I'm not trying to be him and even if I tried, I can't replace him. How could I, anyway? From what I have been told by Hentooth, he was chosen by Starclan as a kit. He was destined from birth to follow this path before tragedy stopped him. It wasn't fair... and it wasn't fair either that Starclan decided it was me, a warrior, to follow in his footsteps. I'm not gifted. I'm just a cat trying to be the best he can for his clan." His frustrations leaked out during his speech. The tom knew he had nothing to prove to the she-cat that wanted his family to be split apart and leave the clans. Still, the little ego in him couldn't stand the fact that his own clanmate would dismiss his honest attempts to help her and her new family, despite his disdain for Mistyky.

The former warrior stood up. However, he wasn't ready to leave. His eyes moved towards the small kit, sheltered in his mother's paws. "Would you at least let me see if Specklekit is healthy? I need to know if I should bring more herbs for him too."

Fawnsong asked to see the kit in her paws, and she relented. "Her. She's a she-cat." She moved her paw, looking steadily at the tom.

"Look, I know what you think about me. And no, I don't hate you because of where you come from. You grew up just fine. You and your brother. What I hate is that my family has fallen apart, and I am supposed to just sit back and watch as other cats take their place. Every cat I love dies. My parents. My siblings. And now my kits. So call it what you will, pride, ego, whatever. But when everytime I have to look at you, and have to remember everything I have lost..."

She broke off, not willing to say anymore. Fawnsong was right. They weren't friends. Slowly, she got up, moving away so Fawnsong could check up on her kit. And when she thought he wasn't looking, she ate the herbs. If only to help her kit.

"I apologize. I couldn't get a good sight of her before." He said with an apologetic nod.

His stern, almost angry corporal attitude changed with every word the she-cat said. His fur returned to normal and he no longer feel the urge to hiss at her. Instead, he just blinked, processing what just happened. For moons, the tom believed Mistysky despised him for being the son of a medicine cat and a loner, born outside the clan and the laws of the Code. It was unfair and he knew that his origins weren't seen in a good light by the clans. That's why he tried so hard to be the best, to impress his clan and prove his worth. And now... she was telling him it was not because of that. But because of his new role in the clan, one that the tom didn't even want in the first place. How twisted the fates were... Fawnsong lifted his paw and touched his scars, remembering his own losses. Though he can somehow empathize with Mistysky's feelings... he couldn't say he understood her completely. As she said, Fawnsong still had his brother who supported him in this new path Starclan had made him follow. If the tom was in her paws... he would have probably felt the same.

The medicine cat apprentice wanted to say something but... what was to say? He couldn't change what she felt about him and... the tom still had some bitterness towards the she-cat for what she said as an apprentice. But the status quo was broken now because both of them opened up to each other in a time of tragedy. Fawnsong simply lowered his ears and, after giving a look at Mistysky that seemed to ask for the molly's permission, he approached the kit carefully. Though the kitten was born in newleaf, the tom still checked his breathing and nostrils for any signs of greencough. With his right paw, he gently touched her tail to check her reaction. He was pleased to see the she-kit didn't seem to have visible locomotor problems and was breathing just fine.

Fawnsong took a step back and mewed. "She's a healthy kitten. Keep her warm and well-fed. If you need help getting her milk, visit my den... or you can send someone to tell me if you don't want to see me. I can send you some herbs that will help." With those words, his job here was technically over. But the former warrior still needed to get some stuff out of his chest. When he was about to leave, he turned his head back at Mistysky, fixing his eyes with hers. "I would lie if I say I don't mind what you said to me and my family when we were kits. How you treated my mother back then... But I can relate and understand what you feel to some extent. I don't blame you for disliking me and though we are far from being friends... I truly hope you can find peace and happiness eventually. I'm trying to get that myself too..." The tom then looked at the exit of the nursery and mewed. "From now on, you can send apprentices to tell me about your kit's condition if she needs any medical help. You don't have to come and see me if you don't want to. Just... take care of yourself and your kit. You know where I am if you need anything."

It took Mistysky a long moment to figure out what Fawnsong was even talking about. The moment had seemed so insignificant to her. "When you were kits....? Your mother and I never had a good relationship, not with how she treated me when I was an apprentice, but I never had any reason to dislike you or your siblings. Whatever I had said, I don't think I had meant anything by it. And even if I had, I was... not the same cat. That was back when my petty rivalries even meant something. It's all just so tiring now. Either way, though, I'm sorry."

With Specklekit checked over, and thank the stars, confirmed healthy, Mistysky moved back over, curling herself around the tiny molly. She was painfully aware of the 4 cold bodies next to her. "Fawnsong. Could you....could you help me bury them? They need a proper burial, and I don't want to do it alone."

OOC: so much for me to keep up with :(

Specklekit squeaked as she wriggled, oblivious to the grief that hung in the air. she was passed from one cat to another, and she panicked once she couldn't feel the warm, milk-scented fur of her mother. she opened her mouth and wailed as loudly as she could, reaching out in the darkness for her mother.

The realization that Mistysky didn't even remember the words she said... how she made him feel like he wasn't really wanted and that he should have been separated from his mother because she was a medicine cat... it made his blood boil. But he just took a deep breath and calm down. He shouldn't hold to the past so fiercely. The she-cat was right: she wasn't the cat she used to be and neither was he. Now that Mistyky was a mother, would she have said the same things to Hentooth, despite their apparent troubled relationship? Probably not.

With slow movements, the tom returned back to the mother and looked down at the kits next to her. If Starclan weren't by their side, he and his brother would have ended just like them... poor souls. Even without the stars... he hoped their spirits will find their way into Starclan. Maybe Berrypaw would take care of them. His scarred face shifted to the mewing kitten, eager to feel her mother's warmth. Deep inside the tom felt like this wasn't just Mistysky's fault, but also the Dark Forest's. They took away the blessing of the stars and the clans were suffering from it. Has Mistysky been eating well when those blood-thirsty ghosts kept pushing them around, making hunting more difficult? It was a miracle that Specklekit could be by her mother's side and feel her love. But she wasn't going to survive alone. His eyes finally met Mistysky's. He could see that familiar lost stare in her factions... one he sees every day in himself. Fawnsong knew first-hand how hard it was to do what you're supposed to do when you're lost and depressed, deep inside a bottomless pit that you can't get out. Mistysky was there too... but she had a kitten now and the molly had to be strong for her. Specklekit need her and if there's anything he could do to save that miracle... he was going to despite his grievances with the she-cat. "Of course... He finally mewed. Burying your own kits was painful, but the tom hoped it would give Mistysky some closure and maybe find the strength to move on for Specklekit. "I have some flowers in my den we can use for their burial. You need to rest though. If you're okay with it... I will take them outside and prepare them for when you're ready. I'll be waiting." He paused, trying to figure out the best way to comfort her so she could be better for the she-kit. At last, Fawnsong decided he wasn't the best cat to be there for her. After all, they were far from friends. "I can call someone you like to visit you in the meantime. To help you process... all of this." Instinctively, his tail softly touched hers as a way to say 'I'm her for you'. The tom didn't know why he did it but... it felt like the right thing to do. He didn't want anyone to feel alone in their despair, not like him.

Batsong had heard that Mistysky's kits were here and she got to her paws excited to go and see them. She saw Whisperpaw was ahead of her... hmm that was odd whipserpaw seemed very hesitent to go in... then it hit her when she saw the grim look on fawnsongs face when she saw him... oh no.

Slowing her pace alot she slowly entered looking down at her paws as she glanced about. "C-c...congratulations ma" she stuttered a little. She had gotten alot more comfortable calling Mistysky by mom or ma ... and Misty had never objected ever since that day they had mourned berrypaw together... this was turning into that too eerily again. She sat down somewhat close to Mistysky but she also didnt want to hover and anoy her... she never knew what she was supposed to do during times like this... the already bad stutter was made worse by this when she spoke again "i-i.. i...I'm s-..s--s... so sor--- her voice cut out it was too hard to do this for her right now... Mistysky just needed her to be here for her right now not a stuttered out appology that Batsong couldnt have done anythong about anyways. With this in mine she didnt attempt to speak again for now and simply nuzzled Mistysky's shoulder with her head. The shy black furred warrior was not very open with many cats but the few she had bonds with were very deep and close. Mistysky was essentually her mother and had raised her as her own. She would look out for Specklekit like an older sister best she could

"Thank you Fawnsong. For everything. You really are a good medicine cat, and thank you for understanding." She dipped her head to the tom, allowing him to take his leave as Whisperpaw entered. Mistysky hadn't expected the apprentice to visit, although she couldn't say why they wouldn't. She gave a half hearted smile, inviting the apprentice to sit down with her.

"Thank you, Whisperpaw. Fawnsong says that she, at the very least, is healthy. I can't wait to watch her grow up. Batsong taught me that I actually enjoy being a mother." She nuzzled her kit affectionately, heart still breaking everytime she saw the other 4 bodies, but she had to move on. As if on cue, Batsong showed up, a cat she had been hoping she would see. "Thank you, Batsong, I think I'll be okay. Her name is Specklekit. I was hoping you would want to meet her. She wouldn't be here if I hadn't been able to know you, after all. Raising you taught me that I actually like being a mother. And now you have a little sister."