Me, Again [Turtlefur, Dewlight]

The full moon had come and gone, and Birdsong... Still hadn't worked up the courage to leave the forest and go exploring with Tornshadow like originally planned. More and more, she found herself wandering near the river, and thoughts of Turtlefur were a constant. He was a friend, there was nothing wrong with thinking of a friend... Right?

The former Skyclanner padded along the river, keeping to the borders as she padded from the direction of Windclan and the treacherous gorge that separated them from Riverclan. She'd found Turtlefur's farm and had done some wandering... But she couldn't shake the feeling of loneliness. As terrible as Skyclan had been, she'd never felt quite this alone even there. She had Tornshadow, yes, but... Being able to have a conversation without bitterness, without reminders of what she'd left behind, was tantalising.

The fresh scent of Riverclan caught Birdsong's nose, and she turned, soft green eyes scanning the reeds. She wasn't chipping to see a flash of familiar brown tabby and white fur... Not at all.

"Turtlefur?" Okay, maybe she was. Her voice was quiet, she didn't want to attract any more attention than necessary.

Things were becoming stressful in camp. The more days that passed without Ivystar returning home, the more the queens and elders whispered about some horrible event that was yet unknown to the Clan. Turtlefur took to patrolling the outskirts more in hopes of catching a scent trail that might lead to Ivystar’s whereabouts. That’s what his told his Clanmates, anyway; the truth was far more complicated. He did want to find her somehow, but he was also worried about unseen dangers lurking in their territory… and the threat they could pose to Birdsong if she came back unaware.

When her soft gray fur flashed between cattails on the other side of the river one day, he was in the water and kicking himself to the other side in heartbeats. “Birdsong!” Turtlefur called quietly as he set his paws on dry land. “You came back! I… didn’t think you would. Are you alright? Has there been trouble?” Anxiety rolled off of him in waves, and his amber eyes darted around at their surroundings.

Birdsong glanced around, finally spotting Turtlefur as he slipped into the water and made his way toward her. It must've been uncomfortable, though Birdsong had never been one for swimming to confidently say either way.

"Hey, isn't that water freezing?" She grinned at Turtlefur's appearance, though it quickly faded upon the realization of just how tense he was. "Are things okay? You look tense."

He paused and took a deep breath. The tension in his neck and shoulders remained, though looking at her concerned expression made his worried eyes soften. She seemed to have no idea that anything was wrong—a good sign. “Sorry. I’m… okay. No, not really. Ivystar-” Turtlefur halted mid sentence to take another fearful glance around. Even though no Clanmates or strangers could be seen, he still leaned in closer. “Ivystar’s gone! No one’s seen her for days. We can’t find a scent trail or paw prints or anything, she’s just… gone.”

His shoulders sagged and he looked down at his wet paws in distress. “I don’t even remember when I saw her last. I mean, I remember seeing her, just not when or what she was doing. I keep thinking about those dogs and worrying that… except I haven’t smelled or heard any dogs around since they all left. I’m glad you’re still okay, Birdsong. If you came here while something was out here, I-I’d… I don’t know, I’d do something crazy.” Turtlefur felt like he was confessing some secret sin. But it was wrong to not be worried for another cat’s safety, wasn’t it? He looked back at her kind green eyes and relaxed a little bit more. She was here, in front of him, and not in any danger.

"Gone?" Birdsong mewed, surprise evident in her tone, "That's not good... I don't know how Ivystar runs things in Riverclan, but Wolfstar was often scarce. He never just... outright disappeared, though." If it had been more than a few days with no trace of her at all... Maybe Riverclan would get lucky and she would turn up. Maybe.

"Thanks, Turtle, I-" She huffed, fur feeling suddenly warm. "I almost miss being in a clan. As crazy as things were in Skyclan, we always had each other's backs." And, all things considered, it still hadn't been as lonely. "I suppose I've been lucky not to run into anything particularly nasty so far." She admitted.

He was becoming less on edge, nodding along as she talked about missing her clan. “I can’t imagine what it’s like. I’m glad you have Tornshadow with you.” Turtlefur meowed. He had been jealous of her momentarily, but after Birdsong explained their relation last time they met, he could honestly say her presence was a relief. Even more so now that his leader was missing.

“I hope I’m good enough company,” Turtlefur smiled sheepishly. He was feeling a bit silly now, having stewed in anxiety over the last few days for nothing. “I almost wish I could bring some friends to meet you. I’m sure you’d all get along. You’re so nice and calm, and they could use some of that calmness right now. So could I, but just talking to you helps.”

"Just talking to who?" Dewlight's voice called out over the river. She had seen Turtlefur swimming across the river from a distance, and had followed to make sure everything was okay. With how cold the water was getting, it could be dangerous to just swim without reason. As she finished swimming to the far side, taking a moment to shake out her pelt, she had heard him talking to... Someone. Someone nice and calm, apparently. She lifted her gaze to the other cat, her eyes curious and cautious, but not outright hostile as she looked over the other she-cat before turning to Turtlefur. "What's going on here?" She asked, her eyes focusing on both of the cats in front of her.

Birdsong felt her pelt warm at Turtlefur's comments, "You-" She began, the hint of a smile forming at the edges of her maw, then cut herself off, eyes widening slightly at the sound of a voice that was very much not Turtlefur's. It didn't take long for the owner of said voice to appear, a sleek gray she-cat. Riverclan, by scent. Birdsong bristled, though from her stance it was clear that the last thing she wanted was a fight.

Foxdung. Being found out was bound to happen eventually... She really should have known. And been more careful.

Birdsong shuffled her paws, eyeing the unknown she-cat warily. "We were just talking." She mewed, voice strangely defensive. Why was she defensive? It was the truth! Birdsong took a breath, trying to calm her emotions before she spoke again, "Really, I don't wish to fight. I was... passing through and... Turtlefur's a friend." If Tornshadow could hear her right now, she was sure she'd get her ears boxed off.

Turtlefur’s head whipped to the source of the voice, and when he saw Dewlight standing before him, his amber eyes widened in shock and fear. He instinctively took a few steps back to distance himself from both she-cats and lowered his eyes to the ground. “Dewlight! I-I wasn’t…” Birdsong was explaining the situation in as positive a light she could spin it, but it was still lackluster. “Yeah, we’re friends. We met a long time ago. She’s not SkyClan anymore!” He blurted out, skipping important parts of the story in his panic. His eyes remained trained on the ground, an inexplicable sense of shame heating his still-wet pelt.

The she-cat was defensive, and Dewlight's head tilted. "Who said anything about fighting?" She murmured softly, looking to Turtlefur as he spoke up from where he had taken a few steps back. "You weren't what? SkyClan?" She echoed as Turtlefur began to blurt statements. She looked between the two for a long moment before sighing. "Great StarClan, both of you relax. I'm not here to fight anyone, unless you're a threat, in which case I will shred you for threatening my clanmate. Friends are fine, but it almost seems as though there's more than that going on here. You said she's not SkyClan anymore? I take it that means she was initially from SkyClan and left." She mewed thoughtfully, thinking of Tornshadow. Did this cat maybe know her? "So do you regularly meet here?" She asked, sitting down to wait for the answer.

Birdsong winced internally at Turtlefur's words and those of the gray warrior. "Yes." Birdsong muttered with an uncharacteristic frown. "I didn't care to be in a clan of bloodthirsty warmongers and lying medicine cats, so I left." She just hoped that the she-cat wouldn't pry more than that, regarding Skyclan. She didn't want to acknowledge just what that medicine cat had lied about.

"We're friends. We've only met a few times out here, though. I try and stick to the borders and not linger any more than I have to but... It's nice having someone to talk to again." She mewed, sitting now that it seemed the she-cat wasn't planning on attacking her. She seemed like a straightforward sort, Birdsong could deal with that. "My name's Birdsong." She added.

He’d said so little and yet too much. He glanced between the she-cats, hesitantly lifting his head at Dewlight’s calming words. “Of course,” He responded nervously to his deputy’s reassurance that her only interest was in protecting her Clanmates. “We are close, admittedly. It’s been good to have someone who just wants to get on with life instead of being sad all the time. We’ve both… had a lot to deal with lately. I didn’t want to burden our Clanmates. StarClan knows we need currents of change in RiverClan, and I think Birdsong is a valuable… ally.”

Turtlefur was partially convincing himself that it was okay to talk about RiverClan’s struggles with an outsider and partially lifting the weight of his guilt off his chest. Confessing usually made him feel better. Relief was already soothing his rapid heartbeat. Of course he thought of the soft gray she-cat as more than an ally. A friend, at the very least, but could be say more than that? Could he admit that he sometimes wished Birdsong had been born in RiverClan, so that his desire to spend more time with her stopped feeling wrong? “I’m worried about leafbare, with the cold weather coming up. And the lack of prey,” Turtlefur added, looking back at Birdsong with concern softening his amber eyes. “I can’t imagine not having a Clan to look out for you.”

Dewlight nodded once at Birdaong's response, recognizing that the she-cat didn't want to indulge more information. It wasn't her place to press for more, so she let it go. She listened patiently at her explanation, followed by Turtlefur's comments. She looked between the two of them a couple times before she sighed, smiling slightly. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Birdsong. And I say that sincerely. My name is Dewlight, I'm the deputy of RiverClan... And the current acting leader. Turtlefur is right, RiverClan needs all the allies we can get... And leaf-bare is always harsh, even on the most experienced warriors." Her gaze flickered over to Birdsong, looking her over briefly. "Having been from another clan, I'm sure you likely heard about RiverClan's struggles this Greenleaf, with the twolegs and their dogs. We lost a lot of prey, and warriors, to them... And now we find ourselves short-pawed. If... If you're interested, and provided Turtlefur will vouch for you, I would be willing to give you a chance to join RiverClan.... Again, only if you are interested." She mewed. "Now, I make no promises - it won't be easy. As I said, we are already short on prey following greenleaf, and it hasn't gotten any better as we head into leaf-bare. But we would welcome you into our clan, and give you a chance to be a RiverClan warrior." She mewed, gazing at Birdsong.

Well this certainly hadn't been how Birdsong had expected today to go. The she-cat, Dewlight, was willing to offer to let her join Riverclan, just like that? They truly must have been in dire straits, then. But... To have a clan again and not be on her own any longer... How could she refuse that? "Being on my own... Well, it sucked, to be honest. The only good was that I had my cousin Tornshadow with me." She'd grown to miss the structure of being in a clan and having other cats around. And Tornshadow, as much as Birdsong enjoyed her company, couldn't replace that as much as they tried.

"I'd heard a little. Even from the Skyclan border we could hear and smell them. I can't imagine what it was like to have them all over the territory. And with leafbare approaching it's not like the prey would've had much chance to recover." She mewed. From what Dewlight had said, it sounded like Riverclan could use a few able-bodied hunters, particularly ones who were good at catching things that weren't fish. The river would freeze when it got cold enough, wouldn't it? She glanced over at Turtlefur, "It sounds like you could use another able-bodied hunter as much as I'm tired of the loner life. If you'll have me, I'd like to stay." She thought Turtlefur would vouch for her, and the thought of being in a clan again was an exciting one, oddly enough.

"I... yes! I would gladly speak for her. I know she's trustworthy. We won't let you down, Dewlight." Turtlefur was as shocked as Birdsong seemed to be, and he could feel a growing giddiness building in his chest. His emotions had gone all over the place in this one meeting alone, and soothing relief was beginning to replace the hot anxiety pricking at his paw pads in spite of the cold winds. He couldn't have guessed the way these past few days had gone. What a change in pace. Maybe things are looking up for all of us.

Turtlefur smiled sheepishly at Birdsong and took a few hesitant steps closer to her. "Birdsong, a RiverClan warrior! I think it'll go great. I'll teach you to swim and how to break the ice when the river freezes over. And you can meet Cloverheart if you haven't yet. She's not like Beechface at all." He purred, still having a hard time believing it was real. He flashed a grateful look to Dewlight. Her kindness in listening to them and not jumping to conclusions... how she was so interested in helping rather than being defensive... it was something he looked up to. His deputy was admirable, and he was willing to pay her back however necessary, even if it meant acting like a mentor to an adult cat. Well, he wasn't that bothered about spending more time with Birdsong without the threat of getting in trouble.