You Again [Turtlefur]

The leaf-fall air made Birdsong shiver slightly as she padded along the riverbed, careful to stay as much on the border between Riverclan and the other clans as possible. She was heading away from Skyclan, now passing through Thunderclan's section of border, but she still had little desire to linger. Skyclan had been home once, but no longer was that true, and she'd left the clans for good.

Only, not really, she still roamed their territories, didn't she? It was all she knew, after all. The thought of it was frustrating, and yet... She couldn't quite seem to make herself leave the forest behind entirely. She'd told Tornshadow she wanted to explore what lay beyond the territories... And yet something kept her paws from following through.

Her ears swiveled towards the rustle of the reeds nearby, and the loner paused, lifting her head to scan the undergrowth. The scent wafting towards her on the wind was Riverclan, and vaguely familiar.

"Hello?" She mewed, tone soft, cautious. She had no desire to be involved in a fight today, hopefully it would be obvious in how her scent never strayed from the border itself.

Turtlefur shook the excess water from his fur like the dogs on his old farm used to do. Finally those blasted dogs were gone, and finally he could patrol the territory without needing to look over his shoulder constantly. Except… he still did. The scars that stretched across his back and sides, still pink and tender, were a harsh reminder of what happened when he let his guard down. The bobtailed tom still treaded cautiously in his own territory, which is why he went to investigate immediately when an unexpected scent wafted near the border beyond the river.

He peered through the reeds, crouched low, though he couldn’t avoid displacing a few of the stalks. A gray tabby pelt came into view, and the broad head of a cat turned in his direction. He froze, not because he’d been located, but because he knew this cat.

“Birdsong?” He called quietly. WindClan had been ambushed by SkyClan only a few moons ago… was RiverClan’s secret weakness discovered? But he didn’t want to believe it. Turtlefur couldn’t say he knew the she-cat very well, but scouting their territory? He wouldn’t accept it. After a wary glance around to see if there were others, he padded into the open. “What are you doing here?” The tom’s tone was still hushed. He didn’t want to alert other RiverClan patrols even though they weren’t due to be around here til later.

The cat padded toward her through the reeds, and Birdsong remained wary. She wasn't met with claws however, and the tension in her shoulders eased slightly at the familiar voice that greeted her. "Turtlefur?" Birdsong mewed, hoping that she'd gotten the name right. Now that he was closer, she recognized him from gatherings more clearly. He hadn't been fond of the festering tensions, either.

"Just passing through." She mewed, following the tom's lead and keeping her voice down. From what she'd been able to tell, the twolegs and their dogs seemed to be gone, but there was no reason to invite trouble. "I... left Skyclan. Got sick of the constant fighting and drama." Not the only reason, mind, but as far as Birdsong was concerned, Beechface had never been a mother no matter what she claimed, and she had little desire to associate with lying foxhearts.

His ears pricked. He was glad she remembered his name, though he wasn’t sure why. Her news was a shock. “You left?” Turtlefur echoed, head tilting and brows furrowing. It wasn’t that strange he supposed; he’d left RiverClan for a short time, although it hadn’t been his choice when the twolegs snatched him up. And the drama? “Well, I don’t blame you if you didn’t want to be there anymore. They’re not very well-liked in the forest… SkyClan has a lot going on, then?” It was a silly question, really. They presumably still had that whole Dawnhawk situation, and of course their never ending rivalry with WindClan, and their leadership seemed sort of angry and ruthless.

“Are you doing okay? Being away from a Clan has to be hard. Do you need… food or anything?” As a kittypet, food and shelter had been provided in surplus, but as a rogue, there was no doubt Birdsong had to be struggling. It was getting colder and prey was going to be scarce soon. Turtlefur felt guilty at the idea of letting any cat go hungry.

"When do they not?" She asked, her question rhetorical more than anything, "Bunch of hypocrites, too." A brief frown crossed her expression and she shook her head. The knowledge that Beechface and Wrenspring had so callously shared hung over her, though she wished very much that she could ignore it. Running hadn't exactly helped with that, but at least she could say she wasn't complicit in whatever war Skyclan mongered for now.

"Yeah... Hunting has been more difficult on my own." She had grown thinner, and knew that as the days grew colder, prey would be harder to come by. "How has Riverclan fared?" She hadn't dared venture close to the border while the dogs were around, and she couldn't imagine how difficult it must have been being cut off from their main source of prey.

He grimaced, feeling sympathy for the warrior—or rogue, he supposed, though that word sounded so dangerous and she seemed more sad than anything else. “I’m sorry. It must be upsetting to feel like you can’t believe the cats you’re supposed to be able to trust.” Turtlefur’s voice was still quiet, but now there was an edge of sadness to it. He trusted Ivystar completely; she had given him a second chance when he thought he didn’t deserve it, and she’d always looked out for RiverClan’s best interest.

The warrior couldn’t imagine feeling suspicious about his Clanmates. Of course issues like you said you’d cover my guard shift and then ran off and I told the deputy moons ago my apprentice was ready for her ceremony popped up, but to outright leave? Something serious must have happened. Turtlefur didn’t know whether to ask more or not. There was something deeper, but… he didn’t know her well enough.

He settled for flicking his short tail in an invitation to follow. “I’m sure we didn’t do a great job of hiding the dogs and twolegs on our territory. None of us got too badly hurt, but we couldn’t hunt for moons without some slobbering beast crashing through our reeds and trying to take our heads off. They’re gone now, but our rivers are overfished, they left foul-smelling rubbish all over our territory, and it’s been hard to accept that they’re really gone. I… I have a hard time being outside camp alone.” Turtlefur admitted as he led Birdsong through the reeds. Was he saying too much? If she was no longer with an enemy Clan, could she really do any harm?

He settled into a spot on the bank and flicked his ears expectantly. The area was neatly concealed with reeds, and the shallows were far slower than the powerful currents of the center of the river. Good for fishing, he decided, after making certain no Clanmates could spot him helping an outsider. Turtlefur stared intently into the water. “Look,” He whispered and slowly extended his paw towards the surface. “See those little fish? Daces and a couple of chubs. If you put a toe in the water… and wait for one to mistake your claw for a bug…” Turtlefur’s whisper was becoming slower. He was clearly becoming absorbed in his hunt, eyes following the circular swimming of his prey, claw extending as quick as a bug landing in the shallows.

And in one sudden movement, his white paw plunged into the water and scooped up a fish, throwing it onto the bank in one fluid movement. He buried his fangs into its neck until its pitiful flopping stopped. Turtlefur smiled brightly with it still in his teeth. He had missed fishing and the fresh, oily flavor of his favorite prey. Setting down his fresh-kill at Birdsong’s paws, he meowed, “Go on, have it. It’s good. You can pay me back by helping me catch more.”

-3 sp. 137/140

The member 'Samhain Sun' has done the following action : Dices roll

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'Hunting Dice' : 1

"I thought I could always trust my parents, too. That just makes it worse." She sighed, not for the first time wishing that they'd never told her the truth. Ignorance had been bliss. "It feels like everyone knew the truth except for me and my sister. And they only bothered to tell the truth when my father was on his death-nest." It had been unbelievably selfish, and Birdsong had never thought of Wrenspring or Beechface as that before.

She gave her head a small shake and sighed, "Sorry, I... Don't mean to dump my problems onto you." She paused as Turtlefur began walking, the invitation to follow not going unnoticed. After a moment's hesitation, she joined him, making sure to keep well back from the water's edge to avoid interfering with his hunting... Fishing, rather. "The creek in Skyclan territory was always too shallow to have much fish. Attracted all the other prey, though." She murmured softly, eyeing the tom's careful movements. She had to admit, she was curious about how Riverclan managed. "We could smell the dogs sometimes, on Skyclan's stretch of the border." No longer was it 'our' stretch of the border, "I'm glad nobody was seriously hurt. The river's prey will rebound in time, just like the forest did after the fire." Maybe it would be reassuring, maybe not. Leafbare was approaching, and Birdsong knew little about what Riverclan did when the waters froze over. "After the Asylum finally left, we were all wary of being watched. The freedom their leaving brought was wonderful, though a lot of us had similar anxieties. Took me a while to get used to actually, I was born during their occupation. It felt strange to not have weird cats shadowing my every movement." Beechface had worn that anxiety on her pelt, always tense, always alert. Birdsong had thought at the time it was just that, but it was her personality, too.

Turtlefur's paw suddenly plunged beneath the surface of the water, a fish sent arcing onto the bank beside them. Birdsong watched in awe as it was quickly killed, the tom grinning up at her with the fish dangling from his jaws. "Nice catch," She couldn't help a smile.

For her? "Are you sure?" She asked, "I don't want to take fresh kill from your clan when they still need it." Still, she had to admit she was curious to see how it tasted... Skyclan didn't fish, after all. Birdsong sniffed at the prey, curiosity winning out over her reluctance for the moment. She poked a claw at it, finding the scales to be slippery but easily pulled away from the fish. Not quite like plucking feathers from a bird, though. Gingerly, Birdsong took a bite, carefully avoid the tiny bones within. In that way the fish wasn't so different from birds, but that was where the similarity ended.

"Huh, it's... Different." She mewed, swallowing. The fish was oily, and the flavor was very different and a bit stronger than what she was used to, but it wasn't unpleasant. "Not bad, actually."

‘Oh stars, family problems.’ Turtlefur winced inwardly. He no longer had living immediate relatives, but when he did, it was frustrating to get into arguments over dumb things. He had a feeling that Birdsong’s situation was different, though. Some sort of lie being revealed… He nodded encouragingly when she asked if he was sure she could have the fish, and his claws pricked at the muddy bank nervously as she inspected the fish. “You’re right. The river will recover with time, and so will RiverClan. But you don’t have a Clan anymore. I won’t let you go hungry if I can help it.” He could feed her today, but could he keep giving away prey? Turtlefur was more anxious about it than he admitted.

Well… there was something that could help… “I wasn’t around for the Asylum occupation,” Turtlefur confessed, gazing out into the water. Birdsong might think he was a coward for what he was about to say, and it brought him shame. “I was a young apprentice. One day I got stolen by twolegs and I ended up living on a farm for a couple of seasons… just long enough to miss the Asylum. When I came back to RiverClan, my family was dead and my Clan was hurting so badly. Sometimes I… I wish… I’d been there, too. I couldn’t have stopped anything from happening, but I could have—” Turtlefur stopped. He couldn’t have done anything. It was guilt, really, that he hadn’t deserved to live a lavish life as a farm cat while his Clanmates were beaten and starved and killed.

The point was getting away from him. He glanced back at her, embarrassment clear in his eyes. “Sorry, um, I guess the reason I’m telling you is because there’s a farm just on the edge of RiverClan territory. They have dogs, but they’re not like the ones that were on our land. They’re more like guards for the livestock. There’s a barn and the twolegs on the farm provide food, but they also like it when you hunt the things that eat their plants. They’ve got lots of mice and rats in the barn and rabbits and birds in the fields, if that’s more what you like.”

Heat was growing in his pelt. He never thought he’d recommend barn living to any cat after he returned to RiverClan. Turtlefur was growing confused. Was he doing the right thing? But how could it be wrong to help another cat get to safety? “But I can still bring you fish now and then if you like it.”

"Twolegs? I can't imagine... At least you managed to get away from them eventually." She responded, "I understand wishing there was something you could have done. I suppose there's a silver lining in not being present for it... I would never have wanted anyone to go through what some of my former clanmates did at the Asylum's claws, either. Even when I left it was such a regular topic of conversation." Those scars ran deep, and she didn't know if some of them would ever truly heal from what had happened.

"That's really generous... Thank you." She mewed softly, taking another bite of fish. The taste really wasn't as terrible as some of the older Skyclanners had made it out to be. If the barn was as he said, it would make for a decent place to stay during the colder season... Certainly better than trying to compete with clan cats or the vicious rogues that prowled twolegplace for food.

Food... She should probably try to catch something to make up for the fish he'd given her. He'd done that out of nothing more than simple generosity, something Birdsong hadn't been used to even within Skyclan. Birdsong turned her gaze toward the river, carefully stretching out a paw as she attempted to emulate Turtlefur's movement, being careful that her shadow didn't fall across the water as she extended a claw. Fish darted beneath the surface, silvery forms harder to discern as the water refracted light. After a few moments of waiting, there was the slightest brush of movement against her claw, and Birdsong flicked her paw, curling it towards her to hook the fish and send it arcing onto the bank between her and Turtlefur. Once it was on land, Birdsong was more confident in sinking her teeth into the creature. The silvery-scaled fish she'd caught was a bit smaller than the one Turtlefur had, but she nudged it towards him all the same. "I figure I owe you a few." She grinned.

He nodded along, soaking in her words like rain dripping through his pelt. RiverClan talked a lot about the Asylum, too, and perhaps that revived the guilt over and over again. Turtlefur’s ears twitched as if he could shake away the embarrassment of receiving a compliment. He didn’t respond. He didn’t know how. Instead his eyes drifted off towards the river once more.

His attention was caught by the slow stretch of her paw over the water. Turtlefur watched with interest, pleased to see how quickly she’d picked up his form, and stepped away when the fish went flying onto the bank. “Ahaha! That was great!” The warrior cheered with a wide smile. Birdsong’s grin reminded him of Flypaw catching prey for the first time. He dipped his head and nosed it farther up along the bank. “One of our queens is due any day. I think she’ll appreciate that. You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to, but… I mean if you want to, then you definitely can stay! I mean, I don’t not want you too, I-I…” Oh, frog legs… Turtlefur was making a stuttering fool of himself, which is exactly why he didn’t talk to mollies very often. “Erm... I would like you to stay for a little bit. It’s nice to talk to someone from outside RiverClan. We can be so grim sometimes, and I could use help catching more fish.”

"Thank you, I wasn't sure I'd actually catch it." Birdsong's pelt warmed under the praise, a grin spreading across her features. For a moment she felt like an apprentice again, thrilled to show off her first catch to Ravenclaw. Her mother had been so proud of her, too. "I hope she enjoys it, then." Kits were a blessing, she hoped whoever the queen was knew that. They ought to be loved and cherished... Not lied to and made to live something that was a lie.

Then Turtlefur spoke again, and Birdsong blinked at him in surprise, eyes widening slightly. Stay for a little while? "I miss just having someone to talk to." She admitted, "I have Tornshadow, but other than that it's lonely." The worry that someone might stumble upon them faint and quickly slipping to the back of her mind. "I know what you mean, we can't be all grim and bitter all the time. I don't know how some manage that, it must be exhausting, even after everything." She mewed, carefully extending her paw towards the water again. She was more than happy to help him catch a few more fish, it was the least she could do. The faint brush of movement against her claws alerted her to a fish, and she pulled it out of the water, and this time Birdsong's technique was a bit cleaner. She debated hunting a bird or squirrel, but doing so meant leaving her comfortable position and meant not talking. There was something oddly relaxing about fishing compared to racing through the trees after other prey.

“Tornshadow?” Turtlefur couldn’t keep the surprise out of his tone, but he was able to bury the… what was it? Something like disappointment? His white paw had frozen over the calm surface of the shallows, where he was about to add more to the pair’s collection of fish. The name sounded somewhat familiar, but he’d never bothered to learn many SkyClan names besides their leadership. And Birdsong’s, of course. It was too pretty to forget. Turtlefur stole a glance towards the gray she-cat and then dipped his paw in the water. “So you’re not alone. That’s good, I guess.”

He swiped up another fish in a blink and bit into it. It was a good excuse to not allow himself to ask questions like so you’re with him then? and does he know how to catch fish for you? Setting it aside with the rest of the fresh-kill, Turtlefur took a moment to collect his thoughts by wiping his whiskers with a large paw. “My friend, Bearspirit, is the queen’s mate. I’m really excited for them, of course, but we don’t talk much anymore. I feel a bit pushed aside… My other friend is the medicine cat, Cloverheart. She’s always busy.” The tomcat grinned, amused at the memory brought up in his mind. “I pulled your former Clanmate off her at that Gathering a few moons back. I thought Ivystar would have the rest of my tail for that!”

"My cousin. May as well be my sister." Birdsong mewed, "Skyclan hated her just for who her father was, I could never understand why when she wasn't the one responsible for his actions. It made leaving easier honestly, knowing that she was already out."

"Still... It's lonely with just the two of us." She listened to him speak, tail absent-mindedly curling over her paws. She wasn't the only one lonely, it seemed, she could sympathize. "I know the feeling... Clanmates and friends being busy is tough. I didn't think it was possible to feel alone in a clan but Skyclan managed it. I wasn't a warmonger and didn't enjoy fighting." And then something Turtlefur said stuck out to her. Pulled her former clanmate off of a medicine cat? At a gathering? But they were supposed to be peaceful! Was even the truce no longer sacred to these cats? "Someone attacked a medicine cat at a gathering? What happened? Who would do that?" Only... She could think of several different 'who's. Skyclan's own medicine cat included. Birdsong recalled how she'd killed Lilacstar almost effortlessly with a shudder.

Ok, Tornshadow was a relative and not a rival… for Birdsong’s friendship, that is. Mentally Turtlefur scolded himself for jumping to conclusions, but outwardly, his shoulders relaxed and his short tail flicked behind him. Until she looked at him with shock after his story. Then Turtlefur was cursing himself for bringing up the topic.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you weren’t there…” He stuttered, turning back to her. Oh, stars, what a mess. “The Gathering after SkyClan ambushed WindClan, none of the leaders involved would say anything about it. Wolfstar didn’t show up… Lilacstar couldn’t speak. She just went silent. Daystar—Dayspring at the time—had to speak for her from the ground. Bloodstrike was right next to Lilacstar up there, and h-he… he broke Dayspring’s legs at the battle. Wolfstar mauled Cloverheart, too. Flypaw was hurt… my apprentice…” Guilt and grief clouded his mind. The stories his Clanmates told were sending shivers down his spine. He hadn’t been there. Again, he hadn’t been there.

Sniffling a little, he breathed deeply and exhaled. “Well, Ivystar didn’t say anything, either. Cloverheart was real mad about it. She stood up and started yowling about the things they did to us. Bloodstrike just looked down at her like she was a mouse in his claws, it was horrible. Then he told the forest that WindClan had been hiding Dawnhawk, but that wasn’t what caused the problem. A SkyClan apprentice… brown tabby, a she-cat, probably almost a warrior… she clawed the medicine cat’s face! In the middle of the Gathering!”

His eyes were unfocused as he recalled the events. His tone was filled with fresh horror and fear, remembering StarClan’s judgement that night. When Turtlefur spoke again, his voice was just above a whisper. “I was right there. I was jumpy, everyone was—I grabbed the apprentice by the scruff and pulled her away from Cloverheart. Then StarClan sent a bolt of lightning down. I didn’t even see it. I was looking at the she-cat. Then there was this horrible creaking noise and… and… part of one of the Great Oaks came crashing down, right in the middle of the clearing. It was on fire and the rain from the clouds above put it out, but-“

Turtlefur cut himself off again. He looked into Birdsong’s eyes, debating whether to say it all or not. What if she was worried? What if she felt bad and ran back to SkyClan? He couldn’t visit her. He couldn’t fish with her. She might even blame him for being involved in the fight. But looking into her gaze drew a terrible guilt in his chest that made breathing painful. “Beechface was in that tree. She got struck by lightning.”