to sleep perchance to dream (solo)

Having vivid dreams was nowhere near unusual for Graybird. It was something that made her safe. At the end of a strenuous day, the only thing that managed to bring the she-cat comfort was knowing what was waiting for her when she collapsed into the warmth of her nest in the warriors’ den and shut her eyes. Tonight was no different. She had spent quite a bit of time out of camp from dawn to dusk, looking for prey under any tree shadow she could find, so it was only to her relief that she finally had the opportunity to get a bit of rest. She rested her head on the outline of her paws that she could make out in the midst of the darkness of the night. She could feel a sense of longing tugging at her chest... a longing to say goodbye. She quickly shook her head to clear away those thoughts. She had already said her goodnights to those that she knew and loved, and she would see them in the morning. The slightest of sighs escaped her jaw before she gave her senses away to the control of slumber.

The last time that Graybird had seen any sight that even remotely resembled the starry plains in StarClan's hunting grounds was during the end of her apprenticeship. Her trip to the Moonstone had been brief, but the scenery was something that she certainly would never be able to forget. Therefore, when she slowly opened her eyes, the seemingly endless stretch of starlit ground was enough to shock her. She quietly lifted her head, taking a moment to process where she was. There was no doubt that this was one of the places where StarClan's ranks resided, but why exactly was she here?

"Hello?" She immediately called out as she rose to her paws.
No response... but that was only to be expected.

Perhaps this wasn't StarClan at all, but just an imitation that her mind had created from her memories at the Moonstone. Curiously, and without a clue of where she was going, Graybird began to pad forward. The feeling of longing was beginning to claw at her neck again, almost to the point that she felt ill. She wasn't used to feeling this tense in a dream, and that was enough to tell her that something wasn't right.

That's enough... I want to wake up now.
However, nothing changed.

No matter how many times she blinked or furiously shook her head, the scenery refused to budge. Everything stayed the exact same. The she-cat felt her heart begin to race as she sped up her walking pace to a full-on sprint. She was the type of cat who needed an answer or an explanation for absolutely everything, but it was to her absolute dismay that she couldn't think of any sort of logical way to justify this. The plains seemed to stretch on further than her eye could see, and running for moons and moons wouldn't benefit her in the slightest.

I'll wait it out... it's just a dream, after all. I'll have no choice but to wake up sooner or later. Graybird thought, bringing herself to an abrupt halt.

It was nerve-wracking, to say the least, to simply sit and watch as time passed by. The only source of comfort seemed to be from the warm light of the fireflies that lined the clearing like a sea of infinite yellow stars. She could feel her heartbeat slowly return to normal as she took slow and steady breaths. There was no use in tiring herself out if she would be here for a while.

Back in the living world, in the darkness of the warriors' den, Graybird's body had become eerily cold and still. There was no longer a slight rise and fall of her shoulders to indicate that she was alive and breathing. In fact, her heart refused to beat. Her amber eyes had closed for the last time, and would unfortunately never see the light of day again.

The she-cat began to grow restless. Although it had only been a few heartbeats, it felt as if she had been sitting there for moons. A slight chill seemed to go down her spine from top to bottom in that very instant, strong enough to get her to rise to her paws once again. That was when she noticed them... her paws. They seemed to hold dozens of stars. It reminded her faintly of the appearance of Goldengale, the StarClan cat that she had spoken to during her Moonstone trip. Any other time, Graybird would've admired the sight, but only StarClan cats were adorned with such stars, so why exactly did she have them? That was when a haunting idea hit her so harshly that she couldn't help but tremble.

She was dead.

That couldn't be right. There was still supposed to be so much life ahead of her, so much time to learn and teach as much as possible. On top of all that, she had a living, breathing family that she hadn't even had the opportunity to say goodbye to. They would wake up to discover the fact that she would never be able to speak another word to them until it was their turn to join her up here. She could practically feel the force of her heart shattering into the smallest of pieces. She lowered her head, shutting her eyes tight enough to allow a couple of tears to escape. Death was unfair, she had known that for the longest time, but she had never once imagined that something like this would happen to her. Was she being punished? As far as she knew, she hadn't done anything worth being punished over.

As usual, she had an abundance of questions, but this time she knew that she wouldn't be getting any answers. She started padding forward once again with heavy steps and an even heavier heart.

I'll miss you, father. Graybird thought, shaking her head slightly, Please be okay... please don't miss me too much. StarClan cats can watch over the living, and I have no idea what I would do if I had to watch you grieve.

There was nothing more to say.

For the first time, Graybird forced herself to accept that there were no more answers.