seeking salvation [c]

[direct followup to this topic]

The more distance Thalia gained from WindClan's camp, the less panicked she was; drawing closer to Asylum's camp. Asylum was safety, Asylum was home; the place where cats that didn't want her dead for the unforgivable crime of daring to live resided.

Still, she didn't lose pace, the voice of her friend calling for her death ringing in her mind even as she stepped into the place that had always been her safe haven. To those who knew her, the fox-fur that covered her now was a clear sign that something was wrong; she only wore it when she needed a hiding place; but today her desperation was entirely unveiled, voice ringing out through the camp. "Roe! Roe! Sacred stars, tell me he's here and not out somewhere," she muttered to herself, before shouting again. She had thought, briefly, about calling for Theron - certainly her captain would have something to say about all this - but she wasn't sure that was a good idea, all things considered, and she wasn't nearly as close to her as she was to Roe. Besides, Roe was the most likely of the higher-ranking Nightstrikers to understand how she felt now, to know why she was panicked and hurt. "Roe! Everything - everything's wrong, I - I need someone to help... Please!"

"...Thalia?" Roe perked up from where he was curled up in the Nightstriker's den, hearing the voice of his dear friend calling out to him. Normally, it would have filled him with joy that she was stopping by...But he could hear the stress in her voice, the terror and heartbreak. Something had happened. Something bad. He quickly pushed himself to his paws, stepping out into the light as she was going on about everything being wrong and needing help. "Thalia, what is-?" he cut himself off as he saw that her fox pelt was thrown over her, eyes widening as he picked up the pace and approached. In one smooth motion he raised a paw, wrapped it around her and drew her close, plopping his head on top of her fox-covered one. "Thalia, shhhhh," he murmured softly. "Take in deep breaths, calm yourself and tell me everything that happened once you are ready, alright? Take your time."

"I - I..." Thalia trailed off, doing her best to gather her thoughts as she followed the older Nightstriker's instructions - so much had happened, was happening, might happen; what was important, what could wait? - and realizing that even as Roe drew her in, offering the support she was so desperately searching for, she was still shaking. She'd explained this once, and Roe would understand, right? He wasn't like the WindClan cats, looking for any reason at all to chase her away. She was home here - she was wanted here, she had to try and remember that. "I saw... One of the WindClan cats, she was running out of the camp. So I, I followed her, because- because they're not supposed to go alone, and no one else was following her. And I asked if she was okay, because why wouldn't I, and she - she attacked me," she started, trying her best to be understandable despite her desire to be done this explanation as soon as possible. "So I- I defended myself, because I could deal with them hating me and glaring at me and everything else but that was- it was too much to take. But I couldn't think, and once I could, she was- she was..."

Dead, that little voice in the back of her mind not-so-helpfully finished. As she kept talking, she picked up speed - faster and faster, rushing through the words just to get them over with - until she was entirely breathless once again. "She was dead, and I carried her back to the camp and I tried to explain what happened... No one would listen! Except- except Pyrik, Pyrik was there, and I- oh, I left him there!" The gravity of the situation seemed to hit her all over again in that moment, that she'd left behind the cat she'd promised to stick together with; that she'd left him to deal with their anger on his own. "But... They were talking about a trial and an execution, they wanted to kill me - I couldn't stay, I couldn't! She didn't deserve to die, of course not... But I can't... And I can't go back. So I ran, and I came to find you, because if anyone would know what I'm supposed to do now... Please. Tell me what to do!"

Roe listened in silence as Thalia started to ramble, saying not a word even as his heart grew heavier with every word. She had tried to do her duty, only to get attacked for it and...Well, she had killed in a moment of panic. She had tried to explain herself but WindClan had refused to listen and... "Oh Thalia," Roe hummed as he rasped his tongue across the top of her head in a sign of comfort. "I'm so sorry that you had to go through it. It... It isn't easy, taking a life. But by accident? And your first, at that? Oh little one..." he shook his head, drawing her closer towards him. "I know you, Thalia and I believe you. You are like me - you wouldn't take a life for any reason. And I'm sure Pyrik will be fine - I can go check on him later if you are still worried, alright?" he said as he drew back a little to meet her gaze, gently cupping one of her ears with his paw as he ruffled the top of her head. "You are also free to stay here - we can maybe see about getting your reassigned to a different Clan once you feel up for it, or maybe you can help keep the camp safe...But I can say for certain that you won't be going back to WindClan. I won't let them lay a claw on you for an accident. I'll speak to Theron about it when I next to see her, I'm sure she will understand," he added.

He tried to give her a smile, but it quickly faded. "...I'm truly sorry for how WindClan treated you. I can't believe they would talk about an execution..." he grimaced, a rare sight - a snarl - starting to tug at the corner of his lips. "As if they are any better. Theron has told me plenty of stories of when they would take the lives of another Clan cat. Do they truly despise us so that they would threaten death for an accident? You had to protect yourself!" He paused, eyes falling onto her cheek. "...Speaking of, we should get that patched up. Is there anything else I can do for you?" he asked, ducking his head to meet her gaze. "I wish I could make this all go away. You deserve so much better, little one. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

A good chunk of Pyrik’s journey was spent stumbling over rocks and tunnels, too focused on staring over his shoulder to watch his step. But WindClan, irate though they were, had chosen to heed their leader’s instructions. The only set of pawprints behind him was his own. He crossed the border, glanced back one more time, and broke into a straight sprint toward home. Thalia was safe, and so was he. But the problem with safety, with the soft, steady drum of his paws against snow, was that it gave him time to think. Thalia couldn’t go back to WindClan. They’d kill her, trial or no trial. Pyrik tripped, caught his breath, kept running. Asylum wouldn’t put their mission on hold for this; Thalia would probably be stationed elsewhere, whether that meant home or one of the other Clans. Which would leave him alone. That thought, which would’ve qualified as merely “daunting” a day ago, wound his stomach into knots. He’d defended Thalia, he’d do it again against that bunch of brutes, but picturing them now, he couldn’t see past the boiling fury in their eyes. Could he go back?

His home’s rugged walls came into view, and Pyrik’s priorities snapped back into place. He didn’t matter right now. Frankly, he didn’t want to matter; he was still too rattled to think that far ahead. As he burst into the camp, kicking up snow, he tossed his fox pelt aside. “Thalia!” There she was, with Roe at her side. Pyrik slumped against one of the stones near the entryway, half-breathless. They really were safe. WindClan wouldn't dare try to hurt them here.

The idea of sneaking off to the Standards’ den without interrupting crossed his mind, but… Lilacsong’s parting words echoed in his ears. He had to say something. Though his chest still ached, he just about ran to meet the two Nightstrikers. “Thalia, I had to tell you, that leader said they’re—they’re not gonna let you come back—” He broke off. The things they’d called Thalia were awful enough in WindClan voices; he wouldn’t make her hear them in a friend’s. Swallowing the anger with considerable effort, Pyrik moved to more important matters. “But—are you okay? I can get moss for those scratches, they look pretty sore…” It occurred to him then that he hadn’t even glanced at Roe, who, though nice, was very much a higher-ranking Nightstriker. “Oh, um.” His voice turned apologetic. How much could he say? Had Thalia already explained? ”I made sure no one followed me…?”

With the support of what may well have been the cat whose judgment she trusted most, Thalia finally relaxed, if only a little. "I don't know..." It was true, she didn't; she had no idea what would help when she'd never been in this position before. Still... She wouldn't have to go back. Roe's words echoed in her mind, she wouldn't have to go back, they wouldn't be able to hurt her - finally, the fox fur slid down to her shoulders again; a source of comfort but no longer a hiding place. "I'll go anywhere, just... Not back there. It's not like they want me around, anyway."

Thalia blinked as a familiar face and voice reached the camp. One she hadn't expected, though it was far from unwelcome. "Pyrik! You followed...? Are you okay? What happened, what did they say to you? I'm sorry I left, I- I couldn't stay... And I guess they agree that I can't go back." They were supposed to be a team, but she'd gone and gotten herself exiled from the territory they were meant to be assigned to. What had she done? "Sorry we couldn't stick together, like we said we would..."

Roe looked up at the sound of pounding pawsteps, a sigh of relief escaping him as Pyrik came rushing in. He loosed his grip on Thalia so she could move away to greet the new arrival, listening carefully as Pyrik outright revealed that Thalia wasn't to return to WindClan in general. Well...That made things slightly more clearcut. He gave Pyrik a small smile as the tom nervously looked at him. "Its no worry, Pyrik. I'm just glad that you are okay with tensions as high as they are," he meowed softly, falling silent as Thalia lamented that they couldn't stick together. "While I know how important sticking with your pack is, I think the most pressing manner is making sure that you - and truly all of our cats stationed in WindClan are safe. Pyrik, how about to stay here tonight? Besides I'm sure Thalia would appreciate your company. I can escort you back to the camp tomorrow. I don't think I can smooth over Thalia's...Incident but I need to check on Nerio and the others. Make sure nothing is going to be done against them," he added, before a sigh escaped him.

What a sticky situation - and he was the only one left to sweep up the pieces as the rest of his pack were out. He was certain he would get an ear full if Theron caught wind of him leaving the camp without Lexine to escort him but he couldn't let Pyrik go back to the camp alone without him having an idea of how WindClan was going to treat the remaining Asylum cats. "Go try to get some rest you two. We can talk further in the morning once most of the shock of the situation has passed. And Thalia?" he meowed, eyes falling onto the young Nightstriker. "Don't blame yourself - you acted on self-defense. Its...Regrettable but you did what you felt you needed. You didn't mean for her to die and... Things will be fine. I'll make sure of it."