good intentions [OPEN]

[a direct followup to this topic]

Thalia hadn't wasted any time at all in returning to WindClan's camp, brushing past her fellow Asylum guards with the lifeless form of a WindClan cat on her back. She took a few steps forward before setting down the body, sitting at its side. The cuts on her face were still dripping blood, but she'd long since stopped noticing or caring about that. She'd never had to call the attention of such a large group before, but... "WindClan! Um, listen to me, please..."

That she was guilty, desperate and ashamed - everything she felt and more - came through clearly in her voice. But today there was no hiding beneath her fox's fur or fleeing the scene. She was afraid - afraid of WindClan, yes, especially after what had just happened; but also afraid of her fellow Asylum cats. Would they believe her, or doubt her simply because of what she was?

Still, she would see this through.

Lilacsong padded up to the young she-cat who had called for them. She was just an apprentice when she had met Thalia, and she had seemed like one of the nicer cats then. Lilacsong would even go as far as to call the nightstriker her friend. So it was with that thought in mind that she prayed to StarClan the scene in front of her was not what it looked like.

"By the stars, not Gingertalon.... Thalia what happened? Were you guys attacked?" She took a tentative step forward before stopping. The wounds they had were not those of a predator, and they carried no scent of another Clan. Whether she wanted to accept it or not, they had been fighting each other. She looked back at Thalia, silently begging her to prove Lilacsong wrong. She was her friend. Thalia was a sweet cat who, from what she knew, hated death. Surely there had to be a reason for this now, right? There had to be...

"You.... You monster!" Downtuft growled, claws unsheathed. Four cats. FOUR CATS. "SHE'S AN INJURED QUEEN!" Rage fueled the ginger tom and he readied himself to spring. "Downtuft, no!" Shyfawn intercepted him, rearing up as a shield. "If you leap now, you'll hurt Gingertalon. It would be disrespectful to injury her body."

That was the truth. Shyfawn hadn't stopped him because she cared about Thalia, but because she cared about her denmate, Gingertalon. Shyfawn purposefully strode past Lilacsong, blinking gently at her. "Tell me, do you Asylum cats enjoy striking down elders? Are you scared to face Warriors? Am I going to be the next cat you kill simply because I'm a queen with creaky bones? WindClan deserves an explanation. If anything, I say we deserve for you to be killed as you killed Gingertalon. But that's not for me to decide. What is for me to decide is that I would like my denmate so that we can prepare her for a vigil." Shyfawn explained calmly, wanting to add or are you so cruel you'll prevent us from doing that?

Without waiting, she approached Thalia, unarmed and not threatening in the least, and very, very gently took Gingertalon's scruff. "Lilacsong, help me carry her.". She called to their leader, not wanting to dirty Gingertalon's body by dragging her.

Downtuft stood his ground, hatred glistening in his green eyes. The message was clear 'hurt Shyfawn in any way and I will kill you'. Shyfawn had been a second mother to much of WindClan, and he and his sister were no exceptions. Shyfawn had cared for them when they had nothing left. He would not let them take her from him. "Gingertalon was brave. Despite her injury, she didn't give up. She embodied WindClan perfectly, she'll be missed greatly. Her death was cruel, unfair, and unnecessary." Downtuft mewed somberly, closing his eyes as he thought of the fiery queen.

Lilacsong shook her head, shame heating her fur, as she helped Shyfawn carry Gingertalon. She had trusted Thalia. And now one of her own was dead. Bringing the deceased queen to the center of camp, she left Gingertalon in Shyfawn's care before turning back to Thalia. She narrowed her eyes as she took in Thalia's wounds. There was barely even a scratch. It looked worse than it was. And that angered Lilacsong even more.

"Gingertalon had no way to defend herself, and you killed her. I had thought you would be the last cat to do such a thing, but the evidence says otherwise. We will hold a trial for you at sundown, and I pray to StarClan you have a valid defense, because as of right now I am inclined to agree with Shyfawn for your death." With a shuttering sigh, she turned to Downtuft. "See to it that she remains isolated in the camp. She cannot be allowed to hurt anyone else."

"Gladly." Downtuft growled. "Our elders den is currently empty aside from Mintflower due to your kind. Will you willingly come or must I drag you like a kit?" Turning away from her for a split second, he bounded over to the Elder's den. "Mintflower, could you please temporarily stay in the nursery? I'll explain everything later." Short explanation done, he turned back to Thalia. "Well? Are you coming or not? You heard Lilacsong. You broke the rules we gave you. This is your punishment. Lilacsong is our leader now, and this is our camp, whatever you might say."

His eyes were like cold green fire, narrowed and vengeful.

Shyfawn nodded gratefully to Lilacsong, and she groomed Gingertalon with gentle delicacy. "It's alright, darling. You run with StarClan now. Everything will be alright for you now. I know how miserable you where after that dog attack, you can rest happily now." Shyfawn's voice was gentle and kind, as she lapped Gingertalon's pelt. Folding the dead queen's legs beneath her, it looked as though Gingertalon was merely sleeping.

Thalia made no effort to move. Not when they started to speak, and not when Shyfawn took Gingertalon - so that was her name, a name she could place to the face of the cat whose life she had stolen away.

(A name to haunt her nightmares.)

Should she live long enough to have them, in any case. They were talking about - about killing her?

(Couldn't they hear themselves?)

Maybe she was a monster, little more than a fox in a cat's skin, but she still understood that no one deserved to die. That someone she had dared to call a friend - among the only cats in this forsaken place she'd come to genuinely like and trust - could say she was deserving of death, even before hearing any kind of explanation?

(She thought she understood her place in this story. But even still... Was it wrong, to want to live?)

"Do you all think so little of me?" she asked, quietly. "No, what am I saying - of course you do! It's all the same, always our fault - always my fault, when I have never tried to hurt any one of you, however much you hated me - because perfect little WindClan is never in the wrong, is that right? You won't even let me tell you what happened before talking about execution!" She was hurt and tired and still so very afraid, and all she wanted was someone familiar to lean on. "So before you get so caught up in stroking your own egos, that you were right about the big bad monsters, there's something you need to understand - but now you won't even let me explain myself!"

Sacred stars forsaken, even I understand that no cat deserves to die!

She half-laughed, half-sobbed, a desperate, choking sound. "Not that it matters to any of you, right? You'll label my words as just more cruel lies, when I have never lied to you. All because I'm not one of you - because I never was, and I never will be - so it doesn't matter! You don't care about the truth, as long as you have something to fight - someone to blame!"

I was defending myself! All I did was ask her if she was okay...

Staring down the gathered cats, there was a spark of something in her eyes - a will to live, despite it all, because she may have been a monster and she may have deserved to suffer, but she did not deserve to die.

(Maybe that made her selfish, because Gingertalon hadn't deserved it either... But there was no saving Gingertalon now.

She could still save herself.)

"You can't kill me! I - I won't let you... I can't!"

(Roe was likely back in the Asylum's camp, and he couldn't save her now. But where was - where was Pyrik? Would he understand, if she got the chance to explain? Would he let them hurt her?)

She was no longer a trembling wreck barely larger than a kitten, like the first time she'd weathered their glares and assumptions and anger - she had grown into herself now, enough so that she was standing before them without her fox-fur. There hadn't been time to return to her burrow, not when she had to deliver Gingertalon's body and still had to explain.

(So why did she still feel just as helpless?)

Lilacsong turned back around, her eyes narrowed. It was not like her to feel such anger, but in this moment her Clanmate was dead, and all evidence pointed to the she-cat in front of her being her killer. Still, she raised her tail, calling for everyone to remain silent. When had she grown to be so demanding?

"I do not want your death, Thalia. But you must consider the fact that while I may be the leader, my role is to serve my Clan. And just there, a member of my Clan is dead." She motion to the body of Gingertalon, lost in a sleep for which she would never wake. "If you have an explanation for why this is, please share. Because it looks as though you are the cause of her death. Please, Thalia, just tell me anything else. Tell me that you did not kill Gingertalon. We can grieve for her, and we can continue on." She was begging now, losing her composure. She wanted so badly for Thalia to be innocent, she would probably accept anything the she-cat said.

On some level, Pyrik understood Asylum and the Clans would never be allies. They were simply too different, and WindClan too angry. The thoughts he’d had of bringing the forest under Asylum’s wing, getting to know their cats and customs, helping Captain Iniko and his factionmates teach a new generation of Standards some far-off day, were founded on sand. But the part of him that knew was buried deep, deep down, beneath optimism and their all-encompassing mission. Until now. Grief had broken through one layer; the sight of a Clan swarming to accuse his friend before they’d gotten even a scrap of real proof against her shattered the rest. If one of their so-called warriors had dragged this she-cat’s body into camp, fresh, bleeding wounds on their face, WindClan would have met them with worry and compassion—but Thalia had the nerve to wear Asylum’s scent, and that made her guilty.

…She could be guilty. She was a Nightstriker, with all the training that entailed. But she wasn’t cruel. She would explain (if these beasts let her; some of Pyrik’s fear boiled into fury), and until he had reason not to, he would trust her.

Not quite looking at Gingertalon’s body (the fourth in a season; as little as he knew about Clan life, he could recite every step of their night-long vigils), Pyrik wedged himself between Thalia and the most immediate threat: Downtuft. His ears, tucked safely under his fox pelt, pressed flat against his skull. The shaking in his legs wasn’t nearly so easy to hide. But he couldn’t retreat. With his intervention, things could go poorly; without it, they would. “Thalia’s not a—a murderer.” His voice cracked from disuse. “Please, let her explain, there’s got to be a reason—”

Oh, thank the stars, Pyrik was there - Pyrik was protecting her, at least for a moment, even if he had sort of the wrong idea. He might turn away when she was through, but knowing that there was at least someone she could lean on, at least until then... That was what gave her the strength to speak. Not to ridicule the Clan cats any further than she had, but to speak, to give them the explanation she had wanted to in the first place.

"I... It's not so simple as that," she heard someone say. Was that her own voice? Oh, it was, she was - she was speaking, now. "I really, really wish it was. But this... This never should have happened. You have to understand, this wasn't supposed to happen! If I didn't care at all, do you really think I would have tried my best to carry her back here without dragging her through the snow?"

She willed herself to take a deep breath, then another, and another. "I caught her running out of the camp by herself, and - well, she's not supposed to, and it seemed like she was running from something... So of course I was worried, because the only person I've known to run off on their own like that is - well. Myself, when I don't know what else to do. So I wanted to see if she was okay, and I wanted to make sure she wasn't caught wandering alone. So I... I asked if she was okay... And she shouted at me, the way the rest of you all do - I'm used to that now - and then she attacked me. It was so sudden, I was - I was so afraid, I thought she was - that she was going to..."

Her voice broke.

I thought that she was trying to kill me! Not that you'd care!

"So I defended myself, the only way I understood, because words don't seem to work with you! You all keep talking about how she was injured - well, she didn't seem to have much of a problem running out of the camp by herself or slashing my face! You're right, that she didn't deserve any of this - but she wasn't innocent, the way you seem to think. What was I supposed to do - just stand there and let her use me as some sort of twisted target practice, the way I have since I first got here? And now I'm supposed to let you all tell me that I deserve to die, after the way you've all treated me - the way you've treated all of us? What was I - what was I supposed to do?"

Of course, she knew what they wanted her to do, or at least she thought she did. She was supposed to stand there, defenseless, and let them strike her down - because she was the nice one, the harmless one, the one they could target with their thorn-sharp tongues and icy glares, the one who wouldn't dare to fight back.

(Until now, anyway.)

Please, Pyrik... You at least should know! That I wouldn't do something like this... And that I wouldn't have gone by myself, if I were going to...! Nightstrikers don't hunt by themselves, everyone knows that!

"I'm sorry, Pyrik," she whispered. "She didn't deserve to die, but does that mean that I do? That - that can't be right, it can't, but... I can't stay here! I... I need to go find Roe, he'll - he'll understand! He has to!"

She gathered her fox-fur as she went, slipping into the pelt that had been her shield since her training days, and wasted no time at all in running from the camp; seeking the only salvation she could think of in her desperation. Certainly if any cat would understand her predicament, it had to be Roe...!

Eagletalon slipped out and stood in the clearing. "Lilacsong, perhaps Thalia has a good reason?" she asked. She wasn't against the Asylum cats like most of the clan cats were, but she wasn't for the Asylum cats either. Sure, she knew a few goods ones, but she didn't know Thalia and this was something that was unacceptable. She turned towards Lilacsong, "I will guard the prisoner?" she asked with a calmness in her voice stating that she would not let any clancats come near nor let any Asylum cats come near to fear their friend.

She bristled when Thalia ran from camp. She turned around to give chase, but then remembered that there was a new leader. "Lilacsong, may I?" she asked with fury in her eyes.

Lilacsong was shocked. In fact, she was appalled. Ginger talon did not continue fighting. It was a simple scratch of rage, one that would cause no damage, and she had to die for it? She did not think even the Asylum could be that cruel. Her head was swarming with confusion. Why Thalia? She had to fight herself from going after Thalia and killing her. A life for a life. But she would not do that. She would not be the reason her Clan was at war.

"Let her go. We cannot kill her without facing the fury of the Asylum. But I think even those brutes can agree that she is no longer welcome here." It was not often she referred to the Asylum has something as cruel as that. But there was no denying that they were just that. This was proof of that. The Asylum were all the same. This would be the last time she would fall for their veil of kindness.

She turned to Pyrik, fury in her eyes. "Well you got your explanation. Now go to your superiors. Make sure they know that savage will no longer be welcome in our camp. We do not house killers."

Spotlake lifted her head from her nest, as she heard shouting. She had been curled up around Martenkit, making sure that the young she-kit was sleeping soundly. She glanced back towards Martenkit, who didn't seem that disturbed by the yelling. I should go check it out. She thought. She slowly lifted herself up, careful not to disturb Martenkit, before walking out of the nursery.

What she next, horrified her.

It was one of the Asylum cats. Thalia. Standing over Gingertalon's body. Dead body. Spotlake let out a gasp of horror, before running down towards Lilacsong. "What's going on?" She asked. She whipped her head back towards Thaila, as Shyfawn took away Gingertalon's body. Thalia tried explaining herself. Explaining that she didn't mean to kill Gingertalon. That Gingertalon was going to kill her. She didn't see that Gingertalon couldn't fight much at all? She didn't see that Gingertalon was a poor, injured, defenseless elder?! Spotlake's fur bristled, as her pale green eyes turned into little slits.

She finally relaxed herself, when she saw Thalia run out of camp.

As Thalia began to speak, Pyrik took his gaze off of Downtuft to watch her. Like most Asylum cats, they’d known each other before being sorted into their respective factions, and their shared assignment had made them closer still; he might not have been able to read her perfectly, but he could only see honesty on her face now. She hadn’t thrown Gingertalon into the sand like a piece of rotting prey, or sliced through her eyes and left her to bleed. A dead body was a dead body, sure, but Gingertalon didn’t bear the signs of certain Nightstrikers’ brutality.

Thalia continued to explain until she got to the attack. Her voice broke. Pyrik, recalling how WindClan’s medicine cat had brandished claws full of poison at him, went cold. He could fill in the gaps on his own. If he’d needed any more reason to believe his friend’s account, the marks across her face were enough. She spoke the frustration he felt.

Before he could even begin to think of what to say in response (“of course you don’t, you’re not a murderer”? “Asylum won’t let them hurt you”?), Thalia darted through the gorse tunnel and onto the moor, throwing her fox pelt over herself as she went. Pyrik swallowed, eyes wide. Though the last thing he wanted was to face WindClan alone, he couldn’t help a small stab of relief; they couldn’t execute someone who’d left their territory. Still, he shuffled back to put more of himself between the tunnel and the furious warriors around him. With luck, he’d be able to delay anyone who tried to go after Thalia—and be in a better position to make his own escape. He raised his head to find that Lilacsong’s conflicted expression had hardened to ice. That word again. Brutes. “Weren’t you listening…?” Of course they weren’t. They never would.

The trembling had sunk through his legs to his bones, yet Pyrik felt his pelt rise, prickling against the fox skin, as Lilacsong ordered him to report back. No doubt they would’ve housed Gingertalon happily if she’d killed Thalia. But he couldn’t push those words off his tongue, and he hated himself for it. “She’s—she’s not the savage here,” he said instead, gaze sliding down from Lilacsong’s face. Lingering here wouldn’t do any good for the situation or for his waning courage. Without another word, he turned, ducked through the tunnel, and hurried away from WindClan’s camp almost as fast as his paws could carry him.

As Pyrik rushed off, Downtuft raised his voice as loud as he could, sure that the tom had heard. "GINGERTALON'S CORPSE BEGS TO DIFFER! SHE'S DEAD AND YOUR FRIEND ISN'T!" He spat, livid with rage. "Lilacsong, I'd like to request that Shyfawn and Mintflower both get personal guards. Apparently Asylum seem to favor killing queens and elders. All four deaths have been elders and queens, after all. Gingertalon was -- is, fierce and yet all that Asylum monster had on her were three scratches barley deeper than a kit's."

Shyfawn raised her head in protest, "Downtuft, that's not neces--" The sorrowful expression on the usually grumpy tom's face made her bite back all protest, and she dipped her head. "Very well. If Lilacsong agrees, I won't protest." She went back to grooming Gingertalon, and when she had finished, she lay her head in morning. "Some cat go get Softbreeze and Smallbean. We'll need to wash her thoroughly with lavender."

Lilacsong let out a long, grateful sigh. If it were not for Downtuft and Shyfawn helping her out, she did not know what she would do right now. She knew this was going to be far from easy, but this was literal chaos. "Yes, Downtuft, that would be a very good idea. I'll have you guard Shyfawn, seeing as you two are so close. Spotlake can take care of Mintflower. Eagletalon, could you get Softbreeze and Smallbean? We have a vigil to prepare."

Of course, not all of the Clan was here. They would not respond to an Asylum cat's call after all. But they would respond to hers. She leapt up onto the tall rock for the first time since becoming leader, a pain in her heart. This is where her mother had stood. Olivestar had been a great leader. But it was a hole she would need to fill now.

"WindClan! As you all can see, Gingertalon is dead. She was murdered by the Asylum nightstriker Thalia, who claimed she had done so in self defense. But we know otherwise. Thalia is no longer welcome in our camp, and should any of you see her, you will report to me. Do not engage. Not only is she a skilled fighter underneath her veil of innocence, she also has the entire Asylum backing her. And I have no desire to lose anymore Clanmates. Clan dismissed." She jumped down from her perch quickly, not wanting to be up there anymore than she needed to be. Right now, she just wanted to hide away. If only that was an option, but it was not. So instead she padded over to Gingertalon's body, pressing her muzzle into her cold fur.