oh starclan no the puns [CLOSED]

Cardinalpaw waited eagerly at sunset. She'd started to get used to this wake up at night thing. Barely. But that wouldn't stop her! This was the equivalent of a dawn patrol, she guessed. Sans and his brother were with her today. What was his name? Orchidheart or something? Maybe Roseheart? No, no... Redheart? She really needed to stop forgetting the names of her new clanmates...

"Heya, kit," Sans meowed, wearing a laid-back smile, as he and his littermate approached Cardinalpaw. Ever since her return to ShadowClan after leaving to return to SkyClan -- in which the both of them had been promptly exiled for different reasons -- Sans noticed himself feeling a bit aloof around his former friend. He wasn't exactly sure why, but it was perhaps because she just kept on disappearing over and over again, which didn't really give them a chance to truly bond like how they were supposed to. Honestly, he missed the days where she was still an innocent little apprentice. Maplepaw had been such a different young molly from the battle-scarred Cardinalpaw she had become now.

Nevertheless, it was nice having her back in ShadowClan where he still truly felt she belonged. She had always felt more like a ShadowClanner than a SkyClanner to him anyway.

Padding up to the nearly-fully-grown apprentice's side, Sans offered her a laid-back, yet still playfully wink. "So, are ya ready to go, kit? Maybe we can hunt near the Thunderpath. I can just hear those mice cardinal-in' our names, heh."

"Asterspark, I will not allow you to make anymore of those terrible puns while we're on patrol!" Poppyheart barked with an annoyed narrowing of his amber eyes. "If our new friend here decides to leave ShadowClan because she had become just as fed up with your lazy attempts at cracking jokes as I am, I'll make sure Thornstar knows just who's at fault!"

"Aw, c'mon, bro, it's leaf-fall. Learn to have a little leaf-fun."

"Not to mention your apparent growing of age is severely damaging your ability to make less-than-decent puns! That one was such a stretch and you know it! Ugh, let's just go. The sooner we begin, the sooner we'll have something to bring back to camp." Poppyheart turned his attention to Cardinalpaw and offered her an apologetic look. "I truly apologize for my brother's terrible sense of humor. But fear not, for the Great Poppyheart will help this patrol go by quickly and smoothly in spite of someone's efforts to make it as pain-stakingly long and irritating as possible."

Cardinal grinned at the puns, following them out of camp before responding to the red cat. "Oh, it's fine. I thought they were pretty mice jokes. But true, we can make jokes aster hunting." She added. They were on a hunting patrol after all.

Poppyheart immediately halted in his tracks, and after several moments of staring out into nothing he threw his head back to let out a very dramatic, "Uuuuuugh! Asterspark, you are the absolute worst influence in the history of the Clans!"

Sans let out a loud mrrow of laughter, equally as amused at his brother's reaction as he was in Cardinalpaw's own paronomasias. "Don't get so deep into a hissy fit, bro. Cardinalpaw's been makin' such sweet puns ever since she was still Maplepaw."

"I don't want to hear it! Let us just press onward."

The trio of ShadowClanners continued deeper into ShadowClan territory until they reached the marshes. Once there, Poppyheart, being the leader of the patrol, ordered his brother and the apprentice to begin their hunt, while he himself searched for his first prey. It didn't take him too long to find a frog perched on a rock near the murky water, and he lowered himself into a crouching position, slowly creeping up towards it. He deemed himself close enough to pounce, and so he did, but unfortunately he had taken noticed a second frog in the water near the one he was hunting spotting him. It quickly darted away into the water, alerting the first that danger was nearby, and so it hopped into the marshes moments before Poppyheart's white paws hit the rock, catching nothing but air. He softly growled with an irritated flick of his tail and resumed his search for more prey.

Meanwhile, Sans was searching the other side of the marshes for prey, where he was able to find a mouse drinking the marshy water. He lowered himself into a hunting position and stalked carefully towards it, his one good eye trained hard on the little brown creature. After a silent pounce, he landed on the creature, pinning it down with his claws so it couldn't wriggle away. He gave the back of its neck a sharp nip before it could squeal out in panic and alert the nearby prey. Scraping mud over the mouse, he resumed his hunt.

Poppyheart missed a Frog, costing 3 stamina.

Poppyheart
80/80 HP
237/240 SP

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Sans caught a Mouse, costing 3 stamina.

Sans
95/95 HP
247/250 SP

The member 'Yoshachu Spookachu' has done the following action : Dices roll

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#1 'Hunting Dice' : 9

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#2 'Hunting Dice' : 3

Cardinalpaw giggled at Redheart's dramatic display. "It's true. I've had this talent since I was a kit!" Stepping carefully, she made sure not to get stuck in the mud. She spotted a cardinal - what a coincidence - and caught it relatively easily. Though the squishy ground was harder to work with, she still knew how to catch a bird.

Cardinalpaw lost 3sp and caught the prey!

The member 'Spookade' has done the following action : Dices roll

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'Hunting Dice' : 2

Sans had spotted Cardinalpaw's fiery pelt during his search for more prey, and he grinned at her hunting technique. She obviously still had quite a bit to learn about adapting to a landscape with softer, less durable ground, but she seemed to be coming along quite well in her training. How funny she had been able to catch her namesake, though. "Hey, nice catch, kit. You definitely aren't flying through your training with good ol' Thorny." He snickered at the sudden, "Asterspark!" ringing through the air, even having been lucky enough to see the utterly peeved expression on Poppyheart's face as he glared at him from several tail-lengths away.

Deciding to return back to his hunt, Sans spotted the rather elusive squirrel nibbling on a pine cone near one of the few pine trees scattered across the territory. He sighed softly, knowing his endurance would never be up to par with catching such a swift and crafty creature. Instead, he signaled to Poppyheart with his tail, then pointed at the furry brown creature, and his brother soon got the idea to hunt it down. Leaving the russet-furred tom to it, he son found a replacement target in another mouse. He crouched down, stalked up to it as close as he could, and finally pounced. Once again, just like with the first, he landed on the mouse and killed it with a swift bite to the back of its neck.

Meanwhile, a few tail-lengths away, Poppyheart narrowed his eyes at the squirrel Sans had directed him to. Catching this little creature would certainly make up for missing that frog earlier. Knowing speed was the key to hunting squirrels, not just stalking and pouncing, Poppyheart sprinted into action the moment he felt close enough to it. The squirrel reacted quickly, leaping up into the pine tree right next to it. Poppyheart unsheathed his claws and clawed upwards along the trunk, trying to catch it before it disappeared, but it didn't seem luck was on his side today. The squirrel's sporadic movement send little bits and pieces of bark cascading down on Poppyheart, and he hissed in pain as a little piece fell into his right eye. Shutting his eye tightly and squinting through his left, he slowly climbed down from the tree to the ground and tried to paw out the irritant. "Foxdung-eating squirrel...."

Sans caught a Mouse, costing 3 stamina.

Sans
95/95 HP
244/250 SP

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Poppyheart missed a Squirrel, costing 3 stamina.

Poppyheart
80/80 HP
234/240 SP

The member 'Yoshachu Spookachu' has done the following action : Dices roll

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#1 'Hunting Dice' : 2

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#2 'Hunting Dice' : 3

Cardinalpaw brought her prey back to start a pile- they wouldn't bury it in the sticky mud here, would they? "Maybe not, but this squishy mud is sure getting to be a thorn in my side." She leapt up the same tree Poppyheart had come out of. Maybe catching it would prove her abilities weren't that bad. After all, she'd learned tree hunting plenty. She carefully stalked closer to the squirrel, then leapt, snapping her jaws. Alas, she only caught a mouthful of tail fur. The squirrel got away. She hopped down and sighed. "Guess it is a smart squirrel." Whatever. She could catch something else.

Cardinalpaw missed the squirrel and lost 3sp!

The member 'Spookade' has done the following action : Dices roll

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'Hunting Dice' : 6

"Or maybe you're just too proud to admit that maybe you're startin' to lose your SkyClan side," Sans teased with a playful narrowing of his eyes as the apprentice returned to his side. "Anyway, between your bird and my mice, I think we've done a pretty decent job--"

"We are not going home yet!" Poppyheart suddenly snapped, having blinked away the piece of bark that had fallen into his eye. "I still have yet to catch anything at all. I'm not leaving until I've caught something." Whipping around, he stalked away, now desperate to find something to bring home.

"I caught two mice, bro," Sans called out to him as he stomped away. "I could always just give one to you and say you caught it."

"That's not good enough, Asterspark. I need to catch it myself. I'm just having a bad hunting day, but fear not; I shall recover and catch us the biggest, juiciest prey that ever did grace the taste buds of a ShadowClanner!" Just as he finished saying that, he spotted a rather rare sight for ShadowClan: a gray rabbit. Yes! This would be the perfect chance to make up for missing both the frog and the squirrel!

Using the same tactic as he had for the squirrel before, he crept up as close to it as he could before bolting into a run. The rabbit heard him and began to race away, but it didn't have the same climbing ability the squirrel did, so Poppyheart had been able to catch up to it before it could reach its warren. He pounced on it, pinned it down, and landed a sharp bite to the back of its neck to kill in, making it go limp. He lifted his head, his eyes glittering with pride. "Victory for the Great Poppyheart!"

Poppyheart caught a Rabbit, costing 3 stamina.

Poppyheart
80/80 HP
231/240 SP

The member 'Yoshachu Spookachu' has done the following action : Dices roll

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'Hunting Dice' : 2

Cardinalpaw really didn't want to lose her Skyclan roots, she realized. Her life was always changing, but the trees were where she made her home. But she had to let that go, meaning she had to learn how to do things the Shadowclan way. "Wow, that's a big rabbit!" She said. Not a bad day - four pieces of prey among three cats. Should last them till the next patrol. She picked up her prey and trotted towards camp, before hearing a squawk from above. "Hu- Agh!" Her prey was knocked out of her mouth as talons dug into her flesh in a powerful blow. The giant bird held on, though slowed by her weight, attempting to fly away. "S- Sans! Help!" She stuttered. She lashed her paws out, trying to grab onto a branch, but her head hurt and the world was spinning and the bird was moving oh so fast...

Eagle used Swoop on Cardinalpaw, dealing 30 damage and using 20 stamina! Cadinalpaw can no longer fight.

The eagle flapped its wings. She wasn't expecting this flaming-red prey to be so heavy. It yowled to the other nearby ones, and its paw caught on one of the higher branches. The eagle fumbled and started to fall, dropping the cat so she wouldn't hit the ground. She started towards one of the other cats, soaring in circles low to the forest floor, planning her next move.

Cardinalpaw
0/20 HP
74/80 SP

Eagle
60/60 HP
180/200 SP

The sudden screech startled both Sans and Poppyheart just as it had Cardinalpaw, and both watched in terror for a split second as a large eagle tried to carry their friend away before they leaped into action simultaneously, breaking into a sprint after the large bird of prey.

Once the apprentice managed to catch her claws on the branches of a pine tree, wrenching herself out of the eagle's grasp, the large bird began to circle around them. It obviously hadn't given up on earning itself a meal just yet. Sans turned to his brother and urgently meowed, "You make sure Cardinalpaw's okay. I'll take care of the bird." Skidding to a halt, letting Poppyheart rush over to the tree where the apprentice dangled from, Sans turned back around to face the eagle head-on. "Y' should really learn t' plan out your meals instead of simply just wingin' it." Once it was low enough to the ground for him to land a strike, he reared up on his hind legs and unsheathed his claws before slashing them across the bird of prey's feathery underbelly.

Sans used Rear-Up to Slash on Eagle, dealing 17 damage and costing 15 stamina.

Sans
95/95 HP
229/250 SP

Eagle
43/60 HP
180/200 SP

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"Hang in there, Cardinalpaw!" Poppyheart yowled up to the dangling apprentice. From what he could see from this far away, the claw marks along each of her sides didn't look very good at all. He wasn't certain how much strength she had left after being tossed around in the air by that eagle.

Once he reached the trunk, he unsheathed his claws and began climbing up the tree to reach Cardinalpaw. Once he climbed up to eye-level with the younger molly, he carefully walked along the branch where she was dangling from and lowered his head to grab onto her scruff, where he then pulled as hard as he could to lift her up onto the branch. He panted once the apprentice was safe from falling, and he winced at the strain in his neck the tugging had caused. "Are you okay, Cardinalpaw?"