Let Aspenheart Roast You

He's salty, snarky, and a pain in everybody's hind. He's also everybody's poppy seed dealer. Let my son call you out.

One character per customer, but after I post with Aspen's roast for your character, you may post again with a different one.

Heeheehee.

;)

Oh man, oh maaaan. Go ahead and roast Marshstorm. XD

grizz I LIVE FOR THIS

okay, I'd say roast Finch, but since he's already gonna do that in the canon story, go ahead and roast Flintfang XD

Marshstorm: "Does it get a little cold in Leopardstar's shadow? I mean... What do you do? Nuzzle your mate? Do some ceremonies? What's with that? I honestly forgot you were deputy for a second, you're so busy being wrapped around Dustcloud's whiskers!"

Flintfang: "Oh, please, talk a little quieter. Be a little more strong and silent. Don't worry, little one, you'll be a real boulder one day! ...By the way, if you found a warren full of rabbits, with all the little ones there, and you had them cornered, should you really be chasing a squirrel across the Thunderpath? Send my love to Scorchstar before he claws your ears off, buddy!"

i don't know how much material there is yet but...roast lightpaw, end him

-Pushes Dappleshine to stand in front of Aspen, who proceeds to look at him-

aspenheart can you roast beartooth

help pricklebush out for a sec

-points finger guns at a confused Leopardstar-

thrash him.

Ooooo, roast my good boi Scorchstar please! XD

-points at Dewshine-

Roast the sweet one.

the heck, why nah. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Small papa Tiny needs some good roasting.

do maplepaw aka dumple

Alright, let me do a few at a time since this blew up.

Lightpaw: "I feel bad about this one, 'cause I totally get it. I can't run and you can't climb. I just find it a little funny that you were born on a mountain and you're still scared on heights. Yeah, this is a weak one, but why don't you go ask your weird sister to make a joke about it?"

Dappleshine: "Dappleshine, are or are your parents not dead? I think I missed it the fortieth time. Let me go get you a bed of moss to lie on, you poor dear, before you collapse in a puddle of tears."

Beartooth: "I am fully convinced that you wouldn't hear a twoleg monster with big glowing eyes sneaking up behind you if you couldn't even hear your brother drowning a few tail lengths away."

Leopardstar: "How many times do you have to get betrayed before you finally close your borders and accept that we can't all be saintly rogues like you were?"

Scorchstar: "You're the second most scandalous leader I've ever met and the first most scandalous literally executed a child. Whose kids are those? Do you even know??"


I need to recharge my roasting abilities before the next batch, but they shall come!