A New Hope (Closed)

The sun was high in the cloudless blue sky, its light filtering through the leaves above to make beautiful dappled patterns on the ground. Birds twittered in the branches, filling the clear morning air with chirps and song. It was an amazing newleaf day- but Gingerstripe couldn't appreciate it, no matter how hard he tried. The memories of sunlit family patrols with his family- no, his "family"- were too bittersweet for him to handle. He would almost have rather lived by entire life as a lie than to have been subjected to the awful life he now led. But every time his thoughts came back to his current predicament, he shook them off. If he spent his whole life feeling sorry for himself, he would be even more pathetic than he was already. Instead, he focused more on his current problem.... he was lost.

Though he had the vague idea that he was somewhere in RiverClan territory, he had no idea where. RiverClan didn't even share a border with ShadowClan! The loner had tried to sneak onto his former Clan's territory, wanting to get a glimpse of his daughters, but he'd smelled a patrol nearby and had to dash for it. He'd ended up on ThunderClan territory, where he'd nearly run into another patrol- a pair of cats who were, luckily for him, too busy staring into each other's eyes to notice him in the bushes a few feet away. It made him miss Copperfang- wherever she was, if she wasn't dead. The thought had made him emotional again, and he'd run off a third time when they heard a rustling... And now, he was lost somewhere in RiverClan territory, with no idea whatsoever how to get back to WindClan's moors and the Abandoned Barn. So now he sat in the middle of this small, sunshiny grove of beech trees, frustrated with himself for being mouse-brained, both hoping that a patrol would come and that it wouldn't. He'd certainly made a real news of things, hasn't he?....

Newleaf. It was supposed to be a beautiful time. A reprieve from a rough leaf-bare, with prey coming out of their burrows and slumbers. Lazy with the prospect of a good meal only a few scant paw steps away. Sickness could be cured, and wounds mended... but some were not so easily cured. A sleek silver shape emerged from a softly flowing river. Her blue eyes clear but absent. Focused on something else that wasn't in front of her, but behind.

In the camp of condemnation. Her ears flattened uncomfortably as she thought about the argument with Silverfang. The unjustness of the situation made her pelt itch in a way that even the river could not cure. She was intent to put some distance between herself and the vicious she-cat. For a moment, she had thought she would be alone. Most apprentices fished now rather than focus on earthy prey.

The thought was dashed when she saw a stranger there. The absence in her eyes faded to clarity as her mind caught up to the situation now. An intruder was in the territory, and she felt the instinctive growl rumble from her throat before she heard it. Yet, he hadn't done anything wrong that she could see. Her growls died out on the wind as she stared at the stranger. Wary, but calm and unintimidated.
"Who are you?" She asked. Her blue eyes direct and focused on him, ready in case he tried to attack her but lenient. Her claws remained sheathed, fur smoothed. Just because Silverfang or the others in camp didn't like her leniency, didn't mean she had to give it up to become a numb fighter.

When Gingerstripe heard another cat approaching, he started to get up so he could run again- then thought better of it, and sat back down. First of all, he was exhausted from escaping patrols, and he needed to know where he was, so he could leave. He didn't really care for RiverClan territory. The tom turned around wearily, planning to just ask how to get back to the Barn- then stopped when he saw the she-cat who had come. Sleek silver-gray pelt, delicate paws, slim muzzle, clear sky-blue eyes... He sat there dumbly for he wasn't sure how long, staring at the beautiful warrior. Then he came to his senses, seeing the wariness and readiness to scare him off in her gaze.

"I, um, I didn't come here on purpose," he started hastily, his ginger-orange tabby fur rustled a little bit from running and hiding. He hadn't meant to trespass, dang it, but now here he was. "Honestly, I just wanted to see my family again, but I got lost. They're ShadowClan, not RiverClan... but I don't know how to get back to the Barn from here. My name's Gingerstripe..." Had Nettlesting preached to every Clan about his evils? Did she know him? Would she care? "Just give me directions, and I'll be out of your fur. I promise."

Dewshine tilted her head inquisitively. What was a ShadowClan cat doing here? Part of her mind raced that it could be an invasion, perhaps ShadowClan had reconsidered being on their side? Yet, he was alone. She didn't scent or see any other cats except the ginger tom in front of her, who if she was honest didn't look too well. He looked... miserable.

Now that she had taken the time to really look she could see clear signs that his pelt wasn't as groomed as it would have been had he been with his clan. He looked leaner too, and possibly lonely from the way he had watched her earlier and now spoke of his family. She sighed softly, wariness fading, then padded a couple paces closer to him. Still far enough to defend herself, but close enough that she could speak earnestly with him and not worry about being overheard.

"You're on the wrong side of the border." She explained calmly, her voice softening at the lack of distance. "You want to follow the gorge at our WindClan border towards Fourtrees, then cross over there." She turned back to look at him, a bit of embarrasement in her eyes as she realised something. "My name is Dewshine."

Slowly, she sat down in her new spot. Confident that he wasn't out to actually harm anycat.
"You uh... You don't have to go now" She suggested softly. "Why are you so far outside of ShadowClan?"

Once it became clear that the she-cat wasn't hostile, Gingerstripe finally let himself relax, muscles no longer tense, tail swept over his paws, thin shoulders somewhat slumped. He hadn't been taking good care of himself, and he supposed it showed. Why was he even thinking about that now, though?... It was just such a sharp contrast between him and the she-cat who watched him. Hated rogue, cast out from his Clan... Well-groomed warrior, loved and taken care of by Clanmates. She probably had a mate. Why do l care?

At least she gave him some directions. The tabby tom paid close attention as she told him where he could go, trying to see the route in his mind. The large canyon with a river in the middle had to be the Gorge. And he knew how to get back to WindClan's empty, endless moors from Fourtrees. But compared to the solitude that awaited him there, he was loath to leave the only company he'd had in a while. Dewshine. A beautiful name. "I... It's nice to meet you, Dewshine," he said, tasting the name on his tongue. "Thank you. For the directions." Once she tentatively invited him to stay, however, the loner didn't have much intention of going anywhere. Though the question she asked did bring back memories... A golden she-cat in the middle of a circle of angered Clanmates, then dead on the Thunderpath, then the glares of his family centered on him... He flinched as he remembered.

"I..." It was a fair question, and he ought to answer it. But it hurt... "I was exiled," the tom finally got out, pained green eyes downcast, voice hoarse and so, so tired. "I can say that I didn't deserve it, but I suppose it was my mistake. I should have trusted my brother, told him... told anyone. Maybe there would have been some mercy, at least before Magpiestar died. But not from Littlestar. Who would've known? The she-cat who raised me ended up throwing me out for accidentally killing my real mother." Gingerstripe had almost forgotten he was talking to someone else. "I didn't mean for her to get hit by that monster. I could swear it in front of StarClan, if they ever cared. I suppose that's where that codebreaker is right now. Laughing at me. But she had been a rogue when she died, cast out from her home- and in return, I get the same treatment. Figures."

As Gingerstripe explained why he was away from ShadowClan, she thought about it carefully. He had killed his own mother? Part of her wanted to bristle up and chase him out, she knew without a single doubt that was what her clan mates likely fully expected of her. After all, murderers can't possibly be redeemed. The thought soured in her thoughts bitterly. Her eyes looked over the tom again, but she didn't see a murderer.

She saw a cat who had made a mistake. A lapse of judgement that, yes, had cost a cat their life. Yet, other cats in the forest had done the same and were still among the clans. Poor Flickerpaw was an example of that. A young she-cat, ripped away from her family and brought into RiverClan's fold. Gingerstripe's story wasn't really different to hers except in location. An error, a single moment, and bad timing.

The stigma was rediculous.

Dewshine closed her eyes and breathed deeply for a moment, letting her emotions calm themselves in the face of what was offered.
"A life is still a life." She murmured, but as she opened her eyes, there wasn't any condemnation. The older tom had clearly suffered from his actions already. More than enough. "I forgive you." She said steadily, as she padded forth the final pawsteps to actually sit next to him. "No warrior can say they've never made a mistake. I hope you don't have to stay a rogue forever..." She added, a small thought in her mind about how warm he looked when he wasn't tensed and worried. She'd dare to think handsome, but she glanced shyly away at the thought. If Silverfang and her other clanmate were going to hate her before, they would kill her for forgiving this tom.

As Gingerstripe's voice faded off into the sunlit silence, he realized what he had been saying, and his face colored somewhat. What had he come to? Here he was, spilling his life secrets (incomplete and rambling as he'd been) to some random warrior he'd just met. However, there was something about her eyes that made him feel like he could trust her... The former ShadowClan cat looked hesitantly back at Dewshine, seeing the tilt of her mouth and knowing that it meant she was processing the mess he'd blurted out. Then a certain line to her jaw, a firm blink, and she'd decided. He waited breathlessly as she turned towards him, almost ready to turn and run. Soft, light blue eyes met his.

"I forgive you."

Those words.... no one had told him those words. No one had forgiven him for his accident, his mistake. Yet this she-cat he'd just met.... Somehow, she found it in herself to forgive him, who had even began to think himself hopeless, just as every other cat he loved did. But Dewshine understood. The miserable stress lines around Gingerstripe's eyes softened somewhat as the she-cat's words ran through his being and brushed around his pelt, making him shiver a little. A glimmer of his former, bright and intelligent self seemed to gleam in his emerald eyes as he realized that someone, somewhere, believed that he wasn't a horrible cat. There was hope.

"I..." The loner's voice was surprised, uncertain, but closer to his real voice than any of the pain- or fear-laden words he'd uttered earlier. "Thank you, Dewshine. My own family never... Thank you." When she approached, the thought to flee didn't even cross his mind. He trusted this she-cat. As he looked at her soft silver pelt, so much closer to him than it had been, a wild idea flitted into his head. Instead of chasing it out, he let it linger. Well, he wasn't going anywhere, and while he was finally talking to someone who didn't find him repugnant.... Shyly, the tabby tom took a few steps closer, then sat down about a mouse-length shy of brushing their pelts. He didn't want to be too forward, he just hadn't been close to any other cat for a while, and he'd like to at least pretend that he was friends with this amazing cat.

He exhaled as she spoke again. "I hope that someday, I'll find my place. It can't be in ShadowClan, nor in ThunderClan, but maybe someday I can find a home with someone who won't reject me. It may seem a bit far-fetched, for a so-called murderer like me, but..." His tail-tip twitched. "Even loners can dream, right?" Suddenly, lingering on his pathetic life seemed like it wasn't that great of a conversation to be having with a cat he'd just met. It was too depressing. And he wanted to know more about her... "So, Dewshine, what is your life like? Do you have a family that you can spend time with? What is... what is it like, living in RiverClan?"

Dewshine smiled at Gingerstripe with a soft expression. When the tabby tom settled next to her, blue eyes watching him without being wary. There was no need to be wary of a seemingly kind-hearted tom such as this. She nodded affirmatively at his hope, it made sense. She couldn't imagine not being part of her clan... though some cats would probably be happy about that. Her head ducked a bit as he asked about her life. Sometimes she wished she had a family. Her parents or even a mate... but neither of those things seemed to be in her future that she could see.
"No... I don't have any family." Lonliness crept into her eyes as she thought about all the cats that didn't like her very much, especially after the Flickerpaw incident, though there were a couple that were fine.

"It's... interesting." She began slowly, weighing each word as she spoke it carefully. "I'm uh... not on the best terms with most of my clan mates." Her claws tightened on the ground, ears flattened. "I don't know if you heard, but we have an ex-ThunderClan apprentice who accidentally murdered one of our warriors in the camp." Dewshine sighed "She is young though... impulsive. She made a mistake and I decided to help her by simply letting her swim close to the shore." Her muzzle twisted in a disdainful look as she glared at the ground. Silverfang's many criticisms running through her head.

"Now a lot of cats are angry at me... they didn't like the idea of her learning something useful. I think if I had dared to say I forgive her that I might not even be welcomed in the clan anymore..." She looked up at Gingerstripe sadly. "If Goldeneye didn't stand up for me... I don't think I would be."

Dewshine's voice was intoxicating. Though the tale she told was sad, Gingerstripe listened attentively to every word, focused not only but the story but just the fact that he was near a cat who wasn't being hostile to him. Every movement of her ears, every flick of her tail, was so open and so real that he couldn't look away. And as she told him the tale of a RiverClan- no, ThunderClan- apprentice who'd made a similar mistake to him, he could see the tale as she spun it out. If the cat he'd killed had been from another Clan... The loner shuddered. He didn't imagine he'd have escaped with his life. It wasn't fair, was it, that accidents were met with such punishments and anger? A flaw in the Clans' system, one that no one seemed to care about. Except those who had experienced its horrors, and... except those few who were willing to forgive. Like Dewshine.

"Well, she's lucky to have a cat like you on her side," the tom said finally, breaking the saddened silence that had stretched out after the last of her words fell into the air. He certainly wasn't the only one with problems, that was for sure. "I wish at least one of my Clanmates had stood up for me. But to risk consequences like that...?" Gingerstripe shook his head in amazement. "You're brave, Dewshine. It takes courage to do that, especially for somecat you don't even know. The Clans... The Clans need more cats like you." He offered her a slight smile- small, but genuine. It made his whole weary, pain-filled face look softer and kinder. More vulnerable. Just a young cat, really, when his life had been destroyed.

Suddenly, Gingerstripe heard voices in the distance, coming from the direction of RiverClan camp. A patrol, or just a lone cat? He stiffened. From Dewshine's opinion of her Clanmates, he get they wouldn't be pleased to see a "murdering rogue" on their territory... and he didn't want to get his friend in trouble. My friend. I have a friend. The lean tom stood up immediately, muscles taut, eyes worried. "I'd better go. You'd get in trouble if they saw me. Thanks for the directions... and the kindness. It really means a lot." He turned to go, then hesitated and turned back. "Can I... see you again? Moonhigh next week, same place? I think I can remember how to get back." Pawsteps were approaching. He nodded a quick farewell to the silver she-cat and darted away towards the Gorge, almost as fast as a WindClan cat, becoming a ginger blur through the green grass until, just as suddenly, he was gone.


Almost right after he disappeared out of sight, Snowblossom pushed her way through the trees, panting at the exertion of walking, her pregnant belly bulging slightly. Her green eyes brightened as she saw Dewshine sitting there. "Dewshine! Thank... StarClan," she gasped, her exhausted voice less gentle than usual, sitting down to rest herself against a tree. She paused to catch her breath before speaking again. "There you are. Jaystream wanted you for a patrol, and I was already going to leave on a walk, so I went to see if I could find you." Unlike most of her Clanmates, the kind-hearted queen held no enmity towards the younger she-cat. But as she scented something strange in the air, her eyes narrowed in confusion. "What is that odd smell? Dewshine, did you... chase off a rogue, or something?"

Dewshine's paw scuffed the ground in front of her. Her pelt felt warm from his praise, muzzle in a soft smile as she turned her head towards him in time to catch his own smile. Seeing his happiness, only made Dewshine feel even happier inside, though she regretted the recognition that he wasn't in her clan. He was a loner, a former ShadowClan cat... her ears twitched at a sound in the distance. Her blue eyes met his green ones, her reluctance to see him go visible, but understanding as they stood up. Her posture still relaxed and unthreatening. She thought about his request, then nodded. She could sneak away after the gathering, no cat would pay attention to her.

"Of course, I'll be here." She mewed softly, as she watched him retreat towards the gorge. For a moment, there was silence, suffering and long. Her ears flattened warily at which cat might be approaching from the trees, her paws working at the ground to attempt and hide the fact that they had been sitting so closely. Unfortunately there wasn't much use in that. Their scents were well in the ground, and she knew that it might come to her facing the consequence. With a deep breath, she turned towards the trees as the other she-cat stumbled out.

Her eyes widened in relief and concern to see Snowblossom. Immediately, Dewshine padded over to her eyeing the queen's swollen belly with worry.
"Snowblossom! Are you sure you should be way out here?" She asked worriedly, her tail twitched her anxiety as Gingerstripe's scent was mentioned. Her ears flattened as she tried to think of an excuse. A lie to tell... but why tell a lie? She hadn't done anything particularly wrong, or against the code. Had she?

She shook her head to Snowblossom's question.
"One of the cat's from the barn near WindClan lost their way, so I gave them directions." She answered honestly, trying to ignore the thought of some other cats hearing that kind of sympathy. "It's nothing to worry about, but you seem tired, do you need some help back to camp?" The offer was sincered as Dewshine waited patiently for Snowblossom as she padded around to the she-cat's other side and the treeline. "We probably should get back if Jaystream is waiting for me..." Dewshine added, hoping that Snowblossom wouldn't decide to investigate the scents. Wouldn't be able to tell exactly what cat's it was or that they had sat there longer than they should have talking.