Hope in the darkness (closed)

Snowfoot was remembering a bit more every day now, and she felt rather silly about forgetting so many cats. But now she knew there was one cat who deserved an apology. Leopardsun. She’d finally remembered the deputy was Deerleap’s kit, and she felt awful about being so distant lately. Nervous but trying not to show it, Snowfoot walked over to her niece. “Hi,” she mewed.

Leopardsun blinked- she couldn't remember the last time Snowfoot (Snowpaw?) had approached her. "...Hi," she answered, unsure of what to expect. They'd been- maybe not the closest, before everything, but they were family and they'd spent time together. The time where they hadn't been, because she couldn't remember any of it, felt weird. "Was there something you needed?"

She tried to look polite, pleasant, and reassuring. Be polite, be professional- simple enough, right?

It felt like she was dodging Twoleg traps, except she wasn't moving at all; and instead of herself getting caught it would be someone she cared for getting hurt if she said the wrong thing or stepped the wrong way.

The tension was palpable and guilt clawed at Snowfoot’s chest, but she pushed onwards. “I guess, well, I just wanted to say I’m sorry and I’m proud of you. My memory’s coming back, slowly, but it’s coming back. I’m sorry I neglected you for so long, but during that time I’ve gotten to know you not as Deerleap’s daughter but as a deputy. You’re a good one, Leopardsun. You’re a good deputy. I’m proud of you.”

The words that left Snowfoot's mouth left Leopardsun stunned. Over time, she had- not quite given up hope, but sort of expected that she would never see the same recognition in her aunt's eyes. "...I... That means a lot," she said softly. "Do you- how much do you...?"

It would sting. It would sting so, so much if she didn't... But she had to know. She had to know if she was still alone.

"...Do you remember Vixen?"

Her voice was heavy with a grief she hadn't expressed in quite some time.

Snowfoot's apprentice. Snowfoot's other niece. Her own beloved little sister.

It hurt to remember. Almost as much as it hurt to forget. “I remember her,” she mewed, tears threatening to spill. Her apprentice. “I don’t remember what became of her, but I know she isn’t here now, and I remember how angry she was with me and everyone else. I feel like I must’ve failed somehow to protect her. I doubt your parents are very happy with me, and you have every right to be upset too.”

Leopardsun sighed, her tail curling around her side as she lowered her eyes to the ground. Old, worn stone; a path that neither she nor Vixenpaw had the chance the walk as they were meant to. Never mind that she didn't give a rat's tail about StarClan herself, her sister at least had deserved to speak with them. "There's no real answer," she said eventually. "She was... We were separated, all of us- once we were reunited I thought she was with you, and you thought she was with me, and... I just hope she's safe and happy, wherever she is now. That she knows there are people left who love her and miss her."

She would not entertain the thought of her sister's death for even a moment. If there was even the slightest chance she was alive, somewhere out there, Leopardsun would cling to it desperately.

Vixenpaw's anger was as easy to remember as her own. "She was angry, yeah. So was I," she spoke softly. I still am. "But if she hadn't disappeared... At least we would've had each other. Instead, I'm... Not alone. Not completely. But in some ways, it feels like I am. I wanted to chase after her so badly, but... Suddenly I was deputy, and there were all these new responsibilities, and I-"

She paused, considering the cat before her. "...Sorry. You don't need to hear all of this, do you? You've... You've got your own things to sort through."

Snowfoot chuckled, a dry almost-laugh. At this point, it was laugh or cry. “Don’t worry about me,” she mewed, flexing the claws on one paw a little. “You’ve got a clan to look out for. Besides, what’s an aunt for? I should be here for you, not the other way around. Just promise me you won’t lose hope. We defeated the Dark Forest, after all. It doesn’t get much harder than that.”