I hope you burn. [Closed]

It had been a few moons. Echoflame has not been to the Mist, despite knowing clear well her mate was residing there. It had taken this long to come to terms that Sedgestrike was not the tom she had dedicated her life to since a young age. The only tom she had- well, not the only tom she ever loved. Elmcloud was her first love, but Sedgestrike was by far the strongest. They we're going to build a life together. A history to be passed on.

It wasn't her fault she had died. The branch had looked sturdy enough, and she had landed on that branch since kithood. It was one of the first outing with her kit. Starling paw, SkyClan's newest up and coming apprentice. She thought it would be safer for her on the ground... When she leaped she didn't even need to look. The landing was fine for a few moments but as she looked down to her daughter, a tiny speck, the worst sound you could ever hear in SkyClan decided to appear. Crack! As she fell, she didn't even have a second to warn her daughter. She distinctly remembered wanting to though. She remembered the screech of her daughter right before she and the large branch crushed every bone in her body. Her own spine had snapped in half like a twig.

Echoflame couldn't help her death, but Sedgestrike was the direct cause of his death. Attacking the cat to be your leader after your adoptive father died? Not a good choice, but it ended well. A disturbance at a Gathering? Excusable with a few camp chores. Murdering his own leader? Disgusting. Disowning his own child and mutilating his own face? Absolutely unforgivable. The cat who had died was not the cat she had lived with.

It pained her. Seeing what her love did. She had cried for eternity into her father's pelt. She cried, in StarClan. You weren't meant to cry in StarClan. She had seen it all and she was absolutely powerless.

After Lichenmask, she felt ready. She would face her mate. She travelled through the starry plains to where the Mist started. It was thick, and heavy. Ominous. She knew she could enter, but he could not leave. However, she did not feel like he was even worthy of sharing the same death space as her.

The tall and lean spotted cat picked a spot near a tree that was split between the mist. What would he look like? Would he look like he did when she fell in love? She hoped not... She would main his face like he had maimed their daughter.

"Sedgestrike!" She called out in a loud, looking, angry voice. Echoflame waited. When he appeared, he would face the inferno.

Time blended together in the mist. No matter how far he walked, the scenery never truly changed. Roots of trees on either side, one rotted and broken. The other, smooth and healthy. Like the cats within those spaces. No breeze blew through to give a reprieve, nor sun or shadow drifted. It was lonely, desolate, disparaging. His paws padded the same ground in an endless circle... his green eyes and silver coat shining with the familiar glow of death.

He didn't feel great however. His anger at Mintwhisker for his death was slow to fade, but he understood it. The more time he had to think, the more he realised what his actions had done. He had destroyed his own family. Whatever legacy had been left behind... he had ripped it apart. Sometimes he thought his paw was covered in her blood. The scars that would be embedded in Sparrowpaw's face forever despite the fact that she didn't really deserve them. It wasn't her fault that she was weak.

The sound of a voice cut through the mist like a claw in water. The fog itself seemed to ripple, and without a thought, Sedgestrike turned towards it. His tail flicked and ears pricked up with mundane curiousity. Who would call into the mist? The list of cats that knew his name was small, but above them all was the beautiful black and white she-cat he had fallen in love with. The strong she-cat, who he had admired, been proud to have a family with... and he paused abruptly as he saw her. Beautiful as ever, but the look in her eyes spoke volumes.

"Echoflame..." His voice filtered weakly from disuse as he coughed and tried again. "Echoflame!" His tail and posture lifted in delight, he wanted to greet her with a nudge and a hearty purr... but she would not welcome that... the fury undisguised made him stop short of the Starclan border, ignorant that she could simply waltz through without effort.

When the silver tom came toward her, her breath caught in her throat; her eyes softened. He was just as handsome as she remembered. It took everything to not run towards him when he called her name. All she wanted was him. Since she died, she wanted him. Everything in her just assumed he would be in StarClan with her, and they’d be happy until they slowly fade from existence.

But he wasn't. He wasn’t because he killed his leader and maimed his own child. The fury returned.

“How DARE you!” she hissed, standing back up. Her tail lashed from side to side. “How dare you do that to Sparrowpaw? To your clan? To me!” The black and white cat began to pace, a low rumble in her throat. “You were my everything. You were her everything!” Echoflame couldn’t even come up with the words she had plan for ages to say to him. Everything wiped out of her head when he saw him. She paused, mid way through a step. Slowly, she lowered her paw and turned around. She stared at him.

“Did you not love me?” she asked softly, but her eyes were just as fuming. “Did you not love me?” she asked again, choking on the words. “Because if you loved me, instead of destroying our only living daughter and ruining your chances of being with me forever here in StarClan, you wouldn’t have done what you did.” Echoflame’s voice grew softer and softer. Weaker as she uttered those words. Her flame seemed to wither away to an ember. She shrunk. The proud she-cat was broken. Tears streamed from her eyes, and she turned her black and white back to her mate to hide her tears for the first time.

“Do you remember when we were little?” She whispered. “We were playing in the woods and you wondered ‘What happens when we die?’ I had paused for a second then. I said, ‘we forget everything. Everything.” She quivered. “You did not want to die, because you never wanted to forget.” She turned, facing him. Her eyes were sore, and started to droop. “You forgot what we used to have. They were gone with the squeeze of insanity… How did you forget, Sedgestrike?” The last part was hardly a breath. How could Sedgestrike do this to her? She was everything she ever wanted. He had everything in her, and her love. All he had to do was live out the rest of his life. But he gave it up!

He didn’t love her. Not enough.

OoC: not sorry

The strong silver tom flinched at her tone. His ears flattened and he wanted to deny it all. He wanted to say it was for the good of the clan, that SkyClan needed better. Over the moons they had grown weak and frail, his strength would have made them strong and feared. He bit back these words, and for a moment just enjoyed the voice of another cat. Drinking in her presence like a parched cat in a drought. The mists were empty and devoid of life... to finally have another cat to speak to was a blessing, even if she cursed him in anger.

He'd be lying if he said he deserved otherwise. The way he had left, had not been ideal. An ache grew in his chest for the legacy behind him. It had been cruel, he looked down at his paw that had struck the blow and lifted it. Staring for a moment at it's pads before he set it down and looked towards the misty ground beneath him. The sight of Echoflame wasn't one he deserved.
"I love you." He whispered. Prayed that the words did not get absorbed by the thick mists around them as he looked up, daring to gaze into her eyes. "Echoflame... I love you... and Starlingpaw... and Sparrowpaw. I... I think about you all the time." He glanced away again. His claws bad touch in the dirt like an abashed apprentice being scolded by their mentor. The fur around his spine rose slightly.

"I couldn't stand seeing SkyClan look so weak! Every gathering we had a new leader, and to have that Tiny cat as our leader? It's disgraceful! He's too small, he couldn't even save himself from falling! I didn't even mean to kill him!" His voice raised as he spoke. The flames of heat in his word spoke volumes of his distaste. "... I never meant to forget... I never meant to wound our daughter." He shifted uncomfortably, voice lowering as he glanced away. "StarClan knows, I never wanted to hurt her... I just... I wasn't thinking." A bitter hiss rose in his throat. "I let my anger consume me... I see that now. Our daughter paid the price for that, but perhaps that is for the best. Maybe, just... maybe, the clan won't associate her with me. I thought, if I disowned her, that maybe she could move on... leave me behind... like StarClan knows I deserve."

Echoflame took a deep breath, contemplating the words coming out of Sedgestrike's mouth. It was true. Echoflame did agree having Tinystar as leader did make SkyClan look incredibly weak. She would never tell Sedgestrike this though. She swallowed back any loving words she was about to udder. "That is not an excuse. That is breaking the code so many times over it's unbelievable. It's called words Sedgestrike, learn to use them." She stood again, and then decided to sit back down. She was just so unbelievably shocked at all of this, she couldn't even decide if she wanted to sit or stand.

"You did not need to maim our child to prevent her from being victimized because of your actions!" she suddenly cried after a long moment of silence. "She is sweet and gentle, nothing like you. Nobody would dare see the resemblance to you. There isn't any there." Echoflame narrowed her eyes.

"Why else should I forgive you, Sedgestrike? Make your case strong, because if it's weak I will turn around and leave, and I'll never come back and I'll never bring Starlingpaw, and when Sparrowpaw joins us, I will never bring her either. Rippedstar won't come either. You'll be left alone for eternity." Echoflame looked down. "So make it good, loverboy."

The thought of never seeing his kin or family again, not even seeing Rippedstar hurt like a claw raking over his heart. He wanted to see them, he needed to see them... but did he deserve to? Did he even deserve to see Honeypaw again, he'd have to apologise to Poplarstar as well, even though the leader had barely lasted a moon. His green gaze shifted to his forepaws. In this moment, he had a choice. One that he had heard voices whispering from the other side to make. He could practically feel the shadows shifting closer in the mist. They loomed over him, threatening and decisive. His heart pounded in his ears as he choked back the urge to yowl in despair.

"You're right." He meowed softly. "There is no similarity between us... and I couldn't be happier about that." The confession hurt falling from his tongue. Normally cats wanted their kits to be like them, but if Sparrowpaw was, she'd be too obsessed with his version of right... even when it threatened the clan. He took a deep breath, his gaze falling upon Echoflame's once more. He wanted to reach out and nuzzle her, he wanted to be the tom she deserved. The one she believed he could be, but that meant compromising everything he knew. Everything he had ever thought about and compromised. "Echoflame... I don't know what to say," He lowered his head solemnly. The ache in his chest grew as he admitted what he feared may drive her away forever.

Leave him in the darkness.

"I've never known what to say... I always hoped, prayed that my actions alone would be enough... until Rippedstar died. Until Honeypaw was ripped out of my paws as though I were a disease." He spat the word viciously. "Even in the end, it was Mintwhisker who murdered me. Their own medicine cat..." He paused, realising he was hardly making a case for himself here. "I didn't want things to turn out like they have. StarClan knows... if I could do everything again, I'd do it so differently." His gaze and voice softened. "I'd love you more... I'd care for our kits better... I'd try to banish those thoughts and keep them inside, try to make them not exist... but. Echoflame... they are part of who I am. I can't just stop them... I don't know how."

Echoflame sat and contemplated what the tom said for a long, long while without looking at the tom. Was she somehow to blame for this? She could have been more careful, and she should have seen the darkness brewing inside the tom she loved. He had always been a little rough around the edges, but that was what she loved about him. Finally, she glanced over to the tom, still not saying anything. He looked so sad, so depressed. It killed her seeing him this way.

It was funny, but not really. Besides the killing of Tinystar and the insult to their daughter, Echoflame didn't disagree. Perhaps it was best that she had died, so she would not be forced to go through this down there, and see the repercussions of what was happening. If she had still been alive though, would Sedgestrike have done this? She didn't think so.

I could have loved him better, too...

Finally, the dead spotted warrior spoke. Carefully, as if feeling around an unstable branch... Branches... Screw branches. she thought bitterly. Her voice was soft. She could still love him enough. "Do you know..." she paused. "If.... If we can get you out of this Mist? Do you know if we can, Sedgestrike?" She looked away again.... Her mercy was always too great. But she wanted him. She needed him. He was her everything, and she needed him with her until they faded away to nothing.