Hope of Morning [Closed]

Ashpaw sat near the exit of camp, his one good eye gleaming with curiosity. He kept glancing around nervously, and sniffing at the entrance before darting back to his hiding place. To be honest, he was secretly wanting to go out, but he knew what happened the last time he attempted to do so. The apprentice shuddered at the memories of the fire burning in his wounds, the ground bathed in his own blood. He remembered begging Blossomheart to leave him behind, because he knew he had no chance. She probably would've..no, should've left him behind. 

No, no matter how badly he wished to ask a warrior to accompany him outside of camp, this tingling sensation started where his injuries were and fear blossomed in his chest. Then, he would shake his head and run back to the safety of the darkness: the silent and oddly welcoming darkness. He would continue this routine, with no hope of snapping out of it. It was like an endless loop conjured by his own terror that refused to be broken. 

Surprisingly, a cat caught him in the middle of his strange ritual. When asked about him, Ashpaw jumped, his eyes wide and full of fright. Once he realized that the cat was his friend, he allowed his fur to lay flat. He let out a sigh, flattening his ears as he finally managed to choke out a few words, "O-oh..hello Tigerleaf."

A flicker of movement at the corner of her vision caught Tigerleaf's attention. The newly appointed warrior paused in the middle of her grooming session and glanced up, one tabby paw hanging in the air. As she did so, the blur of motion that she had spotted sharpened into a distinct gray-and-white pelt. To her surprise, she recognized the apprentice Ashpaw. He was her former denmate and also one of her few friends. Since she had become a warrior not too long ago, however, they had had few chances to have a proper conversation. Now, the striped she-cat watched as he darted back and forth from the camp entrance. What was he doing? She blinked twice in confusion. Hastily licking her paw before drawing it over her ear, she completed her grooming session and walked over.

The long scar that cut through the gray fur on the tom's side was painfully obvious. "Hello, Ashpaw." Tigerleaf mewed softly, in a friendly tone. At her voice, the tom jumped, whirling around. Startled by his reaction, the warrior flinched back as well. Ashpaw's wide-opened eye(s?) gazed back at her from his marred visage. "S-sorry." She stammered. "I didn't mean to scare you." She had heard from her clanmates about Ashpaw's fight with a murderous RiverClan warrior. While he had escaped with his life, he was left with both physical and emotional scars. To be honest, it made her quite depressed to see her friend revert back to his former state

A sudden thought popped into Tigerleaf's mind. "Are you free to go on a patrol together? Right now?" She asked a little uncertainly.

Ashpaw listened carefully as the tabby warrior spoke. He immediately felt embarrassed of what had become of him. She probably wasn't aware, but he could see the pity burning in her eyes as she stared down upon him. Seeing that made him want to crawl deeper into his shell, deeper into the dark haven he had dug for himself. He glanced around quickly, searching for the nearest dark place, even though he was rooted to the ground by Tigerleaf's presence. The shy apprentice gulped and forced himself to meet her gaze again, his entire body shaking as he opened his mouth and tried to form words. 

After choking up for a little bit, he finally managed a few words, "Patrol...out there?" His everlasting frown grew a bit as he stared out into the forest. He wanted this so bad, why was he resisting? Ashpaw shut his eyes tightly and tried to relax, breathing heavy and shaky breaths as he tried to think of something that would make him feel more at ease. He thought of Blossomheart, the warrior's comforting scent and soothing voice; he secretly found himself wanting to experience that. Never again, though. She was gone.

The gray and white tabby tom opened his eyes and looked up at her again, standing a bit straighter now. "A patrol? Sure, I guess. I do need to get out again.." He subconsciously looked towards the camp exit and tensed up a bit as he stared out into the territory. 

Tigerleaf shifted from one paw to another with slight discomfort as she watched for Ashpaw's response. She could see the anxiety and fear in his one good eye, and it caused her heart to twist within her. This wasn't right. Her heart raised a silent voice of protest, and it was hard to stay silent at the emotions that surged within her. At the gray and white tom's acquiesce, she felt a sense of relief. She wasn't sure what she would do if he refused to. It reminded her briefly of the time she had asked him to be her friend, although things were quite different this time.

The striped warrior led the way out of camp. It was sometime in the morning. Sunlight streamed through the branches that stretched overhead, casting dappled shadows over the two cats' pelts. A somewhat awkward silence hung over the two of them, and Tigerleaf was rather aware of it. As she padded along taking in the scenery, the young she-cat tried to think of something to say to Ashpaw. Something that would help him, cheer him up at least a little. "It's, um, been a while since we last hung out. How are you?" The last question came out terribly awkward. Obviously not too well, but she still wanted to know.

OOC: So sorry for the delay! I wrote this in a rush, so I apologize if it's weird.

"Not fine," He meowed curtly, pressing close to her as he glanced around at the forest in front of him. It was like he was half expecting that evil, bloodthirsty cat of Riverclan to come and drag him into the forest where he'd never be seen again. A distant rustling of the bushes had him jumping, his one good eye trained at the source of the sound. He was frozen in place, staring at the moving bush as if it had just spoken to him. If he looked hard enough, he could've sworn he heard the deep chuckle of Shadefang, or his dark, murderous gaze staring back at him.

Ashpaw gulped and hesitantly scampered back to Tigerleaf's side, his gray and white body shaking terribly as he stumbled beside her. He probably looked like an idiot right now, a terrified kitten that had just left the safety of his mother for the first time. "Have the audacity to act normal for once," He hissed at himself, narrowing his eyes. Finally, he turned his head to look up at the striped warrior, opening his mouth to try and speak.

"Wh-what about you, Ti-Tigerleaf? How have you b-been?" J"ust what you needed, Ashpaw, to make yourself look more stupid and pathetic!" He flinched at the own words in his head, a small whimper escaping his maw.The familiar stutter had come back to haunt him. It had returned to remind him of what he truly was. He was just a broken cat pretending to be strong. And his strong persona had finally cracked.

Ashpaw's short answer was to be expected. You really had to ask something so obvious? Waving her striped tail, Tigerleaf pushed the sarcastic voice in her head out. Silence returned to the two cats, and the striped warrior went back to thinking up things to say. Suddenly, Ashpaw jumped. The sudden motion snapped her out of her thoughts, and she followed his line of sight to a nearby rustling bush. If Ashpaw's gaze could set the bush on fire, it would have burst into flames and been reduced to ashes by now. He stared at it for so long that Tigerleaf was beginning to wonder if StarClan had just given him a vision. Maybe that was why he seemed to be able to see something that she could not. She knew that wasn't what was happening, though. She knew it was his trauma from being attacked by Shadefang.

At his sudden question, she paused slightly before responding. "Fine, I guess..." Her voice trailed off towards the end. A certain warrior's image suddenly popped into her mind, and she hastily shook her head to clear it away. She turned her bright yellow gaze to her former denmate. "You know," She mewed, slight uncertainty in her voice, "About what happened, I don't think you should be ashamed of it."

His breath caught in his throat and he choked at her statement, breaking into a short coughing fit. "A-Ashamed? Why would I b-be ashamed?" Ashpaw knew exactly what she was talking about, yet he was trying to avoid it. He didn't want to talk about this right now, anyway. What happened to him in the past should stay there. It was just his stupid paranoia getting in the way of a perfectly good hunting patrol. Why did he always have to ruin things? Was he the source of bad luck or something?!


"He-Hey..we should try doing some hunting. The prey pile s-seemed a bit empty before we l-left.." He meowed, desperate to change the subject. Before she had the chance to agree or disagree, the gray and white tabby had opened his mouth to taste the air. He padded slowly towards the scent, and soon enough, dropped into a hunter's crouch. As he neared the finch, his confidence dropped. Would he really be able to catch it? He hadn't hunted in so long.. Ashpaw swallowed as he leaped with his claws outstretched. Against all odds, he managed to pin down the bird and kill it with a bite to the neck. 


Breathing heavy, he gathered it up into his jaws and excitedly bounded over to Tigerleaf, smiling for the first time in sunrises. "You..you caught it! You actually caught it!"

The member 'Lulu' has done the following action : Dices roll

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'Hunting Dice' : 7

It was clear from his denial that Ashpaw didn't want to discuss what had happened. Tigerleaf opened her mouth, intending to say more, but the gray and white tom quickly changed the subject. She fell silent as he lowered himself into the hunting crouch. It didn't take long for her to spot his target: a nearby finch hopping along the ground. The results of his hunting attempt were evident within a few seconds. A purr rumbled from her throat at the sight of the limp bird in Ashpaw's jaws. "Not bad." She mewed.

The striped warrior supposed she should hunt as well. She was the one who had suggested this hunting patrol, after all. Stepping away from Ashpaw, she surveyed the surrounding forest for something she could catch. Her tail swept slowly from side to side as she waited for the telltale signs of prey. Faint scuffling in the undergrowth soon caught her attention. At the same time, the wind carried the warm scent of squirrel to her nose. Tigerleaf narrowed her golden eyes, falling into a crouch similar to Ashpaw's. The scent trail led her to a good-sized bush. Judging from what she could hear, the critter was behind the bush, where she couldn't see it. Suddenly, a memory of a familiar situation in the past flashed through her mind. A small smile crept over her maw as Tigerleaf eyed the tree adjoining the bush. She could use that. The brown she-cat sprang towards the tree. When her paws came into contact with the rough bark, she kicked off and landed right beside the squirrel. Before the squirrel could even run, Tigerleaf finished it off with a quick blow. It had taken quite a bit of practice, but she had managed to perfect the Tribe hunting trick Foxhunter had shown her.

Mouth full of warm squirrel, she padded back to Ashpaw. She set her catch neatly by his finch before sitting down on the grass. "The RiverClan warrior crossed the border." She said, meeting the apprentice's gaze with her own. "As warriors, we're supposed to defend our territory. That's what you did. Do you... regret that?" Her voice threatened to shake, but she forced it to remain steady. Oh StarClan, help her. She didn't understand half of what she was saying. Why was it so hard to express what she felt? Was she supposed to be cheering him up? Because if she was, she was failing at it. Someone remind her again why she preferred solitude.

The member 'Transient' has done the following action : Dices roll

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'Hunting Dice' : 2

Ashpaw's heart swelled at the praise, and he watched as Tigerlead went off to stalk prey of her own. Even though they had grown distant because her becoming a warrior, he still considered the striped she-cat his best (maybe even only) friend. He watched, silently amazed as she used the tree branch to her advantage and ended up catching a squirrel. "If she always hunts like that, the prey pile will never even be close to empty again!" He wanted to say that, but thought it best to keep it to himself.

When she once again brought up the topic between..what hapened, the tom flinched. Hadn't he made it clear enough he didn't want to talk about it? Just the mere mention of "Riverclan" reminded him of that cursed tom who had taken so much away from him. He shuddered, taking a deep breath to collect himself before speaking, "No..I don't re-regret defending Skyclan t-territory...it's m-my duty to p-protect..protect our home..I-I just wish I were..stronger." He felt tears prick at his eyes and he immediately blinked them back. No, he couldn't cry in front of Tigerleaf. Crying would just show her how weak he had truly become.

Yet again, Tigerleaf wondered if she was making the right choice. Talking about what had happened clearly hurt Ashpaw, forced him to relive the pain of that day. She didn't want to hurt a friend, let alone her very best friend. The striped she-cat was tempted to just change the subject and pretend she had never mentioned this topic. Yeah, maybe that was what she should do. How could she possibly understand how the gray and white tom must feel? She wasn't the one who had lost an eye, doomed to live the rest of her life with limited vision. But was that really the right thing to do? Life was always full of questions whose answers were nowhere to be found. At the very least, she didn't want to regret not saying anything later. What a selfish cat she was.

The young warrior took a deep breath. "I think..." She started, "that I probably have no right to say this. So if you don't want to, you don't have to listen to what I'm going to say. I don't think the fact that you lost is that important. Wait, um, no, that's not what I meant!" Before Ashpaw could misunderstand, she hurried to correct herself. "What I mean to say is, I think that the fact you stood up for yourself is more important than the fact that you lost in the end. We don't fight to protect our clan because we know what the outcome of that battle will be; we do it... because it's the right thing to do. It's sort of like that. You shouldn't be ashamed because you lost and regret fighting that RiverClan warrior as a result. You stood up for yourself. There are probably worse ways to lose an eye. If you think you're weak, that just means you have to become stronger. That's why, don't cower in fear of him anymore." Taking her feelings about Ashpaw's situations, Tigerleaf did her best to express them in words. As she finished, she sneaked a glance at her former denmate. She wanted to know how the tom reacted, but at the same time she was scared to find out.

Ashpaw opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He sat there for a few moments, struggling to find the right words to say. When it became clear there was no way, he closed his mouth and shook his head. As much as he didn't want to admit it, Tigerleaf was right. Moping around about himself wouldn't solve anything. He wasn't meant to be like this forever...no matter how broken he was, he had to pick himself up from the destruction and continue forward. Blossomheart wouldn't want him to stay like this. The thought of the fluffy, pink she-cat that he had seen as a mother brought back pains almost forgotten.

Her sweet, soothing voice sent grief rippling through him, and those tears he had been struggling to keep back finally slipped out. If she was watching, she was probably crushed. Even in death, or wherever she was, she was probably hurt, seeing him like this. He was probably hurting Tigerleaf too, with how pathetically he was acting. She had to sit here, watch him be this way and deal with his nonsense. She was the one that had to pick up the first piece for him, lead him in the right direction. Be that beacon of hope that was slowly dying within him. He couldn't imagine how..how utterly terrible it felt to watch her best friend shut down before her. He had to step it up. Tigerleaf was right. Everything that she had just said was right. He had to stop..stop living like this! Ashpaw quickly blinked back anymore tears and found himself smiling; a sad, but genuine one.

Sniffling, he turned towards Tigerleaf, again trembling from the overload of emotions, "Y-You're right...I p-promise that I'll never s-stop fighting, Tigerleaf. Thank you f-for...helping me see th-that." He sighed, contentedly, and closed his eyes and for what felt like the first time let himself relax. He ignored the nagging voice in his mind that said Shadefang would spring out any moment, and instead let himself relish being out of camp for the first time in sunrises.

The tears slipped down Ashpaw's face, causing Tigerleaf to feel as if her heart had jumped out of her chest. Her bright yellow eyes were stretched wide as she took in the sight before her. W- what had she done? Ashpaw was crying. She had caused her best friend to cry. She knew she had made a mistake; she should never have mentioned what had happened. At that moment, the young warrior really thought herself the biggest birdbrain in the forest. Her striped tail flailed wildly as a dozen thoughts on how to apologize ran through her head. Just as she was about to get down on the ground and perform the cat version of a dogeza, Ashpaw turned to face her. Sunlight reflected off his teary eyes, causing them to shimmer like beautiful crystals. At least, that was what they seemed like to the brown she-cat. She blinked a couple times in surprise once his words had sunk in. The guilty feeling did not immediately go away, but she realized to her relief that he wasn't angry. "Y- you're welcome." She faltered, not really sure if that was the right thing to say. As a comforting gesture, she flicked his shoulder gently.

The two of them sat in silence for a while, Tigerleaf allowing Ashpaw to enjoy his liberation from camp. After a bit, she climbed to her paws again. "Well then," She said, giving her former denmate a small smile, "Shall we get back to hunting? While I was out on a patrol a few days ago, I found this really weird but cool-looking tree. It's not far from here. Let's go check it out after we've brought the prey back to camp!" Her eyes were practically sparkling with odd fascination.

ooc; it's not going to be that big of a post because i'm still not doing 100% great

ic;
Ashpaw nodded eagerly at her proposal, standing up and stretching briefly. The gray and white tabby purred, "Well, what are we waiting for?" His voice sounded way more...confident than it had been before. It had his heart swelling with pride in himself. He opened his maw and scented for prey, catching a trail and deciding to follow it. 

As the scent grew stronger, he crouched, the prey; a vole, in sights. Stealthily, he crept closer, his back legs poised for the powerful leap he might have to make soon. Pausing briefly to put himself in the correct position, Ashpaw sprang towards the creature, claws outstretched. He missed terribly, and watched as the vole scurried for the bushes.

~~~

That wasn't the only thing watching for prey.

An owl, located a few ways away, had been watching the cat from afar. Stretching out its wings, it flew towards it and tried to grab it, its talons merely just clawing its back.

Owl used Talon Strike, dealing 10 damage and costing 10 stamina.

Ashpaw:
10/20 HP
80/80 SP

Owl:
50/50 HP
110/120 SP