Child of the woods, return (closed)

Fishpaw had just been passing by the entrance of camp, sleepy and caught in the space between duties, when a larger tom came marching through. He didn’t have time to slid out of the way before their two forms collided. Fishpaw staggered back a step, jostled by the larger weight, and tipped his head back to look up at the scarred tom. Sablestrike… the deputy hadn’t been too keen on his joining the Clan. And, as he spoke, Fishpaw understood he’d yet to accept it, either. His stomach turned at the comments sent his way, but he swallowed the feeling down. He’d expected this when he came to join the Clan. A fulfilled prophecy.

”Oh, you’re one of those.” Fishpaw threw his head fully back, already exasperated, and let out a sigh. Then he refocused his attention on Sablestrike. ”It’s Fishpaw, thank you. A good deputy should remember his Clanmates’ names, right? And where else would I be?” He went on indignantly. ”I live here now.” His eyes slid away and Fishpaw muttered bitterly, ”I'm not a waste. Pineblossom thinks I'm a perfectly fine cat.”

”Why should I respect a cat that doesn’t respect me?” Fishpaw responded, his nose starting to wrinkle. ”I don’t care how old you are. Or what position you hold.” If Sablestrike was just looking for an easy target to bully, then he had picked the wrong cat. Fishpaw was stubborn, and brimming with a sense of right-and-wrong that belonged only to him. He wasn’t going to roll over and let the deputy gnaw into him.

...but the words did sting. Fishpaw’s ears fell back. His stomach churned at the idea of others--Pineblossom, Hedgepaw--pitying him rather than caring for him. He hated pity, and he didn’t need it. But surely they didn’t. They saw ability in him, saw a future that he could have. But doubt wriggled its way into Fishpaw’s mind, and his belly continued to squirm. The familiar awareness that he may never find his place in ShadowClan rose to mind again. His paws shifted uncomfortably. You think you’ll belong enough... Fishpaw scoffed inwardly. Nice dream.

Swallowing, he turned his eyes back to Sablestrike. ”Are you threatening me? Or trying to imply I’m stupid?” His tail, half-bristled, flicked side-to-side. ”I don’t appreciate it either way. I’m perfectly capable of understanding your Code. Even if I don’t worship it the way you do--sorry, I guess, for having a freer mind--I can still follow it.” Fishpaw lifted his chin, realizing how little he wanted to look small in front of a cat like this. ”Why would I turn my back on ShadowClan? You gave me food, shelter. Cats to care about and look after me. This is more than I ever had as a rogue. Why would I give up a life this easy, compared to the one I knew?” Fishpaw’s ear twitched. ”You must be deputy for a reason. You have a brain to think that through with, right?”