Facing Momma Bear (closed)

Sablestrike knew that he was failing his kits. Simply not being around for them as much as he would like, or as much as they needed him to be was the first sign he had directly noticed, but when his beloved daughter Juniperpaw had gone missing, the tom had been forced to face reality. He loved his kits to death, but as a father he wasn't there for them. It only made it that much harder for him to face Heatherberry, knowing that he had failed in keeping their kits safe. At the very least Juniperpaw was back. It didn't heal the hole that Frecklekit had left, but it was enough to let the tom face his mate once more.

The deputy's head poked through the wall of ferns. Near the back of the den he spotted a dark figure moving around, and a few moments later her herb-drowned scent followed... Or maybe that was just the scent of all the herbs? He could never actually tell until he was close enough to brush her pelt, but her shape was unmistakable to him. The tom let out a tiny meow as he pushed fully into the den. He had been afraid of speaking to Heatherberry only to be dismissed for what he'd done, or rather what he hadn't done, but he wouldn't keep himself from facing that possibility any longer. Hey... Do you mind if we talk?"

Heatherberry... Was not ready to face Sablestrike. She had yet to communicate with him since the birth of their kits - Stars, she hadn't even spoken to Swiftheart! Perhaps it had been the uneasiness that her role as medicine cat would be ripped away before she had even the chance of finding an apprentice to train to take her place, or perhaps it was fear that the two pretending to be mates for the sake of the three kits left.... Were no longer pretending.

So when Sablestrike approached her first, she almost ignored him completely, allowing silence to answer for her. But that was not fair to him, now was it? Especially since they were his kits, too, and one going missing and returning and another... "You may speak." Her tone came out more harsh than she had ever meant it to be, her gaze turning to him apologetically, but taking a seat in silence to allow him the floor.

He had been expecting a harsh rebuke, words that he knew he deserved for letting the molly down, and yet he was met with neither. Her response was far more crushing. Complete and utter silence. Still he lingered, hoping to hear Heatherberry say literally anything to him, and his patience was rewarded, though her response had enough of a bit to it to let him know she wasn't pleased. Sablestrike stepped further into the den. He kept a distance between them that seemed respectful while also allowing him to speak in a hushed tone. He wanted to speak with her, but not at the cost of letting their secret be heard.

"I- Stars, what should he even say? An apology couldn't ever reach the kind of words he wanted to tell her, and yet they needed to be said. The deputy averted his gaze. "I'm sorry. For Frecklekit, for Juniperpaw. I'm sorry I didn't protect them like I said I would." And I'm sorry for my part in bringing them into this world. The tom left those words unsaid. As much as they were true, he would never apologize for spawning the four cats that he had grown to cherish the most. Even if their existence meant either of them could be stripped of their positions he didn't care. What he cared about was his failures as a parent. Juniperpaw had been able to return safely, but he had still let her be taken from him, from them. "And I'm sorry for the spot I've put you in... I can't imagine what you must be going through. If I were in the same position, I'm not sure what I would do... But even if they don't know about you, I still do. I know we haven't talked since then, but I'm still here for you, Heatherberry, and I know that my promises won't hold the same weight they once did, but I will keep those three away from danger. I didn't take that promise seriously at first, I thought-" That he, Starclan's chosen, wouldn't have to worry about protecting his family. That Starclan would do it for him. It sounded so idiotic.

"I won't let any harm befall those kits. Trust me, one more time." Not once did Sablestrike's eye try to gauge the molly's reaction. It stayed glued to the floor, away from her grace.