The future's in your paws. Shape it well.Roleplay in a cat Clan of warriors. Based off the Warriors series by Erin Hunter. Takes place in an AU before the cats in the books existed.
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Characters : [P]oppyshine; [Pi]neblossom; [W]hisperear; [C]rookedlight; [L]arkspring; [Wi]llowwisp; [R]ashoumon Clan/Rank : RC T5 Deputy; SC T5; WC T5; SkC T5; RC T4; RC T4; Rogue T1 Number of posts : 3115 Gender : Any Pronouns Age : 25
Subject: a mother's burden [c] Thu 16 May 2024 - 14:01
POPPYSHINE
Just stop your crying...
Cindersky’s grief was evident to any cat that had eyes. It was unfortunate that tragedy after tragedy had to strike their clan, and especially so close to Cindersky in particular. Cindersky’s mental state seemed to ebb between stable and ghostlike depending on the day. Things were still tense between Cindersky and Perchstar, so Poppyshine took it upon herself to invite Cindersky out on a walk so they could talk with some privacy. Larkspring had seemed annoyed that the invitation did not extend to him, but he put up no arguments to the deputy.
As the two walked together, Poppyshine said, “I’ve been worried about you. Things have been hard…” She strayed a little closer to Cindersky and brushed her flank against her side. She was not as close to Cindersky as Perchstar had been, but she still hoped that her presence was something of a comfort for the warrior. “I don’t blame you for struggling. What can I do to help?”
Characters : [C]indersky, [W]olfpaw [D]aytrader, [R]yepaw Clan/Rank : RiverClan, T3 Deputy | ShadowClan, Apprentice| T1 Loner | WindClan Apprentice Number of posts : 484 Gender : They/She Age : 20
Subject: Re: a mother's burden [c] Thu 16 May 2024 - 15:16
Cindersky T3 Warrior | RiverClan| she/her "i loved you like the sun."
Cindersky was not expecting anyone to invite her out on a walk any time soon, except for Larkspring, maybe. Imagine her surprise when it was Poppyshine. Poppyshine, who practically chased Larkspring away, no doubt. Her pawsteps felt rigid, loosening the further into the territory they got. The silence at the start was amicable, but no less a stark void filled when the deputy began to speak.
"You do not need to," Cindersky hummed. She was still living and breathing, so there was little to worry for in her mind. She flicked an ear, turning her eyes outward to the sprawling trees and wetland that ringed the riverbeds. Very green. Newleaf looked good on the territory. She offered a faint smile when the calicos pelt brushed hers, nevermind the sharp sting it caused. It was no longer a small, brown tom doing it. She did not realise she missed it so.
"It still does not feel real," She continued, voice like a strained whisper. "At times I wake up an expect him to still be there. But..." She blinked. It felt like a horrible question to ask, but Poppyshine was perhaps the only cat she felt would entertain her on the topic, at this time. "You have lost kits," She said. "I know Littlesplash was not mine. He felt like it, though I do not know if he shared the same idea. Does it... Does it get less? The... absence of them."
Characters : [P]oppyshine; [Pi]neblossom; [W]hisperear; [C]rookedlight; [L]arkspring; [Wi]llowwisp; [R]ashoumon Clan/Rank : RC T5 Deputy; SC T5; WC T5; SkC T5; RC T4; RC T4; Rogue T1 Number of posts : 3115 Gender : Any Pronouns Age : 25
Subject: Re: a mother's burden [c] Tue 21 May 2024 - 18:29
POPPYSHINE
Just stop your crying...
It always hurt to lose a clanmate, but depending on how close one was to that cat, it could end up feeling even worse. For Cindersky to admit that she felt like a mother to Littlesplash, it instantly told Poppyshine just what level of agony she was enduring. Poppyshine felt awful for her. The pain of losing a child was one of the worst that Poppyshine had ever experienced. She did not want someone as young as Sindersky to hae to experience it too.
She bent down her neck to press her face into Cindersky’s neck, offering her some physical comfort after her warbling question drifted into the air. Poppyshine replied quietly, “You will always feel the absence of them. It’s been nearly a year since the loss of my first kit, and I still expect to see him scrambling around camp sometimes…But the hurt of it does lessen. It always takes a while, longer for some than others, but my pain eventually faded to a more muted ache when they came to mind.” She pulled back and looked at Cindersky with an empathetic pain in her chest. “Everyone has their own ways of grieving. I’ve endured a lot of loss, but it was a piece of advice a friend gave me that has helped me perservere through all of it.”
Characters : [C]indersky, [W]olfpaw [D]aytrader, [R]yepaw Clan/Rank : RiverClan, T3 Deputy | ShadowClan, Apprentice| T1 Loner | WindClan Apprentice Number of posts : 484 Gender : They/She Age : 20
Subject: Re: a mother's burden [c] Fri 24 May 2024 - 16:35
Cindersky T3 Warrior| RiverClan| she/her "i loved you like the sun."
Cindersky let her head hang as Poppyshine spoke, the words fluttering against her mind like a balm. She had lost things before. But it had never been quite like this. She was not sure anything could compare, and she was not too keen on finding out.
"I do wonder if it ever fades at all," She said. "But you probably thought the same, didn't you? Like a thorn. Lodged and pulling with every breath. But there is those quiet moments where it is... Quieter."
Her ear twitched, the mention of a friend. She raised her eyes to meet the deputys, always surprised to see how deep the care in her eyes went. It seemed endless. Endless, though she seen the ferocity with which she had fought and now bore the scars. Born of love? It was similar.
"And what was that?" She asked softly, hopefully. "The advice, I mean. Maybe I need to hear it too."
Characters : [P]oppyshine; [Pi]neblossom; [W]hisperear; [C]rookedlight; [L]arkspring; [Wi]llowwisp; [R]ashoumon Clan/Rank : RC T5 Deputy; SC T5; WC T5; SkC T5; RC T4; RC T4; Rogue T1 Number of posts : 3115 Gender : Any Pronouns Age : 25
Subject: Re: a mother's burden [c] Thu 6 Jun 2024 - 10:53
POPPYSHINE
Just stop your crying...
Poppyshine smiled sadly at Cindersky. The burden of a death, especially one you held dear, always hurt painfully. She didn’t want Cindersky to be weighed down by it too, but matters of life and death was not something that could be controlled.
She said, “She told me ‘Make your grieving easy and do not linger too long. I’m more concerned with the living.’” Her eyes crinkled. “It sounds rather harsh when said so plainly. Cloverheart was a rather harsh cat—but she was loving too. When a cat dies, they are no long around to suffer or be in pain, so she turned her sights to those that still lived. I have never been great at shedding off the grief so quickly, but it serves as a good reminder to me about moving forward. When I lost my children, it hurt every time, but I channeled that pain into loving and caring for my other children, and my clanmates, even more.”
Characters : [C]indersky, [W]olfpaw [D]aytrader, [R]yepaw Clan/Rank : RiverClan, T3 Deputy | ShadowClan, Apprentice| T1 Loner | WindClan Apprentice Number of posts : 484 Gender : They/She Age : 20
Subject: Re: a mother's burden [c] Tue 11 Jun 2024 - 9:13
Cindersky
I loved you...
More concerned with the living. Cindersky hummed. There was merit to it, a certain truth that was of the kind that you did not want to accept at the beginning, though you knew it was foolish not to. She was quiet while Poppyshine spoke, offering the occasional nod or sound to confirm she was still listening.
"It is not harsh," She then said. "It is honest. I never thought of it in the way of them.. Him, no longer hurting. I only considered he was gone. I still do. But when it is put that way..." She could imagine the small form, wandering amongst the stars and learning all he could, but now without the stress of a Clan on his shoulders. He would not experience any more among the living, but at least he had that.
"But when it was quiet," She continued. "How did you deal with it? The grief is... Quieter when I am with others. It may have been the same for you, I don't know. But when I am alone, it is louder than the rest. More work helps, more patrols. But that is not sustainable, I know that." She had seen it.
Characters : [P]oppyshine; [Pi]neblossom; [W]hisperear; [C]rookedlight; [L]arkspring; [Wi]llowwisp; [R]ashoumon Clan/Rank : RC T5 Deputy; SC T5; WC T5; SkC T5; RC T4; RC T4; Rogue T1 Number of posts : 3115 Gender : Any Pronouns Age : 25
Subject: Re: a mother's burden [c] Wed 19 Jun 2024 - 10:35
POPPYSHINE
Just stop your crying...
Poppyshine nodded sympathetically and replied, “Being alone was always the hard part. When it was quiet and you could feel the absence the most…It gets easier with time, but when it is still fresh, I could spend that time just crying. I would sometimes take walks on my own—a benefit of being the deputy I suppose—when I needed a moment by myself for it. Or I cry into Perchstar’s fur, when she’ll allow me.” She chuckled softly. “Grief is like a wound. If you care for it and treat it—as in, let yourself feel that grief—it will slowly heal itself. It will leave a scar, but in the meantime, the wound hurts and it will hurt for a while. But it will heal, so long as you don’t ignore it.”
Characters : [C]indersky, [W]olfpaw [D]aytrader, [R]yepaw Clan/Rank : RiverClan, T3 Deputy | ShadowClan, Apprentice| T1 Loner | WindClan Apprentice Number of posts : 484 Gender : They/She Age : 20
Subject: Re: a mother's burden [c] Sun 23 Jun 2024 - 4:09
Cindersky
I loved you...
Cindersky could almost imagine it. Perchstar ramrod straight while Poppyshine, so emotive and gentle, cried into her fur. It brought a smile to her face. Perchstar had never seemed one for physical affection. Even as an apprentice, she remembered hearing the leaders breath stutter after the goose attack.
"It is not an easy thing to ignore," She hummed. "To run away from, maybe. Though I think if I as much as tried, it would catch up to me faster than I could blink."
She lapsed into silence then for a time, and a little breath left her lips. She lifted her head again, searching the older mollys expression for a moment. "Thank you, Poppyshine," She said. "You did not have to, but it is nice to talk about it. At least... with someone who has experienced it, and will not make it sound less than it is."
![a mother's burden [c] VXGvVuE](https://i.imgur.com/vXGvVuE.png)