for the sake of the clan [c]

OOC: happens before Quill & Tawny's solo

Tawnyshadow raised her head at the call of her name, a single flick of an ear showing her surprise. She had grown used to being ignored by both her leader and deputy, save for important or irrelevant details. Rarely had she ever been invited to join either of them for a patrol. She didn't blame them, not when she herself knew what she had done to hurt them. However logical she had seemed to herself back then, she now found herself doubting her logic, and eventually admitted to herself that she had been wrong in being so quick to anger with cats who had just lost a little of their world. When no one stepped forward after the death of her kits, she could only think about how she must have earned such a horrible fate. StarClan themselves must have sought her out to punish her the same way she punished others.

However, she wasn't one to refuse what she perceived to be an order, and with a reluctant nod the she-cat got to her paws. Tawnyshadow signalled for Leopardstar to lead the way to wherever it was that the spotted she-cat wished to go, and resigned herself to what she can only assume would be a boring and guilt-heavy patrol.

"Fine," was her simple reply as she too begun searching for prey. What else was there to say? The leader probably thought she didn't deserve to feel bad after what she did. Tawnyshadow acknowledged Leopardstar's statement with a flick of an ear. Was that meant to be empathetic? She caught the scent of a rabbit, and was swift in pouncing on it and killing it off with a swift bite to it's neck. She felt the creature fall limp in her jaws, and carried it back to the leader. The thoughts of the nights before passed through her mind, and she stopped in her tracks. She really ought to do it, even if it meant swallowing her pride. Even if it meant admitting that she may have been wrong, maybe even a little. "Actually," she began, already feeling the familiar thorns of her own spite jabbing into her throat, "I wanted to apologize." The words seemed determined to remain in her, using razor-sharp pricks to crawl back down to wherever they came from. "It was wrong of me to be so tactless after that battle," she really was doing it. Oh Stars, her stomach felt like it had been invested by a hive of bees. "Even if I did have good intentions, the way I went about it was completely wrong and did more harm than good." Tawnyshadow forced herself to bow her head. She could still feel where the leader's claws had sunk into her pelt, where two thin scars now lay splitting the tortoiseshell fur on her chest. "I hope that I can do better in the future, and one day earn your forgiveness." There. It was done. Now came the most terrifying part: Leopardstar's reaction.

And there it was again; the familiar rise of protest in her chest demanding that she explain her point of view, even when it was so long ago and no longer fitted her. She just had to be right, didn't she? Tawnyshadow shook her head to clear her thoughts, tail lashing as the furstration built up in her. What was she expecting from her leader any way? To say she was disappointed was not... completely wrong. The knowledge that she'd never be understood for trying to keep Leopardstar alive that day left a sour taste in her mouth, but what was the point of protesting? She had already apologised; why drag it up again and ruin all that she had just done? Tawnyshadow closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then picked up her catch. "Let's head back," She mewed simply, waiting for Leopardstar to protest but knowing that there really was no reason to. They had gotten the food, waiting any longer would only make their catches turn cold.