does our bond really conquer all? (closed)

The border between ShadowClan and WindClan was one of the most tense places to be in the days following Batsong's tirade at the Gathering. He knew exactly what ShadowClan wanted: war against WindClan. And by now, it seemed inevitable, so it was only a matter of time for an all-out war to break out.

Rookfire did not want to get into an all-out war.

Now, he saw himself as a loyal ShadowClan warrior, with cats he would protect with his life. Yet, he couldn't bring himself to fight for this cause, even if WindClan might try and inflict their own punishment on Nightpaw due to his code-breaking. (Funnily enough, the clan agreed to effectively the exact punishment that Batsong asked for; it was just her policing that they ended up fighting about.)

WindClan's deputy, Smallbean, was a cat who he still cared for from their times stuck as kittypets, which ended up making WindClan the last clan he wanted to go to war with. He was so happy with their alliance, and so frustrated when it came crumbling down. It were decisions like fighting Smallbean that made him wish he was a medicine cat again, where he could arrive on the scene not as a fighter but as a healer. Oh, he'd fight like the Dark Forest if ShadowClan was under attack, but when they were the attacker themselves...

Perhaps that was why he was here right now, at Fourtrees, the sun rising behind him. It was the sacred grounds, the place where the five clans met to be peaceful. And yet... and yet...

As he gazed around, a couple lavender flowers near his paws caught his eye. Some of the flowers were more like buds, covered by shells of the leaves that they were sprouting from. Others seemed to be in full bloom, their violet petals shining in the sunlight. He still remembered when Iniko taught him about what it did.

'It slows down breathing and soothes the mind. It's a very good calming herb.'

Actually, with all of the stress of the clan war, he needed his mind to calm down. And it probably wouldn't be bad just finding people. Putting his nose on the small purple flowers, the black tuxedo inhaled deeply, feeling the smell soothe him. If it was up to Rookfire, he would rest here for a few minutes, calm himself down, before going back to camp to sleep his thoughts off.

Of course, StarClan had other plans.

It had been while out on a patrol that Smallbean had picked up the scent. The patrol had split earlier, keeping within a general area. Smallbean has persued a rabbit, but then managed to pick up the smell of fresh Shadowclan, too fresh to have been from the past gathering. It made the deputy want to turn tail, to return to the patrol, but they were scattered, and there was no guarantee that it would be trouble... although, the chances were high.

Quickly, quietly stalking through the heather and tall grasses, Smallbean slinked towards Fourtrees; the origin of the scent. It was through a narrow sliver between tree trunks that he noticed movement, fur passing, a series of black and white. Hesitantly moving closer, he was able to get a better view. His anxiety rose as he did, but then the cat turned. Able to get a look at the cat's face, he realized it was Rookfire. At first, he wanted to approach him, talk to him as a friend, but he had to consider the possibility that Rookfire was against Windclan right now. That Rookfire was against him. So, he'd be careful.

Smallbean kept his distance as he padded out from the tall grass that coated Windclan's territory. As he approached, he made sure to step on a twig, just to let Rookfire know he was there. "Hey, Rookfire. It's Smallbean." The tom made sure there was room for him to get away should the conversation go south. "What are you uh, doing here? Not that I'm opposed or anything. You can go to fourtrees if you please, but.. What brings you here?"

Rookfire heard a twig snap. Bolting up, the black tuxedo quickly relaxed when he saw who it was. Smallbean. Usually, he would have greeted him with a smile on his face, like he used to do whenever they met each other. However, this time he couldn't help but stay silent. What could he say? 'ShadowClan's planning to invade'? 'We want Batsong to step down'? Neither stance felt right, and he just wanted to avoid the topic all together right now.

He let out a deep sigh. Of course StarClan had decided to put Smallbean right here, just to push the question of his loyalties right in his face. And not just that... Rookfire could smell the fear scent coming from him. He'd never seen his friend... this anxious around him in moons, since they first ended up in the same Twolegplace, far away from the Clans. They grew so close back then, and they had good relations throughout ShadowClan and WindClan's alliance... but when it shattered, they fell distant. And the last thing that Rookfire wanted was to lose was his closest friend, but... but he knew that the upcoming conflict would tear them apart.

It made his stomach churn.

It made sense, though, since both of their clans were at the height of their tensions. And the calico tom probably had his own problems he had to deal with as WindClan's deputy as well. When Smallbean spoke, asking about Rookfire himself, the black tuxedo replied calmly. "I... I needed a break from camp," he replied, his voice not projecting as much as it usually did. Perhaps he had hoped to see Smallbean again, too, but he... he didn't know. "And what about you? Are you on a patrol, or are you just... taking a walk or something?" He hoped that Smallbean would be comfortable just... talking with him, like old time's sake, but he understood if the WindClan deputy didn't want to.

He just hoped it wouldn't lead to a fight.

The allowance of his presence made Smallbean feel comfortable enough to step forward. "Oh, um. Both, sorta. I split from a patrol a while back... They won't be any trouble." The fact that he felt the need to reassure that Rookfire wouldn't be ambushed made him sick. Although, he only did so because he had the same worries for himself. "You're alone?" The question was mostly to guarantee his safety. Roofire had said he needed a break from camp, so there probably wasn't any other cats around. At least, not of Shadowclan.

"Are you ... Okay?" Smallbean was never one who was good at providing emotional solace. It felt wrong, especially now, to see someone who was emotionally vulnerable. Rookfire was obviously bothered, and despite being friends for ages and living through some of the most difficult times of their lives together, the tension between their clans made the non-aggressive nature of their conversation feel tabboo. Although non-aggressive, it was tentative, hesitant. Smallbean knew it from his end, but he could also feel it from Rookfire's. They had a subconscious understanding. They were the same, in a way. It hurt, given their past.

"Uh, I can leave, if you need. I didn't mean to intrude on anything..." He didn't feel unsafe, but as if he were trespassing. Trespassing on land that was neutral. How strange. Slowly, the Windclanner padded closer to Rookfire, still hesitant.

Well, it seemed like Smallbean wasn't going to attack him. That was always good.

When Smallbean asked about if he was alone, Rookfire gave him a nod. "Yeah. I left alone." He could feel the tension emanating from both of them, their clans seemingly motioning to a brutal conflict. He hated it, hated it, hated it.

His emotions usually never got the best of him like this. Not like this, at least. Usually, his emotions boiled up into a fierce anger, a fire that burned his tears and worries away. This time, though, his anger couldn't cleanse him of his vital emotions like it usually did, like he had burnt up all of the sticks that fueled the fire, leaving his sorrow stuck in the bottom of his stomach.

Was he okay...?

"I'm... I've..." He didn't know. He always said he was fine, that he was alright. He remembered his oath to Murkystar, that he'd uphold the warrior code, that he'd protect and defend his clan even at the cost of his life. Back then, it seemed so easy.

Now, it was the hardest thing in the world.

"I... I don't think I am." That was the truth, or at least he felt like it was the truth. He wasn't okay with fighting Smallbean. He could not fight Smallbean. Even... even if WindClan attacked ShadowClan first... Rookfire might still have trouble fighting him. And honestly, he never thought that his loyalties would be torn like this.

Even still... "Actually, if you don't mind, Small..." the black tuxedo started. "I... I'd like to hang out a little bit longer, just in case..." Just in case this is the last time. If they both survived the war, he hoped that they would be able to talk like friends again - and it felt like Smallbean felt the same way - but he didn't know if that would be reasonable, with their clans' tensions. And that was if they both came out of it in one piece.

The black tuxedo wanted to talk with Smallbean about something, but his usual topic starter of 'How's WindClan doing' would be very tone-deaf with the current situation. The black tuxedo turned to his surroundings to give him a topic starter, before landing his gaze on the sun rising. "It's a very pretty sunrise, don't you think?"

Upon hearing that Rookfire had come to Fourtrees alone, Smallbean let out a sigh of relief. Rookfire could be lying, of course, but he trusted the word of his oldest friend. He hoped it wasn't the wrong decision. Tentatively, he allowed himself to lower his guard. He let Rookfire become his focus rather than his surroundings.

Patiently, he stood, ears raised as Rookfire struggled to get out an answer. When it finally came, after internal reflection, he assumed, Smallbean was surprised to hear a stark contrast to what he'd normally get in reply. It was rare that a cat admitted if they weren't okay, rather than opting for 'i'm fine' or something of the like. The windclanner appreciated his honesty, but felt bad about the vulnerability Rookfire showed, for some reason. He nervously shifted his paws.

When the Shadowclanner spoke again, he looked up, meeting his gaze. "Oh, yeah.... Of course." Slowly, he padded closer, sitting down beside the other tom. Letting his eyes fall closed, he let out a long, pained sigh. It frustrated him that they had to be tense like this, that they had to worry about talking as anything other than enemies. Sometimes, he wished that he was a medicine cat again, immune to the clashes and grudges between clans. Now, though, he was in the middle of it all. More so than he was moons ago when he'd just returned.

A bright beam of light peeked over the now dark orange horizon. The sun began to rise. So much time had passed, it seemed. It was then that Smallbean remembered that Shadowclan cats were active during the night. That Rookfire was probably going to be as tired as he was when they returned home. "It is." He whispered, not wanting to disturb the morning's tranquility. After a prolonged period of silence, he spoke, eyes locked on the horizon as it slowly shifted. "Do you want to talk about it?" He didn't expect an answer. Maybe just the silent company of an old friend would be enough to calm his nerves, even if only temporarily. Even though the tensions between their respective clans couldn't be higher, Smallbean felt ease in Rookfire's comfort. In this moment, he felt at peace. It wouldn't be for long, he knew, but for now it would be enough.