conferring breath [closed]

thrushpaw

After what he had learned from Badgermask, as well as gathering his own thoughts since the Gathering, Thrushpaw figured it was best he did not jump to conclusions too quickly. The most confusing of all was Fawnshine, however. She was their medicine cat, was she not? So why had even she not been able to predict such events? He had wished, perhaps, that she would tell him something along the way to the Moonstone journey and back, but he was too lost in thought for it. Guilt weighed him down, and he blamed himself for his mother not trusting him, or his siblings enough to tell of such truths. It was code-breaking, sure, but he was her son. It was only right he had the right to know.

His trail of thoughts was snapped short when his mother approached him, her tired figure being much in contrast to her usual confident, leader-like one. She is only just another cat, he thought to himself, Be under too much pressure, and one would break. It was something so easy to realize that even a kit could come to a conclusion itself, but Thrushpaw had only just come to the conclusion now. Mottlestar was still his mother—a noble warrior before she became their leader, one who had come to grow from being an inexperienced apprentice, and kit just like he was before. The thought was a bit comforting, yet shattering at the same time, to know they didn't have so many differences as he thought. She had always been his model figure—a dependable, strong mother, and leader the clan could rely on.

"Yes, you do," Thrushpaw spoke softly, yet his voice held a hint of firmness in it as if he had already been expecting an explanation. If it were Firefly, Rosepaw, or any of his other siblings, he believed they would've easily scoffed at her and turned her away. But despite all of it, he still was empathic. He wished not to say any of his thoughts too soon, and so he rose, following Mottlestar to wherever he intended to lead him.

thrushpaw

"You had lost your what?" Thrushpaw paused in the midst of his steps, ears flattening in horror at the news. He had been so occupied in attempting to call back Firefly when chaos had happened, he had only caught sight of his clanmates assisting his mother back to camp afterward. He didn't what caused her to lose another life, nor did he know how she lost it, but it pained him to hear such a thing. And the guilt only furthered onto him as he heard her story. "Oh, mother..."

Shaking his head, he walked beside her again, processing each thought that went through his head along with the information provided by his mother. So Minnowfin's not my father. The realization came all too late, leaving a bitter taste in his throat as he heard the news. The initial shock that arose in him in the Gathering came once again, growing stronger each time Mottlestar introduced something new. "So... My father is in fact, Nightstar?" It hurt, knowing that his mother was dishonest to him and his siblings. But through her explanation, it didn't seem as if she knew, either.

Thrushpaw pressed his maw against the soft fur of her neck, purring softly to soothe her emotions. To say he felt conflicted about his identity would be an understatement—but he figured Mottlestar didn't need to know that. She had handled enough on her own, and gone through much more pressure than any cat could handle. She was a fantastic warrior, mother, and leader at the same time. He couldn't blame anything on her love for him and his siblings. He never once doubted it, even in such moments.

"I'm sorry to hear that Minnowfin hasn't returned, Mom. I just... I always thought... I'd never been a half-clan cat," He muttered weakly, his whiskers drooping as he spoke. When they had reached the Owl Tree, the tom sat beside her, resting his head gently atop her own. At the mention of Batsong, his fur bristled with spite. He pulled back with slight scorn, his expression frustrated in a way that could be so naturally understood; especially by Mottlestar, out of anyone. "That wasn't your fault. You were just—Nightstar took
advantage of you. And Batsong, that wasn't her place to talk, either, even if she was a medicine cat! She scorned you in front of the entire five clans! She could've at least talked to you and Nightstar alone or something, I don't get why she had to scream out to the entire forest about it."

Thrushpaw held back a hiss, his tail lashing at the mere thought of the memory. "Even if it wasn't directly her fault, she still caused you enough backlash to make you lose a life. If that isn't serious, I don't know what is. I don't know why StarClan didn't intervene," He sighed, his gaze softening to a look of empathy again. "Even if you don't believe it, I know what my sisters and our clanmates said was true. You are by far, the best leader ThunderClan has ever seen. And even if it may be a little biased, since you're my mother, but... If Comfreyheart and Fawnshine had already said so, then I believe everyone else thinks the same."

Thrushpaw allowed a brief moment of silence so that Mottlestar could reply, his fur flattening again. Maybe it was out of his place to criticize a medicine cat, but it was clear from the chaos that her words elicited from the clans proved that he was correct, at least in some part of the context. "It may be too soon for me to say this now, but even if Firefly doesn't forgive you... I do. I still see you as my mother, a leader, and an honorable cat. My sisters won't take it easy for sure, but I know this is harder on you than anyone else."

He leaned forward to offer a comforting lick on her ear, his heart aching at the sight of the tears she had shed. "There's just something else I want to ask. Not all that related, but... Firefly and I have talked about this before. Why haven't I gotten my warrior name yet? I mean, I don't think Eveningmoon is as strict as Darkspirit could be, and he trains me well. Is there another reason?"

thrushpaw

"You have more than proved to me now that you are ready. Tell you what, Thrushpaw... What if you were to pick your name? What do you believe your warrior name should be?"

The suggestion caught him by surprise, though a pleasant one. Thrushpaw hadn't really thought about it before; he'd always assumed that the leader or the mentor of the to-be-named apprentice would be the one in charge of granting them a new name, but she was right. What if he did get to choose his own name? Mottlestar was allowing him the choice now, yet his mind was empty. It wasn't easy to think of a fitting name all of a sudden, that was for sure, though he was the one holding his own fate in his paws now. It made him feel special, in a way, that his mother has trusted him that much with deciding his warrior name. Even if she didn't, however, he would be pleased with whatever decision she chose.

"It's my choice to make now, huh?" He mused, returning his mother's kind smile with a warm one of his own. Thrushpaw took a while to think of the possible combinations that would work for his name, ones that would fit, and the others that would not. After a few more seconds of thought, he nodded, speaking up with a smile. "There's 'Thrushcall' and 'Thrushflight' that I've been thinking of—they might work accordingly, with my prefix as 'Thrush', the bird. Or perhaps, 'Thrushsoul', I think that also has a meaningful energy to it." The tom paused again, thinking to himself. The names he has listed above sounded beautiful, but they weren't quite... him, he felt.

"Actually, no. How about... 'Thrushnose'?" The name sounded simple, yet endearing to him, popping up in his mind the moment he compared it with the other names. "What do you think?"

thrushpaw

Pride surged in Thrushpaw's chest after Mottlestar had finished speaking, allowing himself to sink into the realization of just how dear the name he'd chosen out in a variety of options had carried such a deep meaning to her. He didn't know at all he'd be entrusted to live up to such a name. It was almost a frightening thought at first, to have to remain as noble as someone like her once he would have earned his full warrior name. A mother of a leader for generations after to live on, and take over. Would I ever be so deserving to take after such a name?

Yet the moment his mother's nose rested atop his head, all the doubt that had been swirling in his mind diminished, as if suddenly blessed by the stars for his head to be ensured of his fate. He caught sight of her tear-stained eyes, motherly smile, and soft purr. If anything, she thought Mottlestar was incredibly fortunate to have gotten to be mentored by such a she-cat. And, he vowed silently to himself that he would not disappoint her. After all, this was such a grand thing. How could he take it lightly?

"You are the only cat I could think of who could ever fill her pawsteps. I would be honored to pass her name onto you, my son."

With the warmest purr he can muster back to his mother, the apprentice leaned forward to nuzzle into the comforting warmth of the she-cat's neck, resting his head on her shoulder. He had to lean down a bit in order to do so, but he paid no mind to it if he could return her affection. "Thank you, mother." He paused, for just a few seconds more. "I love you."

That was his own way of saying he won't disappoint her.