where paths split [c]

Everything put her on edge these days. Every little snap of a twig, every little rustle of the leaves. All of it was in some deep-rooted paranoia that what would emerge from the foliage was a nightmare she had long fought to shake. Had worked gruelingly against her mind, day in and day out, to assuage a fear that had become nothing more than a fairytale. Bloodstrike had been exiled, with Beechfang accompanying him. She held no sense of ill will against the latter of the two, if anything fully understanding that she simply followed where her loyalties resided. But when it came to the former? There was a scar that ran deep. Much, much deeper than the roots of the trees of her homeland, of the bonds that inevitably forged the two cats together. She hated it, had taken many attempts at severing that bond. But no matter what she did, it was always there, always a threat she was forced to face in the patches of water that found themselves littering Skyclan's territory. In the way she went about her life, in the decisions that she made.

It got to a point she had filed it away in her mind. Something to no longer truly impact her daily life, even if it permanently altered who she was and how she existed. It was why, when the news had been delivered, Moonlily had immediately moved her den away from Skyclan's camp. Even with the return of two more faces that should have brought her solace, it only brought her more panic. She had forced her claws to be sheathed as she had caught her leader a few sunrises ago, feeling small as she had passed along the question.

"Birdstar, will you please meet with me by the creek? I... need to talk."

She had waited by the creek, a day or two passing. Moonlily held no doubts that Birdstar had been busy, not even batting an eye as it had taken a day or two for her leader to show up. It didn't bother her in the slightest, and she'd taken to waving in greeting to Falconpaw during his evening patrols whenever he came by. Life went on. It went on without her. If anything, it brought her the solace that her choice wasn't about to be of some detriment to the clan. They'd go on without her, certainly. It was just time to finally make that choice.

She had hoped for Birdstar's appearance to bring her more comfort. To bring her a sensation that she could hold close to her chest without pain, to calm the storm that raged on inside. But instead, it brought the opposite. Running feelings of regret, of desperation, of a situation that she wanted to wake up from replaced any comfort that she prayed would come. For such a large molly, she seemed rather timid. Far too timid to be the experienced warrior that she truly was, who fearlessly slept outside of camp each and every night. She should have been stronger in appearance, but it was like the glass had been shattered and there was no hope of gluing it back together.

Sitting up straighter, the molly allowed herself time to ground herself into the dirt as Birdstar spoke. It was true, there was no use in formalities that extended beyond what was due. They both knew what they were here for. "Hi. ... Thank you for coming." She began with. The least that Moonlily could do was appear dignified before her leader, especially as she had asked for Wolfblossom to not appear alongside her. It would just make it easier. "Yes... you're more likely right than not." It was an unfortunate turn of events, certainly.

"I do not want to make this hard in any manner, or a fight of who stays and who goes. I recognize his place here, as well as that of my mother and brother. But in turn, I... I cannot promise that my existence as a member of this Clan is the best option for safety. Birdstar, I fully recognize within myself that I am unable to keep an oath that I will not hurt another clanmate, and I know you are aware of who I refer to." She spoke swiftly, and the words felt diplomatic on her tongue. It was the best she could do without feeling as if her throat wanted to close, as if she wanted nothing else than to run. Moonlily held her gaze to Birdstar's, but the respect was there. "For all of the moons of progress I have made, they have failed me. I request your permission and blessing to leave Skyclan immediately, on good terms, and to not come back. When I became a warrior, I took an oath to protect my Clan, and this is the best way that I can fulfill that. By not staying where I know I may exist as a danger."

She took a heavy breath, the words having left her tongue. There was no going back from here. "Yewfrost has been a wonderful companion to me, and I cannot speak on his behalf. But I must also make you aware that there... is a chance that he may follow my leave, too."

The moment of connection that the two mollies shared was fleeting, but it was more than enough that Moonlily needed for closure. She dipped her head, and she expected the words to burn more. But if anything, it simply felt... right. This was the path she needed to take, both for her Clan, and for herself. "It is. Thank you, Birdstar, for understanding. And I give my thanks to Skyclan for offering me this home, for all of the moons I have been proud to dedicate myself to this Clan." It was all that she had to say, it was all that there was to say.

Lifting her head back up, as small as she still felt, she was able to offer a weak smile. "May Starclan light your path, Birdstar, as I know it already shines bright." It was her final goodbye. There was only one last effort to take care of - Yewfrost. So the molly dipped her head in respect one last time before taking her path towards where she had been calling home. It was once her back was to Birdstar that the tears ebbed at the corner of her vision, and she didn't make any attempt at blinking them away. Birdstar understood.

Moonlily of Skyclan was no more... she was simply Moonlily.