nothing looks the same in the light [C]

Dayquill

 
Nerves prickled under Dayquill's fur, making his paws work nervously against the sandy earth and his fur bristle from nape to tail tip. He was an anxious cat, and had been for much of his life, but it did not bother him, it was just how he was. This, though, it was... it was a different kind of anxiety. It wasn't just anxiety– no, this was dread. Dread. His stomach turned, and Dayquill bit on his tongue to give himself a sensation to focus on.

Blazefang had accepted to be his mate. She'd even be the one to suggest coming to ThunderClan– which was great! He hated the thought of her staying in WindClan, so far from him, even though he would've done anything to be with her. But that meant he needed to tell Mottlestar, someone who had placed her trust and friendship in him, who had always respected him, that he had broken the warrior code, that he had gone behind her back. Not only that, but Blazefang was likely pregnant. The thought made his head spin. Pregnant. Not even with his own kits, but– hopefully –they would be raised as if they were.

He was admitting to breaking Mottlestar's trust, and begging to haul a maybe-pregnant she-cat down from Highstones to join ThunderClan, bringing nothing but WindClan blood with her, in the midst of forest-wide disaster. And right after Mottlestar's return, too– didn't she have enough to worry about without this? But no, it couldn't wait.

Dayquill sucked in a breath between his teeth and pushed himself to stand. Skirting what clusters of his Clanmates were gathered, he sought out the familiar tortoiseshell pelt of his leader. When he found her, he ducked his ahead to avoid her eyes and softly called, "Mottlestar, are you– are you too busy right now? Would you... could we take the time to talk?"

Dayquill

Blessedly, Mottlestar did not deny him– though Dayquill doubted she would, anyway –getting slowly to her paws to lead them away from the bulk of the Clan. Quietly, with anxiety churning in his stomach, he padded alongside the tortoiseshell. When they stopped and she spoke again, gentle as she always was, the concern in her voice only made him feel more sick. Mottlestar, his siblings, all of ThunderClan– they didn't deserve his betrayal. But, he was past the point of being able to hide anything, and he wanted to be open besides. Inhaling deeply, Dayquill closed his eyes and readied himself to speak.

"So, I- for the last few moons or so– probably longer than that, actually, seasons might be better? I've been... seeing, a cat from WindClan, her name's Blazefang and she's really- oh, she's great. It– Mottlestar, I promise, it was just being friends to start! Really, we'd uh, we'd hang out at Gatherings and sometimes run into each other at Fourtrees and then we... started making plans to meet at Fourtrees, and," he paused, just a second, to refresh his lungs, "and now Mottlestar, we're mates which is fine and all if you just, uh, ignore the fact that it's not but, she's expecting kits." Almost immediately, his eyes flew open wide, and he hurriedly added, "They're– they're not mine! She- she offered to be a surrogate, for a friend, but uh... I think the friend fell through."

Dayquill ducked his head again to avoid Mottlestar's gaze, focusing instead on the shape of his own forepaws. That was all of it– or at least, the important parts of it, messily spilled all at once. "She... wants to move to ThunderClan. She brought it up before even mentioning the uh, the.. kits, to me. "I'm sorry for- for breaking the code and lying to you Mottlestar, I... I really am. But I– well, I love her. And I.. would... I would appreciate it, if you would at least... think about it? She'll be a good warrior, I promise, and– and I'll accept whatever punishment there is, just," Dayquill's blue eyes were shining with emotion when he finally looked, pleading, to his leader, "please."