as a light is lost in light [closed]

The bleakness of frosted morning seemed to crunch in the air around Tanglerose's wiry, ruffled coat. She pressed her chest to the dry wind, wandering out while her clanmates (if she could call them that anymore, and she was quite loathe to, as they scorned her regardless) slept the day through. Iniko was in and out, but she wished he wasn't. Every time he left her she felt like a twitterpated apprentice, glowing green with jealous rage. Though, she did not imagine the cats he was courting, though, rather the life he lived beyond the occupation of ShadowClan. He had promised her safety and freedom, and thus far, she felt lacking in both. She didn't blame Iniko, or the Asylum. It was a curse, the weight of which she had to bear as long as she was a warrior. Truth be told, she felt farther from ShadowClan than ever. She knew how they looked at her. Ever since the Asylum swept in, the other warriors took immediate notice of her status shift. Tanglerose had immunity. Untouchable, on threat of death. It wasn't very conducive to positive clan interactions.

Tanglerose supposed that was why she couldn't sleep, and why she was seeking him out in the first place. She couldn't live like this, wrapped up in two worlds that refused to blend, as the Asylum had hoped. The crossroads she now faced had a clear path marked for her, and yet, she felt the sudden unfettered terror of slipping into an abyss, into what was unknown. Change was not something that came easy for her. But, for Inik, for a future, to follow in the path of her ancestors, she supposed she could make an exception.

"I hope you're not leaving," she rasped to the large calico tom, halting him in his path. "I, uh... Don't you want something to eat? Did you try a frog yet? On my left ear, it's not as bad as it looks." Tanglerose found her eyes meeting his. Sage green, both soft and rough, like a river shell. Born-and-bred Asylum cats, the ones who had not come from conquered forests, had a certain look about them that Tanglerose had never seen before. It was not like her certain look, which was as plain as the morning sun on the hills; Inik's was subtle. It was the difference between pine and fir needles, in that it was only noticible from the distance between the two cats now. Whiskers away. She quietly refused to relent, burning bright into his irises. She would not be the first to turn away. There was no more room for shyness in this place. "I want to know more about your kind and your ways. Tell me everything... and tell me why you didn't capture me with the rest."

Originally, intent had him headed for Skyclan territory. While it was growing to be tiring, the tom was driven by a sense of duty. Shadowclan was where he was stationed but with Dawnhawk's assimilation to Asylum being so fresh, Iniko merely sought to lend an experienced paw. But Tanglerose had other plans for him it seemed. He was more than happy to oblige. There was an unreadable flash of emotion across his gaze as the realization dawned on him - for as much as he had long thrown himself into a life of secure dedication, truly his allegiance was now to the she-cat before him. Perhaps she didn't know how truly her claws had wrapped themselves around his soul; Iniko himself had hardly begun to recognize it. Immediately, the direction for the day was changed with the whisper of a few words across the breeze.

A smile crossed his maw. So their union was to happen under the pretense of a shared meal and some casual conversation. Iniko wouldn't deny the natural pull that tugged his paws closer, "I certainly won't deny a meal but... you'll have to teach me how to eat a frog." Similar to their previous encounter, the calico padded to her side and rounded the gray warrior, coming up next to her injured ear. Of course, she already knew his gaze would have flickered to such a there. There was a brief flicker of his tongue as he rasped it over the wound and simultaneously drew just close enough that their pelts brushed, "We can eat and talk, Tanglerose, if that is what you desire. My time is entirely yours to keep."

His pawsteps pulled away, leading the pair the distance towards the freshkill pile. One claw pierced the flesh of a frog before the captain settled down. His tail was strewn out behind him and head tilted in anticipation for the warrior to join him. Surely, if she were to press her pelt to his, the tom was prepared to rest his feathered tail on the small of her back. Their paws had been separated by two different worlds for some time now. How long had she invaded his thoughts and ensnared his soul? There was a lightness about his pelt, a sensation that seemed to only grace him with its presence when Tanglerose was around. Everything else seemed to drift away. For once, there was annoyance at the duty that nagged and tugged at his coat persistantly. He ignored it in favor of her.

"Tell me exactly what you wish to know and I will give you every possible answer I may have. As for why, well... I think you might already have the answer to that, my dear."

The she-cat's lips pulled up in a grin as he accepted her invitation. She laid the meal down between them and ran a claw along the skin of the frog, watching the springy flesh spring up and peel back. "You really want the legs," she explained. "The skin is a little chewy and bitter, but in Leafbare, it'll fill you up quicker than anything else you can scrounge up. Though... I guess I won't have to scrounge for much longer, right?"

Tanglerose abandoned the frog. She couldn't feign disaffection with this tom, hard as she might try. The way she fell over herself just for a moment of his time disgusted her, but, in some way, it was relief. It was weight, lifted. She did not indulge in much, except this. One thousand emotions fluttered in her eyes, fracturing and shattering beneath the surface of her face, with every muscle twitching in the flurry of words that she had not the wherewithal or vocabulary to say. How could she describe the reckless abandon that she felt every time he blinked, or his whiskers moved? How she longed to run atop the Jaggedrock and swear her love, life, and liberty to all he had or wanted of her, just for the satisfaction of hearing his heart through his thick, silky pelt in the lull of the evening? There were no words, and all she had to gift him was a simple act of kindness, which she had not done since her sister and she shared a nest. Tanglerose slowly peeled away the frog's skin, and offered Iniko a bare frog leg. "Watch the bones," she whispered.

She looked down at her own and began to mull over the questions she had been logging away. "Where do you stay when you're not in camp? Do you worship anything, at all? Will you stay here when the clans fall?" she rattled off between mouthfuls. "And, those pelts..."

Tanglerose lifted her head to look around camp, at the stunningly complex pieces of armor. She did not have an eye for aesthetics, but practically, the pelts were a work of true art. She had gotten quite near one, once. She admired its delicate arcitecture. It was a labor of love, forged and sewn with thorns, quills, and teeth. It was clean, and still colorful. It was true beauty, and for one moment she wondered how her reflection might look beneath the mask of a badger's maw. "How do you get a pelt?"