Old Faces, Same Feelings [C]

❒ Moons had passed by since the last time he had slept in his nest or had even interacted with other apprentices. It had all gone wrong the moment his mentor, Ratrunner, had been killed by a Dark Forest cat at a Gathering. Not long after that distressing event, Forestpaw had fallen ill. His anxiety and turmoil was at an all time high and in turn, his recovery was moving at a snail's pace. From his little pity-nest in the medicine cat's den he witnessed the Dark Forest takeover, his peers move on without him—his best friend move on without him, his clan fighting for their freedom, his clanmates dying... To say that he was feeling useless was a major understatement.

❒ Sighing for the umpteenth time, the tom shifted in his nest until he was no longer on his back. He hated how weak he felt. Actually, not just felt. He was most certainly weak. He gritted his teeth as he sat up, eyes portraying his frustration. The only good thing was that he was well on his way to resuming his apprenticeship. After it had been halted for a while, he was more than ready and eager to continue it. He had a lot of catching up to do. He had to do it quickly too.

❒ He rolled his shoulders to rid of the cricks in his neck and back but stopped the moment he heard pawsteps heading his way. It was probably just the medicine cats but a little part of him hoped it was someone else here just for him... Well... He was well aware that he wasn't too important to his clan. He was probably the biggest liability Shadowclan has seen in a long time. It would be best if they forgot an embarrassment like him. He could then be spared any more heartache... No! He had to stop all this wrong-think! He should be past that! He shook his head to fling away all those pesky thoughts. However, lately, it's been getting harder and harder to do so.

❒ The moment a familiar figure entered his sight, he felt himself freeze. Is that- No... Right? He was tempted to just bite himself so the illusion could be dispelled quickly. He'd had these types of cruel hallucinations before and this was probably one of those, right?

❒ Confusion only grew within him when not-Iceheart hadn't evaporated into the air like other times. He squinted but it did nothing either. it was when not-Iceheart greeted him that he felt like something was not quite what he thought it was. Huh. That was new. His previous hallucinations never spoke to him before... He was snapped back to "reality" when maybe-Iceheart continued to speak. Seeing one of her rare smiles directed at him made something within him constrict and he had to swallow down the lump in his throat. He was tempted to not answer at all in case this was a crueler version of his imaginary friend but he unintentionally blurted out, "Y-You're real." His mouth clicked shut and he looked down in embarrassment. If this was Iceheart, she was probably more than confused right now. He had to try and rectify this.

❒ He cleared his throat and tried to offer her a smile in return but fell short. "H-Hey... Iceheart. I'm feeling better...?" It came out a bit more like a question but oh well. It was also a bit awkward but at least he tried. He was never not awkward anyway. "How... How have you been?" he asked with a cautious tone.

❒ Forestpaw felt the tension that had been plaguing him dissolve as Iceheart began to speak again—now settling into a more comfortable position. The gray-and-white tom's mind was no longer scrambled and wary. This was the real deal. This Iceheart wasn't an illusion conjured up by his jaded mind. This was his best friend... one of his only friends.    

❒ Iceheart's summary of what had occurred while he was ill had done some things to his heart. For one, he was more than ecstatic about his friend becoming a mentor. Honeypaw sounded like a sweet apprentice, like his namesake. He wouldn't mind meeting him one day. Secondly, being reminded of the Dark Forest was like a thorn being twisted into his chest. He nearly outwardly flinched but somehow managed to keep his composure. It was a miracle. Finally, Iceheart seemed guilty, sad almost. He hated seeing that on her. She shouldn't feel guilty about not visiting him. She wasn't obligated to do so by any means. He frowned, amber eyes softening. Iceheart had always been his rock and now, she was crumbling down like him.

❒ He felt a lump form in his throat. She had sounded so raw, so lost. He gritted his teeth. He had mourned and pitied himself for long enough. Just seeing Iceheart cracking snapped something inside of him. She didn't deserve to feel all this pressure, all this guilt. He wasn't going to let it consume her as it had been consuming him. He refused to let her blame herself. She had nothing to blame herself for. There shouldn't be anything she should blame herself for.

❒ The apprentice heaved himself up into a sitting position then onto his paws. He was shaky at first yet he didn't let that deter him. One paw after another the tom moved right up to Iceheart and only stopped once they were face to face. His eyes searched hers. He urged her to look at him. Once she met his gaze, he leaned forward and gently pressed his forehead to hers. "No," he began firmly, "You have nothing to be sorry for, Iceheart. You're my best friend and will always be no matter what happens. I don't care if you never visited me. That doesn't matter. What matters is that you're safe and you're here now." He let out a shaky breath before leaning back, a crooked smile overtaking his face. His eyes were misty but he paid them no mind. He had never seen clearer than at that moment."There was so much going on that needed your attention more. I understand. The clan should always come first. Our clanmates' lives, our freedom... That's all much more important than stopping by to see me. Besides, I was safe in here. The medicine cats looked after me when they could. I'm much better now. Soon, I'll finally be let out and I'll get to visit my old nest again. I also feel like my warrior ceremony is right around the corner so there's that to look forward to as well," he purred excitedly, a sincere expression on his face. He then pressed his cheek against hers as a way to comfort them both. "It's all okay, Iceheart... honestly," he whispered gently, "Let's both try not to blame ourselves anymore. I bet we've done plenty of that lately that will probably last us a lifetime!" He couldn't help but chuckle. They were both a mess yet in his eyes, they were one big beautiful mess together. He pulled away and gave her a small smile, eyes portraying interest. "So, when will I be able to meet your apprentice? He sounds lovely!"

❒ “You are important to me," He felt his heart lurch—felt it fill with more warmth than he'd ever have in his entire life. His breath hitched but he managed to stop the waterworks before they started again. Despite this, his eyes hadn't lost their misty sheen. They were as rebellious as always. Things seem to be better now much to Forestpaw's relief. Most things can be solved by taking the time to just talk and he wasn't going to forget this anytime soon. It was a lesson he'd needed to desperately learn.

❒ He let out a shaky laugh as he listened to his best friend speak. Meeting Honeypaw was becoming more and more enticing. Iceheart had smothered the worry that was slowly festering inside of him regarding Honeypaw. He felt reassured that Iceheart's apprentice wasn't going to dislike him in any way once they officially met. "I can't wait to finally earn my warrior name so we can make that happen! I wonder what my warrior name will be! I'm hoping for something... hmm... I don't know exactly what I want b-but I'm hoping for something that makes me feel calm..." He's had enough excitement to last him for moons. He shook his head with a giggle. "I know it's not up to me but doesn't mean I can't dream... Anyway, do you think I'd be able to have my nest next to yours? Just like old times? I-I miss sleeping close to you. It made me feel warm and cozy..." A bashful look crossed his face. He was aware that it was an odd thing he was hoping for but honestly, it was one of the things he was looking forward to. He missed being close to his best friend. They had drifted apart for a while and perhaps now that almost everything had settled again, they can begin healing together.

❒ His eyes lit up at the prospect that such a name could be a possibility for him. "Oh! That'd be more than lovely!" he purred with a wistful tone. "No matter what, though, I'd love any name given to me. Being a warrior goes much farther beyond just the name. It'll be all up to Frostgaze and I have faith that he will choose what is best for me." He sounded certain—just as certain as he actually felt. Frostgaze had been one of the cats who he'd first met as a kitten. He'd been nothing but kind and caring to him and his whole clan.

❒ "A patrol with us both as warriors is something I've been dreaming of! I can't wait to finally feel the air in my fur again and to stretch my legs. I might've gotten a bit rusty with hunting and all but it's nothing a little practice can't help with." He can just imagine himself running through the territory with Iceheart by his side as if nothing was wrong. Maybe young Honeypaw could accompany them! Maybe he'd get his own apprentice—just as Iceheart had said—and then the four of them could go out and just enjoy life. All this thinking was making him restless. He hoped he'd be out of there soon so he can at least continue his apprentice training.

❒ He turned to face his best friend once more, giving her one of his adoring looks. She was more than he could've hoped for and he felt privileged to have her by his side. "Well, I have to think about one thing at a time for now so my head doesn't twist itself stupid. For now, I'll focus my hardest on my recovery. Then, my training will be my priority so I can finally be a warrior like you. I missed being by your side. You were my first real friend and you mean a lot to me. I just hope that something like this doesn't happen again so we don't get separated. I-I was afraid that you'd leave me behind and never look back but I couldn't have been more wrong. You're here and you've given me the hope to move forward and make my clan proud." he admitted gently, a soft yet sincere expression on his face. "Once I'm better, I'll try not to be clingy but I can't make any real promises," he purred, letting out a small laugh in the process.

《OOC》VERY late last post for this topic. I just didn't want to leave it hanging like this and I noticed that I still had time to post in it before it would be considered an old topic! Thank you again for having done this with me! <3  

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❒ The young tom-cat couldn't help the laugh that had erupted from his chest. "I know that more than anything. I guess the sickness really messed with my head," he said, breathily. He looked away bashfully at her next words and nodded eagerly despite his prior shyness. "I-I'd love that! It really does get lonely here after a while." He allowed himself to be guided back into his nest and didn't stop the grin from forming on his face seeing his best friend settling down beside him. He, too, settled down. He pressed himself against Iceheart's side comfortably and a small sigh of contentment escaped him.

❒ He turned his attention back to Iceheart as she began to recount all the recent happenings within the clan. As if it was even possible, his heart swelled with even more adoration for his friend. She was doing what she could to keep his spirits up and it was working well. He couldn't wait to mentor someone in the future. It'd be an honor preparing the younger cats of the clan for their warriorhood. "Thank you for everything," he whispered with heavy emotion intermingled with his voice. He was so lucky to have Iceheart by his side. She was the best best friend anyone could ever have.