Dreamless Dreams [March Medicine Cat Meeting][Closed]

Myrtleturtle had been adjusting quite nicely to the life as the medicine cat. He found himself memorizing herbs and their uses rather easily, as well as training his paws how to gently apply the herbs as needed. From the warrior he was what only felt like sunrises ago, the difference in his demeanor was night and day. His steps picked up, he moved about the camp much more joyfully, and overall... He was just a happier tom.

Tonight was not such a night, though. His stature was much more collected, inward as if he were perpetually contemplating. It was the half moon, in which Muddythorn had told him that they would try to meet with Starclan. Since his ceremony, it seemed that there had been no other luck from himself or Muddythorn to reach the stars. It bothered him greatly, but, he put his faith in his mentors words. They would be back. It was all a matter of time. There was no possible way that an entire sky of ancestors, generations upon generations of cats, could simply be defeated and left for no one to find. Even with all of those who had fallen in recent times, surely, they too would have begun to ascend to the sky, right?

Shaking his head as he contemplated logistics, the younger tom gave his mentor a gentle nudge. "Shall we try to reach them tonight, Muddythorn?" He asked gently, sitting and curling his tail around his paws within his nest. The moon was high in the sky, and while it seemed farther than normal, its gentle light still felt rather comforting.

He then settled down within his own nest, tucking his paws up under his fluffy pelt. A drowsiness took over him, almost on cue. And as he shut his eyes... He feared what he would find. Yet again, it was the darkness that welcomed his dreams. A lost connection, an echochamber of hope. Instead of pushing his body to stir quickly, he opted to take the time to attempt to reflect within the emptiness. How was his training going? What could he do better for his Clan? At the very least, he could make something productive out of the otherwise disappointing night.

For the first time in a long time, Muddythorn's paws itched to travel to highstones. Firstly, it would take him away from camp whilst these shadows lurked everywhere, far enough away from Dawnhawk to try and forget everything that had happened. He hadn't taken the time yet to mourn Smokefeather either, and was doing the same as what he'd done when his father had died - working harder and trying to distract himself. Granted, this came in handy when training an apprentice. Secondly, it only felt right to be seeing the other medicine cats now. It was rare that they shared much, to Muddythorn's dismay, but it brought comfort to know there were other cats going through the same struggles. Hopefully they would all be trying the same thing tonight.

Muddythorn nodded as his apprentice talked to him, taking a nest beside the younger tom. Under his breath, he willed himself to believe it would work. "This time, this time they'll find us."

Sleep didn't come as quickly as it normally would on the half moon, and instead he fell into restless dreaming. And then it hit him. The void, of empty nothingness, a space that should be overflowing with colour and conversation, and most of all, answers. Gone.

He woke, and immediately stood up. This couldn't be happening. Surely the half moon should do something to make Starclan more reachable, so they could warn the medicine cats of what was to come. He glanced over to Myrtleturtle, and much to his disappointment, it didn't seem like his apprentice was having any luck. Instead of waking the ginger and white apprentice, he sat waiting, not wanting to disturb. When he woke, Muddythorn lifted his head, "Any luck?" he asked, voice full of hope.

He spent a decent time reflecting, allowing the questions to come and go from his mind. Eventually, he had to go back to the waking world - to the reminder that the void wasn't what he was supposed to be greeted with. The fluffy tom raised his head, his gaze happened to meet Muddythorn's at the same time. It was his question that saddened him. "No... It was the same abyss I was greeted with last time. You?" He wondered. Part of him secretly hoped that Muddythorn had been greeted with the darkness as well - so that he knew it wasn't something wrong with himself. Guilt rippled through Myrtleturtle's pelt at that idea, but... he couldn't help it.

Muddythorn shook his head sadly at Myrtleturtle's question. "I don't understand how though..." The medicine cat started, beginning to pace slightly in the small space of the den. "Starclan isn't something you can just kill. That makes no sense! Surely they're too powerful-" He stopped himself, realising he was starting to trail off in a panicked ramble. Maybe if they travelled to the moonstone, Starclan could reach them there. But at the end of the day, he would never risk his life like that. And he could never ask Myrtleturtle, as young as he was, to do the same.

"Maybe we just need to wait. Starclan won't let the Dark Forest reign much longer, and sooner or later, they'll be back. Although, the way things are going, I hope it's as soon as possible." The memory of Smokefeather flashed through his mind. He'd closed his eyes when it happened. He was a coward, and he knew that, but all he'd cared about then was saving Primroselight.