She's a Broken Lady [open, mourning]

Even though he was not in there anymore, Mistysky still found herself sitting outside of the medicine den, waiting for her brother to come out. She knew from her moonstone journey that Dreampaw was dead, Flamepaw had gone missing, and for all she knew he was gone too. She hadn't seen Softpaw since she first became an apprentice, same with Orangepaw. And Whisperingkit had died long before. Her parents also hadn't been around much. Berrypaw was all she had. He took care of her, from the tiniest thorn in her pad, to the day she lost her tail, and ever since. He was always there. She couldn't lose him, not so soon. Not after everything.

But she had.

Mistysky was just staring at an empty den now, no medicine cat left. Not that she cared about some stupid medicine cat. Not now. She just wanted her brother. Has StarClan forsaken her? Is this why she had to lose every cat? Stars, she would even be happy to have Flamepaw, she just needed someone. She just didn't want to be alone.

Is it too much for me to be happy? Is it too much for me to care for cats, to have family? I thought you were supposed to help us! I thought you were supposed to look out for us and keep us safe! Well you sure are doing a good job, now aren't you?

Claws dug into the ground, grief and rage surging through her as angry tears fell from her eyes. She needed someone to blame for all of this, so StarClan got to be the scapegoat of the day.

Scorchtalon limped into camp after a hunt, his prey dangling from his jaws and a throbbing pain in his paw. He'd slammed it too hard against a rock while pursuing his prey, though the pain was more of an annoyance than anything serious.

He was trying and failing to remember what medicine cats always did when someone had an injury when movement across the camp caught his eye. Mistysky, slouched outside the medicine den, her unsheathed claws evidence of her distress. He'd never been good at consoling others, and he wouldn't have even known where to start. But Mistysky had taught him everything he knew, and he felt compelled to help her.

The pain in his paw long-forgotten, Scorchtalon strode purposely over to his former mentor with his prey still in his jaws. It wasn't much, just a small rabbit that would barely feed one cat, let alone two. He dropped the prey at Mistysky's feet, nudging it towards her with a paw.

"You doing okay, Mistysky? If you want, we can share the rabbit... and you can maybe talk to me about what's bothering you? I may not be the most experienced at giving advice or anything, but if you need me to, I can try."

As a voice spoke next to her, Mistysky turned to see her former apprentice, a rabbit at his paws. Although what he was saying made her just stare, aghast, as she tried to formulate words. He must have known Berrypaw was dead? Had she not known this cat, she would have assumed he was toying with her. Instead, she figured he was stupid, and probably didn't know her relation to the medicine cat. Although she couldn't keep the anger out of her voice as she made to explain.

"Am I doing okay?! Berrypaw was my brother! The only family I have left, who took care o' me in my worst moments. And now he is dead! There is nothing okay about any of this! This ain't just bothering me, it is tearing me up inside. I shoulda been able to do something. But StarClan made him the medicine cat, and then they made him get sick, and left me here to watch, and suffer in the aftermath. So I would love to hear what advice ya have for me!"

Scorchtalon flinched at the anger in her tone, letting out a frustrated huff. Of course that was the wrong thing to do, couldn't he get anything right? He hadn't even been able to comfort Batsong, one of his closest friends in her time of grief, and he was foolish to think this time would be any different. He'd have been better off not even trying.

"I was just trying to help!" he snapped, frustration, as well as guilt, pouring out in his words.

"You think any of us like knowing that he's gone and no one can do anything about it?? None of us can bring him back, and getting angry with cats who try to help you isn't going to change that!"

As soon as the words were spoken he regretted them, realizing that yelling at her probably wouldn't help. Still, it took an effort to calm down, his apology coming out through gritted teeth.

"Look, I'm sorry. That was clearly the wrong thing to say. I can see that you, uh, need some space right now, so I'll leave you be. Eat the hare if you want, if not I suppose you can just toss it into the pile for someone else." Scorchtalon gave Mistysky an awkward nod, before turning and slipping away.

Mistysky whirled around in a heartbeat, in an absolute blinded rage. "Don't ya dare try to pretend like ya know how it feels! If he wasn't ya medicine cat, none of y'all would have even batted an eye at his death! But he ain't just the medicine cat! He was my littermate! That is a pain ya could never even begin to imagine! Ya got Fawnsong, and Woolypaw! And ya still got your mother Hentooth! Ya ain't even come close to feeling this loss, so don't try to sympathize with me when ya can't!"

She turned her back to her former apprentice, just as he was getting ready to leave. "Keep ya stupid rabbit. I ain't hungry anyway." Who did Scorchtalon think he was? Well, she didn't need him anyway.

OOC: Bold parts are batsongs thoughts not her words.

IC:
Batsong had seen the encounter from a distance and although she could not hear every word the actions of them gave a pretty good indication of what had just happened. Sighing with a heavy heart she slowly approached Mistysky.

She looked at her with wide sad eyes... she knew what this felt like.... well not directly a brother per say but the pain rather that came with that... the pain of being the survivor and the one left behind. The guilt of thinking about if there was something different you could have done to change the events that lead up to it... the bitterness of fealing so empty inside and abandon by the ones who were always supposed to be there for you.

She wished this feeling on no cat. It pained her that this had happened to Mistysky... the cat who had taken her under her wing so to speak when this had happened to her.

Her voice was so choked up currently but she did her best to talk.

"I-i-i... i'm so s-s-s... the words refused for now and she silently curesed herself ...

why can't you speak like a normal cat Batsong! she hissed in her mind at herself

She tried again, .... "I'm so s-sorry m-m-mom" she stuttered heavily...

Her eyes widened... duhhh had she uhh just called Mistysky mom? ... the m hung in her throat and the stutter made her so nervous when speaking and it just sorta slipped out accidently. Blinking rapidly she groaned internally

Starclan Batsong... you are so bad at everything you do she bashed herself thinking.

she ignored it best she could and hoped Mistysky would not take offence at it...hmm maybe she would not even notice? ,.. unlikely given Batsongs luck it would appear.

Pushing that aside she got closer to her and sighed resting her tail on Mistysky's shoulder.

she thought of trying to come up with something more to say to try and comfort Mistysky but decided against it seeing as how she had a hard enough time talking normally as it was... there was nothing she could say to make this any easier... she knew all to well that this pain was not something that ever truly went away. So instead, Batsong sat next to her brushing up against her lightly.

"i-im h-h...here for you... she said quietly

but j-j... just tell me if you wa-want me to go... I u-understand if you do

Scorchtalon had gone, and another voice replaced his, one she knew well. She turned to see Batsong, feeling guilty that the black molly had to see her like this. She was supposed to be taking care of her. She was older, she was supposed to be stronger.

And here she was, bawling like a kit. And yet in all her grief, the word mom did not pass over her head. Her eyes widened at the use of the term, but found she didn't mind. If Batsong wanted her to be a mom, well it wasn't much different than what she already did.

But that made what she did next even worse in her mind, but she couldn't help it. She rested her head into her, erm, daughter's?, shoulder. And she let herself cry into her fur. She didn't say anything, she assumed the action alone was answer enough for Batsong to know whether Mistysky wanted her to stay or not.

Batsong did notice Mistysky's eyes widen at the word and she flinched slightly... but Mistysky ... did not seem to mind? This relived Batsong immensely... She always looked up to Mistysky alot and she was always there taking care of Batsong. As an apprentice Batpaw had floundered around trying to practice fighting with her and she had been so patient with her, not to mention keeping a close eye on her at several other times... perhaps it was not just her stutter that had caused Batsong to call her mom but rather a subconscious feeling??

Before she could keep overthinking and overanalyzing every little thing she was nuzzled into which was for sure a good thing, Mistysky resting on her shoulder sobbing. Batsong nuzzled in close to Mistysky and kept her tail wrapped around her.

"I- k-k...know this is super hard" she spoke so quietly that some of the words may not have actually been hearable

"I-- I d-dont know why s-starclan does this to us" she added on just as quietly looking up at the sky.

She did not know why starclan did a lot of things ... like why were the clans seperate? Why did they take berrypaw so young? .... And then the question that hit close to home, why didn't they allow for cross clan relations? She thought of Slightpaw and how much she missed him she was constantly thinking of the the Skyclan tom... she had not told anyone and did not plan to as that would get her in a world of trouble. Blinking a couple times she refocused on the present.

She tried so hard to think of anything to say but it was super difficult... finally she attempted something

"t-t...thank you" she started
"For always b-b... being there f--for me.... I know it d-doesnt seem like much... but it m-m...means the w-world to me... i'm so sorry he's g-gone"

She stayed with her in silence after that, her tongue too tied to say anything beyond that and her throat was all choked up too from the heavy situation.

For the most part, Mistysky had not responded to the things Batsong was saying. She had no answers to give, at least not that Batsong would want to hear. Although it seemed as though their thoughts aligned, with a common blame towards StarClan, Batsong didn't need to know just how much she hated them in that moment. That wasn't fair to her, she deserved to have her own opinions.

The pair sat in silence for a few heartbeats, and Mistysky was perfectly fine with that. It gave her time to calm down, gather her thoughts some. She was thankful of Batsong's presence. Unlike Scorchtalon, Batsong had felt loss, (and was a lot more tactful with her words, although she would have to remember to apologize to Scorchtalon later). Mistysky felt more comfortable in Batsong's company because of this, because she could truly understand what Mistysky was feeling, although it was not something she would wish on anyone, a selfish part of her was glad to not be suffering alone.

Batsong spoke up again, and this time it caught her off guard. But then she gave the black she-cat a soft smile. "Ya don't got to thank me. Seein' ya the way you were, I would never leave ya alone like that. You are too good a cat to deserve to be alone. The best of us all, I would say."

She paused in her speech, letting her gaze drift into the distance. "Ya know, ya made me realize somethin', Batsong. I thought I did, but I ain't lost everything yet, have I? As long as you're around, I still got me some family. And I do think of ya as family, Batsong. Everything I had ever done for ya, I would do again in a heartbeat. Honestly, if it weren't for you, I don't got a clue where I would be right now, I just know I would be in a far worse place. I like to think you saved me." Looking back at Batsong, a few tears still lingering in the corners of her eyes, she gave another, genuine smile. She didn't fully realize it until the words came out of her, but she meant every word of what she said. She was better off for having this she-cat in her life.

Batsong teared up hearing Mistysky say this. A flood of mixed emotions flooded her and she wasnt sure what she was even feeling at this point. All she knew is that what Mistysky had said was absolutly true. Although not by blood, they were family and they were far better off with each other in life than alone. She nodded and gave a small grin back.