more to prove with every breath [o]

Thalia was - well, mostly she was confused, still lost at how easy it had been for Flintstar to take her back to the ShadowClan camp. It wasn't like she had any ill intent, but... Well, she'd expected more suspicion, more hostility. She traced over the words she'd said in her mind, trying to push aside the embarrassment she felt. What had she been thinking, exactly? She was starting to think it was a miracle that she'd gotten as far as she had on her own.

She surveyed her new surroundings with an equal measure of apprehension and curiosity, recalling that first night arriving in WindClan's camp - but she wasn't Theron, and despite the fox pelt over her shoulders (something she could never sacrifice, for just how precious it was) she wasn't with the Asylum now. She was Thalia, just trying to piece together who Thalia was supposed to be.

"You know that fox pelt is going to take some getting used to."

Batglow spoke up as he returned from a border patrol. The pelt had caused him to do a double take as he returned to camp thinking somehow Asylum had come back but then he remembered the news that had spread like wildfire. Flintstar accepted Thalia into the clan which the warrior had no issue with. As long as they were willing to work for the clan and prove their loyalty that is. Which the fanged tom was sure she would.

"So how are you taking it? Getting used to the Marsh? I know it took me sometime to get used too when I first got taken in but.. It becomes home quickly enough." The lanky tom made his way beside the She-cat before settling down a safe distance away. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable, just wanted her to feel welcome.

"I guess there's a lot of things to get used to for all of us," Thalia mused, trying to push past her hesitation. She'd still half-expected sharp claws and sharp teeth, but now the first cat to approach her had offered neither. It wasn't easy to convince herself there was nothing to be afraid of - there was a whole clan of cats she hadn't yet met, after all - but it was getting easier to convince herself to stay where she was, to not run at the first sign of fear. "I'm pretty sure I'll get used to it eventually. It's nicer than the moor, though - WindClan's territory is so open, it always made me nervous. And now I don't have to worry about the weight of ThunderClan's expectations, though I do think I'll miss the river..."

Something else caught her attention, though. "Wait - you weren't born here, either?"

Batglow couldn't imagine living in the open moor like Windclan. He had seen the territory enough times on patrol but already being that close made him uncomfortable. The marsh was his home. Something he had come to love. Batglow shook his head. "No. I was abandon in the deep marshes as a kit." The black tom said, his tone on the situation neither here not there. It didn't effect him really. He found his home here. "Mothglow, the clan's previous medicine cat, found me and took me in. Flintstar allowed me to stay. They gave me a second chance, and I have been loyal ever since." It was why he was so open to second chances for others. If they wanted to try again with Shadowclan then he would do anything he could to support them.

"I don't remember too much before then though.. Everything is a foggy memory. I was young but not too young." Maybe one day he could get his answers on his old family. "It's not a similar situation, I didn't join when I was older, but I'm glad to have you here, despite everything. I believe that you will end up liking it."

"...I'm happy to be here too," Thalia said at last, when he was done offering his life story to her. Not that she minded - any glimpse into what this new life was like was a welcome one, as far as she was concerned. Still, she was surprised to find that she meant it, just as she was surprised to find that she couldn't read any dishonesty in the warrior's voice. "At least, I think I am. I'm, uh... Still pretty new at all this, I guess. I mean, there's not exactly a framework for..."

There's not exactly a framework for how to deal with everything you've ever known falling apart around you, is there? When your parents abandon you, and they say they love you, and the only family you ever really trusted is leaving and they make you stay behind... Who do you look to for guidance, when everything you knew was a lie and everyone you trusted is gone? When the family you pieced together for yourself out of all of that has gone their separate ways, because the only thing that bonded you together is gone?

(Maybe her identity crisis isn't quite as over as she'd thought it was when she came to ShadowClan, with a legacy to uphold and another to repair.)

She stared down at her paws. At the mud sticking to them, another thing she would have to adjust to. "A lot of things, actually. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm realizing that I never have, and... Somehow, that only makes it all feel worse. I- I'm sorry, you didn't need me to drop that on you, did you? You're trying to be nice, and I'm- just making a mess of things, aren't I?"

Of course I am. Do I know how to do anything else?

Batglow shook his head. "You are fine. I understand it must be a rather large change going from however Asylum worked to how we work." He didn't believe that she was making a mess. He could understand her nerves and how all of this must be overwhelming. Finding a place to fit in, to belong, to know how you fit in all of it?

"That is why I'm here or rather why the others are here like Mistyfalcon. We will show you how to do things, how it works around here, but for you? It will be up to you as to where you fit in all of it. In the dynamic that is this clan." He didn't want to scare her but at the same time it was true. They would show her how it all worked but it was up to her to place herself in the clan. "For me? As long as you are willing to help I see you as one of us. Which I already do since you chose us."

"...I'm sure I'll find something," she said eventually, thinking over each thing Batglow had said so far. It was nice to know that she'd already made a friend. Or, uh... Was he a friend? She wasn't totally sure how it all worked, and she was a little too afraid to ask, because whether or not he thought so she thought that he might be offended by the question. "I'm not really good at that many things, or... Not ones that are useful, anyway. But I'm sure I can learn! I mean, I've learned a lot of things. I can totally learn how to hunt, and there's probably lots of other stuff that needs done, right...?"

So long as no one expects me to fight, anyway. I'm really, really glad Flintstar was so understanding about that.

Batglow purred a little at the she-cats' enthusiasm or at least her willingness to learn. "Its a step in the right direction. I will be glad to help you learn how to hunt if you want, and I'm sure some of the things you already do know can prove useful in some manner, it just has to do with how you apply them!" He hoped his words helped build the younger she-cats confidence. He didn't need a clanmate feeling down on herself before she even got started on trying. "And there is a lot that has to be done every day. Going from little things to big things. We have the obvious like catching prey and checking borders. Then we have more of the smaller things like getting rid of crow food, taking care of our elders, making sure the camp border stays strong. We can also help Rookfire with whatever he needs. Did you ever help your.. uh.. what did you call them? Healers?" He asked, trying to make sure he got the word correct.