A Good New Day (closed for kjsage)

OOC: This is set before "A Beast Am I"

Ashstorm had recently had much conversation with others in her family, but after a while she started to realize that her and her mother had not spoken in a long time.  She had focused on becoming a warrior.  After she became a warrior she focused on learning more about the Asylum.  And after her and some of her siblings fought she focused on mending those torn bonds between them.  And although she had spoken to Smokefeather in between each of these, they did not talk as much as they should.

She walked across the snowy terrain.  Most of the ash left on the ground had been covered in snow at the moment, which made Ashstorm feel less insecure about her name.  She cheerfully came up to Smokefeather.  "Hi, mom!" She said, sitting down and swooping her fluffy tail around so it laid on her front paws.  "How have you been?"

Smokefeather sat outside the nursery, watching the kits play in the snow. They were young, innocent, without a care in the world... And Smokefeather would prefer to keep them that way. Of course, they couldn't stay like that forever, but she could try.

"Ashstorm!" She greeted her daughter warmly when she approached, fluffy tail flicking.

"Okay, I suppose. These two-" her tail flicked in the direction of her kits, "-have more energy than I know what to do with." Somehow, she'd been as tired as she had been when raising Ashstorm's litter, though this time there were far few kits. At least the two sisters got along well.

"How have you been?" It had been a while since they'd really talked, something Smokefeather was regretting. She'd had her paws full with an apprentice, then a new litter, and Ashstorm was the one she'd found herself talking to the least out of her kits. Hopefully that would change, starting today, if Smokefeather had her way.

"I'm good," she responded cheerfully.

Ashstorm watched as her little siblings played blissfully in the snow.  She could not help but smile at both of her younger sisters joy.  I wonder if my kits will be that happy, she thought.  Then she remembered something.  My kits!  Stars, I have been pregnant for a while now and I haven't even told Smokefeather about it.  She often wondered about how her mother would take the news, considering that Himbo Bob was not the most liked cat in Skyclan.  She did not know if anyone even knew that Himbo Bob and her were mates.  She did not want to upset Smokefeather, but she thought it was her mother's right to know.

"Um, mom, there's something you should know," she said, shifting her paws uncomfortably.

"Alright, what is it?" Smokefeather's gaze turned to Ashstorm, noting the younger warrior's sudden discomfort, the way she shifted her paws. Had she gotten into some sort of trouble? It certainly seemed as if that was all her adult kits were able to do recently...

And Primroselight hadn't even realized she was expecting kits. Smokefeather thought back to their conversation just a few days ago, she'd been nervous about becoming a new mother, but Smokefeather thought she'd do fine. The thought that Ashstorm could be pregnant slipped from her mind. As far as she could tell, her daughter wasn't particularly close with any of her male clanmates (Asylum were hardly cats, in Smokefeather's opinion, so of course Ashstorm would never be close with one of them) from what she'd seen. No, it had to be something else, then.

There was a small amount of silence that followed Smokefeather's question.  She did not know how to best put any of it.  After the silence that felt like an eternity to Ashstorm, she finally could not take it anymore, she needed to say something.  She took a deep breath in.

"Mom, I'm pregnant!  I've been pregnant for a while now I just didn't know how to tell you.  It's your right to know and I'm sorry it took me so long, I just... I don't know I was scared, I guess?  Not of having the kits, but of what everyone might think when they know.  Especially sense..."  She was talking very fast, wanting to get this part of the conversation over.  She took another deep breath.  "Especially sense my mate is the Asylum cat, Himbo Bob!"

Ashstorm suddenly stopped speaking.  She waited for Smokefeather to respond.  She needed to tell her mother, but did not really want to hear her response.  She stayed anyway, hoping that her mother would not be as disappointed as Ashstorm thought she would be.

Smokefeather blinked in surprise at Ashstorm's admission. She was pregnant... With the kits of an Asylum member. Well, it wouldn't have been her first choice in mates...

...But Ashstorm was her daughter. She didn't have to approve of her decisions.

"So long as you're happy, Ashstorm." She mewed after a moment. "I can't say I approve of... Himbo Bob, but if you're happy, and he's not hurting you, I suppose I have no issue with it." With any luck the kits would be raised properly, as Skyclan warriors. With little influence of the rogue and his ilk. Still, she would not blame the kits for the crime of having a filthy rogue as a father.

"And... You know you can always come to me for help or advice, right?"

Ashstorm was relieved, seeing how understanding Smokefeather was.  Smokefeather took it way better than Ashstorm thought she would.  Eventually, Ashstorm would have to tell Beechface or, well, she'd figure it out when Ashstorm would need to go to the nursery, but either way she did not think her sister would be as understanding.  Ashstorm smiled knowing that Smokefeather was okay with everything.

"Of course," she responded.  She looked back out at the two little playful kits.  Not having a care in the world.  Not knowing their futures but feeling like everything was going to be okay.  Ashstorm vaguely remembered that feeling.  "Did my littermates and me use to be like that?"  She gestured to her two little siblings.

"Most healthy kits are energetic." Smokefeather's whiskers twitched. "You and your littermates were no exception, of course. Don't worry though, you get used to the lack of sleep after a while." There was a hint of snark in her words, but Smokefeather's posture remained relaxed. Of course, raising six kits was quite different than raising two.

"You all played without a care in the world. Innocent. I wish things could've stayed that way." For Ashstorm and her littermates. For little Featherkit and Mountainkit. But of course, part of growing up meant she couldn't protect her kits forever, much as Smokefeather might've wished to do so.

Ashstorm continued to look at her younger siblings. without much more expression on her face other than a small smile.  She hoped her kits were like that.  They're not even born yet and there's nothing I wouldn't do to make sure that their life is wonderful, she thought.

When her mother said that you get use to the lack of sleep, it did not ease her conscience to be reminded of this awful truth.  She turned to Smokefeather with her expression being like a "really... did you just tell me that" face.  She continued to listen to what her mother said.  She looked at the ground when Smokefeather was done speaking.  "It would be helpful to everyone to have no care in the world right about now," Ashstorm said.

Smokefeather smirked slightly at her daughter's expression. Of course, nobody wanted to hear about the lack of sleep or alone time, but Ashstorm could not say that she hadn't been told in advance. And Smokefeather had stopped caring about the lack of sleep a long time ago. It had been worth it to raise the kits.

"Maybe." She shrugged, "Stars know the constant arguing isn't helping anyone, either." Neither was the Asylum's presence, but Smokefeather felt that mentioning it would just cause another of the previously-mentioned arguments.

Ashstorm briefly wondered if her mothers last comment was supposed to be directed at her.  Ashstorm was part of the last big argument that her and some of her other family members were in.  She was trying to stop the argument, but instead just ended up being a part of it.  That was still one of Ashstorm's biggest regrets.  She sighed.

"You're right," she said.  "All the arguing and tearing others down, none of it is helpful."

This was not the conversation she originally intended to have with Smokefeather.  She came to have a nice light conversation with her mother, instead they ended up talking about the clans problems.  Stars.  Am I not allowed to have one regular conversation with someone, she thought.  Ashstorm knew that she was the one to bring up her kits and everything, she just needed to know when to stop saying the first thing that came to her head.  "Anyway," she attempted to change the subject.  "I hope I'm a good mom to my kits, like you are to me."  She meant what she said to Smokefeather.  She had always hoped to be as good of a cat as Smokefeather.

"You'll do fine, Ashstorm." Smokefeather offered her daughter a quick smile of reassurance that she wasn't sure she felt herself. Being a mother, she'd learned, had been difficult. Kits had tried her patience more than she'd ever thought was possible, she'd wanted to rip her fur out at times... But they were hers.

"You're patient. That'll do you well." More patient than Smokefeather had been, at times. She'd do fine, Smokefeather had no doubt.

"I hope so," she responded.

Ashstorm looked with her big yellow eyes at her mother with a grateful look.  She did not know why, but hearing that from Smokefeather meant a lot to her.  She had always wished to be as good as Smokefeather, and even just a her mother simply reassuring her made her smile and feel more comforted than she did for a while.  "Thank you."