The Road To Heal [Closed for kjSage]

It was a huge struggle to even get out of her nest. Day after day passed and nothing changed. She was in a constant loop of monotonous tasks and seemingly unending grief. She had lost so much and been through so much and she was barely still an apprentice. She had already been well aware that life isn't fair but that didn't make her tragedies any less painful to endure. Nighthaze had been murdered not too long ago and a bit before that, Bumblepaw had gone missing during one of his training sessions and nobody was ever able to trace his whereabouts. Recently, both Pippaw and Sunflower had gone missing too and very little was being done to find them because the clan was a mess. She'd seen very little of her mentor, Quietstep, and death and tragedy plagued the clan in general. Life was a mess, she was a mess. The sad part was...she now felt almost nothing...

It was another night spent tossing and turning in her nest. While the rest of her denmates slept decently well, she couldn't even bring herself to close her eyes at times. All she saw behind her eyelids was loss and bittersweet memories that she yearned to travel back to, when times were simpler and everyone was still here. She grumbles, almost growled in frustration as she arose from her nest with a scowl. It was one of those nights. It was fruitless to even bother to sleep. She needed out and away from her nest or she might just suffocate from her dense sorrow.

Normally, Rainypaw would just go and awaken one of her siblings, specifically Nighthaze, and drag them with her to either go on a walk or just sit near the entrance and talk. Afterwards, she'd be able to fall asleep much easier. Now, however, she had nobody to turn to. Well, that wasn't entirely true but she just couldn't bring herself to go and bother her mother with something as miniscule as nightmares or thoughts that just won't go away. Willowdance had so much on her shoulders already and was grieving on top of that. It was unfair to awaken her from slumber, which she probably rarely got as well. Rainy finally decided to start helping herself...at least, she tried to. It wasn't easy and it was only getting harder to. She needed to talk again but would anyone listen?

The lithe she-cat got up onto her paws and slinked away from her nest, careful of avoiding any limbs that may be in her path away from the apprentice's den. Once she managed to quietly get away, she took in a deep breath. She needed that. The apprentice allowed her paws to move on their own as she observed the night sky, blue gaze focused on the moon and glittering stars. She wondered if Nighthaze was watching her from there right now or if maybe he was asleep. Do StarClan cats even need sleep? She didn't even get a chance to ponder that question further before she suddenly stopped...right in front of the warrior's den. She shook her head in confusion. Why was she even here? Nighthaze wasn't sleeping there anymore and she already established that she wasn't going to bother her mother. Then, why? It was obvious her subconscious craved company but there wasn't anyone there that she could wake up without it being weird or awkward. Perhaps she had wanted to get Quietstep? Did her mentor even sleep in there? She hadn't seen much of her at all since the battle against WindClan. The apprentice nearly walked away but stopped herself. Maybe she could try...no. She didn't even know her well...but, she had known him well. She...had to try. For her sanity and for some much needed comfort.

The she-cat finally made up her mind and sneaked into the warrior's den, mission clear as day. She was going to try and get her late brother's mentor to join her. She may not know Birdsong well but her brother never spoke ill of her. She must've been a good mentor. She hoped that since Night had been close to Bird, Rainy could talk to her easier than any of the other warriors. It was worth a shot and now, there was no going back seeing as she was already shaking the older molly awake. "Um...Birdsong? It's me, Rainypaw, Nighthaze's sister. Can you help me with something? I...I need to talk to you...please?" With that, the skinny apprentice made her way over to the den's entrance to wait and see if the warrior had stirred or not. She prayed that she had. She really needed someone to talk to...

Birdsong's dreams were chaotic, and a paw shaking her away had the gray tabby flinching, ears flattening against her head as a soft hiss escaped her before she recognized a soft, plaintive voice asking for her.

"Sorry, sorry..." Birdsong muttered, embarrassment making her fur feel hot and uncomfortable as she blinked up at the short-furred apprentice. Rainypaw, she realized... Nighthaze's sister.

"Of course," She mewed, carefully clambering from her nest and leading the apprentice from the den. "What's up, Rainypaw? Are you alright?" It was a stupid question, judging by the expression on Rainypaw's face. The apprentice had lost so much recently... They all had. Nighthaze's death was still fresh, and Birdsong... She didn't understand why it had to be him. Nighthaze had been a good, loyal cat. He'd been kindhearted and gentle. She'd enjoyed training him, and he'd been made a warrior just before that battle with Windclan. He hadn't wanted to fight, but neither had Birdsong. They'd both gone to support their family, their friends. In the end he'd been as loyal a warrior as Skyclan could have asked for, and now he was gone.

A quiet sigh left the tabby warrior as she gazed at Rainypaw, waiting to hear what she had to say. Birdsong didn't know if she'd be much comfort to her, at the moment.