Humble and Kind

Since she had been leader, Lilacstar had been rather busy. And she hated it, but she had actually spent little time with Amberfluff, and she could tell that this bothered her mate. And she had some stuff she wanted to bring up as well, and she hoped to StarClan that Amberfluff would be okay with it. But in truth, she couldn't blame her if she wasn't.

She took deep breaths now, anxiously darting her gaze around camp as she waited for the tabby She-Cat. Lilacstar had asked Amberfluff to meet her. But what if Lilacstar had hurt Amberfluff? What if she didn't want to see her? What if she didn't come? These thoughts plagued her as she waited for the time to arrive.

Amberfluff raised her head in response to a call of her name by Lilacstar. She was admittedly slightly upset by how little time they had managed to spend together recently, but she understood. Being a leader was a huge job and it required a whole lot of dedication and time for it to work.

That being said, she couldn't stop herself from being anxious about what this was. After all, she had no way of knowing if this call was as a leader or if it was as a mate. It wasn't totally impossible that Lilacstar needed to ask Amberfluff to help her do something.

Quickly, Amberfluff rushed over to Lilacstar from the Elders' Den, which she had admittedly been pacing around. "What's up?" She greeted.

Lilacstar smiled as she pushed her cheek against Amberfluff's in greeting. "We haven't gotten to spend much time together. I have some downtime now, so I could think of no one better to enjoy this bit of freedom with. And, er, it seemed like a good time to talk. I'm sorry, I know this is kind of out of nowhere, but I have kind of always wanted kits of my own. And Fawnstep could give that to me. Don't worry, he won't be involved in any way other than strictly necessary! I just thought, wouldn't it be nice to raise a family together? You and me, raising our own kits? I-it's okay if you say no. I wanted to talk to you about this before I did anything. After all, uh, they'll be......your kits....too."

At this point she was aware she was rambling, and she looked at Amberfluff's expression carefully. What was going through her mind? Did she think Lilacstar was going too quickly? She herself had put a lot of time into it, but what if Amberfluff didn't want kits? Lilacstar wouldn't be able to do anything if Amberfluff didn't agree, she couldn't do that to her. But at the same time, what if she never got another chance? What if she could never be a mother?

Amberfluff nuzzled Lilacstar back. Physical affection was far easier to show than anything else, and ahe liked that. She was very glad that Lilacstar chose to soend her precious off time with Amberfluff and not anyone else.

As Lilacstar spoke more, Amberfluff began tensing up slightly. Kits was a weird subject for the same-sex duo. Lilacstar wanted kits, as Amberfluff was aware of. However, Amberfluff herself was more of debating on it. She was unsure if they had the responsibility or time to care for kits. And, well, mothers sometimes have different instincts towards kits that were their own and kits that were not. Since their only ways out were adoption or surrogation, Amberfluff had not been eager to think about it.

Fawnstep. Amberfluff tensed ever so slightly at the name. She knew very well he was an adamant competitor for Lilacstar's affection, though she eventually chose Amberfluff over him. Good thinking as well, in Amberfluff's opinion. However, allowing Fawnstep to be involved in this...made Amberfluff hesitant.

Relax. He's helping other cats with this kind of thing as well. It'll be fine. Besides, you'll be able to find out if something happens. And besides, Lilacstar cares for you. Amberfluff told herself. She stood there, staring into the distance eith glazed eyes as she thought over the pros and cons with that icy expression of hers. Finally, she reached a decision.

Turning back to Lilacstar, Amberfluff gave a smile. "As long as you two don't get up to anything too funny, it's fine! I think we're about ready for kits anyways." Even if they weren't they'll find some way around it. And besides, having kits to care for one day is inevitable. Better sooner than later.

There was a visible relaxation in Lilacstar as Amberfluff agreed to her request. This was a big thing for her, and she was so glad to have her mate by her side for it. "Don't worry, there is nothing to get up to. I only have eyes for one cat, and she is sitting right next to me."

She layed her head on Amberfluff's shoulder, content to just stay like this. She could forget about her responsibilities, and the constant weight that had been placed upon her shoulders. The world around her seemed to fade away, until it was just the two of them. And Lilacstar was happy.

Closing her eyes, she let out a steady purr, letting herself melt into her mate. Letting herself forget, for just that moment, about patrols that needed to be done, or ceremonies she had to work on. Right now, Amberfluff was all that mattered. She found herself envisioning the family they would have together, and she purred even more. If only life could be just like this, and nothing more.