An Even More Difficult Confession

Scorchfang gulped down the heavy lump in his throat, but it just came right back up. This was the day he had been dreading for quite some time, especially ever since he learned what became of his former mate Sweetheart of RiverClan. After watching the unfortunate events revolving around Honeydrop's and Gingerstripe's exiles, he was now able to draw a connection between their two cases: they had broken the warrior code, but they had not told anyone of their crimes until it was too late. He had the full intention of breaking this trend: he was going to tell both Littlestar and Nettlesting his wrongdoings as an apprentice. He had a feeling Littlestar would be leagues easier on him than Nettlesting, who in turn would probably want him exiled, or at least stripped of his title as ShadowClan deputy. But it still had to be done. If he wouldn't tell them, StarClan eventually would, and that was something he didn't need. He would probably end up putting his entire life as a ShadowClan cat as he knew it on the line, but at least he would still be a much braver and more honorable Clan cat than either Honeydrop or Gingerstripe.

The dark tabby tom pushed his way into the leader's den where he found the two cats he had wanted to see inside already. There was no turning back now. "Littlestar, Nettlesting. I... hope I'm not interrupting anything important, but... I... I-I have something I must tell the both of you."

Littlestar looked up from her casual conversation with Nettlesting when her deputy approached them, a peculiar look in his amber eyes. "No, of course not. What is it, Scorchfang? Is everything alright?" She asked, her eyes immediately filled with concern. She was extremely happy with her choice in deputy, and she didn't think she could be prouder of how he had handled the position so far if she tried. But the look in his eyes, and with the recent events, she had come to expect the worst. This was her life now, and she had better embrace it.

Nettlesting tilted his head. "What is it?" He admittedly didn't like the tom, but he was Littlestar's choice.

Scorchfang gulped nervously. There really was no turning back now. He took a shaky breath, expelled it, and finally began his confession.

"Littlestar, you know I want nothing more than to serve and protect ShadowClan, no matter what it takes. And I still do. I love being your deputy, it's everything I've ever dreamed of becoming, because now I'm able to do much more than I ever could as a warrior to serve this Clan. But... As an apprentice, I made a horrendously stupid mistake. I have told maybe one or two cats, but I know that you and Nettlesting both need to know as well. I'm just sorry I never told you this before.

"A long time ago I... I had developed feelings for a RiverClan she-cat. But once I became a warrior and realized just how important my Clan was to me, and how important it was to remain loyal to my Clan alone, I left her. I haven't talked to her since. But... I just recently learned that... s-somehow... she had... m-my kit." It was getting harder and harder not to break down in tears, both from fear of what his leader and medicine cat would think of him and from utter heartbreak that his stupid and seemingly harmless little romance would manifest into something awful. "I-I swear, I never knew that her kit was mine until... u-until Silverfang of RiverClan told me. Great StarClan, Littlestar, I didn't mean for that to happen! I was so stupid as an apprentice, and I thought that if I had left Sweetheart, I could make up for my sins! I'm s-so sorry for not telling you this sooner, b-but unlike Honeydrop... unlike Gingerstripe... I did feel bad enough to confess before StarClan did first. I know that you don't give a rat's tail about that, but... I just wanted you two to know that... I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for breaking the warrior code. I want to keep my deputy status, I truly do, but if my punishment has to be losing this position -- to lose my place in ShadowClan as a whole -- then that's what I deserve. Please forgive me, Littlestar. Please forgive me, Nettlesting."

Tears began falling down Scorchfang's cheeks. He bowed his head to his leader and medicine cat, two cats of an entire Clan who deserved a far better deputy... a far better Clanmate. He began to contemplate who would be the next deputy after he would be banished from the Clan; he knew at least Nettlesting would want nothing more than to get rid of him. He figured Littlestar would want to be a bit more compassionate, but even leaders have to listen to their medicine cats sometimes...

(OOC: I know that at least Sunlit and I agreed that Scorchfang wouldn't lose his deputy status, but I truly hope that decision hadn't been changed... XD)

Nettlesting narrowed his eyes at the tom. The tom had bullied him throughout kit-hood and through some of his apprenticeship. He had not been too happy when Littlestar made him deputy out of any other cat in the clan, but had kept it quiet. With every word the tom said the more he felt right about the tom. His fur bristled. Another traitor... but... he was right. He was admitting it before he was caught by him and StarClan. Nettlesting locked his jaw and remained silent, staring a hole in Scorchfang's head. Now, he had the power to make Scorchfang miserable... But...

Littlestar regarded Scorchfang with a rather guarded look of concern. She braced herself for the terrible news that she knew would somehow come from the deputy she had put her trust into. As the black tabby continued his spiel, her features began to soften with an almost kind of relief. Of course, she was upset that he had broken the warrior code, but she had expected something more.. severe. Apprentices were young and very naive, so she gave them a tiny bit more slack than she would a fully grown warrior. "I appreciate you coming to us, Scorchfang, and being honest with me. We need more cats like you who will take responsibility for their actions, and face whatever consequences they are given. It's refreshing, and it gives me hope." She asserted, her once tense features relaxing slightly. "That being said, you will face a punishment." She admitted with a nod. "You will remain as my deputy, but you will not be allowed to leave camp for one moon. You must assist the apprentices with their duties inside camp, as well. You are still permitted to assign patrols and carry out your duties that do not require you to leave camp, is this understood?" She concluded with a flick of her only remaining ear. This was a minimal punishment at best, but she knew it would be humbling and give him plenty of time to reflect on himself, though she was sure he had already begun to do so. "I do forgive you Scorchfang." She added genuinely after several heartbeats of silence.

Scorchfang sighed softly with immense relief. Being quarantined would be a very difficult task he would have to admit; being stuck in camp meant he couldn't hunt for his Clanmates or fight off trespassers, cat or otherwise. He felt that, because of his stupid mistakes as an apprentice, the entire Clan would now suffer. ...No, that's not right. The Clan is full of capable warriors and apprentices who can hunt and fight. He didn't have to feel the need to carry the entirety of ShadowClan on his shoulders. Perhaps he would take smaller rations from now on until leaf-bare ended, then, not just to leave enough prey for the others but also to inflict an additional punishment on himself. He had to feel like he had atoned to his sins one way or another.

"Thank you, Littlestar," he meowed softly with a deep bow of his head. "I promise, I will never make the same mistake ever again."

Nettlesting nodded, his jaws still locked. Despite Littlestar's forgiveness, the medicine cat vowed to watch him like a hawk until his dying breath. Traitors, in his clan, would never be welcome.