Endless Sorrow [Closed]

Mottlekit found it hard to breath as he held himself close to the ground, shivering as his ears tried to drown out the sound of bloodcurdling yowls echoing from outside of the nursery. The fluffy tail of one of the few queens were wrapped around him and the other kits, their soft voices whispering in his ear to remain calm - that this would all pass - but the shaking and cracking of their words betrayed the fear that they held. Their fur was on edge, their claws out and ready to pouch on any of the intruders that dared to have the idea of showing their faces. The young kit shook his head as he buried himself deeper into the queen's fur, confused and lost. He had heard a few words between Ashstar and another cat but he had been ushered into the back of the den before the battle had started. He didn't know why this was happening, but he knew that it wasn't good. The name 'RiverClan' echoed in his head, the word having been uttered in curses under the queens' breaths.

The air was full of a sicking scent that made every breath almost painful to take in - overbearing and causing Mottlekit to shiver at the strength of it. Finally, after what seemed like forever, the sound of battle came to a stop. There was silence other than for the harsh, terrified breathing of the other kits and queens as none were brave enough to poke their noses out first to see how everything had ended. For a few heartbeats, he crouched there - content to remain until his curiosity ate away at him and he scrambled over the queen's tail. He heard her calling back for him as he scampered across the den, but then the silence became even more heavy as he slide to a stop. Slowly, he glanced over his shoulder to find that he was alone. The other cats who had been cowering with him were gone - no trace to be seen. He opened his mouth as he turned toward where they had been, ready to call out their names but he found himself frowning as the words didn't come to his tongue. He couldn't remember their names, their appearances, or even their voices. Just their presences that was now strangely empty.

"H-Hello?" he called into the den, the only reply being his echoing cry. He swallowed as he took a step backwards, his fur puffed and spine curled as his breath came out even harsher than it had been before. His back paw hit something wet, startling him into a jump as he spun to face the entrance of the den. A dark liquid pooled from the entrance, running down the small slope which led into the nursery as it spreaded slowly throughout the floor of the den. It was sticky to the touch, clinging to his paws as it gathered around him. He took a few panicked steps backwards, the liquid sloshing with his moments - thick and heavy as it threaten to drag him down into it despite the fact it was only a claw deep.

Rippling across the dark red surface caught his attention - the source of it not being his own as he slowly raised his gaze toward the entrance of the den to find a form of a cat standing there. He started to back away, arching his back as he took in the intruder before him. The cat towered over his kit-self, their pelt a silvery-gray, shadows licking across their coat to form patterns - shifting between spots and stripes but their eyes remained the same, a sharp vibrant green. "G-Get away!" he yowled as he lashed his puffed up tail, bearing his sharp kit teeth. "Y-You better l-leave me alone! I-I'm a warrior! I'm n-not scared of you!"

The world around him seemed to vibrate as an amused purr echoed from every corner of the den. The sound was unnatural, just barely cat-like as two voices merged with something else entirely as it spoke. "A̕ ̨́w̡a̶̕r̨̕ŗ̡͘i̷o̧r̡͟?͜ ҉̵͢Yo̕u̶ ͏a̴̡͡r̵e͘ à̛ ͘t҉̴e̵҉̡r̨r̨͜͢i͜f̸̶̢i͡ę̸d͜ k͞͠į̷t." the voice hissed, scorn clear in its voice as the dark crimson blood beneath Mottlekit's paws ripped again. Slowly, his attention drifted downwards only to find the reflection of a fully grown cat staring back at him. The reflection had the same markings, the same terrified green eyes - it was no doubt his own but scars that his short fur couldn’t hide lined his face as the voice continued onward. "̵̴̸̺̦̟̭̕E̕v̴͘en ̵áś ̡͟͠ý̢͠o̧͠u̧͢ g̸̴̛r̵̛ew̛ ́͜up҉̡, ͟y̢ou͜'v̧͜ę̶͝ ̢҉̧n҉̛e͏v͠é̷r͞ ̧͝b̷ee̸ǹ̛ ҉̢ú͡na̶̶͠bļ̴͞e̡̡ ́͢͞t̢͢͝o ̷̸e̶̢͢s͞͡c̴͏á͜p̸e̶̡ ̧̕͟t̀͘͟h҉is̶̴̕ ͡m̕o͏m̷e̸n͡t̵ ͘-̶̡ ̡͠y̷͞o̕u̶ ̷́a̶r̢͜e s̨͠t͘ìl̵l̀ ͞t̶̕hȩ ͘s͏͝͠á̢m̵̢̛e̷͢ ̴̢t҉e͢r̡̡r̸̡͜i̵͝͞fi̵̧ed ̷͏k̀͘i̸͘ţ͜҉ ̢͘f͏̢r̶̶om̡҉ ̷͝t̸h̶̢ȩ͠ ͏͏d͡͏a҉͢y̸͘ ̛̀yo͜͢u͜͠r͏ ͝͏C҉̨l̵͡a͡n͟ ̵͢wą̶̛s ̨f̢͠͝i̡͟r̨s͜t̡̢̀ ̶͢͟a̴͟͡t̀t̶a̸̡̕c̢͘k̴͏e͜d.̸̀ ͘͜Y͠o͟u̴̕͜ a̕r͜ę̧͜ a͢ f͏a̧҉i̴̕l͡u͜r͟͏e̢̛,̨͟͜ ̷̕M̷̀́o̡̢t̢͟͞t͟l̵͝e͘͡h҉̨̀éa̕ŕ͝t͝. Aş ̶͢a̡ ̸w̢ar͏͟͞r̢̢͡i͜o͜r̢,́ ̛àǹ͞d è͜͠v̢͢͞én͞ ̸a͟͠s̸̢͘ ͘͢a̡͜ ̸̢͟m̧͟è̴͢d̷̵͝i҉̶͘c͠in̸̨e҉̵ ̷͘ca̢̨͝t͜.̷"

"N-No!" Mottleheart raised his gaze, now eye-level with the shadowy figure but he still took a terrified step back as his fur stood on edge. "I-m not...That isn't true! I'm not a failure!" he argued back, staring at the shadowy creature before him. Two names bubbled into his mind as he scanned across the creature. The gray and silver pelt...The shifting fur patterns...It was like it couldn't decide between being Fishstar or Ivystar, but both forms had the same sharp green eyes that flared with blood-lust and disgust toward him. He shook his head as he dropped into a crouch, throwing himself forward at the shadowy leader but they simply stepped to the side. His paws hit the slick blood, throwing him off balance on the landing as he turned to face the leader with a sharp hiss. His heart leaped into his throat as he saw the figure rear backwards before paws slammed into his head and sent him crashing to the ground.

His jaw hit the floor hard, a cracking sound following as pain exploded across his face. Claws sank into his pelt heartbeats after, causing him to yelp as the blood started to seep into his pelt and dye it a dark crimson. Despite the pain, he found the strength to open his eyes and he was hit with sudden regret. The blood that pooled across the ground now had a clear source - the unmoving bodies of his Clanmates were slashed open around him, their wounds oozing more blood than should ever be possible as the level of the pooling blood started to rise around him. He struggled against the shadowy RiverClan leader, opening his mouth to say something, to cry out as the three closest forms to him were Ashstar, Brindlewhisker and Featherlight but his words were silenced by the mouthful of blood he got in return, causing him to cough against it as he struggled for air. "̨Y͝ǫ̴u̸̵͟ ̴͢ç͝o͏͞u͢ļ̴d͢n͝҉'̨t́ ̛p̸͝r͞ot̢̛́é͢c͟ţ ̸͟y̸ou͞r̛̀͠ ̵C͜͝l͟á̶nm͏̴a҉͝t̷͝e͝͞s̵͡ ̷̕į͢n͜͜ ̡̧͝b͝a͟ţ͘t͠l̨e w̛h́e͘ņ y̷͞o̕u̶ w̛e̶̢͢r̵̛e ̶͢a̡ ̸w̢ar͏͟͞r̢̢͡i͜o͜r̢ an̸d́ n̡̢͘ơ͟ẁ̕ ̧̕͏ỳ̴o̢͠ù҉̛ ̡҉c̸̶a̸̷̧ņ̧͘'t̵ ͟s̕͠á͜v̶͘e ҉̡t͞͞h͟e͏̡͏m̴̷ ͟as̷̵̨ ͡a ͠m̕͘͝e͟͜d̵́͠ic͏̴i͏nȩ͡ ̢̕c̢a̵t̷̛̕.̸̸ ̛͜͡You ̢a̷͟͞r͘e̴͢ ͜a̛͜ ̀c͜o̡w͞͏a̸ŗ̸d̡͘͡,̴̴ ͘a͝ ̨f̨a͢͝͏il͜͞u̕͢͡ŗ̵͝è̶͘.̴͘͠.̶̨̛.̶͠W̧͡h́e͘ņ ̕y̶͠o̵u̶̧r̀ C̀ļ̧̛a̴n͘҉ ̴̀r͡i͝s͡ḱ͡e̡d ̴҉͝b͠e̡͏͏i̶n͏g̸̡ ̸͜d͝͞͏r͠o͟wņ̨͟e͞͞͡d̛ ̧̀͞i̶͏͠n͜͠ ͝t̷͡h͝ȩ̢͟i̢r̶ ̸̶o̴҉͘w̕n̨͘͝ ͠bl̶͠͝o̕͞o̕d́͏,͏͡ ͟͞yo҉̡ư̶͜ ̕w̨͝e̵r̶e͏ ̴d̶͘r̷̡o͘͝͝w͘n̶͠i̵͟͞n͡g̷̡̕ ̀̕i̡͞n̕͏ ̛yo̴҉u̵̕r̨̧̀ ̀o͞w͢ǹ̨͘ ͘s͘͢or̴͘r͜ow ̀an̸̶d҉ ҉sę̴̛l͢͡͡f̶͜-̸̀̕pi̡̕͡ţ̛̕y҉͘. ͠Ýo͡u̶̡͞ ̵a̸r̷e̸̡̛n̵̡'̷t̵̴̕ ́҉w̡͘òr͟͢t̶h̸̸y̧ ͞t̛҉o ҉̵̨e͟͝v҉̕͜e̷͞n͘͡ ̵b̨͜͝e̸̷͘ a͞ m͢e̶͢͝d͘͜íc̸̀͜i͢͠n҉è c̨̛͘a̴t̴̢,̨̀ ҉M̷̡o͏t̨͜͞tl̨e͏͘h͞e̶a̧̛͡r̕͡t̶̸́,̨̨̀” the voice taunted, its voice as thick as the blood that clogged his throat and seeped into his pelt. "Yo͡͏u a͘͞r̛e̶̕ ̵͏p͜a̷̛th̴e͏͟t̡i̕c͡.͘"

He stopped his struggling as he stared at the three lifeless forms before him, tears swelling up in the corner of his eyes. If he could speak, he would have sobbed for forgiveness but the blood that threaten to drown him left him speechless as sharp nettle-point teeth sank into his neck and everything when dark.

Mottleheart's eyes flared open with a heavy gasp as he jolted awake. His claws were tangled in the moss that made up his nest, his breath panting as he forced himself up into a sitting position. He gagged and coughed on the taste of blood that wasn't there, blinking away the tears that rolled down his cheeks. He...His paws gave out from beneath him as he collapsed back into his nest, his breath coming in and out in wheezes as he did everything he could to keep himself from falling unconscious again as he tried to get the air back into his lungs.

He laid in his nest, his pelt shaking with his effort to calm himself as he scoured the den around him. He could see the sleeping form of both his apprentice and Mistpaw, the steady rise and fall of their chests helping his breathing steady just a bit. With a soft moan, he pulled himself into a tight ball, hiding his face beneath his front paws and tail as he slowly started to regain control over his lungs. The horrors of his nightmare was still clear in his mind, he could almost smell and taste the blood that threaten to drown him in his darken dream and he saw the bloodied, unmoving corpses of his closest Clanmates when he closed his eyes...And thus he kept them open, staring at his own trembling paws until he felt secure enough to clamber to his feet.

Silently, he pushed himself out of the medicine cat den and into the crisp, cold night air. His lungs ached as he gulped the fresh air down, closing his eyes for all but a second before the vision of his nightmare flared once again as he opened them with a tight gasp. He bent his head, taking in a shaky breath as he started to quietly move toward the entrance of the camp. He needed fresh air and open space - and the camp wouldn’t give him enough.

And so he trotted out into the territory. His fur was still on edge, a mix of the terror he had yet to shake and the cold winds that brushed past him. He had rarely left the camp since leafbare had fallen upon the Clans but...But he couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t sleep if that was what was awaiting him every time he closed his eyes. It wasn’t the first time he had that nightmare and he doubt it would be the last but maybe if he waited it out - maybe if he waited long enough when he did sleep it would be gone but...He couldn’t risk it. He had to keep away. He had to stay busy.

The Clan needed herbs. The Clan had always needed herbs since before the battle but now they were in even more of them. He always sent Featherlight out to get them - his short fur meant that he was ill prepared for the cold weather but now - now he needed any excuse to avoid sleeping. He had been a fool to think that his nightmares would have gone away by now but all of the work of tending to Mistpaw along with all of his injured Clanmates from the battle was added with the lack of sleep was wearing him down but...

Mottleheart came to a halt on the top of a hill, his head lowered as he shakily sank down into a sitting position. He couldn’t sleep. He could work past this - make due without it. He couldn’t let his Clanmates down - Ashstar, Brindlewhisker, Featherlight...They all counted on him to be his best and...His legs quivered beneath him as he shook his head, a tired sigh escaping him as he raised his gaze toward the sky. He...He could make do without sleep for their sake. He had to be better.

For WindClan.

Gustpuddle stood in the middle of a battle, filled with warriors and apprentices from both WindClan and RiverClan. Just like the war that WindClan had lost so badly only a few sunrises ago, her friends and kin alike, with the ruthless, bloodthirsty RiverClan cats jumping from cat to cat, giving WindClan no mercy. Their claws were coated in crimson, and the blood of her Clanmates was spilled onto the beautiful moors once again. In the middle of it all, she stood, not a cat ran towards her or acknowledged her. It's like she wasn't even there. From fallen cat to fallen cat she walked, taking in what had happened in the heat of battle. Of course, this was nothing like what had actually happened. The nightmares that haunted her at night were ruthless, and they did not take into account the reality of the circumstance. Several of her family lay dead, those who were not were injured beyond repair. There were so few left who had the strength or will to continue to fight, at this point their motives were futile because the concept of WindClan's triumph was far gone.

She didn't do a thing to save her Clanmates pain, she didn't jump to their aid like any good warrior should have. Instead, she watched in horror, pain evident in her amber eyes. Quailfeather, Brindlewhisker, Nectarleap, Spiderfur, they were all defeated. The only cats that remained now were Silentstrike and Ashstar, both so very close to the end of their fight. They both had so many cats piled on them, WindClan had not a chance of coming out victorious. As Silentstrike fell under a warriors' claws, and Ashstar the same, she watched in terror as the RiverClanner's came towards her, fire in their eyes that proved to her their hatred. Before any of them could lay a claw on her, they faded into oblivion, only their shadows remaining in the darkness that already surrounded her. The bloodstained ground beneath her paws disgusted her, and as she backed away, the darkness only swallowed up the land around her even more. In the distance, she saw The Mist, the wretched thing that had stolen so many that she loved, the creature inside lurking just beyond the WindClan borders. With a start she awoke, her chest heaving as she sat terrified in her nest, eyes shut tight.

As soon as she was able to regain control of her breathing she got up, stepping over the many cats that now owned the scars of the recent battle. Nothing that happened in the battle came close to the events of her nightmare, but her mind couldn't help but think that someday, they just might. With a quick glance towards the freshkill pile, which contained very little, she knew that she had to provide for her Clan as much as she could. The grey and white warrior ran out of camp, the gentle breeze blowing through her fur as she practically soared over the hills. It wasn't until she came running up the hill that she knew Mottleheart was out. "M-Mottleheart?" She knew that he didn't come out much during leafbare, especially at night. What was he doing out and about now? She was getting ready to ask, but she realized he could ask her the same question. She sat down next to him, tracing his gaze to silverpelt.

Mottleheart jumped at the sudden voice next to him, having completely missed Gustpuddle's approach. His tail lashed as he spun just as she sat down next to him, the memory of his dream still fresh in his mind. The hiss that escaped his throat died quickly as he recognized her, his eyes wide with panic as he gave his head a shake. "Y-You scared me, Gustpuddle," he mumbled softly as he shook his pelt, trying to get his fur to lay back down as he sheepishly settled down next to her. At any rate, he no longer felt tired thanks to that scare and he found himself being a little thankful - any way to strive off the night terrors was a welcome thing but he prayed that she wouldn't take notice of his dishevel appearance and realized that he had been forgoing sleeping as much as he could.

"What are you doing out?" he questioned softly after a few moments, giving her an odd look. He at least had an excuse to be out other than his wish to avoid sleeping - he did need to go herb hunting as much as possible and he couldn't just rely on Featherlight any more with their collection having been almost completely taken by RiverClan. He didn't know Gustpuddle all that well despite the fact that she was Ashstar's granddaughter. While he liked to think himself as almost a son to the leader, he hadn't gotten to know the rest of her family all that well so it was...Odd just sitting here talking to her.

Gustpuddle jumped a bit when Mottleheart let out a low hiss, and the fur on her back stood up, along with her tail fluffing outward. She relaxed some when the brown and white tom told her that she had spooked him, an expression of understanding adorning her muzzle. "I-I'm sorry, Mottleheart." Her head dipped slightly, a sort of apologetic action on her part. She mostly just froze up at his next question, unsure of how she was supposed to answer it. Tell him she had a nightmare? 'Out of the question.' Can't sleep? 'You're supposed to be a warrior, for StarClan's sake! No excuses!' She quickly came to a decision, not wanting to draw it out. "I was just, um... h-hunting." She managed a weak smile along with her half-way white lie, tilting her head a little.

WindClan did need prey, but as much as Gustpuddle wanted to say she was only hunting, she knew it wasn't true.