Sorrow (CLOSED)

(OOC: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ERJpT76rGw)

The experienced warrior left her den, weary and depressed. Her blue eyes, now dull, looked at the lonely and quiet camp. All her clanmates were still sleeping as the sun was beginning to disappear in the horizon but... she wasn't able to sleep after all that happened. Her sons... her beloved sons were now resting in Starclan. Darkpaw, Ashpaw, Sootpaw and... Hailpaw... They were all gone from one day to another.

The brown tabby she-cat moved slowly to the fresh-kill pile but when she was standing in front of it, she remembered the first day her kits left the den. Her blue eyes started to be filled with tears as she saw her own paws... and she could almost see her four sons playing between them. Why? Why did Starclan take them so young? Was it her fault? Was she a bad mother? Cedarstorm blamed herself... she should have done something... she was their mother and now they were dead. What was the point of being here if she wasn't able to take care of her family? Her eyes glanced at the medicine cat den. There she was another cat that she wasn't able to protect: Curlyfeather. She was her only sister... her only family and now the grey warrior was completely deaf.

The warrior closed her eyes and clenched her teeth. She couldn't be weak now... she had to live even with all this misery. Even in her sorrow... even if Cedarstorm wanted to give up and don't fight any longer... she had to learn how to fight. She would learn how to live again... for her kits... for her remaining family. That's what motivated to open up her eyes once again and pick up two rodents.

Slowly but determined, the weary she-cat made her way back to the warrior's den and she searched for her mate, Crowfur. During the past days, she had noticed that the shy tom was getting even quieter than usual and that he wasn't looking at her eyes anymore. It was almost like he was avoiding her on purpose... but who could blame him? The dark-furred tom was suffering as well. However, Cedarstorm couldn't deal with the pain alone anymore. She needed Crowfur... and he probably needed her as well.

With one paw, she nudged him gently. "Evening, Crowfur. Sorry for waking you up. I brought you something to eat. I thought we could share this meal together..." She purred laying down next to him and placing the two pieces of prey in front of the tom. Now that they were closer, she noticed how skinny he was even under all that long fur of his. The she-cat immediately worried about him. "Crowfur... How are you feeling?"

The dark-furred feline lay there there unmoving, dull eyes transfixed forward in an unknown direction. He felt a presence go near him and soon saw two pieces of prey being dropped in front of him. He swallowed nervously. His mate was a little too close for his liking. He loved her with all his heart but he didn't want her to worry for a wretch like him. 'Too late' he thought bitterly. She had noticed how bad he looked. He turned his gaze away but said nothing. Why was Starclan so unfair to them? They took their sons away from them. Curlyfeather lost her hearing completely. Could life get even worse? Of course it could. He was starving and had fallen in a state of uncurable depression. 'Cedarstorm...never leave me please. I need you!" he silently pleaded her. He pressed his skinny body closer to her but refused to look her in the eyes. Before he knew it, he began to tremble as heartbreaking sobs left his raspy throat. He couldn't deal with this pain for much longer.

OOC: This is depressing. I died on the inside when I typed this...

The fluffy she-cat blinked surprised and saddened. Her doubts were confirmed once she felt his skinny body next to her and tears seemed to appear in her blue-green eyes. The experienced warrior hid her face in the dark fur of the tom, nuzzling him comfortably. "I'm not going anywhere, mouse-brain... Where will I go when you're here? I need you so much, Crowfur." She wrapped her tail around his trying to stop his trembling but at the end, she started trembling too, letting out all the sadness, sorrow and pain that had been lurking in her heart for so long.

A soft cry escaped from her mouth as she leaned on her mate. "I.. I'm sorry, my love. I'm not the strong she-cat I thought I was. I thought that... I would be able to handle all this. That I would be able to protect our family. But... I failed. I failed Curlyfeather. I failed Ashpaw, Darkpaw, Sootpaw and Hailpaw. I failed you. I should have noticed it earlier. I should... be by your side." The warrior moved away from his neck and looked at his yellow eyes. "But... I can make things right. I won't leave you alone anymore. We're mates... we have to stick together, right?" Cedarstorm purred with a sad but determined smile.

OOC: I'm dying too right now ... but they need this. Crow and Cedar must heal each other.

For the first in a very long time, Crowfur let out a weak purr. He was wheezing as he nuzzled his mate. Cedarstorm was right. They had to stick together! They had to go through all the hardships together.  A minuscule smile made its way onto his muzzle. As if by a miracle, the dark-furred tom looked gently into the she-cat's eyes. He felt himself being drawn by her beauty. Despite it all, she had never given up. She had never left him. He felt safe, like in its mother's embrace.

The sweet, silent moment was broken by a groan of pain that emitted from his mouth. He jolted and began to tremble. The place spun around him. Terrible pain in his stomach caused him to curl up and rake the ground with his claws. He wanted to kick himself. Why was he stupid enough to not eat for days? Why did he do that to himself? A few pain-filled tears rolled down his face as he tried to stand. He couldn't speak. The pain was unbearable. He looked at Cedarstorm with pleading eyes. He collapsed beside here. A sigh of relief escaped his lips. The pain was over. He looked down in shame. He couldn't look at Cedarstorm in fear that she'd be mad at him. "M-Maybe I-I should e-eat." he said in a trembling voice.

The brown she-cat's calm smile disappeared when she saw her mate collapsing just by her side. Why was she so stupid to not have seen how weak he was before? The warrior licked his forehead and curled her tail around him. "Yes... you should." He mewed before grabbing one of the mice with her paw and putting in front of his paws.

She picked her own but she couldn't eat a bite until her mate did. Cedarstorm had to be sure that he was going to be okay. Crowfur was so emotionally and physically devastated... but wasn't she in the same state? She hadn't been grooming her fur during the past moons like she used to and, even if she never stopped eating, the warrior couldn't find any motivation to continue. Until now. Crowfur gave him strength. Her sister gave her too. The two of them were alive... she had to protect the remaining family she still had. "Now, eat. You must recover your energy and health, my love. It's not too late... We have to overcome this... for us... for our family."

OOC: These two deserve more happiness :'(

OOC: They do :( This will help them heal <3

IC: Crowfur nodded silently and began to devour the mouse Cedarstorm had placed in front of him. It was gone in a blink of an eye. His starving, depressed self was disappearing. 'Good riddance' he thought to himself. He wanted to be like his old self. Be the one to make Cedarstorm smile, not worry. The black tom placed his head on her's and began to purr soothingly. He couldn't remember the last time he did that. He was going to try and recover as fast and as well as he could. He wanted to do this for Silentpaw and Wildpaw. For Curlyfeather and Scorchfang. Especially for Cedarstorm. He gave her a reassuring smile. This was the first step to recovery.