An Overdue Apology

Scorchfang grunted softly as yet another loud rumble sounded from his stomach. He eyed the pathetically small fresh-kill pile hungrily, but he knew he couldn't take anything to eat. That prey was solely for the kits, queens, elders, and the sick or injured. Even though this was his second day in a row without eating a single morsel -- and he felt his strength beginning to falter due to his hunger -- he promised himself he wouldn't eat anything until every single cat in the Clan had been fed at least once in the same day. He cared too much for the well-being of his beloved Clanmates to worry about his own.

Besides, he had more important things on his mind, and he couldn't afford the time to eat. He was struggling to work up the courage to confront his former mentor Violetshine. Every time he saw her he was reminded of the absolutely horrible apprentice he used to be -- how horrible a cat he used to be. He would ditch her teachings just because she was a she-cat, and he would instead train with Crowfur. The warrior hadn't deserved to have a horrible apprentice.

He knew he had to apologize. But what if she didn't accept his apology? What if she still hated him? What if she still saw him as the rude, disrespectful cat he used to be, that he hadn't changed as much as he thought he had?

He knew there was only one way to truly find out.

Taking a deep breath, Scorchfang rose up to his paws, his legs a little trembly from hunger, and he made his way across the clearing to Violetshine. Once he was close enough so that he didn't need to shout across the clearing, he meowed, "Um... Violetshine? Could I have a moment of your time?"

Violetshine had been breaking down a few twigs to weave into the nursery wall when Scorchfang had caught her attention. The elder warrior was surprised by her former apprentice approaching her, though they weren't on bad terms, they were hardly close either. She was a little wary, concerned that he had something else bad to confess, but seeing how weak he looked, she banished the thought. No disloyal cat would starve themselves willingly for their clan.

"You may." Violetshine meowed, trying to remember when was the last time she'd seen him eat. She'd seen him eat some miserable bony thing two or so days ago, but nothing since. Hmph. "But let us share something to eat first, we can replenish the pile after we gain our strength."

She picked up a rat, something the queens or elders would prefer to avoid due to possible sickness. But to a healthy warrior, this was fuel. "Eat as you talk." Her words were a clear command, no loopholes or misunderstandings were possible.

Scorchfang was about to reject the offer, but he quickly realized just what kind of prey was given to him. Rats could carry all kinds of diseases, and he didn't want any cat with a weaker immune system to risk catching anything, especially in leaf-bare. Well... at least no kit would eat it mistaking it for a mouse and then get sick, he supposed. He took a bite out of the rat's side, and immediately his stomach begged for more, but he forced himself to swallow just the one bite before speaking. This was too important to waste time on eating.

The young warrior looked down at his paws, then forced himself to look back up into Violetshine's bicolored eyes. "I... I've been meaning to do this for a long time, but I was afraid of what you would think." A few moments of hesitation later, he continued. "I want to apologize to you, Violetshine. I was the absolute worst apprentice to you, possibly the worst apprentice in ShadowClan history. I don't know why I acted the way I did, or why I had such a strong dislike towards she-cats. I realized my mistake, and I've tried my hardest to change my ways. I think I'm getting better, but... I-I don't know, I don't want to sound like I'm boasting or anything." He shook his head, as if trying to dislodge a tick from his ear. "Sorry, getting off topic. You didn't deserve to have to deal with me. You're a strong and respectable warrior, not a kitsitter, which was practically what you were to me. I'm really sorry for how I've treated you, and I hope you can forgive me."

Violetshine sighed with relief. It really was nothing. Pushing the rat towards him to eat, she meowed with a tinge of amusement. "There is for me to forgive. It is normal for young cats to make mistakes, I never held it against you. My role as a mentor was to teach you to hunt, to fight and lead you to be loyal. If anything, I failed you when you fell for a RiverClanner. I want you to forgive yourself. You are a strong warrior of ShadowClan now, do not doubt yourself. Now eat, and let go of the past."

It was ironic that she was the one to tell him to let go of the past, but saying these words also brought a small measure of peace to her. Perhaps it was time for her to let go of her past too.

So she didn't hate his guts. She never hated him to begin with. Scorchfang sighed with relief as well, and he gave a small smile. "You don't know how much this means to me. Thank you. But I don't feel that you failed me; if anything, I probably failed you." He looked down at the rat as it was offered to him again. "It'll probably take some time before I can completely forgive myself, but I'll definitely try to. Perhaps the two of us can go out hunting after I've finished eating, and we can maybe work on the mentor-apprentice relationship we never got to develop?" That was probably too much to ask, but he really wanted to grow closer to Violetshine. She was definitely a cat worth befriending. He took another bite of the rat as he waited anxiously for her response.