Never Wake Again [Death Topic]

The song I listened to while writing this

Thornstalker could feel her chest heaving but it felt like she wasn't getting enough air. Every inch of her body was on fire as pain coursed through her, her head felt light, and her lungs felt tight. Her head laid on the side of her nest as she continued to heave, before a coughing fit took her body. The sound harsh as the sickness tore at her throat leaving blood to splat out on the ground next to her. Her breathing turned to wheezing after the fit finished, blood sticking to the edge of the she-cats mouth. Finally she raised her shaky head, body weak and slowly shutting down. She was running out of time, she knew it. She just needed to name them, and then she could go.

Blue eyes, dulled from sickness, turned to the mewing kits that sat near her stomach. As much as it pained her to leave them so soon, she felt joy looking at them. She got to see them alive, knowing that she had managed, despite everything to keep them alive, even at the cost of her own life. They would grow into fine warriors one day, she could just tell.

She turned her focus to the one closest to her head. A little she-cat that looked very much like her, the ginger markings over cream and white fur. "Flamekit.." She wheezed out, her voice quiet and frail. "For the flames hiding in her fur." She nudged the she-kit closer to her body very weakly, wanting them to take in her fading scent while they still had time.

The next was a mostly cream tom-kit, with a few markings trying to hide in his fur. They were faint but she could still see them through her slowly fading vision. Just a little longer.. She prayed to Starclan. She wanted to at least name them all before she went. "This one.." She muttered out as she nudged the tom closer. "Brackenkit.. for his hidden pattern." Hopefully those markings would grow just like the bracken fern.

After Brackenkit came another tom. Swirls and stripes covered the tom's fur, almost reminding her of the way frost would lay on the branches of trees during leaf-bare, only to be broken and shattered as paws stepped on it. "Shatteredkit.. resembles the same way frost gets shattered on tree branches.." It wasn't the most conventional name, but it fit him. She felt he would take pride in his name one day. It was unique, just like him. She nudged him closer, making sure he got as much attention from her as she did with the others.

Her voice was growing weaker as she continued down the line of her kits. Her head was getting harder and harder to hold up. Her whole body shook with effort in maintaining her posture, with maintaining her life. Her breathing was rapid and shallow, as she struggled for air. She knew she was struggling but there wasn't much more that could be done for her at this point.. She just hated how everyone else had to stand by and watch, but as long as her kits were okay, it didn't matter what happened to her after this.

The next two were very similar, taking more after their father than her. The smaller of the two was a she-cat, just as strong as the first three despite her size. The golden fur reminding her of the honey Smokepetal would carry back sometimes. "Honeykit, for the gold color running down her back.." Her voice was barely above a whisper at this point, every breath was a fight. "Hopefully one day you will be just as sweet.." She muttered quietly as she pushed Honeykit closer to her siblings, wanting them all to remain warm.

Finally she looked at the last, the weakest of them all, but she knew he had a fighters spirit in there. She couldn't help the pang of concern she felt watching him move slower than the rest, but he was in good paws. With all of the medicine cats around she was certain he would be nursed to good health. "Harekit.. for his gold color.. and the endurance he had to make it this far.." She wheezed out before another coughing fit took her attention away from the five kits that now sat close to her stomach.

Thornstalker leaned back, her body falling to her side as harsh coughs continued to rack her body, adding more blood to the same pile from earlier. She could feel the sting of bile and blood stuck in her throat, but there was no clearing it this time. She knew it was time for her to go. At least Starclan granted her all the time she needed to name her kits, to finally greet them after carrying them for so long.

Her breathing grew slower, eyes falling closed. "Please.. take care.." Her voice was weak, any life that was in it just moments ago didn't exist anymore. She didn't know who she was talking to, but she knew someone was listening. Someone would fulfill her wish. "Of them.." She barely breathed out. Those words taking her last breath with them.

The small she-cats body fell still, no longer did her body heave with pain and exhaustion. No longer did coughs take her voice or her time. She was a peace for the first time in a while. While not among the living, she walked among the stars, warm, happy and full of life, just like the stars shining above Skyclan that night.

There was silence, and then there was everything. So sudden, and so harsh the kit began to wail, crying out with all the might that he had in his tiny body. Forcing his voice out into the cold world that had rudely awoken him. Slowly, everything was pittering out, the sounds that had deafened him becoming clear and distinguished, and smells identifiable. The first words he made out, comprehended, were quiet and gentle. The first comfort he had felt in his short time of existence.

Immediately, he was drawn towards the source. Tiny limbs and unsheathed claws pushing him forward as he blindly lurched towards it. There was a metallic tinge to the air as he grew ever closer, a smell that only intensified, dulling what little sense he had. The tom sneezed, whole body teetering with the force of it. His sealed eyes watered, and he felt unwell. The kit knew nothing of anything, but the first thing he learnt was that he did not like that smell. As if sensing his discomfort, he heard that same voice again, quieter, but closer this time. A shrill squeal left his maw, perhaps delighted to hear it again, and as he felt a gentle warmth pull him in close, just as kind as the voice that came before, he knew the voice was speaking to him.

”Brackenkit…”

A name. His name. Another mewl left his mouth, understanding.

The smell of metal and acid seemed to only grow the closer Brackenkit was pulled to the voice, a voice he realised belonged to his mother. The smell was all around him, the cream tom’s senses overwhelmed by it all. Just as he began to raise his voice again, to squeak and whine announcing to the whole forest his distaste, the stench was gone. Instead it was replaced by a warmth that chased away the chill that hung in the air, and the crisp smell of pine needles and bark. The earthy smell settled Brackenkit, a calmness enveloping the kit as his mother had, taming his wildness and anguish, if just for the moment. He pressed closer to his mother, feeling the rise and fall of her chest, hearing her heart beat and her voice carry out.

But with every moment they grew fainter, the rise and fall became uneven, and her heart unsteady. Brackenkit lay still, clinging to his fading mother and her love. There was nothing his tiny paws could do, StarClan had taken her, and all he had was this fleeting moment. Beneath him, the warmth began to fade as she drifted further to the stars - further from him. Still, Brackenkit pressed closer, even when there was no life from his mother’s body and nothing could block out the bone cutting nature of the wind, he clung to her freezing body.

Wolfblossom hadn't been... entirely surprised when Thornstalker became pregnant, but the news had brought a warm smile to her face even in the midst of the chaos around the clan. Thornstalker would make an excellent mother, she knew, and to have more grandkits... It made her question just where the time had gone, that Falconmoon and Sunfire were both fathers in their own right just as much as it filled the deputy with a sense of pride for her growing family.

And it worried her just as much, when her former apprentice and the cat she considered a friend fell so ill, so quickly. The illness that swept over Skyclan's ranks had not spared the pregnant she-cat, and when the time finally came for her to go into labor, Wolfblossom split her time between offering words of encouragement and trying to tamp down on her own worry. She did her best to stay out of Smokepetal's way, wishing that there was more she could have done. Perhaps if she'd learned more from Plumleaf and Dovefrost, or Beechfang, spent more time around the medicine den so many of her family held court in...

"Stay with us, Thorn." She would pull through, so would the kits. They'd all be fine.

The stars had other plans.

"They're beautiful, Thornstalker." Both the kits and their names, picked so careful and lovingly. Thornstalker's love for them couldn't have been clearer than if she'd shouted it. Wolfblossom felt her heart twist at how weak the she-cat's voice had become as she named her kits, felt the pain in her chest as the she-cat coughed, the ground stained red at her paws. Thornstalker had always been strong, in body and spirit. Now the deputy watched helplessly as that strength finally gave out, fighting the tears that stung her eyes as Thornstalker's breathing slowed.

"We'll take care of them." The deputy vowed, catching Thornstalker's words. The kits, Falconmoon, they would not suffer any more loss if she could help it. The kits would grow up loved and cared for. They were far too young to have memory of Thornstalker... They would just have to remember her for them.

It seemed like mere moments before the rise and fall of her chest stopped. "Stars light your path, friend." Wolfblossom mewed softly, the hitch in her voice having nothing to do with the milder sickness that lived within her as well. Starclan, why? Thornstalker had fought so hard to keep going through the journey despite the illness that had sank fangs into not just Thornstalker, but her mate too. To give life to five precious kits only to have hers ebb. Wolfblossom wanted to scream at the injustice of it. The kits would never know the kind, stubborn she-cat who had held on as long as she could for them.

Wolfblossom forced the thoughts from her mind. She would grieve and contemplate the star's cruelty on her own time. Still, it took her several attempts to finally speak, words catching painfully in her throat.

"We'll find a queen to nurse them. They aren't following Thornstalker." She mewed softly, but made no move to step away. Carefully, she lifted the kits, gently drawing them away from the fading warmth of their mother's body and curling around them protectively.

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He could barely move. Everything around him was making noise, and moving, he could feel paws shoving him slightly as well as a dry nose that seemed to have no warmth to it. The tom weakly lifted his head trying to find the source of the warmth that seemed nearby but he didn't have the strength to get there. The golden kit didn't have to wait too long before the same dry nose shoved him closer, the scent of pine entered his nose as well as the foul scent of illness and blood. It was metallic and gross, and he didn't like it but he couldn't voice his protest for the scent.

Slowly as time went on, the pine scent was growing weaker being overtaken by the scent that could only be described as gross, foul, vile. He wanted to protest, to cling closer to the pine scent, slowly realizing it was the scent of his mother, but no matter how much he willed nothing seemed to go the way he wanted. Eventually what was once warm, was slowly cooling. Unlike his siblings, his voice couldn't be heard among the kits protests. He could only feel what he knew of the world fading from it.

Even as he was picked up and wrapped in another source of warmth, nothing came from the weak kit. No noise no sign of protest. The only sign he was alive was the rise and fall of his chest, and the occasional twitch of tail tip and paws. Hopefully his endurance would prove itself once again, and he would make it through this first critical night.