Family? [Lilyvalley]

The she-kit was stretched just outside the nursery, the night air pleasantly cool against her fur as she gazed wistfully at the camp entrance. A patrol had left earlier, and she had tried to sneak out with them, but had not gotten more than a foxlength from the nursery before being called back. 'You'll be six moons soon enough' one of the queens had told her. Foxdung, Briarkit had thought in response, though she had simply ducked her head and returned to the nursery's entrance to sit.

She wasn't pouting, not at all, as she watched a few of the warriors moving about camp. Leopardstar was on patrol, Tawnyflare was sleeping, her siblings were all asleep and since sleep wouldn't find her, she had chosen to stay outside for just a little longer. A vaguely familiar she-cat had caught her eye,

"Hey!" She squeaked, "Lily...something... Lilyvalley? Lilyvalley, right?" Briarkit gazed up at the calico she-cat, "You were made a warrior recently, what's it like? They still won't even let us become apprentices, we're too young, or something." It was days like this where Briarkit's impatience showed, but maybe hearing about what it was like from others would give her something to hold her over for another few hours.

"You were a warrior before?" Briarkit tipped her head, gazing up at the she-cat with curiosity, "Why did you have to go through apprenticeship twice?"

Pineblossom had said being a warrior was dangerous, Lilyvalley seemed to think it was boring. Impossible, it had to be! "It can't possibly be more boring than being stuck in the crowded nursery all day." Briarkit declared with all the certainty of a kit who clearly thought she had things figured out, "You get to explore the territory - but I guess it's not really exploring if you know it all, and hunt and fight! All I get to do is sit in camp and play mossball or sleep."

Lilyvalley let out a bit of a chuckle. "I had been away for a very long time. When I came back, a lot had changed. I needed to readjust. And part of me wanted a fresh start, too."

She gave Briarkit a look as she claimed she still wanted to go out, and Lilyvalley lowered herself. "You know what? You're right. It's not always boring. But do you want to know the real reason you can't leave camp? I want you to take a good look at me."

Lilyvalley paused, letting the kit take in her features. Briarkit had to learn that things weren't going to be better outside of the camp walls.

"I was not always like this. But I had come across a badger. I was a warrior, at the time, and even then I almost died. I would give anything to be a kit playing with my littermates again."

She would give anything to have her littermates again, but that was something better left unsaid. She sat up, and then gave the kit a smile.

"It's not all bad out in the territory, but we really don't want you kits getting hurt, okay? That is why we keep you in camp. I promise, when you are an apprentice, I will take you out any time you want. For now, though, enjoy what you have. Trust me."

"You were gone a really long time, weren't you? What was that like?" Curiosity burned in her gaze, "Not that I want to leave Shadowclan, of course, I'd never!" Not willingly, anyways.

Lilyvalley lowered herself to the ground, words more serious now, and Briarkit cringed inwardly as realization sank in. A pelt lined with battle scars, it seemed that the world beyond Shadowclan's boring camp could be dangerous. Her ears flattened briefly in dismay, as snippets of what Pineblossom and Tawnyshadow had told her came to mind. "Okay..." She mewed, "I guess there's a reason we have to wait but... It feels like it's forever." She grumbled.

A thought came to her then, spurred by Lilyvalley's words. "You... Grew up with my father, didn't you?" Leopardstar had talked about him, so had a few of the other warriors Briarkit had asked. But she always found herself wanting to know more than what they let slip of the warrior who had died before her birth.

Lilyvalley was quiet for a moment as Briarkit asked what it was like to be away from the Clan for so long. It was something Lilyvalley often didn't like to think of.

"Being outside of ShadowClan was.... it wasn't easy. Cats don't care who you are, or how much you are starving. They will kill you for the tiniest bone. And I hadn't learned how to cope with my jaw, it was.... it still is hard for me to fight. Most of my time was just spent running. Fight if I could, and if I couldn't, just hope they might take pity on me and let me live. It wasn't until Marshall found me... He was Beetlekit's father. He took care of me. He brought me food while I stayed hidden away. But once Beetlekit was born, he just stopped coming. I came back so Beetlekit could have a better life."

She let out a long, drawn out sigh. "I never wanted to leave. But when the earthquake hit... a cat died. And I couldn't save them. I couldn't face the Clan after that. So I ran. I guess I'm a coward for that."

She had gotten so lost in what she was saying, Lilyvalley forgot she was talking to an actual kit, and she started a bit when she realized that. "Oh! I- I'm sorry. That's not something I need to be laying on you. I might have known your father, what was his name?" She was thankful for the change in subject, glad to talk about anything else. She knew this was Leopardstar's kit, but she didn't actually know who the leader had been mates with.

"It sounds really tough," Briarkit mewed. Of course, she could not fathom being away from her clanmates at all, and she did not want to. It must have been so frightening, especially if someone had trouble hunting or fighting properly. Why Lilyvalley had run wasn't something she quite understood either, and she didn't know what an 'earthquake' was either. "What's an earthquake?"

Oh, maybe she didn't know who her father was, if she was asking for his name... "His name was Echomist." She offered.

Lilyvalley chuckled, although there was a bit of an ache in her heart. The Clan really had moved on since then. There are cats that don't even know what had happened anymore. It was just forgotten in time.

"An earthquake is when the ground starts shaking beneath your paws. It's really dangerous, because trees starts falling and water seeps up from the ground. There is a lot of debris, and cats can get very hurt." She should know.

At the mention of her brother, Lilyvalley took a sharp breath. Echomist had kits? How had she not known?

For a long moment, Lilyvalley was silent, taking time to ponder what to say. color=#6e174c]"Yes, I did know him..."[/color] It hurt to think of just how little she really knew him, though. She hadn't even seen as he gave his affections for another cat. The fact that he had a family.

For a moment, she cast her eyes to Leopardstar's den. When Lilyvalley arrived, the leader had looked sad. She assumed she was grieving Nightstar. But she was really grieving her mate... Star, she was so stupid!

"I wasn't close with my family. Not as close as I wish I was. Your father.... my brother... he tried to bridge that gap. Echomist was a better cat than I could ever hope to be." And stars, she missed him. She missed all of them.

She was sure Briarkit would have more questions for Lilyvalley, and it pained her that she wasn't sure she would have the answers for them. She couldn't even remember what her family had been like. This whole time, she had been so focused on herself.

What she wouldn't give to do everything all over again.

"The ground can do that? That sounds terrifying." It almost sounded like it was a joke, except for the seriousness in Lilyvalley's tone as she spoke of how dangerous it was.

At her next words, the warrior fell silent for a bit, and Briarkit wondered if she had said something wrong. Her ears flattened, an apology on the tip of her tongue before Lilyvalley finally spoke.

"I... didn't know. I'm sorry." She mewed. So she had another aunt... How strange it was. But then, her own pelt did somewhat resemble Lilyvalley's, had Echomist had a similar pelt to hers? The dark tabby stripes within the darker sections of Briarkit's fur were clearly from her mother, but not the cream-ginger patches or her white chest and legs.

"What was he like?" Lilyvalley had said they weren't as close as she would have liked, but that Echomist had tried to bridge that gap. So he couldn't have been a bad cat, then.

Briarkit shook her head at Lilyvalley, "And he's your brother." She mewed insistently, had she known, maybe she could have been a bit more careful in how she'd brought him up.

The kit seemed to hang onto every word that Lilyvalley spoke. It was the most she had gotten from, well... Anyone really. Or rather, anyone who wasn't her mother. The accounts of him being a good cat seemed to be confirmed, and it was something of a relief to know. Kind, humble... "I hope I can live up to that one day." She mewed. Echomist had sounded like a good cat, someone to look up to and emulate.

"Hmm." Briarkit thought over Lilyvalley's words, and finally nodded. "That makes sense. I'm my own cat anyways - but it sounded like he was kind, and shouldn't everyone try to be that at least?" She asked, lifting her chin as she looked up at her aunt. To her it had seemed like the positives were worth living up to, but doing so didn't mean she would be in someone else's shadow either, right?