circle of life [c]

Thymelight felt... numb.

Her heart was filled with a darkness that she had never felt so consumed by before, but whenever she closed her eyes, visions of the battle flashed in her vision. Her ears seemed to ring with the snarls and hisses of war, and she could still feel the blood on her paws. It was growing increasingly harder to keep a smile on her maw at all times. She had been subjected to a nightmare that she'd never be able to wake up from, but the world continued to turn, and she still had duties to attend to. The circle of life meant that new life followed recent death, and it brought her the slightest bit of reassurance to know that new kits had joined the nursery. Her older Clanmates were aware of why she had such a somber aura around her, but kits were clueless. They were sheltered from the horrors of war, and Thymelight didn't intend to push that upon her patient today.

As she poked her head into the nursery, she gave Rabbitkit's mother a quick, forced smile before looking over at the little she-kit.
"Hi, Rabbitkit. May you please follow me to the medicine den? It'll be quick, I promise."

"It's alright, little one. You're fine." Thymelight purred softly as she led the way to the medicine den. Stray flowers laid in different corners of the den, serving as tools that she used to make her various flower crowns for her Clanmates. What once used to make her smile only served as a grim reminder of the gifts that she had given to SkyClan only a matter of days before war had befallen them. She shuddered slightly at the thought and blinked away the vision of the petals covered in dark red blood. How long would she be haunted by such visions?

"You're just here for a little check-up. You do want to be a healthy apprentice in a few moons, right?" The medicine cat asked sweetly as she headed toward her herb stash. As she rustled through her pile for a lamb's ear leaf, she found herself pausing to stare at the poppy seeds that seemed to glare up at her from where they laid on the ground. She was already tired of everything reminding her of the war, but she could vividly remember feeding the poppy seeds to her battered Clanmates as they came to her for healing... including Sunfire. She was taken aback by the anger that flooded her at the mere thought of the tom's name, but she swallowed it back when she remembered Rabbitkit's presence. "Eat this for me, please. It may taste a bit yucky but it'll make you big and strong. Nothing more exciting than apprenticehood, right?" She had to hide the bitterness in her voice as she spoke to the young she-kit.

Thymelight turned her head once Rabbitkit questioned her flowers. She felt her cheeks grow hot with slight embarrassment as she glanced around at the stray petals that lined the medicine den. She supposed it was about time for her to clean them up. After all, she wasn't entirely sure if she'd have the motivation to make any flower crowns for a while.
"I suppose I don't need them, but it is nice to have some color in here. You can take some back to your nest in the nursery if you'd like." She explained.

The she-cat wasn't sure how to feel whenever she looked at Rabbitkit. Seeing the kits in the nursery would often remind her of when she had been a kit. The world was so bright and beautiful. Everyone was happy, but she knew that she would never be able to return to that feeling of peace now. She prayed for everyone of SkyClan's kits and for their safety and happiness. None of them deserved to grow up in such a cruel environment... none of them knew what was ahead of them. She only realized too late that she had been staring off into space with a rather downtrodden expression. Thymelight's attention quickly snapped back toward the kit. "My apologies, I... I was just thinking about something. Let's check your teeth, yeah? Open your mouth for just a moment." She gently instructed the kit while inwardly cursing herself for allowing her emotions to get in the way of her job once again.

Thymelight tilted her head to the side as she attempted to translate Rabbitkit's speech. Not many cats were interested in learning how to make flower crowns, but she knew that the warriors and apprentices were all busy with their own tasks, and she didn't mind making such things for them without them having to worry about learning on their own. Rabbitkit seemed to be sweet and inquisitive, and it reminded Thymelight a bit of herself when she had been a kit. She could only hope that the hardships of warriorhood wouldn't harden the young kit beyond repair.

"Of course I can teach you, though you may find that you'll be swamped with a lot of apprentice responsibilities and not have the time. That's alright, though. Hunting and fighting are important things to learn too." She told Rabbitkit and signaled with her tail that it was alright for her to close her jaws. The medicine cat recognized that fighting was indeed an important skill. In a forest where predators roamed freely and murderous cats could cross borders, having the ability to defend oneself was a blessing. It only bothered her when bloodshed was taken too far, especially in avoidable situations.

"Of course warriors can make flower crowns." Thymelight looked down at the young kit with a slightly sad smile as she spoke.
Her mother was right to not tell her a lot about why everyone around camp seemed to be so dejected lately. War was something that was difficult to explain to a kit, and they deserved to spend their moons in the nursery free of such treacherous knowledge or worry. She clearly remembered the night that she had poked her head out of the nursery to see the lightning scars that her Clanmates had seen at the Gathering and not being able to understand how or why such a thing had happened. Thymelight wouldn't wish that kind of confusion or fear on any of the kits in all five Clans.

"I think they'd really appreciate it if you made crowns for them. Sometimes warriors just need to be reminded of the little happy things in life like flowers. They have a lot of daily responsibilities and it can often be difficult for them to slow down and be in the moment." Thymelight explained softly. The happy smiles that her Clanmates had given her before the war when she had presented her gifts to them warmed her heart whenever she thought back to that day. It was a shame that such joy had been stepped on so quickly, but she was glad that it had given them all some sort of hope... even if it was for a brief moment.