Poppykit's Apprentice Ceremony

"Let all cats safe from the bramble's thorns...Gather beneath this rock for a clan meeting."

Her voice cracked - and not just because of of her own sickness. The last time she had called the Clans together for a ceremony was for Cinderpaw who... Who already was no longer with us. A shaky exhale escaped her - gaze falling to her paws. She knew the cat was sickly but she had put hope that with the meals they could now provide and fresh air, she could... She would... ...There was nothing to be done, she knew that - nothing that she could do and yet she felt like she still failed. Maybe if she hadn't sent Cinderpaw out - maybe if she had remained a kit and hadn't been training she would have had the strength to... But there was no point - there had been nothing different to do at the end. Maybe she could have seen the signs of how bad things were before but she didn't and now...

And now she had to continue on - like she always did despite the recent deaths that withered away at her heart - for she was deputy and she couldn't ask anymore of Mottlestar. A new apprentice to replace the one lost - a bitter thought, an unfair thought...But yet one she had all the same as she let out a heavy sigh. She felt tired - her whole body ached but her heart - no, her very soul, ached the worse. All she could do was carry on and be a pillar of strength for the Clan even if she just wanted to curl up into a ball and sleep for forever and a half. Such was the price of leadership, she supposed - it was harder to show her weakness when so many eyes were on her. It was hardly a time to show weakness - so a new apprentice would be named and ThunderClan would pretend nothing is wrong.

And how wrong that felt.

Poppykit heard her leaders call and felt a rush of adrenaline, her racing heart almost distracted her from the pit of anxiety in her stomach. This was it, finally she was about to become an apprentice and assist her clanmates through their journey. Her legs trembled, and she adjusted her paws in an effort to hide her apprehension. Poppykit gave her chest a few licks, and glanced up at Mottlestar, waiting to be called forward.

Acornstem took in a deep breath to steady herself - to chase away all of the doubts and emotions clawing at her chest as she spotted Poppykit rush towards the gathering crowd. Far more energy than Cinderpaw had - there was hope that the young kit would escape the sickness and wouldn't share her fate but... She opened her mouth to start speaking but her voice was caught in her throat as she was forced to swallow the bitter fear that was swelling up within her and attempt again.

"I've called you all here...While our Clan survives, it isn't without loss. We...We've lost our own - to predators, to sickness...To simply disappearing but yet we still grow. We...We move on - the moons will come and go, and more kits will reach their sixth. And so...I've called you all here to witness an apprentice's ceremony - Poppykit, please step forward," she meowed, trying to keep  her voice steady and loud enough to be heard by all. With the moment of pause came a heavy exhale - before she inhaled sharply to find the strength to keep going on.

"Poppykit, you have reached the age of six moons, and it is time for you to be apprenticed. From this day on, until you receive your warrior name, you will be known as Poppypaw," she meowed, before she found herself hesitating. After Cinderpaw's death, Acornstem had wasted little time in checking in on Crocusfrost - as much as the death was tearing at herself. It had been...Something. The matter of future apprentices had come up - and Crocusfrost had stated she would be ready for another if needed. This...This wasn't needed - Acornstem wasn't sure why she was going through with this and she hated the next few words that came from her mouth. "Your mentor will be Crocusfrost... I hope Crocusfrost will pass down all they know on to you."

There was no good reason to give Poppypaw to Crocusfrost - the large she-cat deserved a chance to grieve, there was other warriors who could be a mentor... But Crocusfrost had been such a boon to the Clan recently, she couldn't deny she wanted to give the she-cat another chance to prove herself - to show how good of a mentor she could be. But it didn't matter why - the words still felt like ash on her tongue but it was over and done. Her gaze fell down to her paws, claws leaving markings in the stone beneath her before she rose to her paws and jumped off the rock.

The ceremony was over and Acornstem couldn't bare to have it continue any longer - even if she tended to say more words at the end of one. She hated this - having to pretend everything was fine, to carry on life while her Clan was suffering but she couldn't back out now - she...She just had to accept it. She was deputy - she wouldn't turn her back on Mottlestar just because of their first hardship as a Clan. She...She wouldn't disappointed, she couldn't.

Things would be fine...

They had to be fine in the end.

Poppypaw perked her ears and beamed at hearing her new name. A trill escaped her parted jaws, and her tail flicked upwards in excitement. As she listened to her deputy continue, she watched as Acornstem seemed to mull over something, before she finally announced that her mentor was to be Crocusfrost. Poppypaw had heard of the warriors lost apprentice, and felt suddenly uncertain and the large paws to fill. She resigned herself to trying her hardest to become the warrior her clan needed, adjusting her paws slightly and taking a deep breath. To distract herself, she searched the crowd trying to find Crocusfrost, and in doing so came face to face with the grim reminder of the fate of her clan. Of all the clans. The sickness ravaging around her dwindled their numbers and left those remaining suffering, coughing and shaking through each day. Her ears drooped, her joy snuffed out. With her stomach churning, she focused on keeping her breathing level. This wasn’t a time for celebrations. It was time to get to work.

Sageroot hung back at the edge of the crowd, shaking her head when she heard Crocusfrost’s name. She had barely lost Cinderpaw! Would Sageroot be expected to immediately mentor again if Wiggle… no. She couldn’t finish that thought. She had to be strong, despite her sickness and doubts. Her clan needed her.

Crocusfrost's ears perked and she looked with shock up at Acornstem as she was given another apprentice so soon after Cinderpaw. Conflict warred over Crocusfrost's heart as she got to her paws to meet her new apprentice, a softness working itself to her eyes and her heart that felt so worn with grief already. Soft and uncertain, Crocusfrost leaned down and pressed her nose to her apprentice's nose. "We'll start in the morning. Go collect your bedding and celebrate." She mewed softly before drawing herself back to her full height and looking to Acornstem, giving a soft nod when their eyes met before Crocus turned on her paws to go find Redsun.