Losing Light (closed)

Leopardstar had stretched herself out in a shaded spot as the Clans settled for the night, grateful that she'd always kept an erratic sleep schedule (meaning that adapting to the daywalkers' schedule wasn't quite as difficult as it might have been for some of her Clanmates). She coughed lightly, meant less in response to Sablestrike and more because she hadn't been able to consistently stop coughing for the past few hours. She offered him a smile, as reassurance that it hadn't been directed at him. "I've got time."

She was hoping a full night's sleep, assuming she managed it, would help her feel a bit better the next day. Honeylight would be proud, or at least she hoped he would; she was sure that if he were still here he would have dragged her to sleep several days before.

As it was, Sablestrike seeking her out wasn't uncommon--it was part of their collective responsibility as leader and deputy, that they communicate with one another--but his choice of words was unexpected and somewhat confusing. "Lighttail? What about Lighttail?"

Lighttail was her cousin, and Sablestrike's sister, and she was a capable and respectable warrior who Leopardstar couldn't really find much reason to complain about. Truthfully, it was difficult to complain much about most of her warriors when they numbered so few, but she'd always though highly of Lighttail--not just because of their family ties, but simply because she'd had no reason not to.

Whatever she'd expected Sablestrike to say, it wasn't what he actually said. The SkyClan cat that had stayed in their medicine den... That had been quite some time ago, hadn't it? Before she was ShadowClan's leader, and even before Nightstalker's reputation had fallen so severely. How long had this been happening? When did it start?

From a practical standpoint, Sablestrike had willingly withheld information from her. But she remembered her own sister, and she let herself consider--if it were Vixenpaw, would she have said something? Probably not. "...I can't fault you for not wanting to lose your sister," she said eventually. "Still, I'm glad you told me. I wouldn't have liked to be entirely blindsided by it."

Lighttail planned on leaving ShadowClan. That burned, somewhere in her chest; they'd never been close, not even in the way that she'd sort-of bonded with Sablestrike, but her presence was familiar and she had been a trusted warrior.

"We can't very well force her to stay, if they're willing to take her," she decided. "But there will be consequences. That she kept it a secret so long instead of telling me herself is a breach of trust. That said, I'm not the sole decision-maker--what are your thoughts on the situation?"

"I see." Leopardstar paused, unsure of how to address all of that, as an earlier conversation they'd had resurfaced in her memories. "Is that where your sudden disdain for SkyClan came from? It did feel like a recent development."

The leader closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "Well, Silverhawk did also volunteer; so at least we're not entirely at a loss. That said, if you don't think you can remain impartial--and given your words just now, I have my doubts; though your concern isn't entirely unfounded--I'll speak to Lighttail alone. She may want to leave us, but I want to ensure she understands the level of consequence she's asking for."

Leopardstar believed in solidarity within ShadowClan; and while she had a hard time wishing ill on a cat she cared for, she had a responsibility to her Clan's safety as well as standards of loyalty to maintain. "Understand that while our trust in her is broken, I won't risk what I hope is decent standing with SkyClan's leadership over a grudge on your part--and I won't cast her out without fair consideration. I'll speak to her, and if she's certain she wants to join SkyClan I'll see about speaking with Birdstar and Wolfblossom about it."

Her tail swished lightly, the only sign of her racing thoughts. "Should circumstances change, we can work together to decide a fitting punishment. I feel that exiling her so far from the forest, where none of us know the territory, would be unnecessarily harsh; especially as leaf-bare approaches."

"Yes, if you could inform Crowspirit and Silverhawk of the change, that would be helpful. I'm sure Silverhawk will at least be happy that we called on him after all."

Leopardstar nodded, considering the possibility of one of their warriors abandoning Clan life completely. Was it better or worse, to shed the code like a snake shed its skin, or to betray your Clan for another? What was the disconnect between loyalty to one's Clan and one's heart? It wasn't something she could say she understood; her love for ShadowClan was something deep in her heart and her soul.

"It seems that I'll be more focused on diplomacy for the time being, so in general I would appreciate it if you could look after ShadowClan. Not that I'm saying for you to do everything--that would be a lot of pressure to drop on you so suddenly. It's just that I can't keep an eye on everyone, and I can't be in multiple places at once," Leopardstar said, tail flicking lightly. "Likewise, if you need me to take over things you're expected to deal with, please let me know."

Her relationship with Sablestrike had been strained at best for quite some time, and she'd had her doubts appointing him as her deputy despite fully believing he was both capable and trustworthy, but he had surpassed most of her expectations. It wasn't fair, then, that she'd never said as much. Especially now, when she was excluding him from important conversations; even if he understood her reasoning, it could be taken as not trusting him to handle himself.

"I know that it hasn't been all that long, but I have to admit... I've been glad to have you by my side."