i'm not a good person (not even to you) [c]

Cinderpaw was getting used to being called on for random hunting patrols. It happened every second day, more often than not, and she had begun to assume it was Perchstar's way of getting her to catch up. It was a little embarrassing sometimes, in truth. She had been learning long enough that she should be able to do it all, and she did know how-- But it was like the second she put it into action she'd fumble and blunder on something or another.

Today, though, was a different story. It was her first patrol with Larkpaw and he had yet to discover how abysmal she could be. It made her a bit nervous in truth, to know that this budding friendship-- acquaintanceship--? could crumble just because she flunked at the very last second most of the time. She was trying to hide that, and hoping she was doing that at least a little well... Her head lifted when she heard his question.

"Well, uhm-..." She began, pausing mid-sentence to circumvent a rather fat looking worm that she would've died if she stood on. "I think so. I'm better than I was before, but sometimes I still sort of... Mess it up." That was less embarrassing to say than she thought. Maybe it was because his facial expressions never changed. That was probably it. "I'll do my best not to screw up too badly today, though. I promise."

"Four apprentices now," Cinderpaw replied with a meagre sigh. "She has that, uhm... What's their name? The Clan-hopper... Murkypaw, I think it is. I haven't met them yet. I'm not sure I want to." The idea of this 'Murkypaw' being from another clan unsettled her. She didn't know their story, or why Perchstar even allowed them in in the first place... But that wasn't meant to happen, right?

"Perchstar does her best," She continued, her eyes following Larkpaw as he walked. "When we do get to train together, she teaches me well. I've been on a lot of patrols lately, and I'm guessing that's her way of filling in the gaps...-"

She was going to continue speaking, but Larkpaw's attention was suddenly drawn elsewhere. She lowered herself to the ground in tandem with him. Ah, prey. That made sense. Why didn't she think of that? "You got this!" She purred beneath her breath, and kept herself silent then as the black and white tom closed in.

Her breath caught when she leaped, and waited to hear the creatures final squeak before she dared to lift her head. His excitement almost made his eyes glow. She couldn't help but purr at the happiness in his voice, and she nodded vigorously. "I did! You did that perfectly!" She purred, lifting herself up to join him at his catch. "And that's not a small rabbit either-- You did great, Larkpaw. I don't know how I'll live up to that display."

She could try. But even if she messed it up she was happy that he was happy. She hoped he would be happy more, later on. Happiness suited him.

Cinderpaw listened to his short tips eagerly, nodding her head along to each beat of the sentence. It sounded so simple when spoke, crouch, stalk, pounce. But in practice... Her ears went back as she turned to look into the distance after the wave of his paw. It was so much harder in practice.

"O-Okay," She said with a soft quiver in her tone. "I'll do my best."

She parted her mouth, her ears once again angling forward. Her senses attuned to the sounds of the forest around her, the wind through the beech trees that ringed them, the distant burbling of the river and a faint, scratchy, scurrying echoing from between a tuft of grass ahead of them. Somewhere...

She followed the sound slowly, her ears twitching with each rise and fall of the noises the creature made and her body level with the ground. She grew close and lowered herself again, and with another intake of breath, recognised her prey as a mere mouse. Nothing of such grandeur and cause for celebration, but something edible no less.

Her heart thudded with nerves in her chest and it made her paws unsteady. She grit her teeth and forced herself to focus, and once she believed she was within reaching distance, bunched up her muscles and leaped...

Cinderpaw attempts to catch a mouse... And misses it by the skin of her teeth. -2SP

And yet, StarClan seemed it would not allow her a moment of triumph. Or perhaps it was her own fault. She had it trapped beneath a claw, its small paws flailing and squeaks raising from its little mouth. She met its eyes for a moment, and a hollow, dull feeling spread across her. Only for a second, her concentration slipped, but it was just enough time for the mouse to wriggle its way out. When she realised what was happening, her other paw flung forward to attempt to catch it again, only to get caught and drag up grass and muck beside the mouse, leaving it free to scurry away.

"Oh," Cinderpaw sighed, standing up again with slumped shoulders and her tail stooped low. She looked back at Larkpaw, disappointment and sadness darkening her gaze, before she turned back to watch where the mouse had scampered off to. "I'm sorry, I... I had it for a moment."

Cinderpaw's ear flicked as Larkpaw spoke. She knew this. Follow instincts, don't think. She knew that. Her eyes passed over him drearily for a moment as she cornered her own thoughts, that dull feeling from before sliding to her paws. With a sigh, she shook them out and nodded her head.

"Okay," She said, and with the best faux smile she could, offered him one before turning around to follow her nose again.

Maybe it was because she was being watched, she decided. Maybe she got uncomfortable with an audience. She settled with that, because no matter how much she tried to ignore it she could feel him watching her. He was helping her, she told herself over and over, but it still made her pelt stand on end.

Thus, the wind carried to her another smell. Same as before, undergrowth and damp, but with some other scent to it that set it apart from the first mouse. This mouse had to be stupid-- Did it not hear her trying to hunt the other?

Nevertheless, she settled into the same stance as before. Low and level with the ground, eyes focused, ears forward and tail still. She took a breath and tried to quieten her thoughts. 'I'm sorry if I mess this up again,' She thought, whether directed at her mentor that tried so hard or the company that watched her failures, and struck.

Cinderpaw attempts again to catch a mouse... And succeeds!

Her paw hit it, clutched it, and she bit down quickly. One after another, after another. No thinking. Yet, even as she succeeded, her happiness took a moment to take root. It still looked so lifelike. StarClan sent this mouse to feed them, she told herself, and as she clutched it in her jaws and began to make her way back to where Larkpaw was, the glee finally overcame that dullness that she shook out with every step.

"I did it!" She purred out around the rough yet silken fur of the rodent. She trotted over to him and lay it by his paws, a wide smile on her face that served to brighten the dullness. "Did I do it okay? I did what you said-- Don't think about it-- and it worked."

(i dont know if it counts, but seeing as we started this topic in the season prior i thought it might make sense to stick with the dice rolls from that season)

His tone was contagious, and she found it hard to quieten the purr that rumbled from her throat at the praise. He seemed genuinely pleased with her-- excited for her-- and that made her feel even better about it.

"You're a good teacher," She hummed, her tail high and front paws gradually beginning to tap up and down on the ground. One paw, then the other. Slight little movements but she needed to move some part of her body or she felt like the pride in herself, and passed on joy from Larkpaw, would cause her to melt. "I couldn't have done it without you-- It's like you were able to read my mind. You knew what the problem was... and bam! Fixed."

Part of her wanted to nudge her snout against his shoulder roughly in thanks. Another part of her knew that he probably wouldn't like that very much. When she had done it to Perchstar, she felt the leaders body tense. She assumed it would be the same here, so instead, she leaned her head forward and purred out; "Thank you!"