Those Left Behind [Closed]

Badgermask huffed softly as she came to a stop - having finally found what she was looking for. It was growing harder to recognize the slight dirt mounds for what they were - the marsh was wasting no time in removing any signs of it being disturbed. But finally, she was here - the graves for her littermates. She slowly eased into a sitting position, hanging her head as the last few moments of her clarity replayed in her mind. Moondancer had been fine - the warrior had turned her back for a few heartbeats to lend aid to her mother and when she had turned back around to celebrate their victory...

How had she failed so utterly?

And now their deaths meant nothing. That battle was suppose to be the start of a greater fight against WindClan that was no longer happening - what had even been the point of that bloodshed? She bared her fangs, tail lashing as she hunched her shoulders, leaning forward. "I'm so sorry - Batswarm, Moondancer," she breathed, claws digging to the soft earth below. "I wish - I wish I had been better. A better warrior, a better sister. Maybe then I would have noticed - I could have..." She cut off, closing her eyes as she took in a deep breath. Apologies would get her no where - nothing would change.

They were gone, nothing could be done. She straightened up as she flickered open her eyes - before she turned at the sound of approaching pawsteps. Her fur prickled - she hadn't been expecting anybody else to come to this corner of the marsh, nearly all of the warriors had been assigned on other tasks. She had been doing her best to ignore her Clanmates - to let them think what they wanted of her, if they still believed she was in the haze of grief but it would be hard to deny it...

But then she caught a whiff of the approaching cat. Oh, Harri-No, Heatherberry. She was not used to her sister's new name - it wasn't often that a cat with their full name would change it, but she suppose it made sense with how she was a fully named medicine cat. ...And one of the few cats in the Clan that Bagermask was willing to talk to. Her fur eased as she straightened up, a slight smile curling at her lips - she had been hoping to find a chance to speak to her for a while. Heatherberry was her last remaining sibling - she wasn't about to let her go.

After the heart-wrenching process of burying Batswarm and Moondancer, Heatherberry would take what little free time she had to drop by and say hello. Most times to just sit in silence and pretend that they were there with her - sharing clan ongoings and keeping them updated on the latest gossip - instead of mounds of slowly sinking earth. It wasn't healthy to keep doing this, but else was she to do when her family was in shambles? Burdock understood to some degree, but her mentor hadn't had that same bond with them.

It had been a while since she'd been back. She had been allowed to see Moondancer during her last moonstone meeting, and then Batswarm when she gave her final vow and received her new name. A part of her felt that that had been the closer needed... But it still felt weird to no go every once in a while.

As she grew closer, the unmistakable sound if her dear sisters voice reached her ears. The urge to make herself known was pushed aside as she listened to words she knew weren't for her. Her hear felt like it was being squeezed with sorrowful word that seemed to drip with guilt. Oh, Badgermask...

It would be disrespectful to just barge in on this moment, so the she-cat waited for a pause. Large paws purposefully stomped the ground to announce she was here. Her sister seemed on edge until their eyes met and scents crossed; The walls that Badgermask had immediately thrown up came to a slow tumble in recognition.

"I'm sorry... I hadn't meant to scare you." Now that she really thought about it, this had been the first time she'd gotten to speak to the young warrior in moons.

A gentle huff escaped Badgermask as she turned to stare at the graves before her, but her tail swished - an invitation for Heatherberry to sit next to her. "You didn't scare me - I just..." She grew silent for a few heartbeats, her expression darkening. "...I have no desire to talk to anybody else and I just wasn't sure who was approaching. I'm relieved that its you - I've missed chatting with you," she meowed honestly, giving a small shrug of her shoulders. While she wasn't the most social cats - to those few who had earned her trust, there was an ease in chatting with them. Once, all of her family would have earned that honor but... She couldn't trust in Leopardsun anymore, not with the knowledge that it was her who had first been vocal for the fight that had caused the death of her siblings. She certainly had no words for her uncle but...Maybe she would find comfort in her father - she had heard that he was very unhappy with how things had went.

At least for now, she knew she had Heatherberry to lean on - even if it was her last standing support...

The invitation to sit beside her sister was taken up immediately, fluffy black fur brushing against mottled in comfort. There were many things she would regret from both the past and future, but moments she got to spend with loved ones would not be one of them. "I've missed this, too." A hollowed sigh left her as she stared at the slowly settling earth. She felt the same as Badgermask: unable to truly speak with even her own clanmates in a way that was meaningful. She was present during their conversations, but the hollowed feeling she felt when the visit would end and she would be left alone with herself again was so...

Draining.

"It keeps me awake at night, dear sister. Things will never be the same, and I dread to relearn relationships all over again. Of all the cats in this forest... It had to be us. Our family." She hadn't meant to hit so heavy so soon, but the comforting presence of a family member- who she could still look in the eyes - made it hard not to. Who else was there to talk to about this? The only ones who understood were the ones who were affected. "I... Spoke to Moondancer. I wasn't sure if there would ever be a time to share the words Moondancer had for you, but now is as good as any. But only if you're willing."