Agony of Lost Love [Echomist]

Most of ShadowClan was to be waking up. Roseburn could hear them shuffling around outside of camp. She could hear Leopardsun organizing patrols, and she flicked an ear as she heard some apprentices gossiping about their mentors. Some of the voices she didn't even recognize, realizing that there must have been some new kits.

Roseburn herself didn't fully care. She herself was trying to go back to sleep. She spent a lot of time sleeping nowadays, not that Fuzzybelly ever complained. She was probably being easier at letting herself heal than he had expected. Sometimes she hardly even moved. She had nowhere she needed to be after all.

Now, though, she was curled up, groaning in pain. She usually had gotten used to the pain in her jaw, but with the colder weather setting in, and a chilly wind making it even worse, she was in a lot of agony. That was something that would always be there, she realized. Didn't mean she had to like it.

She hadn't even noticed pawsteps approaching until they were right on top of her.

The sound of Echomist's voice cut through the silence, and Roseburn bit back a groan. Then again, even if she had groaned, she could have easily said that it was from how sore she was. It was actually that pain that stopped her from turning to look at Echomist. Like the slightest shift would break her. It certainly seemed like it.

"It hurts so much. It feels like everything is on fire."

A simple, honest answer. She didn't want to say too much, her conversation with Harechaser proved how disastrous that could be. That was why she hated that Echomist was here so much. It felt like it was just going to be a repeat.

Closing her eyes, she focused on her breathing. As long as she kept doing that, everything would be okay.

Roseburn shook her head. "It's the cold. It makes it hurt that much more. Fuzzybelly said it was ghost pains, I think? But they won't go away."

She let out a shaky sigh, squeezing her eyes tighter shut. If she could just will the pain to stop.

"Nightstar said I had to relearn how to hunt and fight. With how weird my jaw is now, I can't do things like I used to. What if I can't be a warrior anymore, Echomist?"

"But what if I can't, Echomist?"

Her voice came out louder than she intended, and she shifted away from her brother, embarrassed. But she still continued.

"What if I'm just not meant to be a warrior? I mean, look at me, Echomist! I'm a mess of a cat. I ruin everything! No cat even likes me anymore. And why would they? They can say anything and I might bite their tail off. And they would never even know what they did. Stars, I don't even know why I act this way. All I ever do is hurt cats, Echomist. I hurt Swiftheart, I hurt Harechaser, I hurt everyone. Maybe you should just go. Before I hurt you too."

Once again Roseburn turned around, slumping in her nest. "Sometimes I wonder if Nightstar made the right call, stepping in when he did."