The Memory Remains [Open after Swift!kids post]

If Swiftspirit's relationship hadn't been painfully obvious to anyone with a set of eyes, it would be to anyone who had known the tom in life that happened to look inside the nursery now.

By the time Swiftspirit had realized that her nausea had been far more than just the nauseating stench of death, it had been far too late to truly panic over being pregnant. In the back of her mind, maybe she'd known, she just hadn't wanted to acknowledge it. Not after losing so much. Not after losing Bearspirit. Now though, the kits were born, and she'd resolved to focus and not wallow in her own grief. The kits deserved, needed someone better than that.

They looked so much like him it hurt. Bearspirit should've been there, too, Swiftspirit knew he would've been excited. A life together, a family, that had been what they'd wanted. And he'd died before he even had the chance to know, at the claws of some dead nightmare come to walk the lands of the living. Starclan was gone, as far as Swiftspirit knew, and she had little idea of what that truly meant, not that it really mattered in the long run. Bearspirit would never join Windclan as they'd hoped, he'd never watch the kits grow into warriors. Would never teach them to hunt or fight.

Wouldn't be able to shield them from the horrors that had taken the clans by force, either. Not that anyone could, rationally, Swiftspirit knew that. She could not wrap her kits and moss and keep them protected from everything. She couldn't even keep them in the nursery forever. As reasonable as that knowledge was, it scared her. It wouldn't stop her from trying everything she could to protect them as long as she could, either.

Not that she'd done a good job at protecting the rest of her family. Guilt and grief tugged at her, and distracted by her own thoughts and general exhaustion, Swiftspirit hardly noticed as the four moon old kits began to stir awake in the nest beside her.

She jumped slightly at the press of paws against her shoulder, glancing down to find one of the kits gazing up at her. Brackenkit's fur was... eerily similar to her father's, light cream base broken up by warm brown marbled tabby markings that faded to dark brown and black on her legs, tail and face. Swiftspirit found that she had to fight past the lump in her throat to speak, the physical reminder of her lost mate hit much harder recently, though it wasn't any of the kits' fault.

"Mom, can we go outside?" Brackenkit was good at asking rather than just running off and making Swiftspirit panic, at least. Her first instinct was to tell the kit no, that they were all staying in the nursery. It was too early to be up, it was too cold out. A hawk could swoop into camp. The shadows lurking around camp were more dangerous than any predator they could ever dream of facing. She had to fight her reluctance, knowing that the kits couldn't stay cooped up in the den forever.

"Okay... I'll come with you. But stay close to the nursery, alright?" She responded, leaning down to smooth a stray patch of fur between Brackenkit's ears. It earned her a purr, though the kit squirmed out of reach, too. Already, the kits were growing older and more independent by the day, and Swiftspirit very much wished it were otherwise.

Sagekit awoke in a cocoon of fur, her siblings pressing in on all sides. The comforting scents of the nursery greeted her warmly from her slumber, and she opened her eyes blearily. Squirming out of the tangle of kits, she ventured toward the edge of the nest, laying her head on her paws and staring off into the distance. Sometimes it was fun having so many littermates, but other times it could be... overbearing. It was a wonder the nursery even had enough space to accommodate them all. Speaking of littermates, as Brackenkit mentioned going outside, her ears perked up, waiting expectantly for her mother's response.

Privately, she thought the nursery was quite crowded and preferred the open space of the camp beyond, though her mind couldn't help but wander even further. She'd heard stories about the moors Windclan called home, but she'd never seen them herself. Maybe they could take an adventure outside of camp? Everyone was always telling the kits they weren't allowed due to the dangers they might face, but if they all went together surely it would be fine, right?

Swiftspirit's reply only further cemented the idea in Sagekit's brain. Turning her wide brown eyes to her mother, she let the question slip casually.

"Hey mom, do you think we could go out and see what the moor looks like, just for a little while? Everyone always brags about how windclan has the best territory, and besides, maybe we'll catch something to bring back."

It seemed like a perfectly logical idea to her, she couldn't imagine why anyone would disagree.

"Can I come?" the words were out of Owlkit's mouth even before his eyes were open, but he'd been half-awake ever since Brackenkit's warmth pulled away from the other side of him. Shockingly pale eyes fluttered open, and the kit stretched his forelegs, hopping to all fours with a yawn and a flash of long fangs. The dappled snowy tom moved forward on sleep-stiff legs, ducking his head to press it against Swiftspirit's haunch and then dragging his entire body along his mother's until he was under her chin, where he sat, barely able to fit anymore without hunching his shoulders.

He offered a quiet chirp in greeting to Brackenkit and Sagekit, and had it not been so chilly, would have moved forward to touch noses with them - instead he was content to linger here for the moment, sheltered by the warmth of Swiftspirit at his back. Sagekit's query made him perk up, and he purred quietly. "Yeah! Can we go out and explore, soon?" he asked, tilting his head back at an almost comical angle to glance up at his mother.

Shimmerkit had two moods: Dead asleep and bouncing off the walls. He heard Brackenkit and the others speak and his head shot up immediately from his nap. They were going outside??


"I want to go outside!" He announced excitedly. In a flash he was on his paws and zipped out of the nursery despite his paws being a bit large for him at the moment. The silvery kit made a circle in the snow with his paws all the while running at full tilt. The monsters and stench of decay around camp was something he grew up with. His mother had warned him that they could be dangerous, but so far they hadn't done anything to him that was noteworthy. Satisfied with making one trampled pathway in the snow, Shimmerkit immediately bolted a short distance away to make another. He loved the crunch of the snow beneath his paws. He loved the openness of camp in comparison to the cramped nursery. The fresh air, the little bit of light that broke through the clouds sometimes... What wasn't there to love about being out in camp?

"Am I any faster than I was yesterday mom? I've been practicing!" Not really. Whenever she wasn't outside watching them he was in the nursery out cold. He was breathing hard after having zipped around, but there was still plenty of energy burning bright in his eyes. It didn't seem like most things bothered the young tom. He was ready to make a third circle if his mom wanted to see him run again. He was in a play-bow type of position that dogs might take, but he had no way of knowing that it was a weird thing for a cat to do. It probably wouldn't stop him if he knew anyway.

All the pieces had fallen into place for Magpiesight, and everything made much more sense now. She wasn't quite yet sure how to feel about it, but at least she didn't constantly feel as if she was missing something. Although she had never fully dedicated herself to the duties of a warrior, she had always held the cats around her to the sometimes high standards of the code. But here her mother was, breaking possibly one of the most emphasized rules, and she couldn't bring herself to be angry at her.

From the pelt alone of almost every kit in the litter, it was more and more clear who the father was. The tom at the gathering, who had been so swiftly and brutally murdered, right in front of Swiftspirit. If this had happened earlier, Magpiesight would've resented the Riverclan warrior for tearing her family apart. But now, she had no family left to break. Her mother had been happy while it had lasted, and that had the same affect on the warrior, a new feeling, but there all the same.

"Hey ma, I brought this for you," She said, a rabbit in her mouth. It was skinny from leaf-bare, but better then nothing. Carefully she padded through the nursery towards the white she-cat, careful not to trip on any of her siblings. Half-siblings. After putting the prey down, she bumped her head into her mother, "It's alright, I'll keep an eye on them."

Turning to the kits, she added, "And absolutely no-one will be going on the moors today." She looked pointedly at Sagekit, "Our territory is the best, but only when you're big enough to navigate it. Wouldn't want you getting stuck down a rabbit hole!"

It had certainly surprised Magpiesight how much she enjoyed spending time with the litter. She was almost always happy to watch them, as long as they stayed far away from her collection, an cause no-where near as much trouble as she had as a kit.

Boarkit was... silent, but she was always like that it seemed. Her face was stony for a little kitten, and a lack of passion accompanied it. Boarkit looked up to her mother, her one and only care, already so determined to constantly be by her side. She'd be happy with whatever her mother wanted, she was sure.

Fallowkit was deep, deep asleep in the nest, unlike his littermates. As they shifted and squirmed beside him at the prospect of going outside to play, the little tom let out a frustrated huff. He cracked open one eye to see the familiar pelts of his siblings inching closer and closer to the entrance of the nursery.
"We're going outside?" He yawned, giving his downy speckled pelt a shake. "S'cold, Mom," he grumbled and pressed into Swiftspirit's side.

[ooc: oops, got real busy irl and didn't have anytime to post here, my bad]