HE AWAKENS [open]

A few breaths had past since Loudnose opened his eyes. It smelled of herbs and Basilbloom. Quite obviously the medicine cat den. His head swirled and vision was fuzzy, but it cleared up within seconds. The tom processed the setting as his brain tried to figure out what he was doing. The combined image of his cast and memory of being on the Thunderpath helped him soon understand what had happened.

Mild panic stuttered in the tabby, his breathing quickened. I- I.. a monster. I've been attacked by a Thunderpath monster. Loudnose scanned himself in frantic effort to know if he was intact. Nothing was really bleeding, and infact seemed well treated. A quiet sigh of relief washed out some of that fear.

The Thunderpath?! Why- that's so.. mouse-brained! The panic rose again. Less about his health more about how much trouble he would be in. He glanced to the exit, wondering if he could get himself out into camp. After considering, he decided he wouldn't risk it. Some cat would come soon right? Instead he simply -and carefully- shifted himself so he could see outside. He tried grooming his front paws in attempt to calm down, anxiously waiting for someone to talk to him.

Swiftpaw stood at the entrance of the med den taking a few deep breaths before she dared enter. The last time she had seen Loudnose had sent her into a deep sorrow where she had cried in front of everyone and she wanted to be more calm so as not to freak Loud out. She had a fresh piece of prey from the fkp in her jaws to give to her injured brother.

She hesitated but slowly entered the medicine cat den peaking her head in first. L-Loud? she called out walking all the way in.

She purred softly upon seeing him. She set the food down at his paws so she could talk easier.

"Hey You! I'm so glad you are awake now. We were all so worried!" she sat next to him and rested her head on his shoulder purring softly. I brought you something to eat... I thought maybe you would be tired of eating herbs all day she grinned slightly doing her best to cheer him up.

You stupid furball you almost gave me a heart-attack you know. she purred in a soft but scolding tone she pawed at her older brother playfully to let him know she didnt mean it seriously. What were you even thinking? Being out on the ... her voice trailed off and instead she wrapped her paws around him giving him a big hug.

He was still alive and mostly uninjured, for this they were both so lucky.
Why scold at him when it was clearly an accident? If anything this showed Swiftpaw to hold family closer rather than hold onto past errors... even if these errors were rather mousebrained.

Just please dont scare me like that again, you have no idea how worried mom and dad were too. You are so lucky Basilbloom was here she probably saved your life, we have a really good sister, you owe her big time. she continued talking nonstop, which was normal for her. She took a deep breath Sorry im probably talking your ear off but its just I want you to know how much we care about you. she bobbed him on the nose gently, playfully. "Us siblings have to look out for each other, all 5 of us, thats right, while you were out of it Mistyfalcon adopted a new kit, spottedkit" she purred happy to be the one to tell him the news.

She tried hard not to stare at his tail or back paws but glanced at them a little. So, how are you doing? c-can you still feel your legs and tail? she asked hesitantly worried about what the answer might be. They looked alot better from the cast Basilbloom had used but it still looked sore.

A white head peaked in- Swiftpaw. His little sister. Precious, sweet Swiftpaw. He kept silent, watching the she-cat present him food and then cuddle up next to him. The tom listened carefully while fixing his gaze on the fresh-kill, eyes devoid of emotion. Just staring blankly, not daring to glance at Swiftpaw.

Her words weren't meant to hurt him, but he still had to blink back tears. A horrible feeling hung in his chest, causing him to feel like he couldn't breath. Sadly her hug didn't help. It couldn't throw away that raw feeling of devastation and regret. Of guilt and shame. He had caused his family that one feeling he despised.

Loudnose turned his head away, and his expression shifted from a blank one to one of frustration as Swiftpaw carried on in her lecture. It was painful to listen to her. His ears folded back and flattened against his tabby head. Every word built anger- resentment. It wasn't at Swiftpaw though. No, it was directed at himself. At his foolish mistake. A fool. That's what I am.

Swiftpaw mentioned a new sibling- Spottedkit. He turned to her, interest and suprise clearing off that frown. He gained eye contact as he searched for words. ".. That's good. Great, even." He looked back to the prey, gently biting the tiniest bit off. He flicked his ears when Swift spoke again. "Yes. It is.. uncomfortable."

Loudnose didn't want to be scared. The last thing he wanted was to cry right now. Not in front of her. "I'll be fine though.. You're right Basilbloom is a great medicine cat." He gazed warily at his foot. No doubt he trusted Basil, but what if..

He took a deep and shaky breath and continued on with his meal. With each bite it felt like his anxiety grew. So many terrible feelings, it was crushing. Crushed, just like his leg.

If not the first, then Duskflight would've been the second to come, the very least. A white-furred apprentice stood by the entrance of the medicine den, just as equally concerned as he was. Slowly, the younger cat finally has decided to head in— and so would he. The tom exchanged an encouraging smile to Loudnose, and he sat down somewhere near him. He waited for the apprentice to be finished with her although light; yet worried scolding for the tom— and he finally spoke up. "Hey there, Loudnose. How are you feeling?" Hidden beneath his voice was worry and concern, though the tom tried not to let it get in the way too much.

"And.. Swiftpaw's right. You did scare us a lot, Loudnose... Everyone was worried that you'd have further injuries, though fortunately, you're alright now. Basilbloom's been working hard to treat you, you know." The tom smiled. He tried to lighten up the atmosphere, as he felt it'll be looming down soon if he hadn't. He disliked seeing everyone so... disheartened and down. Especially Loudnose himself, he always was beaming with joy; until now. The warrior seemed so panicked and anxious, and Duskflight wouldn't blame him for being so either. He too would be shaken up if such an event was to happen to him. "Basilbloom's a great medicine cat, Loudnose. Even if... Somehow, the injuries lasted; we'll be here for you. I'll be here for you, and so would everyone else in the clan." His eyes shifted to the tom's injuries as he spoke, then back at him. The warrior gave him a comforting lick to the ear, followed along by a warm grin. You'll be okay, Loudnose. I'm sure of it!

Swiftpaw felt awkward and bad, Loud wasn't even looking at her. Her older brother used to be so talkative, even more than her which was saying something. Now he was quiet though and he avoided her eye contact.

Maybe she was too harsh with him? She felt awful, here her brother was lucky to be alive and she was chewing him out and giving him grief and guilt over it way to go swiftpaw you are a terrible sister she thought to herself.

she flicked the tip of her tail. "Erm I didn't mean to be too hard on you. you know that right? she shifted back and forth on her paws awkwardly.

She nudged him again playfully trying to distract him from the uncomfortable tail and leg. Yeah spottedkit is great you would really like her, hey maybe you could be her mentor she continued desperate to keep Loudnose focused on something positive.

He blinked at Swiftpaw, at her question. "I- yeah. I.. I know." He rested his chin on her head briefly, fearing she thought she wasn't helping. No matter what, he couldn't let her feel like how she did when he was knocked out. "A mentor? Yeah I'd be up for that." Not likely in this state though..

Loudnose didn't notice Duskflight until he spoke. He hesitated answering the warrior's question. Answering honestly? It would upset them.. That's the last thing I want. He responded with a sad smile, "Yeah. Yeah just a bit shaken."

Duskflight carried on talking, a common denominator between his two friends. The black tom repeated what Swiftpaw had said, which was a bit frustrating but Loudnose was determined to make them feel as if they're helping. I've caused enough damage, I don't need to have them more worried. He could see them trying to cheer him up- he wasn't about to have that seem worthless.

"Thanks guys, it helps," he purred before licking Swiftpaw's forehead. He still felt scared and uncertain, and dreading that talk with Murkystar and Mistyfalcon, but he was confident everything would be back to normal soon. Looking on the bright side, he now had more time to hang out with Basilbloom. And spend time with Spottedkit. Loudnose was curious to meet them. Maybe he would get out of this den quick and get to mentor his new sibling.

Nightpaw stood stiffly at the den entrance, a wad of water-soaked moss in his mouth as he looked down at his brother with something close to contempt. Conflict stirred within the young toms chest, as he stepped in and silently dropped the moss in front of Loudnose. He was uncertain whether to be angry or grateful about Loudnose's condition and how to approach it. Nightpaw stared coolly down at his brother, before deciding just to come out with it. "You're actually mouse-brained aren't you? What were you thinking? Or were you even thinking at all? Did Marshmallow put you up to this?" Nightpaw hissed, apparently choosing vehement anger like the usual tom. "Surely you must know just how lucky you are? How Starclans blessed you are?" Nightpaw huffed, his eyes growing a little watery.

Duskflight's eyes widened as the apprentice spoke. He frowned, knowing how worried Nightpaw was.. But so was everyone else. Blaming the tom now wasn't it, he needed further rest. "I don't believe Marshmallow ever put him up for this, and she's proven herself guilty enough already." He mewed. Nightpaw was angry for his decision, and so was a lot of other cats. Yet, taking out his anger on the warrior now was quite frankly— not such a good idea for now. "That's enough, Nightpaw," The tom firmly spoke, "Yes, he already knows how lucky he is, and taking your anger out on him isn't helping." There was a brief moment of silence before he finally spoke again. "We all are just worried for you, Loudnose. I'm sure Nightpaw doesn't mean any harm, so don't beat yourself up for it." The warrior offered yet another smile, looking both to Swiftpaw— and Nightpaw, then back at him.

He'd taken notice of how the dark-furred apprentice's eyes have gotten slightly watery, and his expression changed to being perplexed. He'd usually comfort cats like so, yet he hardly has ever talked to Nightpaw before, and felt unsure about doing the same. And so using his tail, the tom gave the apprentice a subtle brush to the back.

Swiftpaw winced at Nightpaw's words... were they true? Yes, Loudnose's actions were not the smartest... For a warrior they could even be considered quite mousbrained.

Did Nightpaw need to say them to loudnose though? No... well maybe Nightpaw needed to say them but loud didnt need to hear them... not yet anyways.

She gave a quick glare at Nightpaw but could not hold it for long.

Seeing Night's eyes water, she knew this was Nightpaw's way of handling the pain.

she sighed not really sure on what to do. Nightpaw and her were often opposites on how they handled things but it didn't mean she couldn't see his point of view. She understood Nightpaw's anger and frustration but she had chosen to go about this completely differently.

Loudnose he doesn't really mean that she finally said breaking the very awkward silence.

she gave a thankful nod to Duskflight hoping the warrior's words would help calm Nightpaw, but doubting it... Nightpaw had always been unemotional, blunt, and straight to the point. This was his way of dealing with the situation.

At the same time however, she wanted to be careful as to not push Nightpaw away too much, he just showed his concern differently than others was all. It was just difficult knowing exactly how to handle this situation though.

Agreeing with Nightpaw too much would be terrible for Loudnose's mental state when he needed it the most right now, Loudnose could not give into despair.

On the other hand her instinctual response of smacking Nightpaw upside the head yelling what was wrong with him and shooing him out of the med den was also not great, Nightpaw did care she knew it. He just sometimes showed it in a very... hard to see backwards way. Pushing him away was not the correct option either.

So she just instead sat there awkwardly feeling trapped between her two siblings not wanting to have to say anything... for a rare time in her life she truly was speechless.

Oh what a mess... maybe an enemy clan could invade us right now to break the tension... surely that would be more enjoyable than this awkwardness? she thought to herself panicking overdramatically as usual.

She looked up at Loudnose trying to see what his reaction was. She hoped he would shrug it off and talk about anything else. She guessed that would not be the case.

He stared up at Nightpaw, trying to sort out what just happened. More scolding, but this time it wasn't with a kind tone. His ears flicked back again, accompanied by a nervous frown. Loudnose could tell Nightpaw felt hurt, it was clear to see. The words still stung though. A lot. Probably the most. It felt as if Nightpaw dug claws into his head and pulled out exactly what he felt awful about. And he's right. I truly am mouse-brained. Why wasn't I thinking? I would've died.

Cats were looking at him, waiting to see what he would do. He wanted to walk off, to get away from this. Though he couldn't, his leg had him trapped. The tabby felt the urge to snap back at his brother, but he didn't want that. Nightpaw was just being honest.

So he cried. Tears began forming, and his breathing started to hiccup. Loudnose buried his face in his paws as the tears went down his cheeks and dampened his fur. Not now! I don't want this. Loudnose realized something was in his claws. It was a ripped up moth. I'm such a kit aren't I? Runs onto a Thunderpath for a moth and then cries when told he's in trouble. Stop crying mouse-brain.

Nightpaw scoffed, 'I'm sure Nightpaw didn't mean it' what was with everyone and putting thoughts and emotions and their agendas in his mouth as if he was the one to speak them? Nightpaw stepped away when he felt the warrior's tail brush his back and opted to remain silent, no matter how he wanted to communicate his distress, it was clear to him that it was unwanted and unneeded. When his older brother started with the waterworks, he at least had enough decency to look away, he did not like it when anyone witnessed him crying, so why would Loudnose want an audience?

As Loudnose's hiccups gradually became more distinctive, Duskflight flattened his ears down, now unsure of what to do. Nightpaw's figure stepped away from him, and he bit his inner cheek in distress. Sure, the tom was alright at trying to cheer things up... Though unfortunately, not so much for comforting cats. He wasn't properly taught that before— ending up being often puzzled how to react when cats are down. His efforts were not at waste, though he could easily tell Nightpaw's words stung.  The warrior's gaze fell to his paws and he remained silent, unknowing of what to do; or even say. The tom would usually have something, anything at all to cheer up the atmosphere; yet he struggled to come up with anything now. His tail anxiously wrapped around his paws, and the tom continued to stay quiet.

Swiftpaw felt awful when Loudnose started crying. Oh, Loud she said gently

She nuzzled him closely purring softly.  She knew what this was like, to be crying in front of everyone it had happened to her when his unconscious body was dragged back into camp.  At that point she had just wanted someone to comfort her, sit next to her and tell her it would be alright.

So that is the approach she tried to take, not sure if that was really correct or not for Loudnose however. she was kinda guessing here.

She licked his forehead trying to calm him down. "Its gonna be okay" she continued.

Everyone makes mistakes its okay.  It was an accident, it's not your fault.  It's not your fault she repeated.  

She glanced up to see Nightpaw looking away completely ugh of course that was so like him, to make a mess and then not want to do anything to help her clean it up.  She sighed annoyed and threw him a glance that said Really? Now look at what u did? she rolled her eyes in annoyance, their personalities sometimes clashed but he was right ... she just wished he didn't say it quite like this if at all.

She saw Duskflight also looking at his paws unsure of what to do.  It was not his fault for this and he had been doing a really good job of helping support Loudnose before Nightpaw messed it all up.

"Erm Duskflight perhaps you could ask Basilbloom for some poppy seeds? it may help calm him down" she suggested wanting to get the warrior involved so he wouldn't have to stand there unsure of what to do.

She continued to do her best to comfort Loudnose and kept very close to him.

Loudnose held his breath, refusing to let another sob out. It was pathetic to be crying in front of younger cats, especially about something that was his own fault. Plus it felt like Swiftpaw was trying to tame a scared rabbit, which was anything but soothing. Be calm, he demanded himself as he brought his head up from his paws. Clearing his throat before softly telling Duskflight, "I don't need poppy seeds. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that- break down. I um.. what else has happened since I was... out?" He spoke quietly and slowly, something very new for the tom. Loudnose nuzzled his sister as an apology for having to comfort him. Hopefully he could manage his emotions enough that she wouldn't have to worry again. And don't be foolish.

Marshmallow had been glancing back the medicine den every once and awhile to check on the state of Loudnose. If he didn't recover soon, she would be seen as a murderer. It wasn't her fault, really, it wa just that Loudnose was too much of a kit to care about consequences. Camp was ever so boring and... Oh.

The one time she hadn't checked.

Cats were starting to enter the den. They didn't look hurt, and they didn't come out disappointed, did the brown tom wake up? Sure enough, as she padded over there and looked inside, there he was. Sitting down and talking to the others.

Her ears caught way of the last thing said, she entered the den.

"Hi Loudnose. Er... Sorry." Her expression switched from hopeful to sad. "I really shouldn't of pointed out that moth to you. I'm glad you're awake though, I'm afraid that I would've been thrown out of Shadowclan if you died." Sounds real sorry there. She thought, wow she wasn't good at this. "Er... well I got a punishment, as expected. I dragged you into camp after you fainted in a bush and Basilbloom took care of that- you should thank her, really." Maybe I should, if Basilbloom couldn't save Loudnose I would've gotten all the blame. No no no no no- it's not my fault. It's Loudnose's fault, he chased the moth. "Well. I'm glad you're awake, welcome back." She put on a smile. It felt fake. Everything she said in that kit voice did. I'm a really fake cat, the real me isn't the real me it was before and now I'm just lying my way out of everything. It wasn't good. She knew it wasn't good. But why stop when it was easy? Why stop when she knew the things she could get away with? Why should I stop when it gets me what I want?