Flustered Feathers [C]

Henpaw sat in the middle of camp, eyes closed, taking deep breaths. They needed to talk. Her siblings needed to know of Tawnyflare. Her father needed to know where she was. Most importantly, they needed to know about the step she was consid- the step she was taking. She wasn’t asking permission. She- she was mature enough to make her own decisions, but… she hoped to high StarClan this would be taken well. Maybe she wouldn’t talk about just yet, not until it was done. But no true WindClan cat ran away from something, figuratively or not. Maybe I’m not a true WindClan cat, she thought miserably. No. She was not about to start feeling sorry for herself. She was going to talk to her family, at least about Tawnyflare, and she was going to do it. Now. Right now.

Henpaw padded up to each of her siblings with the same message. “We need to talk. All of us. It’s important- meet me at the Lone Stump.” She left her siblings who weren’t yet apprentices alone. Timberpaw could tell them later, he’d be good at that. With her father, however, she proceeded with due respect, waiting until he was alone and didn’t look busy before approaching. ”Father,” she greeted with a dip of her head. “I need to speak to you and the rest of our family. It’s important, and… not something we would wish to discuss in camp.” She looked hard at an inquisitive kit who had wandered too near, and it fled back into the nursery with a squeak. The queens might get mad at her later- she didn’t care. “Please, if you are able at the moment, meet us at the Lone Stump.” She dipped her head again before heading off, onto the moors. Once there, for the last time this day, she ran. Ran until her legs burned. She couldn’t keep doing this to herself, but for now, she ran. With this speed, she reached the stump before any of her family and leaped onto its wooden surface. She sat there, gazing out onto the moors, illuminated by the setting sun. Once they appeared, they could all sit on the Stump and talk. From there, only an eagle could overhear their conversation.

It seemed like their kits had grown before his eyes. Allegedly, the rest had done the same, but Fawnstep had hardly spared them a thought during any phase of their growth, hardly taken note of their achievements or apprenticeship. For this reason, the warrior had grown to know his offspring merely as fellow warriors. But it was this brood, the ones he had selected and chosen to rear by claw, that he thought would finally be noteworthy and exceptional. The blood that ran through their veins was fierce and wild, as untamable as their lost mother. He had to suppress a growl at the mere thought of her name now.

Unfortunately, the thought of seeing the she-cat had still haunted his sleep, rendering him far more exhausted than ever before - perhaps only comparable to the many nights he had spent running himself ragged to try to escape the clutches of Asylum. It had become relentless, the way these intrusive thoughts ran through his normally sharp and driven mind. Fawnstep hated facing his own emotion, or considering the turmoil churning about. And he never would. But it was for this reason that the voice of Henpaw caused his head to snap around usually fast, a glare fixing behind his gaze. He softened upon realizing it was one of his youngest kits. She'd proven to be decent thus far as an apprentice.

"Alright." He meowed simply, finally. Perhaps, a previous Fawnstep would have argued whether this was a good use of his time, prodded for answers before setting off, but this soften fortitude made him a tad more pliable. As Henpaw set off, the brown and white tom was streaking after her, soaring across the moors. The wind that ruffled his pelt was a welcome comfort. Such a small reassurance made him want to run further, faster, and never stop. But the lone stump was not far now. Coming to an abrupt halt, the warrior settled back on his haunches and fixed the she-cat with a curious gaze, "So, what's this about? Speak up, Henpaw."

Timberpaw was very confused.

One half of him was a very worried Timberpaw. Had he done something wrong? Had she done something wrong? Was Henpaw leaving? Why did she need all her littermates to go with her?

The other half was hopeful. There was such a slim chance that it was about his mother returning, yet he was still a hopeful cat.

He pushed the worry to the back of his mind and the hopeful to the front. He got up, out his nest and walked out of camp, towards the lone stump. He noticed his father was there too, but mother was nowhere to be seen. "... Henpaw..?" He had a slight worried tone to his voice.

Henpaw had closed her eyes, kneading anxiously at the ground. For a moment, she almost imagined she was somewhere else, on the top of Highstones perhaps. The wind in her fur, the whole world beneath her paws… her father’s voice brought her back to reality. She had to speak. She had to speak now, about everything she worried over. In one day, her life had been taken out from under her paws. To fix it, she had to start at the bottom, with what made her even consider becoming a medicine cat.

“Very early this morning I found Tawnyflare.” Very short, very to the point. She took a deep breath and continued. “Father, I don’t know if you knew this, but to me, it was a great shock. She had simply left the Clan in the heat of battle, running off like the coward she herself admitted she was.” She’d have to speak to Ryesnap, ask him about what he’d said. “If it hadn’t been for Ashfall, Timberpaw and I and our other siblings would be dead. She left us… she’s disloyal… a traitor… disloyal blood is in my veins. She broke the Code, deserted her Clan… ” Her voice was breaking now- she scrunched her eyes closed for a moment and sunk her claws into the ground. “But she didn’t care! She- she acted like it was no big deal! Shattering everything I thought I knew… stars… she’s at some sort of old abandoned camp. Just outside our borders. I thought I’d better tell you… and there’s something else…” A moment’s pause, both to let them process it and let her get herself together. She’d have to ask Timberpaw to tell their siblings about this. She didn’t want to talk about any of this in camp…

”I’ve made a decision. This- this isn’t me asking for what you think about it.” She determinedly stared past her father, fur bristling. ”Smallbean asked me to become his apprentice. I said yes.” Her voice broke as she continued, pouring out her reasoning, hoping her father would approve. “WindClan needs somecat strong to represent them. I could be that cat. You know Beechface, SkyClan’s medicine cat- we don’t like her, but we have to respect her fighting ability. I could be like that- somecat to show WindClan isn’t weak. And it isn’t all sorting herbs- there’s blood and, and omens, and stuff…” Her voice trailed off as she looked down at the ground. She’d had a wonderful speech in her head, one that would convince anycat… but it had flown her mind. Maybe she’d dumped too much on them. But she had to talk about this… stars, what would Fawnstep think? She didn’t know, that was the terrible part. She- she hoped he’d support her… but… Henpaw squared her shoulders and lifted her gaze to look him in the eye. No matter what he thought, this was her decision, and she wasn’t going back on it, whether he liked it or not. Right?

Fawnstep listened intently, forcing a neutral expression at all the information that had been thrown at him. Slowly, his teeth began to grit, grinding together uncomfortably until he thought his jaw could clench no further. Hearing of Tawnyflare struck a nerve that he did not knew existed, or rather, had struggled to ignore. Claws clenched the earth and tore away at it. Finally, he let out a low growl, "Don't speak ill of your mother. Don't speak of her at all. She chose to leave our clan behind and is not worth considering. But her blood still runs through your veins."

It was because of this distraction that he hardly caught what she was speaking of next. The word medicine cat seemed to snap him into the moment. A mildly shocked expression crossed his features, showing mostly in his gaze, which was expressive in snatches when it deviated from the normal icy flint. Fawnstep took a moment to find the words and pushing away thoughts of his mate seemed to help. He straightened up, chest puffing out with pride. There had been a challenge in the way she squared herself against him that he had momentarily thought to rebuke. But the idea of his very own daughter as a medicine cat was appealing.

"You make sure that you are the best medicine cat in the forest, with skills that Beechface could only ever dream of matching. But don't forget to sharpen your claws, Henpaw, and never be afraid to use them. Make me proud, kit."

Timberpaw took in this information slowly, his eyes growing wide. Mother wasn't a traitor, she couldn't be! She wasn't a coward either! "Henpaw.... No... Mother WILL come back I know it! I thought you'd know it! He looked at his father with a slightly disgusted expression. "And you just want to ignore her? You just want to- to-" He struggled to find the words but he didn't need to, he sat down, hung his head and flicked his tail side by side angrily. He didn't care if his tail hit his father. He probably wanted it to.

Nothing in the world could prepare Timberpaw for the next thing that came out of his sister's mouth. "Wh-what?" His eyes widened and he raised his head slowly. "I mean... I get where you're coming from but- why? We both wanted to be the best warriors in the clan and now you- you just- you can't change your mind like that!" He blinked away what seemed to be tears and let out a heavy sigh. "I respect your decision, of course I would, I just... I didn't think it'd be you."

Henpaw’s eyes grew chilly at her father’s words, but she dipped her head in agreement. It was better this way. Tawnyflare might be a weakness, but her blood was not. At any rate, Henpaw’s pelt might be that of her mother, but her bones, muscle, head and heart were her father’s. At his next words, she saw a rosy glow settle over the world, and a lopsided grin grew on her face despite her best efforts to combat it. ”I will!” She mewed, straightening up, eyes shining. He was proud of her. There was a warm feeling in her chest that spread to the rest of her body, the wind’s sharp bite unnoticed. A shiver started at her spine, a shiver of happiness. Pure happiness. For a moment, the world was at peace.

And then she had to answer Timberpaw’s questions.

To be fair, if she were he and he her, she’d be asking questions. But she wasn’t. “Timber,” she mewed softly, scooting closer to him. “Timber, if I become a medicine cat, I can protect you. You’ll have to be the best warrior, but I have every confidence that you will.” She laid her tail across her brother’s back, giving him a lopsided grin (stars was this turning into her thing?) and leaning in to whisper to him. “I didn’t think it would be me either. Can’t argue with StarClan, though, eh? You be the best warrior, Timber, I’ve every confidence in you, but don’t be afraid to come to me when the waters get rough, eh?” She almost added don’t call Tawnyflare mother but decided to leave that conversation for later. A last reassuring grin to Timberpaw, a grateful look to her father, and Henpaw turned to face the wind, and her new life as a medicine cat.

She hoped she didn’t fox it up.