Recovering Bonds [Dayspring, Ashfall]

The sun was up already as Swiftspirit blinked awake, and she sighed, carefully shifting in her nest in an effort to get comfortable again. Her mind was a bit fuzzy from being asleep, and she fought off a yawn, pale eyes lifting towards the bright light that drifted through the medicine den's entrance.

She was beginning to get sick of being cooped up in the den. Poppy seeds had kept her resting, but it hardly felt like real rest. Pain tugged at her underside with each movement that wasn't quite careful enough, and a low huff escaped Swiftspirit as she finally managed to pull herself into a half-sitting position, leaning against the edge of her nest. Poor Smallbean had his paws full with the injured after the battle, but right now he seemed to be out. Collecting herbs maybe, or something. Swiftspirit didn't know, but if he wasn't here, he wasn't lecturing her to keep still and that was perfectly fine in Swiftspirit's view.

Dayspring was unsure if she was ever going to get used to living like this. Following the battle, her leg had been put into a wooden splint. It was a fancy term for a stick with some leaves wrapped around it. Its purpose was to keep her leg in place so that it would heal correctly, and eventually she would be back to walking on that front leg like there was never an injury in the first place. The situation was nowhere near comfortable, but she knew that it was going to be helpful in the long run. She had occasionally managed to slip away into slumber, but it never lasted for long. The majority of her time was dedicated to staring outside of the medicine den and hoping that she would be able to get back into action quickly.

The Gathering was set to take place in a few sunrises, but Dayspring was unsure if she would be able to walk with a splint by then. What would the other Clans think if she walked into Fourtrees with a branch attached to her leg? What would they think if she didn't show up at all? Which one would make WindClan seem weaker? Worry tugged at her heart. The last thing she wanted was for her Clan to seem weak in the eyes of the Clans that hadn't been there to witness the battle. She decided to let it be Lilacstar's call.

She wasn't the only cat that was stuck in the medicine den, either. She still felt terrible about the fact that some of her other Clanmates had been doomed to sitting in the medicine den just like her. Perhaps it would be best to try and make conversation in an attempt to raise their spirits.
"Um..." She began, unsure of what to say, "...nevermind, sorry. It's just hard to be sure of what to say in situations like this."

During the heat of the battle, when her face was marred by Bloodstrike, Ashfall had hoped that perhaps her loss of vision was due to blood in her eye, that maybe the wound she had been given was superficial. The next time she woke up, she knew that vision in her eye was gone forever. This time, when she woke up, she had secretly hoped that her eye would have magically healed, that it would just... be better. A stupid hope, the vision in that eye was still gone, and the area still hurt, along with her mess of an ear and her paw, which felt number than it should, even after the time it had taken to heal. Most of her more superficial scratches were healing just fine, but her paw? Would she ever run properly again? It angered her, and that had kept Ashfall's head on her paws, looking bitterly out of the medicine den. She had tried her best to stay unfeeling, to tell herself that she'd adapt as she always had, but it was hard.

Her head tilted upward when she heard Dayspring speak, eye flicking over to the deputy. It was worth it, she told herself, seeing Dayspring alive was worth it. Had she not distracted Bloodstrike, stars know how far he would've gone to prove a point. Windclan would have their deputy, alive and well, soon enough. The loss of her eye was worth it to keep another alive. Dayspring seemed level-headed, and had a good heart. She'd be a good leader someday, it would've been a shame if Bloodstrike had gone too far. "I'll start then, how're you holding up? How's your leg?" Ashfall was nearly surprised to hear herself speaking, she hadn't spoken much since she had gotten injured. All she did was think, but she wanted to speak to Dayspring anyway, wanted to make sure that she was doing alright. Remembering that Swiftspirit was also there, nest-bound, she decided that it wouldn't kill her to speak to her as well. "How are you holding up too Swiftspirit? I'm assuming you'll be back in action soon?" Ashfall shifted as she spoke, awkwardly rearranging her paws in her nest.

Swiftspirit turned her head at the sound of voices, offering her clanmates a brief smile. They were all stuck in the den, and they were all probably miserable being stuck here (Swiftspirit was, at least) but being able to talk to each other might just stave off the mind-numbing boredom.

"Not soon enough. Think Smallbean will at least let us out of the den for a change of scenery sometime this moon? I don't know how much more sitting around I can take." Her words were cheerful despite being punctured with a slight grimace as Swiftspirit shifted around to face Ashfall and Daysspring, the movement sending pain rippling through her belly. She hadn't thought the wound was as large as it was, though the amount of blood she'd lost during the battle really should have clued her in sooner. The long gashes ran from shoulder to hip, almost, and while Swiftspirit was confined to the medicine den she missed fresh air and being able to do simple things. Like walk, or hunt. "How are you two holding up?" Swiftspirit hadn't tangled with the Skyclan deputy like they had, and after seeing the damage he had been able to cause, Swiftspirit was glad of it. Ashfall and Dayspring had been well and truly mauled seemingly without remorse. Swiftspirit had thought clan cats avoided trying to kill or maim their opponents, but clearly the Skyclan deputy felt that ignoring that part of the code was perfectly fine. Meanwhile the warrior that Swiftspirit had fought had dissolved into a blubbering mess of tears upon realizing that he had actually injured Swiftspirit. It was hard to believe that both toms were of the same clan, truthfully. Bearspirit had taken him out immediately after, and part of Swiftspirit felt bad for the dark tom. He clearly hadn't wanted to hurt anyone, unlike others.

Dayspring hid her sigh of relief when Ashfall took the lead in the conversation. However, whenever she looked over at her one-eyed Clanmate, the pit of guilt in her stomach seemed to widen and expand. Ashfall had been maimed by Bloodstrike in an attempt to distract him from practically killing Dayspring, and so the WindClan deputy couldn't help but feel responsible. No matter how long she sat in one of the medicine den's nests and pondered over how to properly thank the white-furred warrior, no words could truly express how she felt.

"It's better. It feels a bit strange considering the fact that I'm used to walking on all fours, but I think it'll be back to normal sooner or later." Dayspring explained, her voice low and almost apologetic.
She then turned her head to look over at Swiftspirit. The wounds that the she-cat carried were enough to make Dayspring wince as if they were her own. She managed to force a smile at the warrior's remark. When her days of being confined to the medicine den came to an end, then she was sure that she would never take her daily life for granted ever again.

"I'm holding up fine, I suppose. Now that most of the pain in my leg is gone, I guess what really hurts is knowing that so many of our Clanmates are hurt."
Dayspring glanced over at Ashfall, blinking slowly, "Thank you, by the way. I could've been dead if it weren't for what you did. I have no idea how I'll ever be able to repay you."

"I'd like to be out of here soon, I need to figure out how much weight this paw will really be able to take." Ashfall lifted her front right leg, showing her paw, and the injury on the back of the leg that had caused the mess in the first place. It was numb, and very difficult to flex the paw itself, but other than that the wound had been healing quite nicely. It was concerning to say the least. "I'm going to have to figure out a lot I think..." The loss of her eye, and the fact her paw hadn't quite healed, meant that Ashfall would have to figure out again how to run with the speed of a proper Windclan cat, and hunt like one too.

The ear Ashfall had left swiveled to Dayspring, listening to how she was. The fact that she thought she'd be back to normal was comforting, her loss wasn't just for nothing. Swiftspirit seemed as if she would be back to normal soon enough as well. Everyone would be fine. Everyone but her. Then she heard Dayspring talk about why she hurt. Dayspring was a kind soul, Ashfall mused. Her hurt came from the injuries her clanmates had sustained, not just her own. Empathy was a good trait in a leader.

These thoughts were the reason that Ashfall was surprised that Dayspring's next words were directed at her. Her blue eye widened, looking over at the deputy sitting in the nest only a little ways away. She was thanking her? "You- you don't need to repay me! I just did what anyone should have done." Ashfall was caught completely off guard, she was being thanked! Her gaze turned anywhere but Dayspring, and she felt her skin warm beneath her fur. How embarrassing, being completely caught off guard by a simple thank you! "I guess just don't die before you get those nine lives, that's how you can repay me... You're a good deputy Dayspring, you'll probably be a good leader too, but only if you're alive to see it." Ashfall said this all gruffly, looking at her paws, outside, the ceiling, anywhere to try to dissipate the awkwardness she felt. She wasn't very good at... feelings and things.

"We'll make it out of here soon." Swiftspirit offered the other two she-cats a wry smile. Dayspring's leg couldn't have been comfortable, but hopefully it would heal up okay. Ashfall though... Swiftspirit liked her, she hadn't wanted to see her hurt, or any of her clanmates for that matter. She'd never regain her lost vision, and Swiftspirit had no idea how well her injured paw would heal up. All they could do was hope for the best. "You saved Dayspring from worse injury, Ashfall." Swiftspirit mewed. Ashfall had paid for that, though. Meanwhile Swiftspirit had been taken out of the fight early, due to a mistake on her part. If she hadn't been so exhausted she could have dodged that Skyclan warrior easily. "I wish I could've done more to help." Maybe she would have been able to do more if she hadn't been so exhausted, her own fault. Instead she'd been sidelined with a Riverclan warrior watching over her. Not that she didn't appreciate Bearspirit's help, but he'd been focusing on her rather than the battle, too. Guilt made Swiftspirit's fur prickle with discomfort. Riverclan had been there, and Windclan warriors had still been hurt.

Ashfall spoke again, pulling Swiftspirit from her thoughts. "She's right, you're a great deputy, Dayspring." She noticed Ashfall wasn't looking at them, and wondered at the awkwardness, but didn't comment on it.

Dayspring silently watched as Ashfall fell into silence. She was unsure if she had ever seen the warrior in a state like this before. It was almost endearing. A ghost of a smile appeared on the deputy's maw, but it vanished a heartbeat later as if it was never there. Despite all of that, she still  felt the slightest bit guilty about how the battle had turned out. All of the reassurance in the world wouldn't be able to help her out.

"I've never really put a lot of thought into the fact that I might be a leader one day. I mean, I know that I'm next in line, but it's still a bit daunting to think about. Thank you both for believing in me, though. It makes me feel a lot better knowing that I have WindClan's support." Dayspring dipped her head as a sign of appreciation.
Leadership was much more than a title. It was more than having a special rock to stand on during Gatherings or a special den to sleep in at night. One of the aspects of the warrior code was that the leaders' word was the law. In fact, the leaders' word was the warrior code itself. They were in charge of making important decisions for their Clan, and the choices that they made could either result in prosperity or hardships.

In the future, what if Dayspring made a decision that caused more warriors to end up in the medicine den like this?

She swallowed the lump in her throat and lifted her head up once again.
"I just hope that the next Gathering ends up going well. Surely SkyClan will have reasons to taunt WindClan if we show up with a noticeably low amount of warriors due to injuries."
All she could do was hope that the two Clans could respect the code and StarClan enough to refrain from getting into another physical altercation.

It didn't take long for Ashfall to get a handle on her emotions, and erase the embarrassment from her thoughts. Once again, she was shielded from the world, her thoughts unperceivable to most. That was how Ashfall preferred her life anyway, the only one who needed to know what she was thinking was her. It took her a while to speak again, simply having listened to the other two in the medicine den with her. Though, the process of her thoughts and speaking was hasted when she heard the word 'Skyclan'.

"Skyclan has nothing to taunt us for, unless they would want the same treatment from us. We could certainly go on about their deputy's dishonorable tactics, because only Starclan knows what will happen to Skyclan when he becomes leader. Or their stubbornness, or their secretiveness, the list goes on." Ashfall meowed dryly, simply listing off everything wrong with Skyclan currently. "Not that I'm saying provoke them, but they have injured as well, they can't come after us again just because they're mad. Not unless they want to injure their warriors further." Skyclan was a pawful, and Bloodstrike likely would encourage his kind of tactics in his warriors when he was leader. That did not bode well for any of the clans, Ashfall didn't want to see anyone else get severely injured because of a stupid dispute.

"They'll have injured, just like we do. They learned Dawnhawk was no longer here, and they decided to make a point rather than stand down. Hopefully they believe that they've gotten the point across." If they had wanted to be reasonable, they could've backed down once they learned that Windclan no longer sheltered their criminal. Swiftspirit could have said their violence was senseless, and to a degree it was... But that violence had carried a message, too. Whatever Dawnhawk had done to them, Skyclan was willing to do whatever it took to get vengeance, and that seemed to mean punishing anyone who they believed stood in their way.

"I don't think I've ever been to a gathering that wasn't tense and two seconds from violence... Are they ever not?" She was genuinely curious about it, each one she had been to was always tense... And always seemed to have certain cats at the center of that tension.

Dayspring couldn't help but flatten her ears against her head as the SkyClan deputy was brought up. She never wanted to see Bloodstrike again for as long as she was alive, but considering the fact that they were both the second-in-commands of their respective Clans, then their paths were destined to cross again. Thinking about their next encounter made the she-cat sick to her stomach.

Still, she felt as if she couldn't blame the entirety of SkyClan for Wolfstar or Bloodstrike's actions. They did seem like quite the terrifying Clan as a whole, though. Stars, even their medicine cat had taken a life from Lilacstar like it was a regular occurrence. She looked over at Swiftspirit with her head tilted in thought.
"You're right, Gatherings are always a little tense. I hope they have as much common sense as the both of you. I know that we just fought a battle with them, but I still can't help but not be angry at the entire Clan. There were apprentices amongst their ranks in that invasion... young apprentices who surely hadn't been alive long enough to know who Dawnhawk was personally. If they were forced into it then I certainly can't blame them for just doing what they were told."

She stared at both of her paws and then paid attention to the one that she was unable to move.
"The only two cats that I'm truly angry with are Wolfstar and Bloodstrike. StarClan forgive me for speaking ill of other cats behind their backs, but I feel bad for any cats that would have to live under their leadership."

Ashfall, despite having to turn her head to see both Swiftspirit and Dayspring, was able to note Dayspring's ears flattening at the mention of Skyclan's deputy. Not wanting to embarrass herself again, she opted for not opening her mouth, and simply shooting her an apologetic glance. Most of her thoughts now were taken up by what her kin had wrought. Her father, a murderer, liar, coward. Her grandfather, a dishonorable brute, the only reason he had not killed could have been the code, or it could have just been a message to Windclan of what he was capable of. Their blood was in her veins, so would she turn out like them in the end? Or could she be different? Only time could tell, she thought.

Her thoughts stopped once again when Dayspring began to speak, turning her head so that her eye could actually see. She'd never get quite used to the lack of vision she now had, the massive blindspot that had appeared. It was... uncomfortable not knowing what was there, what she'd see if she still had both eyes. Ashfall only watched as the deputy spoke, following Dayspring's gaze to the broken leg that laid there. It made her angry that she had failed to keep Bloodstrike from injuring her, having only jumped into the fray after. If only she had been faster, stronger.

"You're right. It isn't Skyclan's fault, it's Wolfstar's fault. It's Bloodstrike's fault. It's Dawnhawk's fault. But, and forgive me, it's Lilacstar's fault as well. She let him stay, even after he admitted to being a murderer. Then, when Skyclan was on our campstep, she sent him away. We could have given him to them, we could have avoided so much of this if we had just let Skyclan have their justice." Her tone was devoid of emotion, as she purposefully locked it away. After a moment of further thought, Ashfall continued. "I had hoped to know Bloodstrike, even talk to him at a gathering. I had hoped that perhaps my grandfather was a reasonable tom, that I could build friendships with kin I would never truly know. That chance is gone now, especially now that I know what lengths he'll go to." Her eye fell upon Dayspring's injury once again, not because of her guilt this time, but instead because she was unsure if she could look upon her own injuries still. She had not seen herself since her injury, she didn't trust herself to look upon it and be strong.

"That tom I fought with looked like he'd barely earned his warrior name, and kept stumbling over apologies after he caught my belly with his claws. I don't think he or some of the other warriors wanted to fight at all, but it's not like they had a choice. As for Wolfstar and Bloodstrike... No cat is that vengeful without a reason. Taking it out on innocents wasn't right, even so." Swiftspirit shook her head. "I don't want to agree with you, Ashfall, but you aren't wrong. Skyclan likely views us as complicit because she allowed him to stay after finding out the truth." Swiftspirit didn't want to speak ill of Lilacstar, she liked the leader and respected her... But it wasn't wrong to question the decisions she had made in regards to Dawnhaw. "I told her blind trust would come back to bite the clan eventually, and it has. Shrikestorm might be hotheaded, and I don't agree with everything he says, but he wasn't wrong about that, either."

"Lilacstar may have been the one to keep Dawnhawk in the camp, but SkyClan still should've had some common sense. Most of the apprentices and even some of the younger warriors in our Clan weren't alive to witness the Asylum or SkyClan's warning." Dayspring sighed, shaking her head.

"After I lashed out at Dawnhawk a few moons ago at that Clan meeting he held, I began to think about Lilacstar's decision. Obviously, I wasn't thrilled that he was in our camp, but I was also worried about what he'd do if she had casted him out right in that moment. He has a history of ruthless violence... what if he had decided to strike back at WindClan in revenge for being exiled? I didn't want to see anyone in the Clan get hurt, but clearly that happened anyway." The she-cat was truly dejected.
Her desire to not have any further blood spilled had ultimately failed. She hated being pessimistic, but it almost made her wonder if something else would plague WindClan once they managed to rebuild themselves once again.

"That tom is nothing but bad luck. It seems as if cats get hurt wherever he goes. I don't like to wish death on cats, but I honestly hope that SkyClan find him and kill him." Dayspring muttered as she narrowed her eyes.

Ashfall's jaw tightened. Everything was crazy, but at least her current denmates seemed to agree with her, despite them clearly wishing they couldn't. Shifting once more, she sighed. "Dayspring if you're wishing death on a cat, it means they probably deserve it. You're probably one of the least likely to want a cat to die, if he's made you angry enough for it... well then he needs to be stopped. I'd like to believe that Lilacstar has learned from this, I'm certainly not more experienced than her, and I can understand wanting to give a cat a second chance... I just hope that she learns that not everyone is as they seem. With luck, maybe most of Skyclan will oppose this stupid feud, and perhaps we can all work together to find my father before he causes more damage." She lifted her paw to try and clean over where she lost her eye for a moment before realizing that could mess with whatever scab was there and put it down awkwardly. Stars, her wounds couldn't heal fast enough!

Ashfall decided perhaps changing the topic could be good, she didn't want to make Dayspring or Swiftspirit uncomfortable. Everyone already knew Dawnhawk was a menace, and that Lilacstar made a mistake. There was no changing the past, there was no reason to discuss what could've been further. "So... when we're healed we should go out on a hunting patrol or something. Maybe one of you guys can help me figure out how to hunt again, this paw seems like it won't be healing anytime soon. I guess it could but..." She trailed off, thinking once again. Of course, Bloodstrike would be efficient at injuries, his name said it all. His claws had cut deep, and she couldn't move her paw nearly as well as she used to be able to. It was no normal paw injury that was for sure.